Chapter Eleven: Cowboy, Change Your Ways Today
Thane groaned as he woke up.
"One of these days," he vowed to the women who were kneeling over him. "One of these days I will remain conscious at the end of a fight."
"You remember this time?" Brazilla looked surprised. She felt surprised as well.
"Sort of. It's mostly you two being splattered with black blood and the fact that we are surrounded by slowly disappearing spider carcasses." He rubbed his forehead, which was sticky with the same black blood, and frowned. "I've heard rumors about Cash reclaiming its dead, but I never thought it happened this fast. Very strange."
The women looked at each other before standing. Erika, who had shed her jacket, went to retrieve it as Brazilla helped the big man stand.
He wiped his hands on his pants, leaving bloody handprints behind. "And if either of you two happens to see any ghost riders in the sky, give me a holler. That's supposed to be real bad."
Erika looked at him. "Men vi kan ikke se himmelen. It's all sort of obscured by clouds, not to mention trees."
"I'm just sayin', honey. If you hear that mournful cry…well, just you tell me. I don't feel like spending eternity chasing the devil's herd across lonely skies."
Erika looked at Brazilla and then back at Thane. "What're you on about?"
The big man shrugged and scratched at a spider bite on his arm before reaching into his perfectly organized bottomless pouch of endlessness and pulled out universal anti-venom that he immediately injected into his thigh. After a moment, he sighed.
"Okay, I feel better now."
Erika pulled her hood over her head and put on a pair of backless leather gloves. "You were looking a bit green there, cowboy." With her face in shadow and one thumb hooked in her belt, Erika suddenly looked menacing. The dissipated dark energy of the forest started to swirl around her and Thane found himself inexplicably drawn to the Viking woman. It was almost as if something was calling him home.
Brazilla watched his interest in the other woman grow—dangerously unaware of the dark energy Thane was drawn to—and discovered that deep down she was jealous of the attention Erika had been receiving since Dannon. Afraid the object of her heart had found someone else to lust after—be it true lust or not—Brazilla buried her jealousy and fear deep inside where even she could barely feel it. Those were emotions of the Dark Side and not for those who fought in the Light.
Swallowing, Brazilla watched Erika lift her arm and point deeper into the forest where there was only shadow, trees, and more than likely a whole lot of spiders.
"Vi skal gå på skyggeslanden, tror jeg," she said. "We need to go that way."
Not questioning her translation (which, if they had only known, wasn't even similar to what she had said in 'gibberish') Thane and Brazilla followed the youngest member of the party deeper into the Undergrowth. And though she hadn't been there when they had actually seen the Map on Dannon, she had suggested where they go to look and Brazilla was starting to wonder if she had some sort of connection with the thing. It was, of course, the only logical explanation since she was completely lost and that never (okay, occasionally) happened.
It was Thane, however, who had the sense to ask Erika where she was leading them.
"To the Map, of course. I'm just as curious about M4-7Brangelina as Garth is."
"But how do you know it's this way? I mean, I know about where we're going 'cause I've got this internal map thing but what do you have?"
Erika looked at him; the darkness that had surrounded her was now gone and in its place was the same bubbly girl that had been with them on the ship. She shrugged. "I just know."
"But how?" this time asked by Brazilla. She was beginning to distrust the girl, but had no good reason outside of jealousy.
"I have this uncanny sense of direction. A Force gift, I guess; I can't explain it."
"You'll need a better explanation than that," Brazilla said, not letting it go.
"I just know," Erika said again. "Though, the carving of a land clam with an arrow underneath it back at the battle grounds helped me focus my knowingness."
Thane chuckled and Erika gave him a brilliant smile. Brazilla frowned at the two of them and their little inside joke. It probably isn't even that funny, she thought.
"Why didn't you mention it? It could be a trap, you know."
Erika shook her head. "That's something else I'm good at, figuring out traps. The Force just sort of speaks to me; the Masters say I'm special. More special, in fact, than most other people. And by special I mean talented, not…special." She furrowed her brow. "Besides, had I mentioned it, I wouldn't have seemed mysterious and all knowing when I pointed in the direction we're currently traveling. It's something I've been working on."
"I think you've got it down," said Thane.
"Why thank you. I've spent more hours than I would like to admit working on it."
"Practice makes perfect."
"Ja, I always thought so."
Brazilla cleared her throat and Erika looked back at her, saying, "We really are going in the right direction. And if you don't believe me, we can stop at the house on the other side of this ridge and ask whoever lives there if we're going the right way."
The other woman cocked a brow. "I'm not going to ask."
"Oh, this time it's not mysterious." Erika pointed at a steady rise of smoke. "I would guess a wood burning stove or inglenook. And that comes from my Viking heritage, not my Jedi training. We just sort of instinctively know what we might be dealing with by the shape, colour, and quantity of smoke. It comes in handy when planning a raid…"
Brazilla shook her head. The more time she spent with this girl, the more convinced she was that Erika was toeing the line of insanity. Maybe she and Thane would be happy together in their little chaotic life, so long as they didn't breed a crew of insane Sith-Viking babies. There would be no stopping them then.
Suddenly aware that both Thane and Erika were staring at her, Brazilla scowled and started up the side of the ridge. They exchanged glances behind the woman's back before following.
--
It took about fifteen minutes to climb the ridge, sixteen seconds to realize there was a cliff on the other side, and seventeen more minutes to decide how to proceed. Getting back on level ground wasn't the issue here—they were three highly trained Jedi Knights, after all, who had recently descended two-hundred feet to the forest floor, so eighteen feet of sheer rock was nothing to break a sweat over. What they couldn't agree on, however, was how to go about asking for directions. Erika and Thane figured that going up to the door, knocking, and politely asking which way they should go was a good plan. Brazilla wasn't so sure.
"Considering this person lives on the forest floor where no one else lives could very well be testament to them not wanting to be bothered. Ever."
Thane shrugged. "I guess, but it's not like we're going up to his door dressed as wolves and asking to take a quick nap in his bed and a bite to eat."
"What? That's ludicrous."
"Which is exactly why we're not doing it," Thane pointed out.
"Riding hoods are friendly," Erika said. "Especially red ones."
Thane pointed at her next. "I like it. Only problem: I forgot my little red riding hood back on the Pigeon."
"This is ridiculous," Brazilla said.
Erika and Thane regarded her, the former saying, "You're ridiculous. Honestly. How else are we going to ask him for directions?"
"Have you considered that he might be a murderous madman?"
"He could be," came a forth voice from behind them. The Jedi jumped right out of their respective skins and back into them before turning around. The man in black was almost the same colour as the shadow he was in, except for his hair, which was a shock of white. "But he's not."
"Er…" Erika.
"Um…" Thane.
"How would you know that?" Brazilla. The sensible one.
The man shrugged. "Because I'm him. Haven't ever really murdered anyone."
"That's a big qualifier you're using there, sir," Thane said.
"Killing Mandies after a long drawn-out battle don't count as murdering, far as I see it," he said.
The three Jedi looked at each other.
"So what are you younglings doing in my neck of the woods? You wouldn't be looking for the Map of Star's Homes, now would you? Or have you already found it and think you got lucky here on this planet having found a couple of particularly shiny stars? 'Cause I ain't them."
"You were right, 'Zilla," Thane whispered. "He is insane."
"Not insane, boy, angry and bothered. But your pieces tell me you're one of my own, unless paparazzi have started carrying around lightsabers." He didn't offer a hand. "Jolie Pitt. Mine before theirs."
Erika looked him up and down. Despite the white hair and wrinkles, he didn't stand like an old man. His hands were sinewy and his fingers were strong, signs, apparently, of great strength that age should have taken away. "Oh, you're that Jedi."
"What'd you say, girl? Are they already talking about me in history lessons?"
"You're the one who fell in love with a Queen years older than you and then secretly married her even though it's forbidden for us to do so, aren't you."
"My wife was a smuggler."
"Oh," Erika said. "That other guy must have been from premonition lessons…"
The others looked at her. She looked back and put another piece of gum in her mouth before shoving her hands deep into the pockets of her jacket. "They probably talked about you, but I didn't pay much attention to the moral lessons they tried to teach us, especially when they were sneaky about it."
Jolie seemed pleased. "I'm a moral lesson, eh? I figured the moment I renounced my Knighthood they would turn me into some pied piper who would lead all the kiddies away from the Temples to a life of sin and wedded bliss." He snorted and then looked around. "Let's relocate to my kitchen. There's a crazy Wookie in these parts I can't seem to shake. I gave him food once and now he thinks I'm both his best friend and his meal ticket. I even picked up my entire house a few months back and moved to a different part of the forest, but he managed to find me. Damn dogs…"
Jolie grumbled the entire jump down to his house, through his front hall, living/dining room and into a kitchen that was more like an inglenook where a teapot was whistling angrily at him. "Dark side fiend," he muttered at the offending object as he moved it off the fire.
Thane looked around. "I was imagining that you lived under a log, for some reason."
"There's a log up over the roof," the old man said, pouring out tea for himself and no one else. "But I don't think that's what you were thinking of."
"No, not exactly," Thane said.
That uncomfortable silence of sitting in a new girlfriend's house with her parents fell over the company until Jolie said, "So, you young whipper-snappers were going to ask me about something having to do with the location of the Map?"
"Yeah," Erika said, sitting back in a deep couch, her hands still in her jacket pockets. She crossed her skinny legs and gave her gum a couple of good chews. "Where is it?"
Jolie lifted his brow. "Very succinct."
Erika lifted her shoulders. "I can be. So do you know?"
"You were headed straight for it until you detoured into my house."
Erika pointed at Brazilla in a very un-Jedi like manner. "Ha! What'd I tell you? I was right and you were wrong."
Quite frankly, both Brazilla and Thane expected Erika to get up and do a victory dance, but her Jedi training restrained her from doing so. The girl ran her mouth like no other properly trained Jedi would, but she was well trained enough to not make such a lewd display of herself, most of the time. Thane had seen it happen once back on the Pigeon and was disappointed when she held herself back. He did, however, catch a wink sent across the room to him. Jolie, having witnessed the exchange, muttered something about bed-hopping youngsters and how no one has any respect for the elderly by bringing it up right here in his living room. No respect. Bah.
After the awkward silence persisted for another minute, Thane cleared his throat and stood up. "We should probably get going. Places to go, maps to see. Thanks for inviting us in and for confirming what Erika already knew."
Jolie frowned. "My pleasure, but, if you wouldn't mind…"
Thane nodded, though it came reluctantly. "As soon as we find the Map we'll swing by and pick you up. It'll be nice having another Jedi around. Someone to keep Erika in line. I'm sure you have some old war stories to lull her to sleep with. She's a firecracker, that one."
"But that's what I've got you for, lover," Erika said, not keeping in mind their company. Or, rather, that they were currently company. Jolie bah'd and gave her a dismissive wave.
"Youth," he grumbled. Brazilla was positively fuming, though not kindly so. Erika didn't seem to care as she stood up, thanked Jolie and started to walk out of the cabin. Thane followed after her and Brazilla took a little longer, apologizing.
"Y'all probably shouldn't leave," Jolie said, waiting until the very last minute to say so. Erika and Thane were, in fact, already on the far side of the door. Only Thane turned around.
"Why not?"
"Night's coming."
"I'm not afraid of the dark," Thane said even as he crossed back into Jolie's house.
"Me neither," Erika said, following. "I even watched the show when the Masters said I shouldn't. Only the clowns frightened me."
"You too?" Thane asked. Erika nodded, her eyes wide with fear even now, and highed Thane's proffered five to show camaraderie on the fact. That turned into a handshake, then a fist bump, and finished with Thane tweaking Erika's chin. The girl tilted her head into it, smiling the whole time. Brazilla rolled her eyes and joined in Jolie's complaint about youth even though she was barely two years Erika's elder and a decade Thane's junior. Jolie gave her a withering sidelong glance.
"Anyway," Thane said, his arm draped over Erika's shoulders, "what were you saying about not going outside?"
"I mentioned the mad Wookie?" The other's nodded. "In that case, the big spiders show up at dusk, the quicksand finds its way underfoot, and there is no way to see that won't attract attention."
"We're young. And Jedi," Erika said. "We can handle ourselves."
Jolie frowned. "Just don't come crawling back to me when you're dead. Oh wait."
The three young Jedi looked at each other and then at Jolie. No words were exchanged between them, only a couple of shrugs. It was Thane who spoke for the group.
"So what kind of accommodations do you have?"
A/N: "Ghost Riders in the Sky" was written by Stan Jones (I know the Johnny Cash version best, though, hence the reference); Pink Floyd's "Obscured by Clouds" shows up again; and there is a bunch of fairytale public domain stuff.
Oh, and in case you're curious, "ja" is pronounced "ya". Just think of a stereotypical Swede and you're about there. The languages (Danish, which is used here, and Swedish) are fairly similar.