A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Please tell me what you think about this chapter.
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Now I'm broken, and I'm faded
Harry stood there and stared at Ron. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to lie to Ron and deny it, but he didn't want Ron to find out either. Ron has got enough to deal with and you add to his problems? Don't you think you're an extra load to the Weasley family? You've been at their place for quite a while now and you make matters a lot worse!
"You did, didn't you?" said Ron. Harry could no longer contain himself. He nodded. Ron turned away from Harry. "Ginny's been thinking about Dean for some time now. I've talked to her once or twice when I see her lonely. She mentioned that she just needed to be loved and it hurt her when Dean wasn't serious and she was. Then came you as well, who didn't take it too seriously either.You pretty much did too when you told her you couldn't be together. I just don't want het to get hurt again," he said flatly.
Harry sat on a chair. "But I was serious when I said I loved her, Ron," he countered. "I'd never hurt her like Dean did. I just did that to protect her. I want her to smile. I want to see her happy. Don't you understand that?" he asked.
Ron shot a deadly look at Harry. "And turning away from her when you knew she needed her didn't hurt her? SHe smiled the day you said you couldn't be together, saying she understood, but she didn't Harry. She just said that so she won't make ou guilty, but she was hurt nonetheless. Harry, she's given you too many chances. I even tried to convince her that you'd be the most perfect guy for her. I was the one in favor you her having you for a boyfriend rather than Michael Corner or Dean Thomas, oh but you had to turn away, didn't you? Now that she's all defenseless and hurt, then you'll take her. Maybe you think she's going to think of you as her hero?"
Harry could sense so much anger in Ron's voice although he said it in a rather calm manner. "I wanted her to be safe, Ron. I care so much about your sister. I know you've always wanted me to date her, but I couldn't put her life in jeopardy just because my hormones were acting up," he said, defending his reasons for not hooking up with Ginny long before.
"Yeah right," said Ron, to Harry's surprise. "If I didn't know you any better, I'd believe you. You sounded convincing enough. But I've known you for seven years, Harry, seven years. You didn't care about Ginny at all. You watched her be with Dean without the slightest jealousy. Between you and me, when Hermione was with Viktor Krum that night at the Yule Ball I almost killed myself for not asking her out. I was jealous and you knew it. But you were never jealous of Dean, were you?" he asked. "You weren't even jealous when she was with Michael Corner."
"Because I wanted her to be happy, Ron," explained Harry. "I…" His voice faded. He knew no amount of explanation would convince Ron how much he really cares for Ginny. "If you don't want to believe me, that's fine. I don't want to have this silly argument anymore." He walked out of the kitchen and out of the house.
I'm half the man I thought I would be
Harry sat down on the grass. He looked up at the stars. He couldn't believe that he just had a row with Ron just because of him. He grasped the soil hard. He couldn't stop blaming himself for everything that has happened to the Weasley family, most especially to those who meant most to him, Ron and Ginny.
"It's cold out here, you know." Harry knew Hermione was standing behind him. "I heard you and Ron arguing. I don't think Ron meant those things he said to you. He's just really perplexed about what's happening right now. You know, with Fred being gone and all. Ginny's been reminiscing so much about her past lately too. Ron's just worried about her."
Harry let himself lie on the ground. "I guess this is just the price for everything I've done in my life, huh?" He finally felt the reality that was going on and hurt slowly sunk into his heart. "Maybe Ginny will find someone who can love her more than I can." He stretched out his hand and tried to reach for the stars above him, although it was impossible. In his position, he seemed to be holding it. "Reaching out to Ginny is going to be reaching out for that star. So near, yet so far."
Hermione laughed. "You're being so poetic," she said, but Harry didn't even smile. Hermione heaved a sigh. "Give it some time, Harry. It's just that they're all mixed up right now. You understand that, don't you? Ginny, she still loves you. Two years ago, at the end of our sixth year, you broke up with her and she knows that it was because you love her. You know she still loves you, Harry, no matter what she says. Just give her time to heal."
"Time to heal…okay," said Harry, apparently not taking Hermione too seriously. "I don't think I'll sleep here tonight. I've caused enough trouble for the Weasleys." He stood up and turned to Hermione. "Ron's still heated up with me. Can you tell him I said good-bye? To Ginny too," he added.
But you can have
"Where will you go?" asked Hermione worriedly. Harry shrugged. Hermione grabbed his hand. "Oh don't be silly, Harry. You aren't really causing trouble for the Weasleys. I know it. Now it's really getting cold outside. Why don't we just get into the house so we could warm ourselves up? I'm freezing a bit out here too," said Hermione, hoping Harry would give in because she really was getting cold.
Harry didn't move. "I'm serious, Hermione." Hermione studied his face. "Don't look so upset. I just need time off myself. Besides, Ron wouldn't be able to stand sharing the same room with me tonight. Don't worry about me, Hermione. I'll be all right. I'll be back tomorrow morning."
Hermione sighed. "Well, you're not a child anymore. I think you can take care of yourself," she said. She watched as Harry walked slowly away from her. "Harry, please do promise to come back tomorrow." Harry nodded and held up his hand. He soon Apparated away from the burrow.
Harry found himself walked around Godric's Hollow. He found his parents' graves and sat down and stared at it. He looked at his hands. It was really cold. They were slowly feeling numb. Harry rubbed them together so that he could still feel his hands. It'd be no use if it would turn completely numb.
Harry looked at his father's grave. "What would you have done, Dad?" he asked. He rocked himself as he felt the cool breeze blow past him. "I don't have a clue what to do. Here I am, sitting here in front of your grave, clueless. I don't really have a future, Dad. I don't really have any idea what work I'm going to have, which life I'm going to land on." He sighed. "I don't even know what to do right now. My best friend doesn't believe me; the one I love doesn't believe me." Harry looked away. "I have no idea what to do next."
what's left of me.
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A/N: please review the chapter. I hope to see you at the next chapter too! Thanks for all the support, guys!