Chapter Four

When You're Gone

"When you're gone the pieces

of my heart are missing you.

When you're gone the face I

came to know is missing too.

When you're gone, the words

I need to hear to always get

me through the day and make

it okay. I miss you."

She woke the next morning looking around the room for her camera, and soon found it on the dresser. I should take these down to the darkroom and develop them. She thought with a sigh as she stood. She traipsed through the living room and opened the door to the other hall where Sesshoumaru kept boxes of things in closets and such. She walked down the long hall to the darkroom, which was really supposed to be another room for storage, but Sesshoumaru had someone put in a sink so she could develop her pictures in it.

She closed the door behind her with her foot and walked over to the table. As she began to develop her photos she felt a little better. Maybe working would keep her pain away. Keep her mind off it at least. Though, as she was finishing and looked through the pictures, she saw one of she and InuYasha. She looked so happy and it made her feel gutted again. She sighed and wanted to throw it away, but instead she put it in the cabinet where she kept her printing paper.

Sesshoumaru wouldn't be home for about two hours or so. She looked at her cell. It was almost 4:00, and he would be there in about an hour. It was almost suicidal to think about how alone she felt in that moment. No one had called to check on her or just to say, "Hey, Amy, what's up?". Not that it bothered her. What bothered her was that Sesshoumaru hadn't called to make sure she was awake yet. Maybe he got to work and had a lot to do or something.

She walked out of the darkroom with her new photos. She would show them to Sesshy when he got home. She opened her cell and felt the need to talk to someone. Hm... let's see... Sesshy is as work, InuYasha is an ass, Kagome is a backstabbing slut... who does that leave? Sango or Kouga... oh, the mass amounts of friends I have. I could call Miroku, but he's more Sesshoumaru's friend than mine and I hardly know him. She finally just got frustrated and closed her phone angrily."Ugh, I'll just call no one."

She sat on the couch in the living room and went through the photos. They were of scenic things mostly, but as she went through them she found one of Sesshoumaru that she had taken about three weeks ago when they were having one of their good moments, and he was actually smiling. She'd always thought he looked so much better when he did so. The picture made her smile.

While she was in thought her cell started vibrating in her pocket, startling her, and she quickly answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ames."

"I thought you'd never call, Sesshy."

"Yeah, sorry. I've just been a little busy. I planned to call you earlier, but I got caught up in some stuff."

"Like some girl's eyes?" She laughed quietly.

"No." He laughed slightly. "You sound better."

"Yeah... I developed my pictures, and I want you to see them."

"Alright. I'll be home in a bit. I'll see you then."

"Okay. Later."

She heard the phone hang up.

---

Amy glanced up at him through her bangs as she pulled the photos from a drawer in the darkroom, and being careful that she didn't let her loose pants slip and allow Sesshoumaru a glance at her rubber ducky panties.

She didn't even pause to think about how her mood had suddenly brightened by just being around him. "Here." She handed him the photos and she saw him look at the one she'd left in the drawer. She just shut it and tried not to make it seem like she was hiding it. She really should throw it away.

"So what's the one you're hiding?"

"Nothing, just look through those." She said as she left to go to the kitchen for a soda.

As Sesshoumaru went through them, he saw that she had left about three seconds ago, and quickly he opened the drawer and took out the photo. It was of Amy and InuYasha. She looked astonishingly happy, and he felt his chest tighten a bit at that. She tried to hide it now, but she was hurting still.

He heard her footsteps and he put the photo back and closed the drawer before she came in.

"Well, I'm curious. What do you think?"

"I'm impressed. Though, what's the deal with this one?" He pulled out the picture of him.

"I like that one. You look so much better when you smile."

"Just like you look so much better when you don't fake a smile."

"Ugh. Fuck you." She took the photos and started back out of the darkroom until he pulled her back. He grabbed her soda and the photos and set them beside the sink. "What?"

He sighed, "Shut up." He said as he pulled her toward him in a rough embrace.

"Sesshy?"

In that moment, she'd felt like the world could have completely disappeared and she wouldn't have cared. Not one tiny bit.

All because of what she'd seen in his eyes.

Those eyes, glowing and golden like the sun, were the pathways to his soul. To know Sesshoumaru, you had to know his eyes. Know that in the dark light of night, a deeper ring of gold appeared around his pupil. Know that even through his anger, you could see his sadness hidden inside. She knew him, knew his eyes, and she knew what the rare emotion in his eyes meant. He cared.

"Don't hide it. I know it's all there, and it won't go away if you do that. You need someone."

"What?" She gently pushed away from him, feeling the butterflies do their dance in her abdomen. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry... I want to be here for you. I want you to know that you can come to me with your problems. However small they may be. I want... you to be happy for once, and I know I sound like I'm trying to be controlling -and believe me, that's the last thing I'd want to be - but I want to be the most important person in your life."

"Damn it, Taisho! You are the most important person in my life." She sighed happily, "That's not going to change. Ever. I just can't be open with you on certain things because you don't understand."

"Why? Because I change girlfriends constantly?"

"Maybe that's part of it. You just haven't grasped what love feels like yet."

He sighed as he poked her forehead, trying to make the air in the small room feel less dense. He saw her smile like she was really happy, and he smiled too for the first time in awhile. "Well, I care about you. I don't want you getting hurt like that again."

She couldn't stop smiling as she heard him say that, and for once since the whole mess between she and InuYasha she felt happy and cared about.

Wow. Sorry that took so long.

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