Chapter Eight

Total Immortal

"Sometimes the water feels so real.

As I walk through it fills my lungs,

My god, I'm drowning.

This day never seems to end.

This pain, never."

She hugged him goodbye, and boarded her plane. Soon she would be far from the home she knew into the strange foreign one that she left years ago. She swore she would never come back, but as she was sitting on the plane listening to her iPod, everything came back. The homesickness for New York while she was there, the nosey mom, the windy days, and the cold lonely nights.

She thought about how it would be when she would stay there for a month. It would turn out the same and she would be dying to see Sesshoumaru, and dying to see her friends.

As the month passed with difficulty she felt pathetic, and lonely. She wanted to see Sesshoumaru just as she thought. They talked on the phone almost everyday, but she felt very distanced from him.

Sesshoumaru had feelings for Amy, but he found someone that almost reminded him of her. Her name was Kikyo, and she was beautiful. She was completely different, but he always seemed to compare her to Amy. He wanted to just get Amy out of his mind. It would never work, so he wanted to get over her.

Sesshoumaru had finally decided to tell Amy about her.

"Ames, I... I think I'm in love."

She felt something cold and heavy hit her in the stomach. She felt it gnawing at her insides and filling her bloodstream with cold poison. "Really?" She fought the tears. "With who?" She managed before she felt the hot tears stream down her reddened cheeks.

"Her name is Kikyo. I met her through Sango."

Sango? Sango?! What?! No, she wouldn't do this to me, she wouldn't draw Sesshoumaru to someone else, would she?! The hurting grew worse as she felt rejection, and betrayal.

"Ames? You there?"

"Yeah," She tried not to make it sound like she was crying.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Sesshy." She lied. She put her face in her pillow and tried her hardest to fight off the sobs that were trying to emerge in her vocal chords. The lump in her throat became too painful to bear, and she hung up the phone. She wept convulsively into her pillow as she imagined it, hoping that he wouldn't call her back. She thought of him holding the hand of someone else, and kissing them. She imagined that she would become even more insignificant in his life.

Sesshoumaru was in love, and she... she felt more alone than she had in that entire month. She wanted to hate him, to hate this Kikyo ... but she couldn't.

She wanted to die.

She wondered that if she had never left, if it would've been different. Fate was truly cruel. She thought of that kiss that he apologized for. He thought of that moment in his bedroom. She thought of that time in the darkroom.

Was it all a lie? A horrible lie that was eating away at her insides, and causing her to go insane.

He phone began to vibrate again, and she picked it up. It was Sesshy. She answered, trying to keep her voice fake, and happy.

"Hey, I'm sorry. The phone lost signal or something."

"It's alright." He lied. He knew she hung up.

"Yeah. So, um... has InuYasha asked about me?"

"Actually, no. He hasn't bothered."

"Oh." She wanted to cry again. It wasn't that she cared. It was that she didn't feel cared about. She knew it was selfish, but in that moment, she didn't give a shit.

"So, I want you to meet Kikyo. I'm sure you two will get along, I mean -"

"If it's alright with you, I'd like to go to bed." She cut him off gravely.

"Yeah, okay. Goodnight, Ames." He said as she hung up.