Chapter 18: Knowing You, Part 2

Same day, same place, 3 pm

I've been sitting here since I read my mom's old diary. This is so weird. Here I am, writing in a diary, in the exact place my mom was writing hers. Why didn't she ever tell me she got an arranged marriage? Why didn't Dad tell me? Did Sakura know about this at all? She was the one who gave me the diary after all.

Oh god. This is all so confusing. Listen to this: (well, you can't listen, let me write this. Oh wait, you don't have a say in the matter):

I can't believe it! Katsuro finally asked me out! This is technically incorrect, since we're engaged, but he told me he didn't want Mayo at all, and I was the only one! Okay, so he didn't say those three words that I was dying to hear, but we're getting there. And to think I wasn't about to wear that silk red dress Tamara lent me!

Why does everything have to end to bad? I caught Katsuro being kissed by some girl at Mayo's party! And he didn't even pull away! I guess a flirt's always going to be a flirt. Should I say anything? I don't want this to end, but I won't be happy knowing some girl kissed the lips I love to kiss…

I closed the book, stuffing it into my suitcase. I could read it later. And, maybe I could learn how to make Tyson start liking me again. I mean, he can't still like me after that blow up at the hospital. He probably already ended the engagement by now.

Maybe I should go back home now. I do have school on Monday, and I was excused from school for the competition. I wonder how behind I am in my studies. I wouldn't be behind if it wasn't for Tyson and Ben suddenly starting to care. Tyson didn't have a rat's behind about me before, and Ben left me when I needed him the most. I have nothing to say and/or apologize for.

Suddenly, my eye caught the silk red dress in the closet. It was sparkly, tight fitting, and very Kitty like. Maybe I should bring her back soon…

"Hilary! Door!" Tamara called from downstairs. What?? Who the heck would be here for me? Who would know where I am????????

Same day, my real room, 9 pm

I know you know who was at the door. It's the most obvious thing ever. So naturally, you know I didn't bat an eye when I saw Ben at the door.

Nah, just kidding. I did bat an eye. I actually did a whole double take, seriously. I couldn't even speak. How did he find me?

"Wha-what-wha…?" I had spitted out, stuttering like no tomorrow.

He chuckled. "Who was the one who found you when you ran here when I was about to move?" he said quietly, looking so intently at me.

Oh, yeah. I forgot that little flaw.

Then, I felt mad. Why the hell would be come after me now? Wasn't he supposed to be in the hospital being treated?

"Leave me alone." I said bitterly, crossing my arms around my chest. I went away to be alone, didn't he see that?

He looked sad for a bit, and then his expression turned unreadable. "Let's go out for dinner." He said randomly, taking out dinner reservations at the nearest Japanese restaurant.

"You come all this way to invite me to dinner?" I asked, with an angry tone in my voice. I couldn't believe how dumb he was being. Didn't he know I was angry? That I didn't want to see anybody right now?

He shook his head. "We can talk about this at dinner, ok? I'll pick you up at 6, so you can do your makeup thing and whatever else." He smiled at the inside joke. He knew I didn't wear makeup.

He was about to leave, but I called out to him. He looked back, but I didn't know what to say. So I looked away from his gaze. It was like he was reading my mind, because he nodded and went back in his car. I waved at Charleston, and held my dad's loose sweater closer to me. I suddenly felt cold.

So I go in, run back to my mom's room, flop on the bed and start to scream into the pillow. Until I remembered the red dress. I could wear the red dress to dinner, and tell Ben everything. After all, don't nice clothes make people feel better? No, that's really shallow of me. I don't clothes could make me feel better at all.

Anyways, I take a long hot bubble bath, using only green apple bubbles, and made myself forget my troubles. People do have it worse, you know. Some people don't even have limbs, or hands, or feet, or families. I have Eric, and my dad, and my sisters, even if I don't have a mom. I need to get my mind off everything now and focus on cutting clean ties with Ben.

After my bath, I make my hair all shiny and nice using some cream stuff, then put on the red silk dress. And it's so beautiful. I don't mean to bye self absorbed, but it had a nice contrast with my hair. Plus, it wasn't as tight as I thought it would be. I might actually take this home with me…

Fast forwarding to when Ben had picked me up at 6, like he said he would, we took off to the restaurant, after he claimed to need the bathroom. I wasn't planning on talking to him much, seeing as though I was angry, even though I wasn't. I mean, he can't expect me to be perfectly fine with him ditching me? And when I was getting my head cleared, he suddenly shows up. Do you see the irony? I need him and he leaves; he needs me and I leave.

"Hilary," he said in the car, "you can't be mad at me forever."

I scoffed. "Yeah, I can." I chuckled.

"I don't have forever, remember?"

I stopped.

"Why are you so mad at me?" he asked, his face etched with sadness. "I thought girls like to be all dressed up and go out for a nice romantic dinner." I rolled my eyes. He knew I wasn't like most girls. I hated the itchy feeling of the dress.

"A girl doesn't need a reason to be angry. It's one of our rights."

"Ah, I see. So what are my rights?"

"You have the right to be quiet."

That shut him up completely. And for once, the silence was so thick I could hardly breathe. What was up with them anyways? Before, our silences were full of little smiles and romantic stares. I guess it shows how much we've changed.

Charleston pulled up in front of Matsuro's restaurant, and I realized it was one of the many restaurants his dad owned. Maybe that's why I was attracted to Ben; he was rich but humble. It was inhuman, but I loved it.

So we go in, sit down and we chat for a bit. The usual how's life thing, and me getting all angry.

Then, suddenly, Ben came out with, "You need to go back."

I blinked. "Why would you say that?"

Ben smiled. "Because a certain person is looking for you, and he's worried sick." I wasn't stupid. I know who he was talking about. It's the thought of him being sick with worry that made me blink in a confused way.

Ben elaborated. "Um…I'm talking about Tyson." He said, smiling when the waiter places salads, soups and breads in front of us. I smile too, but it was kind of forced. I wasn't in the mood to smile now.

"I know that. Why would he be worried if he was yelling at me a while back?" I asked him, crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly.

"Just because he yelled at you doesn't mean he wants you to run away." He said, smiling slightly.

"Isn't that what you did to me?"

Silence.

I gaped at him. "Why did you really come to see me?" I asked, my eyes widening. I didn't have to ask, I knew what he was going to say.

He fidgeted with his hands. "Hil, you know my condition's getting worse," he said, not staring at me, "and if I don't get treated soon, I'm going to die really soon." He sighed. "Really, really soon." I gulped. I knew this was gonna happen. I knew what he wanted to do.

I didn't say anything though. "Isn't it best for me to leave before I actually leave? That way, you'll have longer to forget me. I'm dying and you can't change that, even if you hate me." He gulped.

I stood up. I grabbed my coat and walked calmly out, blinking back tears. I didn't need this anymore; if he wanted to leave and he didn't need to tell me. We weren't going out anymore, so I don't need to know.

I heard his heavy stride behind me. "Hil, come on! We can't live like this!" he called out to me. I was thinking about turning around and slapping him for being so stupid, but I dismissed that thought.

I did turn around though. "You don't need to tell me. You can do whatever you want, because it's not like you care about my feelings anyway." I exclaimed, staring at him angrily.

The silence was killing me on our way home. I knew that I was being a baby, but I couldn't help it. Why would he want to tell me this now, of all times? I had no idea what I needed anymore.

"Are you mad at me for the engagement?" I asked Ben suddenly. I didn't even know I had said that. It just came out, what the heck!

He shook his head. "I didn't expect it, but I knew you'd find someone else when I left." He replied, looking over at me.

I looked back. "I wouldn't be engaged if you never left." I retorted, imagining what would be different if he never went to Kyoto.

"You would have fallen for Tyson anyways." He said, smiling at me. I turned away and looked at the window, the cars whizzing by. I saw car a family of 4, smiling happy. I smiled, like I was part of that family too. It made me feel good that someone out there was having a good time and good life.

"Is Tyson really worried?" I whispered to myself, drawing his face on the window. His cap, his eyes, his smile; I loved it all. I can't believe I didn't notice it before. How dense am I?

Still staring out the window, I started to think about my mom. I wondered how she felt about being engaged to Dad. Did she feel as stressed and emotional as I do? Maybe I could ask Tamara, I thought as we approached the big house.

I was about to grab the handle, until I felt Ben hold my shoulder. And we went past the house. "Charleston, we past the house…" I said, my voice wavering. What was going on? Was I being kidnapped? Maybe Ben was going to take me to Egypt, marry me, rape me, and throw me in the Nile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I know," answered Ben, his façade not fading, "we're not going to the house."

I blinked. "Then where are we going?"

He smiled. "We're going home." And I know; I definitely know, that was so cheesy. Like, going home? What was he thinking?

But it fit with the circumstances. I knew where my home was. I knew where I belonged, even though I ran away from there in the first place.

Plus, I didn't do any of my homework.

This is how I ended back in my side of Tokyo, wearing a glam dress, coming out of a random limo. Ben dropped me off at Tyson's dojo, so I could talk to Tyson, but he wasn't home.

So I ended up running all over Tokyo looking for him, which was kind of hard. I was wearing high shoes (which I discarded somewhere), and a dress that was flapping everywhere in the wind, but I was determined. I looked at the arcade, mall, movies, and the bridge, but I couldn't find him.

Imagine my surprise, however, that when I go to the beach, I see Tyson beyblading. I'm being sarcastic by the way. I should have looked there first.

Anyways, there he was beyblading. He looked so majestic beyblading. Maybe it was because he was born to blade or something cheesy like that. But I was mesmerized by him; the way the sun was setting over top of his head, his concentration. I couldn't look away.

Next thing I knew, he turned around and his eyes widened. I don't know if he was surprised to see me, or shocked at what I was wearing, or whatever else, but he looked kind of…weird. He's never looked at me like that before, and it gives me shivers just thinking about it now.

We stared at each other a while, for a really long time, it felt like. I don't know why I didn't say anything; I had so much to say. I wanted to know if he had broken the engagement, and if he still liked me.

All of a sudden, there he was, right in front of me. I thought he had gotten a bit taller, because now my head was up to his collarbone. I looked up at him, and I was trapped. I couldn't move, couldn't even breathe. And I know that this was cheese insane, but it was true.

When he realized he was so close to me, he stumbled back clumsily. "W-what are you doing here?" he asked, blushing his face off.

I blinked. "Isn't this where I live?" I asked frankly, looking at him. I come all the way here for a romantic scene, not an interrogation!

Tyson narrowed his eyes at me. "So, now you decide to show up, when I- we were all looking for you!" he exclaimed, regaining his composure.

"Maybe it's because you wouldn't listen to what I wanted to say!" I retorted, anger rising in me. That's what I hated about him; why couldn't he say what I wanted to hear?

Tyson walked over to me (angrily BTW), and narrowed his eyes again. "Stop being so dramatic. You love Ben, and I can't change that, so I shouldn't even bother, right?"

I shook my head. "Wrong, Tyson. I don't love Ben. I don't want to be with him anymore. Doesn't our engagement mean anything to you?"

He laughed. "Does it mean anything to you?"

Silence.

"Did you miss me?"

Tyson looked down at me, his eyes full of admiration, which I think is a good sign. I smiled, and wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him.

"Course I missed you, Hil. You know I did." He said, patting my back jokingly. I released his waist and smacked him.

"Be serious for once." I laughed, until I thought of my mom's engagement. Would we end up like my parents?

Tyson looked down at me. "Thinking about Ben?" he asked, his voice hinting anger and bitterness.

"No. I just found out some things when I was away, that's all." I said, cheering up a bit.

After that, I guess nothing else happened. He walked me home, and I went and greeted everyone. Dad was pretty angry when I left, and I was grounded for two weeks, which was okay, because Dad was never home anyways. Sakura wouldn't mind if I went out; as long as I had a curfew. Sora asked me if I made any money or meet any cute guys, and when I said no she was uninterested again.

And that's my weekend. I still have some things to work out, but I'll figure them out sometime later. I'm hungry, must get junk food!