Author's Notes and Thoughts:

Sorry about the big delay. I started a new job and had a minor case of writer's block, but then Turkey Day hit and I used holiday time to get back on the writing wagon.

As far as stories that I've been reading--you all should go over to twilighted. net if you haven't already, and read the stories by Marve and Wish Girl. Marve's story Ladders is probably the funniest thing I've read in the history of Fanfiction--lots of lemons, warning.

Also, I saw Twilight, the movie, with a group of friends. I can't say I was really depressed or impressed either way. I read reviews ahead of time--it has something really low like 40% on Rotten Tomatoes--so I knew not to get my hopes up. I liked the second half of the movie a whole lot better than the first half--which is kind of the opposite of how I felt about the book. I'm hoping the next movie will be better--the studio acquired the rights to the film before Twilight really became popular and hopefully they'll give the sequels much better special effects budgets now that the studio understands the phenomenon that is Twilight.

Finally I'm interested in doing a one-shot for jandco and wtvoc's "A Very Cullen Christmas" Collaboration Contest. I have some good ideas (I think.), and I'd like someone to work with me on a funny piece--if there be lemons--that's fine, too. PM me if you're interested. Otherwise, to learn more about the contest, check out jandco & withthevampsofcourse's author pages for all the dirty details.

Disclaimer: Twilight is Steph Meyer's.

Chapter 26 - Needs and Nonsense

"Real productive way to deal with your emotions, Ness."

Jake was standing a few feet away from me. He had been standing there for several minutes now. I had been ignoring him.

I was positioned on a large rock on the hill directly above the orchard. The rock formed a sort of natural bench, smooth and comfortable enough to sit on. I was wearing sweatpants and a thick hoodie, with the hood pulled down over my brow. My legs were folded so that they were in a "meditation position," but my fingers were not folded. Instead, both palms were face up, flipping the bird.

"Ness, giving the double barreled salute to an unseen vampire with binocular eyes is not going to solve anything."

I scowled, still not looking at him. "It makes me feel better."

"Ness, if creepo actually sees you doing this—it's just going to show him that he's gotten to you."

I almost snapped a nasty DUH at him, but I stopped myself. My sullen pissy-ness had nothing to with him. If anything, Jake had been the only one I could tolerate over the past few days. The rest of my family hovered, staring at me with big worried eyes that seemed to say "At any second, she's going to blow!" Between dad and Jasper overanalyzing my every thought and emotion, and Rosalie threatening venom and gutting when they wouldn't stop—I just really needed time alone, and sitting on the rock with my middle fingers in vertical alignment seemed to placate me quite perfectly.

That's why I'd come out here, still close enough to be perfectly safe and easily monitored—kinda like an institutionalized lunatic allowed in the courtyard for "recess"—but I was still sufficiently distant from the family to block out the annoying and crazed babying.

Jake really didn't fit in the fanatical family category, though, and he looked pretty ridiculously sweet standing there so patiently, so I dropped my hands from my knees and motioned to Jake.

He was by my side in the next instant, pulling me into his lap, and burying his head into my hair. "Oh, Ness…" he sighed.

I gasped into his neck. The effect Jake had on me was instantaneous. A surge of heat flashed. The cold, blank feeling left my body, and crazed hormonal teenage girl reappeared in full force. The effect was strangely disorienting. Confusing. There was this strange sense of desperation in it. Part of my mind wondered if it was the imprint—if it had a mate-like-bunnies component programmed in there, or if the pull was the sense of impending doom that lurked in the back of my thoughts—the same pull that drove young couples rush to the altar before the young officer shipped out to battle the following morning. And then, I wondered if it might just be Jacob. Jake who was so warm and sweet and strong and knew me better than I knew myself.

Jake sensed my body relaxing, and he lifted his head from my hair, brushing aside a long strand that had snagged on his eyelashes. He cocked his head to the side, gently smiling at me.

I reach up and curled both sets of fingers under the back hook of his jaw and gently trailed them forward.

Jake's breath hitched. He was staring into my eyes carefully, very calculating. "What are you doing, Ness?"

"Do you have to ask?" I said, smirking.

Then, before he could get another peep out, I kissed him.

I pushed him hard so that his back smacked onto the cold stone, and I attacked him. My lips frantically moved against his while my hands pinned his above his head and my hips pressed into his.

Clearly, I had caught Jake completely off guard. He didn't really respond or not respond. He let himself be pinned, and his lips molded against mine, but he was neither fighting back nor retreating from me.

So I kissed him harder, and I clasped his hands into mine.

What's your problem? I want you.

His lips tried to pull away from mine, then, but I pushed back. This exchange seemed to garner a reaction from him, and I found that we were kissing roughly.

Score one for Nessie. Angry kissing.

Jake's hands broke from mine, and I let them clutch onto my waist. I felt them begin to slide upward—under my shirt. I softened immediately, willing him to take control. His hands continued to move upward, hot fingers rhythmically inching up my torso. I felt him gently begin to roll us over.

The bastard tricked me. As soon as I relaxed my grasp, he shoved me off of him and grabbed the tops of both of my arms.

"Ness, what are you doing?" he growled.

I stared at him, irate. Hadn't I already answered this question? What part of I want you did he not compute? Did I need to buy him a book to explain? Show him some of Uncle Emmie's video stash for a visual demonstration?

I growled back at him and made a swipe at the lower part of his person. Hard-on at full salute. His body did want me. I pursed my lips and raised a mocking eyebrow at him.

Clearly, this wasn't a situation that warranted a verbal response.

Jake gave me a frustrated sigh.

Well, it was his own damn fault that he was frustrated.

"Ness, we haven't talked about anything."

"I don't need to talk. I need you to shut up and assist me in getting us back to where we were before."

Another frustrated sigh from Jake.

"Jake, I need this. I need to forget. Make me forget," I pleaded.

Jake groaned. I could tell he hated the use of the word need. Stupid imprint boy. "Ness, you have to talk to me, and yes, you do need to talk to me. That, that… Olivier," he spat, "hurt you—he hurt you and he took your friend from you."

I starred at him blankly, jaw clenched.

"Ness, I love you, and we can't just pretend like nothing happened."

I tried to jerk away. "Well, since nothing is happening, Jake. Let. Me. Go."

"No," he replied simply.

"Great, Jake, you're going to force me, now, too, eh? Fantastic. You're no better than Olivier."

He dropped his hands from my arms and stared at me horrified.

I jerked away, and fled down the hill and through the orchard toward the carriage house.

Jake didn't move from the rock. He merely sat there, looking broken.

My chest panged, but I didn't stop. I threw open the door and marched up the steps to my room. I threw myself onto my bed and sobbed into my pillow.

I really, truly, madly hated the world.

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