Ryan never thought he'd say this but he was really looking forward to therapy. Or maybe he should say that he was really looking forward to seeing Marissa. There was something about her that made him drawn to her and he knew after his dinner with her the other day that it wasn't because he could talk to her about his feelings, it was something else. He felt connected to her in some weird way and he was beginning to think that he had the tiniest amount of feelings for her. He knew that it was odd that he had feelings for his therapist…but he couldn't be the first guy right? Surely there was someone out there that had feelings like this for their shrink.

He walked into the therapist office and took his seat across from her chair. She was looking down at some papers and didn't even glance up at him. He was sure she would look at him though, that she had some type of interest for him too. "How have you been?" She asked.

He smiled and said, "I've been alright I guess. You really helped me out the other day you know. I've been doing a little better since then."

"Depression hasn't hit yet?" She asked, finally glancing up at him.

"No, I'm thinking maybe it won't." He said hopefully.

She shook her head and said, "Are you over them yet?"

He shrugged and then sighed. After a while he said, "No."

She looked at him and then looked down at her papers and said, "Then it's going to hit sooner or later."

He felt his mood slowly decline. "When do you think it's going to hit?"

She shrugged and said, "You can never predict those things." She looked up from her papers and set them aside. "So, what are you up to?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean, what plans do you have? Any events you're going to or whatever?" She shrugged and said, "We always talk about your past or what you've done when you're sad or angry, we never talk about the normal things you do."

He thought about it and then said, "I really don't have any kind of normal things I do anymore."

"I thought you went to all those formal events?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No, I used to before…" He trailed off.

She nodded in understanding and then said, "Well maybe you should go to one sooner or later you know. It might help with the grieving process."

"Well I think there's a party soon." He said, trying to remember. "Everyone's invited."

"Well you should go to that then." She said with a smile.

"I don't know…" he said, not really liking the idea of going to one of the parties.

"Well, when you're ready at least." She said with a shrug. "As I said, it may help you."

He nodded and said, "Yeah I guess."

She crossed her legs and said, "So you haven't been up to anything since dinner the other day?"

He felt a smile come and said, "No, not at all."

She watched him curiously and then asked, "Why are you smiling?"

He shrugged and tried to stop but couldn't really do so. "I guess…I liked our dinner the other day."

She seemed to get uncomfortable and said, "I don't think we should talk about this."

"What do you mean? We ate dinner…it's not like we went on a date or anything." He said, thinking of how it might be fun to go on a date with her.

"Ryan, I mean it, let's not talk about dinner."

He sighed and his smile faded. "I liked dinner the other day because I finally felt normal." He said, revealing a part of what he'd liked about dinner. He left out the part about liking to be around her though. He somehow knew that it wouldn't go over well. "I've been eating all my meals alone…it was nice to have someone there with me."

She nodded and then changed the subject, not revealing if she liked the dinner or not. "So how's work going for you?"

"Good I guess. It's a distraction." He felt himself get sad all over again.

"A distraction from what?" She asked, pressing him further.

"From missing them." He said softly.

She let him have a little moment of silence and then said, "But other than that, no more breakdowns?"

He shook his head and said, "Nope, not yet."

"Well let's try to keep it that way huh?" She asked with a smile.

He smiled back and said, "I'll do my best." He was quiet for a minute and then said, "How are you doing?"

She seemed taken aback by the question. "What do you mean?"

"With the whole anniversary thing…" He started, but was cut off.

"I don't want to talk about it." She stated firmly.

"Well you're always telling me to talk." He pressed.

"Yeah, but I'm your therapist, I'm paid to make you talk." She said with a sigh. She looked down and said, "Thanks for the concern, but I don't think it's right to talk about me right now."

"Not everything is about me." He said.

"Yeah, when we're in here it is." She said, looking at him, telling him with her eyes that the topic was closed.

"Okay." He said, not knowing why she was making such a big deal about this. "Well what do we talk about now then?"

"Well…is there anything…besides me…that you want to talk about?" She asked, leaning back in her chair.

He leaned back in his own seat and then said, "Hmm…I don't really know."

"There has to be something." She said. When he didn't say anything she said, "Okay, I want you to close your eyes and tell me the first thing that comes to your mind."

He closed his eyes as she said, but all that came to mind was her sitting with him at dinner. He shook that thought and all other thoughts of her and let his mind wander. Suddenly, he was there that night again. He was walking in with Luke….

He walked up to the Cohens and Kirsten hugged him tightly. "I'm glad you two could make it." She said, smiling warmly at Luke and him. They smiled back and she turned to Ryan. "Seth's been looking for you. He wanted to tell you something…"

"Oh, okay, I'll find him." He said, starting to walk off. He stopped and looked around and said, "Great party by the way. You can always throw a great one."

She smiled at him and said, "Remember your first?"

He nodded and thought back to his first party all those years ago, back to when he was sixteen and lost and scared in this world. "Yeah." He said softly, looking away. It still amazed him sometimes how Kirsten and Sandy would just let him into their home like that. He wouldn't be here today without them and he loved them for it.

He opened his eyes and saw Marissa staring at him. This was something he hadn't remembered before and for the first time he saw full images and not just blurred pictures. He wondered how long until he would see everything. Marissa was the first to break the silence. "Did you remember something?"

He nodded and said, "The beginning of the evening…very beginning."

She nodded and said, "You're getting closer."

He sighed and looked down. "Yeah, I guess I am."

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Marissa didn't believe in relationships with clients. She'd told herself that many times before but she never really wanted to have any sort of relationship with a client. Now though with Ryan, things were beginning to change. She didn't know why she allowed that dinner with him the other day. She couldn't understand why she would go against everything she'd ever said to herself and allow him to eat dinner with her….it just wasn't professional. And then she couldn't believe of all things that she told him about her father and sister's deaths. It was completely wrong to do and now she regretted it.

Now she was beginning to like talking to him. That was wrong right there also and she knew it. So when Ryan left her office, she went to her desk and put her head in her hands and sighed as long and loud as she could, trying to get rid of her frustrations with herself. That's when she heard the knock at her door. She looked up to see Detective Harper at her door. "Detective Harper." She said.

He walked in and asked, "Hard day?"

"Hard week." She murmured.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." She said, not wanting to show that she was upset.

"Oh, okay." He said. He was quiet and then he said, "So does Atwood remember anymore from the shootings?"

"First of all, his name is Ryan Atwood, not just Atwood." She said, not liking that the detective said the name like it was a thing instead of a person. "And secondly, no, he doesn't."

He sighed and said, "He really needs to remember. I have my boss bugging me about it…"

"And he's being forced to remember probably something worse than me and you have gone through together." She said upset. She lowered her voice and said, "His family died."

"I know that." He said.

"Do you know what it's like though? He was there when his family died, saw them get shot right in front of his eyes. The least you could do is let him remember it on his own time." She said defensively.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

He looked at her and then said, "You've never been this involved before." He turned and started walking towards the door. When he reached it he turned around and said, "Don't let this guy get to you." Then he left.

She sighed and put her head in her hands again. "I think he already has." She whispered to herself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Seth, Kirsten said you wanted me?" Ryan asked his adoptive brother.

Seth turned around and smiled. "hey man, I feel like I don't see you anymore."

He rolled his eyes and said, "We just saw each other yesterday for lunch remember?"

Seth nodded and said, "Ah, right, I forgot about that."

"So what'd you want me for?" Ryan asked, trying not to smile at Seth.

"I have big news." Seth said with a large grin.

"What, you write another comic book?"

"No, I have a girlfriend." Seth said with a nod of his head. "A real life breathing girlfriend."

"Oh, really?" He asked with a large smile. "Prove it."

Seth turned to his side and there Ryan saw a girl with short blonde hair. "Hi, I'm Anna Stern." She said, extending a hand.

Ryan noticed that she was good looking and smiled. "Ryan Atwood."

Seth looked from his girlfriend to his brother and said, "Ha, told you so."

Ryan opened his eyes. The memories were coming more freely now and clearer than ever. He sighed and looked at Marissa. It was another therapy day, not that he was complaining. "Anna Stern was Seth's girlfriend."

"Anna Stern?" Marissa asked with her eyebrows furrowed together. "Hmm, interesting."

"Do you know her?"

"No, but I think my friend Summer used to." She shrugged and said, "I'm not too sure."

Today he'd decided that he'd go to the event tonight. He'd figured as Marissa said that it would good for him to go to it and help him move on. He was a little worried about going alone though. That's why he wanted to ask Marissa to it. He knew that it probably didn't sound very appealing, but maybe he was appealing enough for Marissa to want to go. He remembered what Marissa said and then replied, "Well I didn't know her too well…obviously."

She nodded and said, "Well, therapy is over for today."

Neither made a move to get up, just watched the other. After a while he finally got up and started to go, but hesitated at the door. Marissa watched him, clearly amused with his hesitance. "So I'm going to that party tonight." He stated.

She smiled and said, "That's good that you're trying to move on."

He nodded and said, "Yeah." He stood there a little while, trying to gain the courage to ask her. He finally decided to just do it. "Well I was thinking maybe you can come with me…" he saw the shock on her face and didn't know if it was good shock or bad so he just kept talking. "I mean, it could be fun maybe if we make it and we can both make fun of the other people there that are dressed like they're in a fashion show.."

"Ryan." She said, cutting him off from his rambling. "I don't know how professional it would be for me to go with you.." she looked away from him so she wouldn't see his reaction.

He felt his hopes grinding to a halt and crashing. "I….well what was dinner the other day?"

"A mistake." She said, still refusing to look at him so he wouldn't see the emotions on her face.

"Oh."

"And I was supposed to meet up with my friend tonight…" She said. "I'm sure there's someone else you'd rather go with…"

He shook his head and in a small, quiet voice said, "I wanted you." He shook his head once more and stood up straighter. "Well it probably won't be any fun anyways. I could probably go on my own for a little while and then just leave." He started heading for the door when he heard a voice.

"I'm sorry." Marissa said softly. "If things were different…"

He didn't turn around and said, "Thanks anyways," and walked off as quickly as he could.

Marissa meanwhile once again sighed and put her head in her hands, wondering how she could fix this.