It's official, the thing I'd never admit, the one thing I never dreamed of having has come, I am depressed, not like a I'm a little sad over something, it's a full blown depression, even writing doesn't help, I can't concentrate, and when someone tries to tell me to relax all I see is fire. I have to see my counselor once a week now after I sought her out, I realized I have a problem and so I want to tackle it head on, she said try talking... face to face I can only utter words of false happiness, a trait I have, to always look good in front of others, to be flawless and everyone's friend who's willing to listen to problems but have none of their own. Lovely, no?

Challengers! Meepisms and Myrah! I listened to them, I think they're completely amazing 'cause sad songs make up my life, I know weird. A Cookie for each of you!

Create A Chain

Chapter 8:

Come and Go

Warmth enveloped me, greeting me, cool breath on my neck suddenly caused me to shiver. Involuntarily I opened my eyes and saw Fang, his dark eyes were hidden beneath his lids and his mouth was parted slightly, his cool breath freezing my skin. I suddenly realized that my arms were wrapped around Fang and my legs intertwined unable to move. At the moment it didn't really bother me, what did is that I don't remember how I fell asleep.

Don't let your guard down, don't forget you have to save the world. The Voice scolded me. I brushed it away, hiding my annoyance as to not wake Fang up.

My mind drifted, pushing the edges of my mind for missing memories. I remember laughing because Fang was back, the boy I've known all my life was back. Fang's arms tightened around me slightly and I smiled. But after that we ate some more and what? What happened?

"We danced." Fang answered for me, his voice quiet and pleased. "We danced until you fell asleep."

"But you don't like dancing." I frowned, looking up at his cool dark eyes. He smiled slightly, causing mild frustration to fill me.

"But I do love you." The words made my heart flutter. Fang didn't say that often, in fact, I almost never heard him say that… He chuckled for a moment. "Did I make your heart skip a beat?" So he had heard my heart too.

"I love you." I murmured, craning my neck to kiss his. He leaned down quickly and captured my lips. Sweeter than chocolate, I grinned into the kiss.

Max. The Voice scolded, I winced, accidentally biting Fang's lip and drawing blood, I slipped from his hold, my head burying into the pillow beneath me. I hissed in pain, why does The Voice ALWAYS have to ruin everything?

I tasted Fang's blood as well as my own in my mouth, knowing I was drawing blood from my tongue. I cried out in pain and felt Fang's attempt to comfort me. I wanted to push him out but I had no strength for that, I was putting too much effort trying to stop the pain.

Someone just kill me now! I felt tears spill from my eyes as my lids closed tightly, images flashing rapidly. My head pounded and my body burned as if it were on fire, the blood boiling, making me unable to feel anything.

"I love you." My eyes snapped open, blinded by stage lights for a moment and I suddenly became aware that Fang was cradling me again, whispering the three words over and over. The fire ebbed away with the pounding and I felt fragile. Fang's head hung low as I listened to the little words so sad and defeated.

When I spoke, my voice was scratchy and the copper taste of blood was bitter. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I can't go what your going through, I can't share that pain with you or make it go away. I tried to get in, take it away because you hurt so much and then I was shoved out with a pain of my own that was only a fraction to yours, I bet. I want to keep you safe and I can't do that." Fang's voice cracked quietly at the end. His hands reached up to cradle my face. "Understand that I love you, that I would do anything to take that pain away from you. And I'm so sorry that I can't even comprehend that side of you." His hands slipped away, falling gently on my fingers and I realized they were shaking.

"How much did it hurt?" I asked Fang as I grasped his hands in mine. His large hands that swallowed mine trembled. I held firm in an attempt at comfort as the pounding continued, I winced at a sudden throb. My body felt weak but I had to be strong for Fang. "That pain that shoved you out."

"Knives stabbing my skull, that I felt it might explode, and that the link we have would be severed." He winced at the thought. "Severing links are always painful."

"Yeah," I agreed, refusing to nod, "that's how I feel during the beginning of it." I admitted quietly. "It gets worse but," I looked up at Fang, examining his sad dark eyes, "I can handle it. You don't have to be Superman, you don't have to save me from everything." I gave him a soft smile until he smiled back.

My head rested on Fang's chest, my breathing calming while listening to his heartbeat, my hands squeezing his every now and then in comfort.

Fang was quietly singing, causing my lids to droop as the dull throbbing continued, and I was drifting away. "In case you were wondering, you are everything to me." Those were the last words I heard before darkness consumed me.

Fang cradled her gently. He hated it, it was something they could not share. The emotions she goes through during a brain attack drives him crazy but the pain is something that hurts her so much. If he could take it away he would but since he couldn't he would've settled for sharing it instead. But no, he couldn't even comprehend the beginning of the pain.

How much do you hurt without me there to protect you? Fang wondered quietly as he lay her back down on the sleeping bag. His ears perked at the sound of distant cars, Erasers would follow them, he thought to himself, it's best if they hit the road.

"Dreams come and go, I wish you the happiest dreams and the best of words spoken, for nothing can ever be said the same way again…" The voice was soft and comforting but I couldn't tell who it was. It was male, low and confident.

It felt like I was in a pitch black room that I couldn't feel the edges of and then a soft fluttering filled my ears. The flock in the distance! I turned in my float and found black and purple butterflies fluttering past me, the black ones had white spots that shined like stars.

Tears stung my eyes and I knew my body was trembling. There were quiet 'goos' and 'gahs' from a baby but why?

"What kind of child is this? A baby that doesn't cry?"

"A perfect monster."

I woke up to a sudden jolt and realized I was sitting in the truck. Tears were streaming down my face and I became aware of Fang holding my hand tenderly.

What was it? Fang glanced at me, one hand on the steering wheel, his gaze back on the road. I replayed the dream to him, the images and words passing by slowly to me. A perfect monster? I watched Fang's brow arch as I slowed the unintentional tears.

"Why'd we leave?" I asked later, the warm sun gracing my face as I only saw wheat from the farmlands we passed by.

"We have a schedule to keep, don't we?" Fang flashed me a smile and I smiled weakly.

"Where are we?"

"I forgot, New Mexico, Oklahoma, or Tennessee? Country roads all look the same after a while." I nodded at his words.

"Tonight, lets go flying…" Fang nearly slammed on the brakes at my soft words. The car behind us honked and Fang was speeding again.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah." I nodded, I needed something to take my mind off the 'perfect monster'.

"Iggy, would you like to help cook Thanksgiving dinner? I'm having guests over and they have bigger appetites than you kids." Anne called up the stairs as Iggy sat listening to an mp3 player Anne had gotten him.

"Yeah." Iggy's head appeared from his door as he nodded at Anne. He closed the door to his room hearing her heels click on the wood flooring away from him.

Fang had gotten into trouble. Iggy concluded, staring blankly as he lay on his plain bed. Fang wasn't the type to let anything go. He said that Iggy was in charge until he brought Max back. But it's been four months, Iggy frowned. Fang must've gotten into some serious trouble. And Max… Iggy's brows furrowed as music filled his ears despite the fact the player was on its lowest volume. What had caused her to go away? Was she kidnapped or did she just run, unable to deal with the flock?

Iggy shook his head at the idea, from the limited time he had known grown-up-Max, she wasn't the type to give up. It must've been either involuntarily or of good reason. Iggy voted for good reason. After all, she told him why he had been left at the School, she didn't have a choice in the matter. She could barely convince Jeb to let Fang come along. But she hadn't wanted him to be left behind and that's what mattered.

And then Iggy wondered. What if it had been him who Jeb took instead of Fang? Would Max have fallen for him? Would Fang be blind instead? Or would she fall in love with Fang at first sight when she was captured and brought back to the school for the first time, despite the fact he was blind? Would it have been the ideal fairy tale for Max and Fang? And would he have always been the odd man out?

As the lyrics came on to an all familiar tune, he continued to wonder… what if…?

He watched her twirl in the stars, her brown speckled wings shined like the stars themselves, her large wings wrapping around her like a fur coat. Beautiful, he thought to himself.

When he heard her laugh and he could feel it catching to him, a rumble that vibrated his chest as he flew beside her. He could feel her excitement, her freedom, and the need to scream her lungs out. Her excitement thrilled him as it coursed through his veins.

For now, you are free but for how much longer? His heart burned at the sadness she was attempting to hide, it was evident through the excitement but the excitement screamed for him to ignore it. Just for now, his dark eyes blinked as she suddenly flew high to block out the moon, we'll hide in the darkness of a new moon.

New Moons hide everything.

Challenge Time: In your opinion: What is my real name? I'll give you a hint, the OC name I use most often is my sister's name and my initials. Oh! And you only have to guess my first.

Preview:

Thanksgiving

We were out of Anne's earshot before any of us spoke again.

"You're not staying." Said Iggy, his voice stiff, sensing my unease.

"I can't." I replied, squeezing Angel's hand. "I want to stay, take you guys everywhere, but I can't." I bit my lip. I looked at Angel who seemed to have ignored the words I said. "Angel, sweetie, do you forgive me for being gone? I didn't want to leave and I was so afraid that you all would be mad at me if I came back. That's why I wanted to see you and Iggy first."

"So even the great indestructible Max can get scared." Iggy scoffed. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I forgive you Sami." Angel was already hugging me and my fingers were running through her soft blonde curls. "No one's mad that you left, they just really missed you."

"And when I leave again?"

"I'll miss you again."

Adieu
Nightwing