Chapter Three: Grief

Grief. Keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. Every human being has grieved for something at some point in time. Grieving is a natural part of life. William Turner learned what it was like to truly grieve after his love died. It was worse than he could have ever imagined.

Will Turner was sitting at the bow of the ship, holding Elizabeth's body in his arms. The crew could not get him to speak, to move, or to let go of her body. It was as if William Turner the second simply did not exist anymore. He stared down at Elizabeth's cold, still face. It had only been an hour, but it seemed like an eternity since he had last seen her eyes. To Will, it felt as if he was cut off from the world. It felt like all warmth had left his life the moment Elizabeth's eyes closed and her hand fell from his face.

He had no idea what had happened after Elizabeth died. He did not know how the crew of the Black Pearl managed to drive off the Singaporean pirates. All he had known was the crushing, drowning pain of holding Elizabeth in his arms and knowing that she was dead. That he would never feel the warmth that her smile or her touch brought him ever again. After the Pirate Lord and his crew left, Will had wordlessly drawn Elizabeth into his arms and moved to the bow of the ship to get away from the piteous gazes. He did not want to be pitied. He wanted Elizabeth. He wanted Elizabeth back! That was all he wanted, but he knew it would never come. Elizabeth was gone. She was lost to him.

As he held her in his arms and let his hand trace her cold, ashen cheek, he was struck with memories of his Elizabeth.

Will was working in the forge, working on an order for a businessman on the other side of the island. It had been three weeks since what he had come to refer to as "the Jack Sparrow incident." He and Elizabeth had been formally courting since then. If he was to be completely truthful, he would say that it was driving him insane. He was forced to remain at arm's distance from her, something he hated more than anything. He had been forced to keep her at arm's distance since meeting her. Now that they were together, he should be allowed to keep her close to him. Yet, she was still denied to him. Although, he would do whatever it takes to prove to the Governor that he could be Elizabeth's husband. That he could support and care for her and give her the best life he possibly could. He had spent eight years pining after her, wishing for the day that he could tell her he loved her. That he could hold her in his arms. He had finally reached that day. If he had to wait a bit longer to be able to do it in the eyes of the public, then so be it.

Suddenly, Will was broken from his thoughts when someone entered the smithy. He looked up and saw a slender figure enter the shop. The person wore a simple pair of breeches and boots along with a white shirt and brown vest. A broad hat shielded the person's face from view. Will turned back to the sword he was working on and spoke to the person.

"What can I do for you?" he called out over the clanging that his hammer made on the molten steel.

"Well, Mister Turner, what can you do for me?" Will looked up in surprise, recognizing Elizabeth's teasing voice. She was grinning at him and strode over, placing a soft kiss on his mouth.

"Elizabeth... what are you doing here?" Will asked, setting aside the sword and wiping his hands on his pants before putting his arm around her, guiding them to sit on a stone by the hearth. His heart soared when she smiled up at him brightly.

"I wanted to see you." she said simply. "I wanted to truly be able to see you and not have to conform to the ridiculous rules of society." she said, making a face when speaking of the same rules he had been cursing minutes before.

"Let me guess: your father knows not of your visit." Will said, a teasing tone in his voice as he smiled down at her as she removed the wide-brimmed hat from her head, allowing her dark blonde locks freedom.

"Why of course not, Will, are you mad? If he did, he would most likely have sent Estrella to 'look after me.' That would have defeated the purpose of the visit. No, I told Estrella to tell Father that I was sick and did not wish to be bothered by anyone in the course of the day." she told him before leaning up to kiss him once more. He allowed his free hand to come up to her neck, losing himself in her kiss. He buried his hand in her loose hair, delighting in the softness. After many moments, he pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against hers. He opened his eyes and gazed down at Elizabeth who still had her eyes closed. He kissed the tip of her nose gently, eliciting a sweet smile out of her. Neither said a word, they just simply looked at each other with soft smiles on their faces and love in their eyes.

Suddenly, Will was hit with a crushing need. He needed to be with her. He needed to know that they would be together forever. He had to know. "Elizabeth... will you marry me?" Will couldn't help but smile at her reaction. Her eyes widened in shock and moved backwards slightly. Had Will's arm not been around her, she would have fallen to the floor.

"What?" she asked, her voice soft and meek.

"Marry me." he whispered, pulling her closer and resting his forehead against hers once more. "I love you, Elizabeth. I want to spend the rest of my life with you in my arms." he told her softly and did just that by wrapping both arms around her and moving his head to rest on her shoulder. When he pulled back a moment later to gauge her reaction, he saw that tears were swimming in her eyes.

"You really want to marry me?" she asked him softly. He smiled and answered her by pressing his lips against hers. When they separated, she still had her eyes closed when she spoke. "Yes." Gently, he lifted his hand up and wiped away the tears on her face. Will was shocked when Elizabeth threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. He could feel her tears through his shirt and wondered vaguely why exactly she was crying. "I love you, Will." she whispered, her warm breath brushing against his ear.

"And I you, Elizabeth." he told her softly, tightening his hold on her.

Will was broken from his reverie when someone approached him. He did not look up to see who it was. He did not want to know who it was. They would make him leave her. He couldn't leave her. If he was without her, if he had to bid farewell to her, it would make everything real. It would make her death real. He would not be able to bear it.

"Will." he did not look up, but knew that it was Gibbs who was speaking. "We... we got the boat for ye. You can... take Miss Elizabeth..." Will said nothing. He tuned out the rest of what Gibbs was saying. Will said nothing, knowing that even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, the last thing he could do... He had to do it anyway. Without a word, he stood, holding Elizabeth's body close to him. Slowly, with a heavy heart, Will went towards the long boat. Without looking at any of the crew, he gently laid Elizabeth's body in it before getting in it himself. He was going to have to say goodbye to Elizabeth, and that was something he did not think he could do.

Without having any idea how or any memory of doing so, he was suddenly out in the middle of the ocean, far enough away from the Pearl so that no one could see what he was doing. He slowly moved over to where Elizabeth's still form lay. He drew her body into his arms, cradling her against any more harm. He felt like he had to say something. He needed to say something.

"Elizabeth..." he whispered quietly, his voice choked. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. You... I..." he broke off, letting the tears fall, unable to stop them. "I... I should have protected you... I-I love you and... and I should have... should have been able..." he broke off, knowing he could say nothing more. "I'm sorry. I love you, Elizabeth." Slowly, mechanically, his hands moving of his own accord, he lifted Elizabeth's body from the boat, watching as she fell away into darkness, away from him.

Grief. Keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss; sharp sorrow; painful regret. Everyone grieves in different ways, but one thing will always stand true; grieving always occurs. Will Turner was forced to grieve and let go of Elizabeth Swann forevermore.
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