A/n:

Hello! Heres ch4 of this story, i worked on this during lectures, free time and in between some other stuff while i was moving into my new apt. at some points may seem like it skips(Maybe) because i was working on this seperate days which were like; a few days in between. anyway hope you enjoy!

I took into consideration some suggestions, and i converseed with some readers, and i think i did a pretty good job (i think) with integrating them into the story.

did i forget to mention it is REALLY hot in Socal right now? geez, no way im going out to the local skatepark now... guess that means more time for you "lucky" readers.

I was still feeling wobbly from when I suddenly woke up back at the office, my legs shook under me, and they threatened to buckle. But I didn't allow it, no matter what my body threatened to do, I wouldn't allow it to do anything until I found who I was looking for. I was also still feeling a little distraught from my conversation with Shizune-san, but I kept my mind clear of it for the most part. I ran faster and faster, weaving around the crowded market street in the oppressive heat.

The truth is the truth… and nothing can change that… I thought as I ran faster.

Shizune-san's words repeated themselves in my mind over and over again as I made my sprint to my destination. And no matter how I looked at it, she was right… You can't change the truth, and the truth will always be the truth… no matter what.

But then… what is the truth?

What was it…really?

I saw the flames engulf everything that day, it destroyed everything within its reach, and it almost killed me and my team as well…

But… in my dream, the grotesque sea, the piercing red moon, and the clear image of Naruto standing in front of me facing off against Uchiha Itachi. It was real…

Which one do I believe?

I bumped into a few people, I couldn't dodge them quickly enough with all these thoughts distracting me. The people I bumped into, turned and yelled at me, but I didn't pay any mind to them… I had to find her… she can help me find the truth I was looking for.

-

Finally, I made it to my destination… I was so tired… honestly tired… The distance between here and the office wasn't that far, but all those nights without sleep was finally catching up to me quickly, in fact I don't think I've even had a full meal since that day I went to Ichiraku. I burst through the glass doors, "Ino!" I yelled with whatever breathe I had left in my lungs. "Ino!!" I called again.

There was nobody in the flower shop, just the counter with the register and a half empty room of roses, daisies daffodils and a bunch of other random flowers scattered across the shop. I stammered to the counter walking on whatever reserves I had left. It was so hot outside it sapped whatever energy I had, and I was sweating everywhere, I was sweating so much that it was dripping from my chin and down from my fingertips without any end…

"Ino! Where are you?" I yelled once more leaning onto the counter.

"I'm here you impatient moron!" came a cocky response from the back room. "What do you … Sakura?" she said in a semi-shocked manner as she walked into the flower shop, clearly she wasn't expecting my sudden and noisy visit. "What are you doing here? And you're getting your nasty sweat onto my counter!"

"Sorry…" I panted, "I.. need to talk to you."

"Sakura, are you ok? Why are you upset? You don't look so good."

The room was beginning to spin a little… it was an early sign of heat stroke, damnit… My body had finally had enough with me and my exhaustion, and it slowly began to shut down, I could feel it... I did my best to fight against it.

"Ino… I need… you to help me with something…" I said still panting breathlessly.

My legs slowly began to give out, they wouldn't carry my heavy body any longer.

"Sakura… what… Hey Sakura!" she yelled, as the room finally faded out behind a black curtain… Damn…

-

It was all a nightmare, a living nightmare… All this time after that day... and not one moment, was ever… normal. I spent everyday, wandering around the streets, doing whatever that needed to be done; helping someone on the street with something heavy, going to the office to read random novels on random subjects, going to the hospital to check up on Sasuke-kun, and to help anybody who needed it there.

In my mind, I told myself, I was helping people… but in reality, I was just trying to keep my mind off of Naruto, and keep the guilt behind me. But, even so… just about everything reminded me of him… and guilt would sneak up on me every single time.

At the Ramen bar… "Don't worry about Sasuke, He'll never go to that freak! I guarantee it!" he said…

At the main gates to Konoha… "I'll bring back Sasuke! That's a promise of a lifetime!" he said.

At the hospital…"I promised I would bring him back Sakura-chan… I will keep my promise! That's my way of the Ninja!" he said.

And finally…"I told you Sakura-chan… I would bring him back to you…"

I pictured him smiling at me, it wasn't that foxy smile he always gave to everybody, but it was a smile that told me… he was glad to do all this for me… Why?

Why? Why are you always pushing yourself? Why didn't you ever stop and think about yourself for once? Why didn't you just worry about your own well being? Why did you keep your promise to me? You shouldn't have if it meant dying… You idiot…

I never told you... I...

-

"Sakura… Hey… Sakura…" came a familiar voice. "Wake up… c'mon!"

I slowly slid my eyes open, the picture of Naruto replaced with the semi-blinding light of the roof light. The sound of slow spinning blades of a roof fan slowly echoed along with my slow heartbeat in my head, and something was tickling my nose. It was itchy…

"Ino…" I said in a raspy tone. "Your hair is in my face."

"Sorry." She said, tucking her stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you ok? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were drunk or something!"

"I'm sorry about that… Where am I?" I asked looking around where I lay.

"Oh, you're lying on a couch in the backroom of our flower shop… are you sure you're ok? You seemed a little upset when you came in." she said still looking down at me.

I slowly began to sit up, exhaustion still fresh in my system, "Yeah, I'm fine… just.. tired." I was feeling sore everywhere…

"Damnit forehead girl, you haven't been eating or sleeping properly haven't you?" she said putting her hands on her hips pouting at me.

"What makes you say that?" I asked bringing my hand to my woozy head.

"You're clothes…" she said pointing her finger at me.

"My clothes?" I asked looking up to her confused.

"Yeah, they don't fit you as well as they did before, they're a clear one and a half sizes bigger now! And your eyes have the worst bags I have ever seen under them!" she continued criticizing my appearance.

"I'm fine… don't worry about me." I responded as I swung my legs over the side of the couch. "Besides, there's…"

"No, you're not fine!" she slightly yelled cutting me off. "Look at you! I've never seen you so depressed in such a long time! What's the matter with you?!" she said nearly yelling.

I wanted to defend myself from her onslaught of criticism, but I was compelled to stay quiet and listen to her put me on the spot. Perhaps the exhaustion was still taking its toll on my body, and besides, I think I deserved it in a way.

I looked into my lap and folded my hands neatly onto them, waiting for Ino to continue her criticism towards me.

"Sakura…" she said finally ceasing her criticism, "What's the matter… really… I haven't seen you so upset like this before." She said finally calming herself down.

She mustn't have heard the news yet… I guess Tsunade-sama still hasn't released the information of our mission to the public yet… It was no surprise, she was probably taking this pretty hard too.

"Ino…" I said to her looking into my lap, "Can you jump into my mind?"

"What?" She responded confusedly.

"The Yamanaka Clan has the ability to control people's minds doesn't it?"

"Y-yes…"

"Then… isn't there a technique your family uses so you can you see into one's mind?" I asked still staring into my lap.

"Well… We do sure, but it's usually used on recon missions, to see into the enemy's minds to gather information…"

"I want you to jump into my mind then…"

"W-why?" she stuttered.

"Look," I said finally looking up to her, "just do it… Please…"

Ino just stared at me totally confused, but if I know her as much as I think I do… Her curiosity would get the best of her, and she would do it just to get the whole story of the situation.

"Fine…" she finally said, "But if anything goes wrong… it's not my fault, ok? I haven't mastered this technique completely yet."

I nodded slowly in response.

"Alright then…Here I go.." she said taking a breath in and making a seal with her hands.

I lowered my head again and closed my eyes. I did my best to keep my mind clear of any distractions that would hamper with Ino's technique, and to help her speed the process up a bit. But… a few seconds into it, my mind began to wander off about the whole situation. I suddenly got the chills, and began to shiver uncontrollably… I felt cold, even though the room itself was warm from the hot day. I felt two tears building behind my eyelids, and a lump growing in my throat. I tried not to let the tears leak through… But as I focused on my tears, my throat began to tremble, and I began to whimper, I did my best to suppress it, but it was no use, I couldn't control it.

After a few minutes, I felt something sit itself down next to me, and two warm arms wrapped themselves around me from the side, "Sorry Sakura… I understand now…" Ino said, finally breaking the silence between me and her.

I was still tearing uncontrollably, "W-why?" I asked opening my and looking over to her.

"I didn't know your mission was so terrible… I didn't know Naruto had…" she said not finishing the last word, wrapping her arms around me tighter to calm me down.

I began to whimper again, "I-Ino…" I whimpered.

"And… I'm sorry… but that dream… it was just a dream Sakura…" she said lowering my head onto her shoulder. "That's what you came here for isn't it?"

I laid my head onto her shoulder and cried some more. She told me something I knew I was going to hear, but I hoped and wished that I would hear something else… I wanted to hear her say it was a sign that he was still alive out there somewhere…

"B-but…" I said hiccupping a little, "I… that dream… it was… so real… It can't be…"

She stroked her fingers through my hair to try and calm me down, "Sakura… It was just a dream… Naruto… He's gone… He died protecting you…"

I began to sob now, I was destroyed on the inside… whatever hope I had left, was completely destroyed and gone… I had my truth now... and I hated it.

"Shh… Sakura…" she said rocking back and fourth, "You shouldn't be crying… You should be happy you are alive…"

No…

"No… Ino.. You don't understand… Naruto is dead because of me!" I said nearly yelling, I lifted my head away from her shoulder, "He died because of me! I shouldn't have asked him to bring back Sasuke!" I broke free of her arms, and stood up in front of the couch.

"Don't you get it now?! I killed him!!" I was now completely yelling and no longer in control of my emotions… I wanted to so badly for Naruto to be alive, I wanted him to be here next to me smiling brightly… That way, I wouldn't be feeling this way… I was so selfish…

I turned away from Ino to run out of the room, but instead, I wobbled to the wall next to the doorway and leaned my arm on it and then my head onto my forearm, still crying and screaming.

"Sakura, please calm down! Please! You're scaring me!!" Ino said from behind me.

I slowly knelt down in front of the wall, and continued to cry into my forearm. I placed my hand over my chest where my heart was throbbing, it felt like it was going to jump right out of my chest. I gripped my shirt tightly and continued to cry.

"Sakura!" yelled Ino as she placed her hand over my shoulder. "Stand up! Stop doing this to yourself! It's not your fault!"

Yes it is… Yes it is…

"Sakura, Naruto wouldn't want you do be like this!" she yelled over my cries.

But… it was my fault.

"I know you cared for him… but doing this won't bring him back! You gotta stop blaming yourself!!" she continued as she shook my shoulder.

But… It was because of me he died… I killed him… I made him make me a promise… a promise of a lifetime he couldn't refuse… So I'm guilty…

I felt my heart race faster and faster… it was beyond pain… I ceased to cry and I fell to the floor… my lips stopped moving and I lay on my side staring into wall with a blank stare… all went mute, and Ino became a fuzzy muted sound in my ears. She continued to call my name, but I couldn't respond to her… my body wouldn't let me.

I closed my eyes, and sleep came and took me away…

He came to me again… he was smiling again… Naruto… I'm sorry…It was because of me… because of me…

before anybody asks, Is he really dead? i can only answer "we'll see" half because of suggestions, and half because this story is going on random ideas. lol

as always, questions, suggestions please?, reviews, and positive flames are welcome...

peace!