I was just watching Passions (does anyone out there watch it? I hate soap operas, but this one is different, cuz it rules!) And OMG, I feel so sad, because one of the best characters was just killed, and whoa, I feel kind of weird. You know whenever a character in a fic or a book is killed, you feel kinda weird, well, yeah that's what I'm feeling. Anyway, on with the story!

Chapter 8: Substitutes and Psychiatry

Monday, October 9, my room, few moments before bus comes

I had the worst trouble finding clothes that I thought that Kitty would wear. Seriously, I've never been much of a fashion plate, and I don't have a huge variety of clothes. So I did the impossible, sneak into Sora's room. And trust me, it sounds easy, but it's hard.

Let me explain a bit. Sora, as you already know, would do anything for a buck and a date. And with all the people she's hurt over the years; she's made a lot of money. I mean a lot! Like, she hooked people up for about 100 yen, and then she tutored some guy in math for 50 yen and a date, and the list goes on.

With that in mind, you should know that she a lot of stuff in her room. Way more stuff that Tyson's whole house, probably. It had like clothes stuffed in the closet, unfinished homework on her desk, and her bed was unmade. Whenever I ask her about her personal hygiene, she just says the same thing. "It's a high school thing. You wouldn't get it." Yeah, like that's an excuse.

Anyway, I had to bolt into her room, grab Kitty-like clothes, and rush out as fast as I could. The problem was, everything was so messy I didn't know where to start. Eventually, I found a hot pink halter top, a black skirt, black high heeled boots, and a pink headband. All in all, I looked okay. Okay, in that I'm-in-your-face look, but still okay.

Sora didn't think I looked okay though. Right when I entered the kitchen, she was all, "What in the world are you wearing?"

I grinned at her, and sat gracefully in my usual seat. "Look at this as revenge for entering my room yesterday." I had replied to her coolly, taking a waffle from the pile Sakura made.

Sora looked angry, and for a moment I thought I got her, until she shrugged her lean shoulders and turned back to her food. "Whatever. Your friends will get my revenge for me." She said, and then stopped talking. I wondered what she meant. Surely my friends will like what I'm wearing. If they hate Hilary, they can't hate Kitty, right?

But, might I add, being Kitty hurts. These high heels are killing my feet like crazy. I probably have blisters from walking up the stairs. I have no idea how I'll survive the day. But, I know I have to. Everyone will realize that they love Hilary, and they would want her, with her imperfect characteristics, than Kitty anyway.

Oh, the bus is here. Man, I hope I don't miss the bus. I can't walk in these shoes.

Same day, nurse's office, about 2 pm

I'm a hit! Everyone acknowledged me! THEY NOW KNOW THAT THEY CAN"T MESS WITH ME!

I arrived at school a bit late today, because of these damned shoes. From the look of it, they're, like, 5 inches. They could be called a lethal weapon, if I was mad enough. Actually, to be precise, I was so late, even Tyson came to school before me. What is happening to me?

Anyway, when I walked into classroom, it was science class. Everyone was working hard (except for Tyson; he had a comic book hidden by his text book. What a loser) on their labs with their partners, and even Miss Kincaid looked calm. But, right when I walked in, chaos broke out. This, by the way, is what I wanted in the first place.

So, I walk in, and all eyes on me. Kenny practically choked on his own saliva, Kimiko and the others were staring at me with wide eyes, and when Tyson finally noticed me, I could basically see his bran trying to process this info, without any luck.

"H-h—Hilary, w-what the…" Tyson started, but lost his voice as soon as I put a hand up, to stop his blabbering.

"Don't call me Hilary." I said firmly, smiling lightly, "call me Kitty." Tyson still stared at me, with a shocked expression on his face. I didn't mind all the attention; it was their fault I turned this way. And, it wasn't all about the clothes. I picked up the attitude, too. I would be a rebellious chick, who listened to nobody and did whatever she wanted.

I took a seat in the back of the class, at one of the extra seats that nobody sat in. Yeah, I know, my seat is in the exact front beside Kimiko, but a) I didn't want to sit beside her, and b) only Hilary sat in the front, like the teacher's pet she was. I didn't want to be Hilary, the girl nobody notices, the boring, average girl. I was now Kitty, hot, fun, and totally rebellious.

"Uh, Hilary, err, I mean, Kitty. That isn't your seat." Said Miss Kincaid, with her sweet and loathsome voice. Hilary once admired that feminine sound, but now, to Kitty, it shows how disgusting and fake our world was. Full of fake people. And I was one of them. Was being the key word.

I shrugged my shoulders, and made a snort sound. "Doesn't matter, Kincaid." I said, removing my painful shoes off my feet. Now that I think about it, it was pretty rude of me. Miss Kincaid was actually pretty shocked and downright scared at my rudeness. Yeah, I'm not Hilary anymore, but that doesn't mean I have to be disrespectful to my teacher.

Miss Kincaid muttered, "Please finish your assignment, children." before scurrying out of the classroom like a scared, little mouse. I felt a bit proud at that moment; Tyson had always said I was predictable, and look at me now! I doubt he could ever predict that I would scare a teacher out of classroom.

"Hilary, what do you think you're doing?" Tyson asked me, from his seat across the room from me. God, why doesn't he mind his own business?

"It's Kitty," I corrected him, "and, I'm doing what I want to do."

The class ooooooohed us on, urging us to argue. Too bad they don't know that Kitty doesn't argue; she debates. There is a big difference, you know. Plus, the new me doesn't get angry like Hilary. She calms herself, and makes sure nobody-I mean, nobody-gets under her skin.

Tyson rolled his eyes at me, and I could sense his anger coming on. "Hil, don't kid yourself. You're always gonna be you, so live with it." He said. I shrugged my shoulders, and indicating that this discussion was over. I was about to reply, however, until a mysterious figure entered the door (without knocking, I might add. How rude), making us all silent as night.

"Hello, class." Said the mysterious person, who, by the sound of his voice, was male. "I am your new substitute teacher, Mr. Benson. Please, take your seats." Mr. Benson was kind of gruff, but in a gentle way. He talked calmly, but firmly, with a young looking face and tanned skin. He looked about 23, near Jessie's age.

All right, a substitute teacher! Kitty loves to torment substitutes, because they have no idea what they are doing. We can tell them that we have to go play outside for 'research' and I bet they would fall for it. What a great day!

"Miss Kincaid says that I have one child to watch out for. Care to tell me who that is." Asked Mr. Benson, looking us all over. The class all said "Tyson", and he blinked confusedly, adding a "What?" to the atmosphere.

Mr. Benson shook his head. "No, I didn't get a mention of any Tyson. She said it was a Hilary, Hilary something or other." The class all pointed at me, and I in turn, said a "What?"

The teacher smiled at me nicely, and I already got the feeling that I was in trouble. Or, at least, going to be in trouble. "Ah, yes. Miss Hilary Tatibana, could you please come up to the front?" he asked me, in his annoying gentle, but firm and low voice. It really got me mad, because it reminded me of Sora; unreadable on the outside, unreadable in the inside.

Shaking away my nerves, I walked to the front of the classroom, still barefoot. My feet were red and kind of swollen, and it hurt to walk, but I made it. Standing in front of the blackboard, I awaited Mr. Benson. What did he want, anyway?

"Now, Hilary," he started, walking in front of me and shielding me from the others' gazes, "what seems to be the-wait, where are your shoes?"

I pointed to the back, where I was previously located. "My feet hurt. High heels are lethal, did you know that?"

Mr. Benson chuckled, before getting on. "What's wrong? I've heard many things about you; a smart, polite girl. What happened to that girl, Hilary?" he asked me. I decided it was better not to tell him about Kitty, since he would give me a whole psychiatrist thing.

But, someone in the class yelled out, "Her name isn't Hilary! It's Kitty!" I groaned inwardly, slapping my hand to me forehead disgustedly. What big mouths!

Instead of the reaction I was expecting though, Mr. Benson smiled at me. "Kitty; what a nice name. But, what's wrong with Hilary?" he questioned me. Only everything, I said in my head. Hilary is a girl who nobody appreciates and who everyone thinks is a useless waste of mass.

But, what came out of my mouth was simply, "Whatever." I didn't need to explain myself to a substitute teacher, much less anybody. Besides, nobody else cares, so why should I even bother?

Mr. Benson's face became stern for a moment, before turning back to their disgustingly pleasant expression. "Hilary, my dear, we need to talk. After school, come to my office on the third floor. For now though, your feet are really bad. I will give you a permission slip so you can see the school nurse. Now, go!"

So, here I am, my feet in bandages. The nurse said that my feet are going to be sore for a while, and I might have trouble walking. Whatever though. Kitty can manage anything.

Oh, gotta go. The nurse says I can go back to class now. Great.

Same day, my room, 7:30 pm

Who does Mr. Benson think he is anyway? Some sort of shrink? Well, Kitty doesn't appreciate anybody interfering into her business. Nobody!

Well, that's what I thought, anyway. Before I talked to him. Now, I actually don't know what to think.

After school, I went up to the third floor to see Mr. Benson. The third floor was an unknown for students; no student is allowed up there, unless they have permission from a teacher. Tyson had warned me not to go, and that there might be monsters or evil guys with pepper spray there, but I ignored his warning and went up. Hilary might have been scared, but Kitty isn't. Not even close to fear.

So, I went up to his office, and found his classroom, no problem. It wasn't hidden or anything. In fact, the third floor was actually…pretty. It was kind of charming, actually. It wasn't dark or dim or evil, no, nothing like that.

Anyway, I walked into his office, and he smiled radiantly at me. "Why, hello, Kitty. I wasn't sure you'd come, but I'm glad you did." He said happily, sitting at his desk.

I blinked at him. He called me Kitty? Is he actually taking this seriously? I sat down on the chair in silence, and let myself get comfortable. I had a feeling that I'd be here for a while.

"Now, I was reading through your files, and you seem like a perfect student. Can you tell me what happened?" he asked, pointing at my clothes.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Why should you care? Nobody else does." I had replied to him. It was true. My own dad didn't even say anything about how I was dressed! I mean, is he the father or am I? Seriously, it is an important question.

"So, all this is an attention act?" he asked me, curiously evident in his voice.

"No. Look, are you my psychiatrist or something?" I asked stubbornly, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly. He chuckled at my stubbornness, and we sat in silence for a while.

Until, he said suddenly, "Tell me about your family."

And, I ended up telling him everything. How Sakura is like a mother to me, whenever I don't have one. How Eric is always there to lend me an ear to vent to. How Sora is so cool, making me want to be her, yet so cool as for me to kind of hate her. How my dad secretly made a promise to Tyson's dad to get us engaged.

After that explosion, I felt kind of relieved. I mean, with my friends hating on me, I had nobody to talk to anymore. It was like I had bottled everything up, and I finally felt…

Well, I felt free.

At the end of our session, I had basically told Mr. Benson about everything about me; about my life, my hopes and dreams, everything.

But, Mr. Benson said something very important to me. Something that touched me right in my heart. After I said good bye, he said "You just opened up to me. As Hilary, not Kitty. You told me Hilary's hopes and dreams, and you didn't even mention this Kitty. Always be yourself, Hilary. Always." He said, before I left.

As I walked out of the school, the sun was setting, making the sky an orange color. Mr. Benson's words still ran through my head. I never once told him about Kitty. I never mentioned how cool she was, or how loved she was. I gripped my school bag sadly as a thought ran through my mind. Maybe I'm not meant to be loved. Maybe I'm not meant to be like Kitty at all…

"Hilary?" I voice said, taking me out of my own thoughts. Tyson was standing before me, looking a bit…well, cute, with the orange horizon behind him. He looked at me like something happened to me. He looked at me with a worried expression.

"Hil, what's happening to you? Are you ok?" he asked me. I ran over to him, and smiled upwards to him.

And, do you know what I said? After all this, after the fights I had with my friends, my family, my team mates, you know what I said?

"Yeah, Tyson. I'm just fine."