My weekly session with my counselor was today... I told her I was doing better, I am, now that I've fallen out of contact with that Edward I've told you about. I talked to him today, face to face, he seemed uncomfortable around me, just like I am around him. We try so painfully hard around each other. My counselor... she asked me what type of music I liked, I told her I didn't like Acoustic even though my sister ADORES it. I told her it bothered me, there was so much space, unlike the music I listen to, there's no room to breathe, there's no space. I told her I didn't like that much space, even if it is space that makes up music. I told her I think of colors and shapes when I hear music. Acoustic music is ALWAYS white or a very very pale blue, I told her that I hated it because it meant there was light outside and there was nothing to see. And I told her of a song that reminded me of my sister. It had an off white background... with so many bright colors revealing a rainbow and circles that shined like bubbles. I told her it made me laugh, it made me happy. The smile must have been genuine, for she smiled back at me and told me I should put it into my stories like I already do. She hopes I continue writing. It's weird though, the most intellectual stuff I say comes when I don't think and when I think, my thoughts are for all of you to read.

Course fair is tomorrow, I have to talk to my counselor to make sure I don't get a lunch next year (sculpture class and AP Calculus in the only lunch periods) and I get to see Fluffy! (The dissected cat who I actually get to see everyday but hasn't seen daylight in over a year.) Oh and advisory... shoot. me. now. Can you believe my school literately has seven different schedules?

Challengers! Wow... Not even close... I'm pretty sure Sam was a dead give away... I could be wrong... though I can say meepisms is the closest, she guessed part of my middle name ( I didn't require it but you know... brownie points) She said Annie, that's my Mom's name but my middle name's Ariana.

Create A Chain

Chapter 9:

Thanksgiving

We were almost to Jersey when I popped in a new tape. Fang raised a brow as I did so. "I think I know why I was like that all those days ago." I told Fang as the music was at its lowest volume.

"Why?" Fang asked quietly, his gaze straight on the road.

"I was scared." I confessed. "It was a thought I had been trying to reason subconsciously. Why you would follow me after I did all those horrible things at the School… I couldn't understand why you still loved me even after I hurt you so much. And I suppose, I was afraid you'd leave at any moment. That you were just playing face until you could suddenly bolt. And I guess, I was just so afraid to be alone again…" Fang pulled over the truck to the side of the country road. He parked the truck and looked at me with his ever piercing gaze.

"I would be absolutely insane not to love you. It doesn't matter what you do as long as you remain the person I've known all my life. You've gone through phases, this is just another one and you'll go through many more but one thing's for sure, you'll always be my Max." His words flowed like a poem through my ears.

"And when I leave again?" He gripped the steering wheel tightly even though we weren't moving.

"When?" Fang's voice was quiet. The music filled the truck even though it would be impossible to hear if you didn't have supernatural hearing. I couldn't hear Fang breathe or my heart beating, just the music.

And we both go down together
We'd stay there forever
Just try to get up
And I'm sorry
This wasn't easy
I asked you believe me
And never let go
But I let go…

"Yes, when. I have to go back, Fang…" I slipped from the passenger's seat and took the wheel, starting the truck again so its roar could drown out the music. I slipped back into the empty street, waiting for Fang to make a sudden reaction. But he didn't react. He remained silent, staring straight ahead, like he didn't notice me push him from the driver's seat.

"I hope you're willing to listen." I sighed, the overcast clouds were overlaying a weight in my heart. "I've been having broken thoughts as of late and they don't help at all. They confuse me because they're so random, usually they make sense but they don't. When I'm not expecting it they pop in and confuse me…" Fang's eyes flickered to me for a moment as I made a turn to a nearby town. "The most frequent is: It's better if you don't remember. Another, I want to fall with no intention of getting back up. Then there are times I hear thoughts but I'm not sure if they're yours or someone else's. All I know is that they're male. These thoughts confuse me more. She's like a butterfly. She doesn't get it. I want to love her… Why is it so impossible to save the one that needs saving? We have an emergency, the two of us…"

"I don't get it." I whispered, pulling into a gas station to fill up the tank. "They all fit somehow, it's a riddle and at the same time so obvious it doesn't deserve to be called one."

"Don't think too much about it," Fang said to me, "We'll get it eventually."

"When we get there, go visit the flock, I'm going to ask to see Iggy and Angel first." I told Fang as I turned down a paved road. "Remember the plan, okay? You escape with the flock, everything's taken care of, you just have to take care of them."

How long? His gaze was ever piercing. How long do I have to stay away from you, how long will we be separated?

I don't know… If I'm lucky, a few months but knowing me, forever.

Forever is a long time, Max. Anne's house pulled into view, I saw Nudge playing with Total in the yard as Angel seemed to be chasing a butterfly.

I know… but it's how long I'll love you… Wow, that sounded cheesy but at least it's the truth.

Forever echoed through my mind as I slammed the truck door closed, grabbing my backpack from the bed of the truck as Fang walked ahead towards the flock. I hid beside the truck, knowing well that they could smell my scent but pretending they couldn't.

"Samantha, you made it." Anne appeared in front of me, her soft flats clattered with the loose stone driveway. She held her hand to me and I shook it slightly.

"Hello to you too." I nodded. "May I speak to Iggy and Angel before the rest of the flock please?"

"I don't see why not." She looked over my shoulder and I felt like there was a faceless woman in front of me. "Icarus! Angel! Will you come here for a moment?"

"Icarus?" I looked at her, bewildered. I knew it was Iggy but this was Iggy, he would never voluntarily change that name.

"Icarus, Angel, meet Samantha, Samantha, Icarus and Angel."

"How's it going Ig?" I asked, my hands jammed in my jean pockets. Anne gave me a reproachful look.

"Max!" Angel threw her arms around my waist and Iggy froze, actually noticing my scent for the first time.

"It's Sam for now Angel, just for now." I smiled softly to the girl, patting her head. Iggy leaned against the bed of my truck, staring right at me but not seeing.

"You were gone." The three words escaped Iggy's throat.

"Yeah," I nodded, my words were dry and cracked like Iggy's, "I was." I continued to pat Angel's head as I gave Iggy the hard stare he was giving me. "I really hope you guys can understand, I really missed you guys."

"I've understood." Mumbled Iggy. "You've never done something on a whim, Max, always plan it out but if you don't get to plan, it was involuntary. I understand."

"It's Sam." My voice croaked.

"What is?"

"My name," It cracked again, "is Sam." I stopped patting Angel's hair as she pulled away.

"Come on Sami! I want to show you the horses and ponies Ms. Anne has!" Angel grabbed my hand and grabbed Iggy's with another before she took off running, Anne waving with a false smile towards our retreating figures. God, I hate that woman.

We were out of Anne's earshot before any of us spoke again.

"You're not staying." Said Iggy, his voice stiff, sensing my unease.

"I can't." I replied, squeezing Angel's hand. "I want to stay, take you guys everywhere, but I can't." I bit my lip. I looked at Angel who seemed to have ignored the words I said. "Angel, sweetie, do you forgive me for being gone? I didn't want to leave and I was so afraid that you all would be mad at me if I came back. That's why I wanted to see you and Iggy first."

"So even the great indestructible Max can get scared." Iggy scoffed. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I forgive you Sami." Angel was already hugging me and my fingers were running through her soft blonde curls. "No one's mad that you left, they just really missed you."

"And when I leave again?"

"I'll miss you again."

"I have an announcement." Anne announced and the table became silent. It was thanksgiving dinner and Iggy had cooked a delicious feast. I watched Anne with cautious eyes as Fang held my hand beneath the table, sensing my feelings were at unease. "I'd like to adopt you all!" She finished in glee.

"You're crazy." I replied stiffly.

"Samantha, you know I'm not adopting you, you know you're Jeb's daughter." Anne said simply, a graceful smile on her lips.

"You think they'll like being your pets?" I asked through gritted teeth. Fang tightened his grasp on my hand.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do. And they know too." I glared, my voice was laced with anger and venom.

"Samantha, if you can't behave at this table may I suggest you leave?" Anne raised a brow.

"Fine." I replied with a glare. "May I be excused from this wonderful meal and my family?"

"Certainly, I would like to speak to you later on tonight."

"Fine, that's only if I'm willing to listen." I stood up abruptly, releasing my hand from Fang's and quickly exited the dining room to the guest room. Moments later I heard faint laughter from the dining room.

Fang's told them, I glared at the wall, he's told the flock about Anne. They know who and what she is.

You okay? Fang's voice echoed through my mind. I sighed, I should apologize for my overflow of emotions.

No. I hate it here, I'm drowning, suffocating, and I can't raise a hand against her! My freaking superior wants to adopt the flock! I glared at the ceiling now. Look, I'm sorry, I just didn't want to come here but I really didn't have much of a choice.

You always have a choice.

Not when you're backed up against a wall. The faint clatter of dishes told me dinner was over downstairs.

Fang's thoughts sighed and I nearly smiled. Do you want to go flying tonight?

Yes.

Anne was angry when I got back. Pissed off that I went flying instead of staying to get a scolding from her.

"I have no idea why Jeb let such a child have a job like yours. He should have known better, there is no reason why you should act like a – "

"Spoiled Brat?! You should know all about that Anne. Wanting to adopt my flock for your own twisted experiments!"

"I want them to be happy! I'm giving them a normal life with a normal home to return to!"

"For how long!" I snapped, knowing well that the flock could faintly hear us as Anne and I argued in the barn. "There's always a valid reason behind everything. You don't love them Anne, not more than the brand new employee hired last week who has yet to meet them. What do you know that I don't?" Anne looked away, her eyes hurt.

"You're wrong about one thing. I do love them." Silence filled the barn. "That's why I'm offering that chance of freedom, that's why I'm adopting them. The director is planning something classified which will eventually mean – "

"They'll be terminated." I finished with a lump in my throat. "But they were erased from the system, I've checked a thousand times. They've technically already been terminated. So give them up if you love them. You and I both know they'd rather be free in their own sense. I'm giving them up Anne, so why don't you?"

"Because I'm not some little girl who doesn't know what to do. I can afford to protect them, unlike you who has to keep on their toes just so they can remain 'terminated'. When your slip up comes I'll be the one hiding them! I love them Samantha, they're the children I've always wanted!"

"You wanted them with wings?! I can hardly believe that!"

"Samantha, I've always wanted to be a mother. No doubt it's your own maternal instincts that have sent you into hysterics. They are my children and I love them."

"But do they love you?" I asked coldly. Anne seemed taken aback at my words. "Let them choose, Anne, if they want to stay with you fine." Even if it wasn't fine with me at all. "But let them go so they can choose for the life of their own."

I suggested the plan to fly away to the flock, I told them it was their choice. I was going to let them choose like I told Anne, I was not going to be a hypocrite.

I wonder what they'll choose… I wonder if they love her… I wonder if she managed to show more love than I was ever able to…

My hands were jammed in my pocket, Fang's truck loaded with my things. I had said goodbye to Fang with a stolen kiss within the house and now I was standing before Anne and the Flock.

"I'll miss everyone." I smiled sadly at the Flock as Angel clutched Celeste tightly, Gazzy gripped the edge of his shirt, as Fang, Iggy, and Nudge stood stiffly, watching and waiting.

"If I could send you guys Christmas presents I would but you know…"

"We know." Fang nodded.

"So, I guess, I'll be seeing you." I shrugged, giving each member of the flock a hug and a handshake for Anne.

"Be seeing you." Nudge waved me off as I slammed the door to my truck.

"Now!" Iggy yelled and the flock shot into the air. Somehow, I was secretly happy… Moments later black vans had skidded to a halt near Anne.

"Haven't I told you not to mess with them?" Jeb's familiar voice echoed through every memory of him as he scolded Anne.

"Samantha! Bring your flock back-"

"Don't dismiss it like nothing!"

"I can't." I smiled wanly. "Because growing up means letting go." I rolled up the window to my truck before tearing out of the driveway, music blaring behind me. The faint bickering of Jeb and Anne was the amusement of my worries.

If you'll excuse me, I have a satirical editorial to write for English class tomorrow "I want to be the next American Idol- I mean, President!" Trust me, you'll get me to watch the elections if you put them on the "Real Life" or "Survivor" But seriously, debates and singing? Not my preference... no offense to those who love American Idol, my whole family does, I just like to read stuff on here.

Not a challenge but a challenge-contest: So, if anyone wants to win about twenty billion cookie points, as in I'll write you a story by your plot, draw and color something of your description this is the challenge for you. I can't come up with a decent plot with even the title "All Hail The Heartbreaker" So if you can write a songfic to the story or a good story behind it, you'd be loved and entered in this contest. I'm looking along the lines of one shots of of the author's liking's for the second and third place winners.

Challenge Time!: Can you guess the Three D's of Maximum Ride? If you want to cheat, two of the three are in the summary of "Fifteen Years Gone"

Btw, if anyone is interested, read "Thinking as a Hobby" by William Golding, I'm a grade two thinker if anyone cares to notice. :shrugs: just to let you know.

Preview:

Interlude: Blue and Gray

Angel watched silently as Fang tossed and turned in his sleep, his dreams were flooding her mind at full force, a sad song replaying over and over, and a place that was only black white and gray. She had never heard the song before and after searching through Fang's mind, neither had he. But it was sad like a manga book she made Anne buy, it was about a boy who never got to say how much he loved a girl before she passed away. What was the name of it? Angel shook her head, it wasn't important now, it was just a book she left sitting on her bed.

Reviews are greatly loved

Adieu
Nightwing