-1Title: The Human Need

Music: Another Place to Fall - KT Tunstall

Rating: M
Warning: Yaoi yadda yadda yadda

Disclaimer: I don't own KH or FF, but I do own a snazzy painting set and Photoshop.

Pairing: CloudXRiku

The Human Need

Chapter 2

Music… Take me away. I don't want to live.

I hadn't come out of my room since the incident. I hadn't eaten, I hadn't drank anything, I just couldn't force myself to get up. Three days. Three days I lay in my bed, only occasionally moving to use the bathroom or to replace the batteries in my MP3 player.

Sora had come to see me during this time. He'd knocked on my door, pleaded with me, stood outside for God only knows how long, anything to try to get me up and out. But I wouldn't, couldn't get up. Something inside of me was broken, and the only thing I could honestly force my brain to comprehend was the twirling fan blades above my bed.

On the third day though, a shuffling from behind my door caught my attention. I wouldn't have heard it if my batteries hadn't died again, but I had, and it perked my interest, if only slightly. I cast my gaze to the door and saw a shadow through the crack beneath it. Seconds later there was a knock.

I didn't answer. I knew it was Sora, and I didn't care. I was going to stay in this room until I rotted.

The knock came again, this time more insistent. When I didn't answer, there was a grumble, followed by a loud sigh. The shadow receded, then returned as something thin and white was shoved under the door. Then it was over.

I stood silent for a few more minutes, just staring at the white envelope on the floor. It wasn't Sora. That grumbling voice had been too deep.

Finally, after what seemed like countless hours, I walked to the door and picked up the small white envelope. There was nothing written on it's surface, so I opened it up, pulling the contents out slowly.

I didn't recognize the handwriting. It was fluid and graceful, without any slips or shakes. It was done with a precise hand, much like a girl's….

Or an artist's.

If you want your canvas back, then get off your ass and meet me in the art room tonight. Same spot. You know who this is. Also, I know if you are reading this you completely ignored me at your door, so open the damn thing and pick up the box before someone else does. You're skinny enough already, it's about time you ate something.

There was no signature, but there didn't need to be. I knew who it was. That man. That damn bastard.

But he was offering me my canvas back. He was offering me my release again. But…why? There had to be some kind of ulterior motive. There was always an ulterior motive.

As my eyes scanned over the last words I became puzzled. Eat something…what did that have to do with the situation at hand? Shrugging, I decided there could be no harm in opening my door.

Beyond the solid wood entrance was a rather large box. It was at least 3 feet tall and weighed a ton. I couldn't lift it, so I pushed it in instead. Once it was safely sitting in the middle of the room and the door was shut, I walked over and examined it.

It was a normal box.

Sighing, I went into my bathroom and got a box cutter from one of the drawers. I came back and tore the package open, then blinked in surprise when I saw that the box was filled to the brim in food.

Ramen, canned fruits and vegetables, dried meat, minute rice, even tea bags lined the box. The sight of all that food made my stomach clench in pain. It had been a while since I'd eaten anything…

I gave in. I pulled out some of the dried meat and began chewing on it slowly, my stomach groaning in pain as it demanded more. Why had this man, who I barely knew, giving me food? Besides that, why was he even bothering me at all? He had been the one to barge in on my time alone, he had been the one who took away my only release. He was the evil one here. Why was he giving me food and pretending to care about my well being?

I shrugged mentally and finished the piece of meat, then shoved the box into a corner where it wasn't in the way. It didn't matter. Everything would be settled tonight. I was going to meet him.

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The art room was dark when I arrived. The door was open, but there was no one inside. There were no lights, there was no indication that anyone at all was there.

My eyes quickly adjusted to the absence of light. I walked in and sat down in an available chair, twiddling my thumbs until this man was to come. As my mind wandered off, music flowed through my head, the tunes and lyrics somehow interchanging themselves to fit my mood. Broken melodies of Fall Out Boy, Evanescence, AFI, HIM, and various other artists beginning to crowd my thoughts.

It all went away when a portable backlight was flipped on. I closed my eyes against the blinding light and jerked back, as if I were afraid.

The man walked in front of the light, his golden hair shining. Combine that with those eyes of his, and one could swear he was a god. But I knew better.

We simply stared like that for what seemed an endless amount of time, neither of us moving. It was as if we were sizing each other up. As if we could just stare at each other long enough, and something would happen.

Well, something did happen, and it had nothing to do with getting my canvas back.

"Well?" I finally asked. The blonde simply shrugged in response. It told me everything, and nothing all at once. "You aren't giving it back to me….are you?" I rasped. He shook his head. "Well, then why are we here?"

He paused a moment to look at the floor, then sat down on the table across from me. The light was still behind him, illuminating his outline and the dust swirling around his head. For some reason, it reminded me of the old paintings, where the angels or saints or whatever had glowing heads. The effect was disturbing.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"About what?" I snapped back. I couldn't look him in the eye for some reason. Not with him glowing like that. It made me self conscious.

"About whatever your problem is," the blonde replied. "I meant, it has to be something, with the way you obsess over that canvas, and how you've been living in your dorm for the longest time. You haven't been going to your classes have you?"

"What does this have to do with you?" I asked, angry that this bastard was involving himself in something he didn't know anything about. This was not just some thing he could pry into, this was not just some sit down and talk about it cheap therapy session. This was me, and what right did he of all people have to pry into it?

"Because perhaps I can help…." he said gently. I glared, my mind racing. This was a trick right? Some twisted sick trick. No one helped for just anything, it was a known fact. This man wanted something out of me…but what?

"What gives you your kicks?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. "Seeing me squirm like this? Knowing what you're doing to me? Perhaps you think you can get something out of me by doing this, some kind of feel good warm and fuzzy feeling? What is it you really want, money? Sex?"

The man blinked, as if the idea had never crossed his mind. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "I'm just trying to help you…."

"Yeah right…" I replied. "And I'm just a naive little kid. Look, whatever you're doing may work on my best friend, but I sure the hell am not going to sit here and take it."

I'm not entirely sure what got into me that day, I'm not even sure if I knew at the time. It just felt like all my pent up anger was coming out. Last time it had been depression, this time anger. Somehow it felt like my emotions were coming out, one by one, weather I wanted them to or not. The real me wouldn't have done that. The real me wouldn't be so god-damned angry at this person I didn't even know. The real me would have just cooperated.

But the real me died a year ago in a blazing fire.

"What are you so afraid of?" the man asked softly. His voice seemed to cut right through me, down to something buried deep inside my chest. Fear, there was a word I hadn't heard in a long time.

"I'm not afraid of anything…" I growled.

"Then why else would you be acting like a cornered animal?"

"I'm no-"

"Yes you are, look at you. The first time I confront you, you go ballistic and withdraw in on yourself, now that you have to face me a second time, you're lashing out. You're going through your options one by one, and you're running out. Why are you so afraid?"

I paused, unsure of how to answer. As much as I disagreed with him, he was right in a sense. I was lashing out at him….but the asshole stole my canvas dammit! He stole what was precious to me!

"I'm not scared…" I finally replied, unable to look him in the eyes. He sighed and looked down.

"You aren't going to cooperate are you?"

"No." I replied.

The following silence felt like the aftermath of a nuclear bomb, when nothing is left alive to make any noise. The only thing that could be heard was the soft hum of the backlight.

Finally I sighed and got up, preparing to leave. "If you aren't going to tell me, I'm just going to leave…" I said softly.

There was a grunt and suddenly I felt myself being lifted off the ground by a pair of strong arms. I squeaked loudly and struggled against him, but the man was a lot stronger than me.

"Let go of me asshole!!" I growled.

"My name isn't asshole, it's Cloud…" the man replied. Well, at least that explained the word on the sketchbook.

"Whatever, Cloud," I replied. "Let me go before I call security!"

"Security isn't in this area at this time of the night…" he replied smoothly. I struggled, but only made myself dizzy as the scenery flew by in my vision. After nearly a full minute, I just gave up and hung limply, letting Cloud take me wherever he wanted.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked.

"My place…" he replied simply.

"What, going to rape me?"

"Funny, but no, I've got something to show you."

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His apartment was right across the street from the college, it was small, and it was neat. Once we were inside the door he set me down. I of course decided to bolt, but he grabbed my shirt and pulled me back before I could go anywhere. Damn, this Cloud person was strong. Though, I suppose I hardly weighed anything, considering my anorexia.

After a short struggle, he finally managed to get me to the couch, where he left me while he went to go make us some coffee. I thought about making a run for the door, but the small attached kitchen was closer to the door than I was, and I knew that Cloud could catch me before I got anywhere. So I sucked in my breath and sighed deeply, waiting for this night to end. I could only hope the bastard didn't try to rape me or anything.

"So…" I said after he handed me a mug full of strong, black coffee. "Why am I here?"

He took a sip out of this stupid looking Mickey mouse mug and stared at the wall across from us. I glanced over to it, my mind barely registering the paintings covering the entire surface. There was one of just a skyscape, another of the ocean. Just normal, everyday paintings.

"Well?" I prompted.

"Tell me Riku, have you ever been in love?"

I blinked, unsure of how to answer that. Of course I had, but why did he need to know that? My stomach tightened. Maybe he WAS going to rape me. I was about to respond when he continued.

"Have you ever felt hatred? Maybe angst or extreme pleasure?"

I nodded slowly, not sure where this was going. It just seemed like the right thing to do, even under the stress I was under. I blame it now on the coffee, the caffeine having strange effects on my mind.

"Have you ever painted them?"

He looked at me with those glowing eyes, those bright, luminous, cobalt eyes, and simply stared, as if expecting an answer. As an artist, I would have immediately said yes…

But as a real person, I honestly thought about it.

I nodded slowly, not quite sure of my answer. He grunted and took another sip of his coffee, as if that had told him all he needed to know.

"Do you always listen to music when you paint?"

I nodded again.

Another grunt.

It went like that for nearly five minutes, him asking questions, me nodding, him grunting. It would have been comical, if I hadn't had this strange sense of danger lingering over me. Something about this, just didn't seem right.

Finally he asked the last question. "Do you honestly want your canvas back?"

I nodded once more.

"Then you can have it, but you have to promise to meet me in the art room at least once a week, every Wednesday."

My eyes narrowed, but I hesitantly agreed. If it got my canvas back, I would sell the moon.

We stayed there a little longer, until both our coffee mugs were empty and I felt more out of place than a kitten in a dog pound. Getting up, I excused myself, and Cloud had no objections.

In some ways, I would have preferred the rape.

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Yeah, I'm tired. I just wrote he last three pages of this in 15 minutes. That is like, a new record for me. I was seriously typing without stopping to think about anything. It just flowed, as soon as my thoughts entered my head, it made it to the paper. Man, I love being able to type really fast.

Anyways, I have only one excuse for taking so long to update: School has started, and I am swamped with work. I have 2 books to read, including "The Color Purple" which is the most RETARDED book in the history or retarded books. It's boring, and it's hard to understand. I'm sorry, but uneducated southern slave drawl is VERY hard to understand for someone used to hearing Spanglish in everyday language. The other book doesn't seem so bad, so I'm a little happy.

I also have a lot due for my art class, since I keep getting higher and higher in the ladder. I just wish that I had some sort of teacher who knows what they are doing. I have more Photoshop experience than the art teacher, and I've had it for only 20 days. Oh joy.

Not to mention the Physics homework and all that jazz. Seriously, I feel swamped right now. But I'm glad I could finish this. Truth be told, I used it as an escape, and practically broke my keyboard from trying to hit it and type fast at the same time. Now my fingertips hurt…..

Anyways, I'm done complaining. Review replies here:

Anonymous: Thanks

ChibiFrubaGirl: Thanks, and yeah, I've kinda dropped all my other stories T-T But, I'll eventually get back to them, like Waiting till the Bomb Drops, I've got a new plan for it already, so, that should be good. If I could get some ADD meds, maybe I would actually be able to finish things.

Endoresu: Lol, well, here is your update, hope it doesn't disappoint

Thanks everyone.

REVIEW OR RIKU COMMITS SUICIDE AND WE NEVER ACTUALLY GET TO THE CLOUDXRIKU LOVIN'.

-Koji