A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Please tell me what you think about this chapter.
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Cause I want you
Harry slowly stopped, so did Ginny. Ginny opened her eyes slowly. She looked shocked, as if she didn't know what she was doing. She looked away from Harry. Harry looked at her delicate lips. He had missed those lips for a long time.
"What was that?" asked Ginny, sounding frightened. Harry tried to reach for her again, but Ginny backed away. "Harry, we're really not supposed to be doing this right now. I…" Her voice faded as she led herself to even more confusing thinking about what had really been happening at the moment she returned Harry's kiss.
"I love you, Ginny," said Harry, without even thinking. You idiot, you shouldn't be saying this right now. You should be finding comforting words to tell her. Why are you being so selfish? She doesn't care about that right now. How could you? "Ginny, I really do. I know you think of me as an idiot for breaking up with you then, but…"
Ginny shook her head. "No," she said. She stood up from her bed and took one step backwards. "Harry, I…we can't. I…" Ginny looked away. Looking into Harry's eyes confused her feelings for him even more. "We shouldn't be doing this. We're different, Harry."
"What do you mean?" asked Harry. He looked alarmed at Ginny's reaction. "Ginny, is there something wrong?" Ginny didn't reply. "Ginny, I just want you to know that I'm willing to do better than Michael or Dean. I want you to truly be happy. I don't want to see you sad and broken like this. I want to see your smile." How can you be any more selfish? How can she smile when Fred had just gone?
Ginny turned away from Harry. "I can't get hurt anymore, Harry. I can't take it anymore." Harry watched her as her lower lip quivered. "I can't take it anymore. I don't want to cry anymore. For a second I just want time to stop and then tell me what's really happening. I can't," she paused and looked at Harry gravely, "fall in love with you."
"Why not?" asked Harry. He stood up from the bed and walked towards Ginny. "I know I've been an idiot when I broke up with you. I was just trying to protect you. I don't want Voldemort taking you into his hands because of me. I knew I was going to throw my life into danger and I didn't want to drag you down with it," he explained. "I didn't want to hurt you, Ginny."
Ginny turned. "That hurt me the most, Harry Potter," she said. Harry was astonished to hear this from Ginny. "I loved you. I remember loving you ever since I started Hogwarts. I couldn't even look into your eyes then. That was how much I loved you. You took all the blame on yourself about what's happening to the people around you. You built up walls and I tried to break it down just to be with you, but you had to throw me back out. I kept my chin up, hoping I was wrong, but when you left Hogwarts, I was right. You did throw me out of your life."
and I feel you
"No I didn't," protested Harry. His heart pounded like crazy. "You don't understand. I had to leave Hogwarts on Dumbledore's orders. You know perfectly about all of it since I was with Ron and Hermione. If I had led a normal life, I would've wanted to spend all my years at Hogwarts with you. I wanted to hold your hand, kiss you, and love you, just the way you deserved to be loved. But that's my fantasy, Ginny. I let you go because I wanted you to be happy," he explained, hoping that Ginny would believe him.
Ginny turned around. Harry knew she was crying. "I was never happy since then, Harry. After you left Hogwarts, I didn't go back with Dean although he wanted us to. I tried to wait for you, Harry, to see if something would happen, but you never came. Dean held my hand every time. He didn't leave. He stayed there with me no matter what. He made me smile. Even though he knew I would only be thinking of you," she cried.
"I was thinking of you too, Ginny, but I had to do what I had to do first. If I didn't, Voldemort would still be running around doing mass murders." Harry sighed. "If I could spend one day, one normal life, I would've spent it with you. You know that, Ginny. You know how much I love you."
Ginny shook her head. "I can't take this anymore. Please leave the room, Harry," she said. She kept wiping her tears, trying not to show them to Harry. Harry tried to hold her hand, but she pulled it away from him. "Harry, please. I want time to be alone now."
"Ginny…"
"Harry, please."
Harry left the room, closing the door behind him. He looked at Ginny's door for a moment, wanting to go back in, but he knew it would make matters worse between him and Ginny. Harry walked down to the living room and stared at the crackling fire in the fireplace. He felt numb as he remembered Ginny words.
crawling underneath my skin
"That hurt me the most, Harry Potter. I loved you. I remember loving you ever since I started Hogwarts. I couldn't even look into your eyes then. That was how much I loved you. You took all the blame on yourself about what's happening to the people around you. You built up walls and I tried to break it down just to be with you, but you had to throw me back out. I kept my chin up, hoping I was wrong, but when you left Hogwarts, I was right. You did throw me out of your life."
"Harry?" Harry looked at Ron who stood behind him holding two glasses of pumpkin juice. "I thought you'd want one." Harry thanked him as he drank the whole thing in one gulp. "You seem upset. Is there anything wrong?" asked Ron.
Harry shook his head. "Nothing," he replied. He looked back at the fireplace. "Ron, have you ever had the feeling you wanted to turn back time so that you could right all the wrongs you made?" he asked, picturing Ginny's depressed face.
Ron smiled. "That's easy to do, isn't it? Just use a Time Turner. You know, the one Hermione used when we were in our third year. I thought it would drive her mad to take so many classes and it did." He sipped his pumpkin juice. "But there are just some things you just can't change," he said sadly, remembering his brother's death.
Harry nodded. "I guess so." He stretched. "I think I should be heading to bed now. I do feel a little tired for some reason," he said and took the glass to the kitchen. "I'll be seeing you in the room then, Ron?" he said.
Ron washed his glass too. "Let's just go together. I think it won't hurt if I turned in early tonight." He paused for a moment and looked at Harry. "Harry, are you really all right? You seem more troubled than Mum did when I last saw her. Is anything the matter? You know you can talk to ma about anything, mate," assured Ron.
No, he can't possibly accept that I kissed his little sister when she was depressed thinking it would make her happy. Besides, Ron's such a protective older brother. I know he'd want Ginny to go out with a better boyfriend. "Yes, I know," Harry replied. They both headed up to Ron's room. "It's really nothing. I'm just being spaced out from time to time."
"If you say so," said Ron, taking off his shirt and jumping to bed. Harry lay down on the mattress beside Ron's bed. Ron turned to him. "But if you're really having a problem, you can tell me anything."
Harry closed his eyes and hoped that this was just another nightmare he was having and he'd wake up to find Ginny smiling at him again.
Like a hunger, like a burnin
Harry sat up from the mattress. He looked sideways at Ron who was still fast asleep. Harry reached for his glasses and placed them on. He looked out the window to see another bright and supposedly happy day. He got up to fix the mattress and head down to see what Mrs. Weasley had prepared for breakfast.
Hermione was already dressed for breakfast, so was Percy and George. They were still eating silently. It wouldn't be the same without the twins smiling and laughing at the table so that it would become livelier. George didn't seem up to it on his own. Ginny was nowhere to be seen. Harry sat beside Hermione and began eating breakfast.
"Ginny was not herself last night," whispered Hermione. Harry had finally come to a conclusion that what happened between him and Ginny wasn't just a dream. "She cried in her sleep last night. She doesn't usually do that even though she's upset about Fred's passing. Did something happen when you went and talked to her?"
Harry didn't answer back. He continued on eating breakfast and trying not to mind Hermione's question, but knowing Hermione, he knew he had to give an answer for she will never stop asking her over and over again.
After breakfast, they went to the garden at the back. "I told Ginny about how I felt about her last night," admitted Harry as he and Hermione walked around the garden.
"And?"
"And Ginny got steamed at me. She said that I hurt her so much even though I didn't really mean to," said Harry. "I tried explaining to her that I really loved her and all I wanted was for her to be safe. I didn't mean for her to get so sad. I didn't even want to see her sad. If only she knew how much I'd give to see her cheerful, laughing face. Ginny's important to me," he said.
Hermione stopped walking. Harry turned to look at her. "I don't think that's the only thing that happened between you and Ginny. I could tell from the look in her eyes last night that she was terrified about something. Harry, she kept touching her lips."
to find a place I've never been
Ron suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "You kissed Ginny?"
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A/N: Please review. What do you guys think of it so far? Thanks so much for those who've been supporting me in writing.
Daniel: You're the best bud a girl could ever have
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