When You Met Me

Chapter V

I Just Want Back In Your Head

Dan lay on his back, his hand resting on his stomach. He felt like a child, stealing without getting caught. He was never one to steal or break the rules, so in a way, he felt he deserved this. Yes, the risk devoured him as he lay in darkness, and yes he was unsure of everything, but something clicked. The tug of guilt was pulling him closer to the edge. Jenny's girlish laughs echoed behind the garage door that separated their rooms, making everything more chaotic. Usually, he would ignore them, tune them out, but this time he felt his stomach twist in fear and paranoia.

Does she know?

….did Chuck say something?

He sat up and the slight pull to tell anyone what happened at Chuck's suite rose up in him again. He head Jenny more clearly now, something about Blair, but he could not quite make it out. His stomach settled for a moment. It was probably about her latest party, and speaking about parties, a paradoxical party raved on in his mind. One part of him wanted to tell anyone who'd listen, and the other knew he was never going to. The pull to tell sunk away when Jenny came in, holding her cell phone.

"Did you hear about Chuck?"

"What? No, I didn't hear anything, about…him, no, why?" Dan said. He wanted to hit himself, throw himself out the window, anything to make him stop stuttering.

"Why?" Jenny squealed, "I have just heard why, it's like the juiciest news ever reported on Gossip Girl."

"You said that last week too."

"No, no this way better than last week's."

"And you said that too."

.Dan gulped down his meaningless witty banter with his sister and awaited the dreaded news he knew was coming.

"Supposedly, Chuck, the Chuck Bass had sex with a guy, he like consummated his gayness."

Dan froze, "Okay, woah, bad picture."

But Dan felt himself grow hotter by the minute, his face he knew was bright red, and sweat, the guilty and the horny kind of sweat, formed on his forehead. Because the picture was not bad, it was good, and he had looked at the picture plenty of times, over and over in his head all night. He hated the reaction to envisioning Chuck Bass completely, naked, he wanted to leave, he did not want Jenny to see any trace of GUILTY AND LOVING IT all over his body.

But, either Jenny was pretending to ignore it, or she had no idea her brother was the guy who turned Chuck's rumored gayness into a big, dirty truth.

"No one knows who though," Jenny went on, "The only thing GG reported on was a watch."

Dan looked down at his wrist, "What kind of watch?"

"That's the big mystery, GG did not say anything else, and she was very discrete about it, as if even she didn't get the whole scoop, someone must have told her only half the story."

"It sounds like another stupid rumor to me."

"Everyone's like trying to figure it out; Blair thinks it's some male escort."

Dan gulped, "Oh, wow, yeah, I have to go."

Jenny moved aside, "Where were you last night?"

"Serena's." he said quickly and left.

"Nate, I'm sorry." Serena sat down on her bed, "These past few months, after I got back, I've totally messed up. I fell for Dan and ignored you completely, when I should've listened to you."

Nate sat next to her.

"What about Blair?" She asked.

Nate shrugged, "She's Blair."

"I know but I can't do this to her again."

"Then don't." He said.

Serena leaned in and kissed him, "But I want to."

"Good morning Daniel."

Dan stopped in front of her.

"Is this yours?" Blair held the watch up in front of him and he snatched it away from her and started to walk off.

"You can't get off that easily, Humphrey."

Dan groaned and turned around, "Please."

Blair smirked, "Now that your Chuck's butt buddy, we're almost sisters."

"I have to go to class."

"Wait, I know," Blair smiled, "But, you'll want to know what you can do to keep this dirty secret of yours."

Dan listened.

"Take Serena back."

Dan sighed, "I can't do that."

Blair began taking out her phone.

"Fine," Dan stopped her, "I'll do it."

Whether the situation, Dan could not let this come out of the closet, he wanted to keep his family out of this, especially for Jenny who did not need something to ruin the reputation she was ruthlessly trying to uphold. Blair stood waiting for more, waiting for him to come up to her and beg for mercy.

"I'll follow through, I'll write you up an evil plan and send you the final copy, I promise," Dan clasped his hands together.

"Good, you get it."

"Can I ask why you want me back with Serena?"

"Don't you know?" Blair laughed, "Oh, that's sad, you don't know."

"Know what?"

"She's been in love with my boyfriend since, hmm, let's see, forever."

"When she kissed you, told you she loved you, etc. etc., she always pictured Nate, I'm sure of it."

Dan fumed, "Okay you've proved your point."

"She's probably been waiting and waiting for you to break up with her, so she can have a proper chance to jump my boyfriend, and that's where you come in."

"But, what if she won't want to get back together?"

"Trust me, she will."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Nate wants us both." Blair smirked, "He'll always choose me in the end, so Serena will come crawling back if you just say the magic words and then you'll be free from this 'rumor'."

Dan shook his head, "I can't believe I can see your point."

"Okay, now fly off little fairy."

Dan rolled his eyes and left.

Chuck pushed his way through the crowd and snuck around the corner.

"Hi?" Dan said, but it ended up being more of a question than a greeting.

Chuck froze, "I've been avoiding you all day, now you've ruined it."

"I'm sorry, but Blair-"

"I know, by the way, you left your watch."

"Ha, Ha," Dan said dryly.

"Who takes off their watch…" Chuck lowered his voice, "during sex?"

Dan laughed, unexpectedly, he hadn't meant to, but the ridiculousness of the situation forced him to. Dan Humphrey hadn't expected to be sneaking around and randomly hooking up with Chuck Bass.

'What's so funny, Humphrey?" Chuck asked standing up straighter. His hair was messy, but it did not matter, he still looked rich and sexy.

Dan's smile faded, "Nothing," he looked at Chuck intently, studying to specks of color in his eyes.

"Obviously it's something."

Dan felt a pang of pleasure rise up from him when Chuck looked up at him.

Memories of last night hung in the air, of Chuck's slim, fit figure moving underneath and bending his back in ecstasy. Dan could remember the taste of Chuck, right there, and almost leaned it to make sure he had remembered it right.

Chuck leaned back, "Earth to Daniel, you are not allowed to picture me naked on private property."

Dan blushed and looked at his feet.

"Make sure no one finds out it's my cock you're dreaming about and I'll do the same for you." Chuck checked behind Dan's shoulder for anyone who could be listening in, then started off down the empty hallway. His feet dragged in his new leather boots, and his tan coat hugged his body tightly. Dan imagined him smoking and throwing the butt on the ground before blowing out a puff of smoke. Dan watched him, and bit the inside of his cheek, trying to block any of those naked thoughts from popping into his head.

"I did not think I'd like it."

Chuck mumbled, fumbling for the light switch, which turned off all the lights in the suite. He felt for Dan, instinctively and accidentally brushed his hand under the covers. Dan tried to grab it, but Chuck's slender fingers moved too quickly. The curtains encasing the windows were left open so the city light provided them with enough light to make out each other. Dan thought of how he held Serena after they made love, but this was not making love, it was sex. Guy sex, gay sex, a different kind of sex that did not involve cuddling or much talking.

But Dan had to say something, "Can I ask you something?"

Chuck hugged his pillow and his eyes began to droop, "What?"

"How was I?"

"I never thought I would say this, but how would I know? I'm new at this; I have nothing to compare it to."

"Why does everything say that?"

"Because it's the correct answer."

Dan moved under the covers and wrapped his arms around Chuck's torso and felt the warmth that developed between them. Chuck did not challenge this, which surprised Dan, so he continued pecking his neck, and Chuck rolled over and kissed him full on the lips, "Don't take advantage." Chuck whispered.

Dan smirked and continued kissing him. Chuck's eyes were closed, dizzy from this sex, and exhausted by the knew feeling he had, a new feeling that he wanted Dan to hug him, cuddle him, fuck him, whatever. Chuck pulled away and fell back onto the pillows with Dan on top of him. "You awake?"

Chuck's breathing slowed, his chest rose up and down softly. Each time his chest touched Dan, he could feel the strong pulse of his heartbeat. Dan lay his head on Chuck's shoulder, feeling his eyes close…

"Dan?" Jenny shook him, "Dan?"

"Yeah?" Dan opened his eyes and grabbed the book he was reading, "I'm awake."

"Your phone was vibrating, but it said unknown number so, I just let it ring."

Dan's heart skipped, "Where is it?"

Jenny handed it to him, "Thanks."

"So you and Serena got back together?"

Dan cleared his throat, "We are working it out."

Jenny smiled, "That's good news."

"Yeah, good news."

Dan stood up and walked out the door and dialed Chuck's number in the hall.

All Chuck had wanted to do was kiss him. He wanted to be underneath him. Have sex with Dan had opened a can of worms. Now it was all he could think about. It made him squirm in his seat all day, uncomfortable, unsatisfied and sweaty.

"Damn it." He pounded his fist against the shower tiles as water gushed from the shower head. His black hair stuck to his wet face and he brushed it away with his hand. His cell phone lay on the counter and all he had to do was dial. He fumbled out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and dialed. He felt dehydrated, his hands were shaking.

Four rings echoed in his ear until Dan picked up.

Dan felt his cell phone vibrate in his hands and the unknown caller popped up on the tiny screen.

"Hey."

"Come over." Chuck begged. He hung on to the counter, feeling his shakiness wear off a bit since Dan had answered his phone.

Dan felt that excitement build up again.

"What time?"

"Now." Chuck said, and then he felt pathetic, but ignored it when he realized he did not care how he sounded at this point.

Dan arrived, risking being caught and knocked timidly on Chuck's door. Chuck let him in and then closed the door.

Dan stood awkwardly and it felt much like last night except that Chuck leaned in and kissed him. He had soft lips, Dan have never thought they would be. He parted his lips slowly and Chuck's tongue dove in, perfectly. They only kissed, but it felt like more. Dan pressed Chuck against the door he had just closed, obviously the unexpected dominant one. Dan had always figured Chuck would be the pitcher, but he had guessed wrong. Chuck's hidden vulnerabilities turned Dan into a power hungry person he never thought he was. Chuck's willingness to give up on dominance made him different. It made him surprisingly sexy.

"Dan wants to get back together." Serena told Blair, "He texted me last night."

Blair smiled, what an obedient slave you are, Dan Humphrey, "Really? That's great; I knew it was just a fluke."

"Me too, I'll probably meet up with him tomorrow."

"Good, have you seen Nate?"

Serena swallowed the rest of her sandwich, "I saw him yesterday, he was talking about you."

"Aw, what did he say?"

"He said he wanted to be with you, he went on and on about how much he loves you."

"Nate is such a sweetheart I'm so glad he's my boyfriend and not…"

"And not…what?" Serena asked.

"Nothing, I shouldn't say."

"Say. Spill, what do you know that I don't know."

"Nothing."

Serena eyed her, "Yes you do."

"Okay, I do. I just am worried about you and Dan, how he broke up with you…"

"What?"

"Well, I want a boyfriend who'll stay with me."

Serena sighed, "Fine, Blair, Nate's great, but so is Dan, he'll never hurt me."

Blair laughed, "Oh, it's nothing like that."

Serena shook her head, "You're just being a bitch about it."

"I know," Blair smiled, "A part of me just wants to protect her best friend."

"Well, thank you Blair, but I can take care of myself."

"Chuck." Dan pushed him away, but not far enough away that their lips did not touch, "I need to know something."

"What?" Chuck grabbed onto Dan's button up, "What?" He groaned.

"What if someone finds out?"

Chuck turned away, "Who knows."

Dan grabbed Chuck's arm, "What if everyone finds out, where will that leave me?"

"You?"

"Yes. Me."

"Do you have any idea what my father will do when he finds out?" Chuck crossed the room, his temper filling every inch of the large space.

"I know, I know." Dan followed him across the room.

"He'll throw me out on my ass."

"I'll be-"

"Shunned? For a week? For a year?" Chuck yelled, "Your precious father will accept you, but I'll be standing outside with nothing."

"I did not mean it like that."

Chuck fell silent, "They'll destroy me too, but you know what Dan?"

Dan moved closer to him.

'What?"

Chuck scoffed,"I have no idea what I am doing right now." He shook his head, "I'm fucking…"

"Yeah, trust me, I know."

"No you don't, you don't understand anything."

"You know what, you're right, I don't."

Chuck grabbed Dan's arm before he could go, "Don't leave while I'm still talking to you."

Dan shook his arm off, "I don't know what to do." Dan spoke truthfully, "You're here, I'm here, we both want this, but I-I'm still confused, I'm doing something I don't know I'm ready for."

"Then leave." Chuck presented him to the door, "You're free to go."

Dan left and mentally cursed himself the whole ride down the elevator. He just wanted Chuck, but then again he wanted normalcy to continue. He did not want to keep secrets or sell his soul to Blair. Or, hurt Serena anymore than he had. But, something about Chuck's life, and the way he lived it, made Dan cut off that part of him that belonged to Chuck and separate it from reality. But, he knew this could never be in the open. Everything was becoming jumbled and confusing. He never thought life could be like this, he wanted it to be like a TV show where he'd just follow the path of the character, without worrying about choices because whatever happened happened. If people found out about them, it would be over. The whole thing would end and a new character would take over.

As Dan walked home, he wanted to give up, and the later it got, the more lost he became in his own thoughts. And as it happens, he had lost track of time, and when he looked at his wrist it was bare, he had forgotten to put on his watch again. It was ironic that since he first officially was with Chuck, he had lost all sense of direction and time. He wanted to laugh at himself, for forgetting, for accidentally stumbling onto this thing he had with Chuck, for realizing that his watch was at home, where he should be spending his time.

He stopped and grabbed his phone our of his pocket and dialed Serena's number because it was the only sane thing he could think of.

Hope you enjoyed! BTW the title of the chapter is from a Tegan and Sara song that I love! You should totally download it…

xoxo

Lyn Lloyd

P.S. wasn't episode 15 awesome? With all it's Chuck/Dan hints I couldn't get enough hehe. Plus it was angsty, just the way I like it. Ooh, and Chuck was very hot of course, and I thought it was cute how he helped Serena out…tehe! Enough of my fangirlish ramblings and again, hope you enjoyed it!!