note: rather depressing.
erasure
by ash!trik
series: Shugo Chara
pairing: ikutoXamu
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erasure
[one-shot]
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disclaimer: I own nothing.
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"Ikuto!"
And she screams and screams and screams his name but it's not working and that's all she can think – that It's not working and they were finally going to be—
"Amu!"
And all of a sudden her Ikuto (Ikuto!) is here and everything is going to be alright; because Ikuto is her love and life and soul and who she wants to be with and Amu could never live without him; never, never, never.
They scrabble through the empty space that is somehow cutting into their minds in order to reach other; and their movements are all desperate and strained because it still wasn't working and Amu suddenly realizes with a pang that It still isn't working and she lets out a sob that she had promised Ikuto would never happen but it happens, and she is crying now, and everything is going wrong.
Ikuto is roaring on the other side of the gap (the horrid, blasted thing between them; separating his Amu who should always be by his side from him) and is gradually getting weaker and weaker and so weak he's going to lose but he can't! He has to win, Amu is waiting at the end, and he has to win so they'll never be separated again and this pain will go away, that pain that was clouding his senses – pain, pain, pain…
"Ikuto, please, stop," Amu screams, and her tears are falling before her and drowning her now and she can only watch her Ikuto tearing himself apart and–and—
And she finally realizes what she has to do.
Amu struggles to block out the roaring of evil wind, the clanging of metal against cat hisses, the roars of anger and hurt and pain from Ikuto and finally it works! And she has caller on her Charas for the first time in a few years, but it worked, the only thing that has for the last few years as well.
And as she thinks this, she whispers to her Charas, "For the last and final time…"
Ran and Miki and Su are crying and crying once they realize what is going on and they pummel their tiny fists into her chest and scream for Amu to stop, but she can't anymore because this was how it was supposed to be, and everything would be alright soon…
"No, you can't, you can't!" they keep screaming, and at this Amu starts crying all over again too but she valiantly tries to swallow her tears because—
Ikuto had always enjoyed licking them, but he told her once he loved her smiling face the most
—and she whispers her love to those tiny Charas that have changed her life and led her to Ikuto and showed her why she was born and who did she love…
So with this, she smiles and murmurs, "Erasure: start. Character Memory/Time Reversal: begin and lock."
Now Ran, Miki, Su have all stopped crying and for some reason everything has gone silent as well and the evil wind is gone and Ikuto's pain is subsiding and he wonders why this is so but then he turns and—
"Amu…"
Too late, he finally notices what she has been planning to do all along if they were caught and he was being punished and now, now—
The pain has come back full force and Ikuto is running, running, running to his Amu like the beast his Father told him he was but Ikuto doesn't care about his Father anymore, because nothing mattered more than Amu at the moment; his Amu, his precious, fragile, strong Amu that was leaving him and along and slowly disappearing and fading and—
"NO!" he screams, his paws shattering (and something else inside his pain-filled chest but he can't stop to think about it) and his transformation now failing and his useless, human hands are finally embracing his Amu like he always does but this time; this time it's different somehow because—
"Don't cry, Ikuto," she whispers in that beautiful voice, but it's no use even as he hears these words, because the tears are falling thick and fast.
"I…"
And he curses himself as he cradles her and tries to get her to stop talking because he couldn't protect her, couldn't save her, couldn't keep hold of her body that was fading like a curse and draining her life and turning his memories back one by one and she was—
"I love you."
—dying.
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and time flows by, but nothing stops
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Ikuto stares dumbly at his hands. He feels like he'd just been holding onto something vaguely important but nothing is coming to mind and his mind is repeatedly saying It's nothing, it's nothing.
"Hey, Ikuto! C'mon, we have to go!"
He hears this with his somehow very attentive hearing (where did he get it, he wonders) and recognizes the voice as Utau, his bratty but one and only sister he has and wonders what that feeling constricting his heart currently was, because he knows somehow that it's important but his mind still says no, no, no…
"Honestly, what are you doing there?" Utau huffs, eyeing her dazed brother as he sits on the lonesome park bench. He looks up and knows that it's Utau, that it's his sister and nothing about that has changed but somehow she looks different this time, and he can't place it but she looks so different…
"You trying to make me late for my wedding or what?"
And it hits him.
"Amu," he breathes, hands trembling. He can't quite remember who this Amu is but his soul is fighting and screaming Amu, Amu, Amu even though his mind is still saying No, no, no and he can't remember who Amu is but his heart feels like its tearing apart piece by piece.
Utau sniffs and cocks her head in confusion. "Who?" Her foot taps in impatience because today is her wedding day and Ikuto was acting strange, and wasn't that just quite rude on her day of happiness?
But even if she can't remember, Ikuto is suddenly remembering everything and so he suddenly blurts out, "You're not in love with me anymore."
Utau screams with raucous laughter at this after having looked shocked for a while, because it just doesn't make sense to her and she doesn't know whether Ikuto is joking or not; but her laughs finally subside as Ikuto's face doesn't seem to be cracking a smile and is instead growing more pained and pained with each second and now Utau is starting to get worried.
"Ikuto, seriously, are you okay? What are you even talking about?"
"Amu," he whispers, eyes wide and desperate. He rounds on her and shakes her roughly by the shoulders. "Why have you forgotten?! Why have I forgotten?!"
Utau is getting nervous and Ikuto's grip is starting to hurt. "Let go, Ikuto, hey—"
"Where's Amu? Where's my Amu?!" And by now, he is almost screaming and attracting the attention of everyone in the park.
"—hey, hey, LET GO, I SAID!" Utau chokes out, shoving Ikuto off her because his grip was hurting and now a bruise would form on her shoulder, just in time for her wedding dress.
But Ikuto is lost, lost, lost without his Amu.
And so, perhaps as a cruel joke from some God high above, the final memory suddenly returns.
Amu is dead.
"We congregate here today, on this dreary September day, to mourn the death of my beloved brother and best friend, Ikuto Tsukiyomi, on September 24th. He was troubled and plagued by thoughts I could not understand and eventually, sadly, committed suicide. I know in our hearts we will always love him; may he rest in peace under the protection of our ancient loved ones high above the sky, and perhaps alongside his mysterious 'Amu' that he always spoke of."
-Utau Soma-
A/N – 03.23.09 [ash!trik]
If you read, please review. Even if it's only to tell me this didn't make any sense, because I think I'm well aware of that. And my goal is to confuse you. Kekeke.
…I'm kidding, in case you can't tell. I use stories to say something you can't say out loud. Well, what do you make of this one?
Have a nice day.