Pairings: This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Kira x Hinamori, and Renji x Rukia
Rating: M
Warnings: There is also slight OOC, strong language, and references to sexual material. There are also a lot errors that I will fix tomorrow or ASAP.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach Tite Kubo does.

Renji watched as Rukia walked away, his eyes starting to water as the thoughts from the previous day were still in his mind. He turned from the window as he watched his fiancée walk away from the division, his heart starting to break as he looked at the path that she had walked. He didn't know where she was going, but his soul started to cry out as he thought of all the possibilities, every man that she had looked at, every man that she had talked to was a suspect. Renji looked around at a world of men, all of them making him sick as he thought of every single one of them pawing at her, all of their eyes looking upon her. He fell deeper against the wall as he fought the urge to vomit.

"Abarai!" a voice called through the door.

Renji heard the masculine voice through the door, his body starting to shake. "Who's there?"

"It's me, Iba," Iba announced.

Renji gritted his teeth: Iba. Iba was the last one that he would ever expect to be with her, and not in a way that he would ever think he would be with her. Iba was far too supportive of Renji and would rather die than think of touching the Kuchiki girl. Knowing that, Renji looked back up at the door, trying to find his voice.

"Come in," he breathed as the door opened, Iba walking through.

"Madarame's lost his mind," Iba started, Renji's attention going back to the window. "He's reduced to stalking Ayasegawa… you have to talk to him and tell him to stop all of this before it gets too out of hand!"

"Let it be," Renji answered softly. "There's no solution to it so just let it die…"

"Let it die?" Iba asked as he looked at the 13th Division captain. "You were supportive during Kira's fiasco…"

"And look how that ended, Kira thinks that Hinamori is cheating on him, romancing Hisagi-san behind his back," Renji continued as Iba knelt before him to look at him eye to eye. "I was wrong, no matter how hard he tries… no matter how he wishes… he will never get what he wants."

"This isn't about Kira," Iba was more observant that Renji had wanted. "This is about you, isn't it?"

"Shut up…" Renji scoffed.

"What is Rukia doing?" Iba asked. "What is she doing to you?"

Renji closed his eyes tightly. "Shut up…"

"Is she doing what Hinamori's doing to Kira? Is she falling in love with someone else?" Iba asked, ignoring the pain that was forming within Renji's soul. "You see what happened to Kira happening to you and you don't know how to handle it. Now you want to give up on everyone because you don't get your way…"

"You make it sound like I'm being selfish," Renji argued.

"Well that's really shitty, don't you think?" Iba asked, his voice raising. "No one has ever given up on you, have they? Every time you have a problem, no one turns their back on you, yet you do it to them…"

Renji closed his eyes, feeling the anger slowly start to boil in his blood. All that had happened to him, all that he had experienced in such a short amount of time and it only made his anger rise. He looked at Iba, not wanting to listen to his words. He didn't want to hear anything that he had to say. He was always going to be wrong.

"I was thrown away by a man; he replaced me only a few months after I was gone. Now Rukia's excluded me from her life as well. She's out there with only God knows who, doing only God knows what! It's driving me crazy just thinking about it. I worked so hard, I worked so damn hard and now that Goddamn clan is taking it away from me. Well fuck them!" Renji cried out, his voice full of anguish. "Fuck everything!"

"Are you sure?" Iba asked. "Are you sure she no longer loves you?"

"She doesn't look at me the same way, she doesn't talk to me the same way, she's been avoiding me," Renji closed his eyes. "I'm fucking sure…"

"Who do you think it is?" the lieutenant asked.

"Not Hisagi, I haven't heart his white heels clicking around here, and I doubt he'd be able to run very fast in those," Renji smiled.

"Running in heels in one of Hisagi's many talents," Iba answered, his smile matching Renji's. "Not to mention, he's been getting snuggly with a certain 5th Division captain. Rangiku-san has told me all of the details that are going on between those two."

"How do you do that?" Renji asked, a slight giggle in his voice. "How do you make all of my pain go away with just a single word?"

"Just my way with words, I do the same for Ikkaku and Hisagi," Iba answered.

"Now, about those details…"

"What about being all sad and bitchy?" Iba asked.

"I already told Kuchiki Byakuya to fuck himself, what else is there to do?" Renji asked. "I want to hear about Hisagi-san fucking the shit out of Hinamori…"

"Hisagi's not fucking the shit out of anyone, they just kissed in the 10th Division office, that's all," Iba's smile easily transformed into a shit eating grin. "But the way that his hands were moving, we all know what Hisagi was thinking of doing."

"Well, looks like Hisagi-san is more perverted than we thought," Renji smiled as he thought about all of the drama that Hisagi and Kira have been through. "So when is he going to fuck her?"

"Soon, Rangiku says soon…" Iba breathed. "But I think Kira knows that Hisagi's hands have been on Hinamori recently, he won't let her out of his sight. He's hell-bent on her cheating on him."

"She has been…"

"I know, but following her around ain't exactly gonna stop her," Iba breathed. "It's only going to make this worse. Hisagi looks more appealing as the days go by…"

"And at the end of the day, the pretty boy always gets the prize…" Renji shook his head. "Damn this was predictable… I mean how could anyone have not seen this coming…?"

"A lot of people are going to be pissed…" Iba breathed.

"Well this makes me feel better," Renji smiled. "Now that Mr. Perfect in Heels is all over Hinamori, I don't have to worry about him touching Rukia…"

Renji smiled for the first time in hours as he sat back and talked about what was going on with Kira and Hinamori's failing relationship. But yet he knew he should say something to Kira, it didn't feel right being inside of him and it was only going to fester further into something that would completely shatter everything that he had worked so hard for. He knew what he would have to do, he was going to have to break Kira's heart or sit back and watch as it was completely destroyed. There was no happy ending.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Yumichika walked by the door to the office for the twenty-seventh time that day as he tried to make this all sink in. Nothing felt real ever since he was evicted from the 11th Division. As days went by it only got worse as he was forced to look at all of the old members in the face, look at Yachiru as he went to lieutenant meetings. He was living in hell.

Every pace, he would look into the office at his new captain. Kuchiki Byakuya was different from Zaraki Kenpachi, and he suddenly knew what hell Renji had been through. Every second that went by, there was another task to be done, another paper to deliver to a division. Some divisions were nicer when it came to an exchange; the 9th Division would sometimes even try to take some of the pressure off of him by delivering the remainder of the papers so that he could go back to the division and rest. But there was no rest, there was no fun, there was only work.

Yet he didn't mind anymore. The Yumichika that cared about his looks was dead; he died when the 11th Division eliminated him from their roster. His hair had grown longer; he no longer cared about how it looked. It was everywhere, fly-aways and frizzes plagued it to no end. But what really shocked the masses were the dark circles that were under his eyes. There was no time for sleep, even when Kuchiki would give him a break, he still found himself staying up all night wondering what Ikkaku was doing.

Ikkaku, although he was a traitorous snake, although there was hate toward him in Yumichika's heart, something inside of him missed the man that he had once called his best friend. He walked past the door again to get him off of his mind, that was until he caught his captain's attention.

"Yumichika…" Kuchiki called out.

"Yes, sir!" Yumichika answered, fearing the errand he would have to run.

"What seems to be the problem?"

Yumichika walked through the door to see his captain sitting at his desk looking at him with a concerned look on his face. Kuchiki never showed concern to anyone, but after what had happened to him, what Aizen did to him, he was a different man. He was more open to emotions and less closed off as he knew how painful it would be to go back to that day, to be that man again, to have to live a life that had been destroyed so badly.

"Nothing," Yumichika answered.

"It's difficult isn't it?" Kuchiki asked as he looked at the lieutenant. "Adjusting to this…"

"It is, but I'm thankful," Yumichika answered. "I don't know where I'd be if you weren't there to pick me up…"

"It was nothing," Kuchiki answered.

Kuchiki Byakuya liked digging through trash, that's what everyone had ever said, especially the Kuchiki Clan. He shunned everything that was extravagant, turning down many arraigned marriages to marry the "trash" that he had fallen in love with. He also shunned every proper lieutenant choice that he had, going only for the ones who were considered garbage, the filth of the whole Soul Society. Yumichika was thankful that Kuchiki had a fondness for digging through the garbage to find treasure.

But all tension was taken away as the door opened, a member of the 4th Division, Kotetsu Isane running through the door. "Kuchiki-taichou! Kuchiki-fukutaichou has been injured in an accident…"

Those words cut through the air as Yumichika looked at his captain, seeing a look of horror in his grey eyes. Yumichika never saw Kuchiki look like this before, nowhere in his previous travels had he ever seen someone so proper show so much emotion. Kuchiki couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, there wasn't a thought going through his head as he heard those words.

"What happened?" Yumichika asked.

"It was a training exercise; she suddenly fell in pain over and started to bleed. We don't know what's wrong with her yet, but Unohana-taichou is currently working as hard as can to find out…" Isane explained.

"Have you told Abarai-taichou?" Kuchiki asked.

"Not yet…" the lieutenant answered.

"Then why the hell are you still here? Go find Renji and tell him what happened to his fiancée!" Kuchiki's voice was filled with something that Yumichika never thought that he would hear from him. "He doesn't have a clue and you think that you can come on here before tell me before you tell him? Go to him now!"

Isane walked through the door, Yumichika looking at his captain. "Taichou…"

"Go to Renji…" Kuchiki breathed as he stood up. "Tell him that it's important. Tell him that his fiancée might be dead. Tell him to meet me at the 4th Division…"

Yumichika ran out of the division as he thought about what was occurring: this was serious.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji walked toward the 3rd Division, seeing Hinamori walk out of the doors. "Hinamori!" he yelled as he ran toward her, watching as he eyes lit up. "Where are you going?"

She looked at him as if he were accusing her of something. "What does it mean to you?" she asked as she kept walking. "I'm going to go train with Tobiume…"

Renji shook his head. "He's a good man; you should tell him the truth…"

Hinamori stopped as she heard him say those words. Her eyes were filled with fear and anger as he looked at the 13th Division captain. Her body trembled only slightly as she moved closer to Renji, trying to find words to say to him, but she could not. Renji knew everything; he knew what had happened between her and Hisagi Shuuhei, what they were doing behind Kira's back. It was transforming into a full out affair as she would lay in bed with Kira, but when he wasn't looking would "fool around" with Hisagi. Renji knew everything and he knew that it had to stop.

"What are you talking about?" Hinamori asked. "What truth? Oh, you mean the truth that I don't want to be with him anymore. I've tried, I've tried several times to tell him that this isn't going to work, but every single time he says that it will, we can make it work. I don't want something I have to make work; I want something that just works…"

"Like you and Hisagi-san…" Renji hissed.

"Shuuhei's different…" Hinamori answered.

Anger boiled inside of Renji. "Shuuhei? Did you just call him Shuuhei?" he reached out to grab her shoulders. "What the hell are you playing? Do you think this is a game? This is no game; this is a man's feelings…"

"I don't care about his feelings," Hinamori shook her head. "He ignored me when I needed him, too hell-bent on becoming a captain… Shuuhei was there for me, he was there when I felt like the world was going to end, he was the only one there. He taught me how to walk on my own feet again. Shuuhei was the only one who cared about his feelings, but he's swallowed that pride of his, he's done watching me suffer…"

"Suffer?" Renji asked. "Who's suffering here? Kira is in love with you!"

"He's in love with the thought of having someone, he doesn't care who," Hinamori breathed. "He wants someone to love him, he doesn't care who he has to level in order to get it. He's mad at Shuuhei because he's taking something from him, something that he wants more than anything."

"Whore…" Renji growled. "You're nothing but a whore!"

"You don't know what's going on here," Hinamori spat, as she pushed out of his grasp. "You don't know how happy I am now, you don't know how hard it was for me to get over the first man I ever…" she closed her eyes as tears starting to form. "I've made a mistake like this before, and if I make it again with Shuuhei, then so be it."

"You don't know what you're doing! You've tangled so many people in this web that you're spinning!" Renji argued.

"You make me sound like a bitch," Hinamori's eyes narrowed.

"What am I supposed to think?" Renji asked.

"You don't know what you're doing here. You don't know how miserable I am…" Hinamori whimpered. "You don't know how many times I've felt trapped, but I feel as though it's going to work, that I'm going to be happy. I lose myself after that and there's nothing else but my false happiness, no one can break me out of all that is going on within me. Shuuhei isn't like that… Shuuhei doesn't make me try for affection; he doesn't get me so wrapped up in him that I can't think. It feels right. It just feels natural around him."

Renji backed away from her as he absorbed her words. He knew of a time where she was like the girl that he had just described. He remembered her bring in a world that she had glue herself into. He remembered the lost lamb in the air-tight chamber. That was back when she was Lieutenant Hinamori under the control of…

"Aizen…" Renji breathed, his body starting to shudder as she looked at her. "You and Aizen…"

"What is going on here?" Kira asked as he walked out the door. "Abarai-kun what are you doing…"

Renji looked at Hinamori, her eyes begging him not to tell Kira about what they discussed. But as Renji looked at her, he realized one thing, Aizen was always going to be a part of her, Aizen was the one that she loved more than anything. Aizen was the first man that she had ever given herself to, and now she was afraid that she was going to do the same damn thing with Kira.

"I was just talking to Hinamori," Renji breathed. "I was just talking…"

Hinamori nodded. "Just talking…"

Kira looked at Hinamori. "Where are you going?"

"Doesn't matter, does it?"

"It does to me!" Kira answered back.

"Why don't you trust me?" Hinamori asked as she started to walk away. "It's not like I don't come back to you…"

"Yeah, you do, but you're gone for so long," Kira argued.

"I have a division to run; I am free to have as much freedom as you do. I'm allowed to go out and do whatever I want, whenever I want, you don't have any authority over me…" she hissed at him, his eyes narrowing in anger. "I'm going off to train…"

As Hinamori walked away from Kira, the 3rd Division captain closed his eyes and let out a groan of anguish. Renji looked at the two of them and feared what was going to happen to him down the line. Rukia and he had fought all of the time as Renji put her deeper into the trap that he called his love, and she desperately wanted to break free. He looked at the sorrow that was Kira's eyes as he realized that this was more complex than a trap. Hinamori was in pain. Hinamori was unhappy. Kira was just another Aizen. There was no hope for them.

"What the hell did she tell you?" Kira asked as he looked at Renji. "Anything about Hisagi-san?"

"No…" Renji answered as he closed his eyes.

"Have you heard anything?" Kira asked. "Anything about Hisagi-san and Hinamori-kun? Please, Abarai-kun, tell me…"

As Renji was about to open his mouth, he heard a voice call out to him. "Abarai!" it was Yumichika of the 6th Division.

Renji looked at the lieutenant, his heart stopping; this was the man who had replaced him, the man that was right under Kuchiki. But as he looked at Ayasegawa Yumichika he didn't see anything that reminded him of the one who he had fought alongside in the 11th Division, he looked completely lifeless, someone who was nothing but a husk of their former self.

"Ayasegawa-fukutaichou…" Renji looked up at the lieutenant. "What's wrong?"

The next words stopped Renji's heart dead in his chest. "Kuchiki Rukia… she's been injured in an accident…"

Those words echoed over and over in his ears as he thought about what had just occurred. Rukia, the one that he loved more than anything, was now injured. He closed his eyes tightly as he tried to understand what was occurring. She was never cheating on him. She never looked at another man. She was sick the whole time. He took a step forward a single droplet of water fell from his cheek.

"Abarai-kun!" Kira yelled. "What about Hinamori…?"

"Fuck Hinamori! My fiancée is hurt and all you can think about is getting information about Hinamori?" Renji shook his head. "Fuck you, Kira! Hinamori's right… there's nothing natural about your relationship."

"Abarai!" Kira called out as he watched Renji run away.

Renji didn't even look back as he kept on moving forward. Kira's voice was slowly fading out of his senses as he heard that Rukia was injured. He kept moving as his heart raced faster than he ever thought that it would, everything was on the line. Everything that he had ever said to her, everything that he had thought about her, everything he ad ever done to her all flashed through his mind as he ran faster toward the 4th Division. He just hoped he wasn't too late.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori walked past the 9th Division looking at the building as clouds started to build up in the sky. No matter how she tried, no matter what she did she was always going to have him on her mind. Everything stopped every time she walked by the 9th Division, she felt safe here. She looked deeper thinking about all of the moments she and the captain had shared with each other, the passion being the only thing that kept her alive as the days went by.

A smile rolled across her face as she heard a familiar clicking of heels coming toward her. "I can tell when you're coming…"

"I know…" Hisagi smiled as he walked up next to her, wrapping his arm around her. He looked deeper into her eyes, seeing a small trace of sorrow within her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Hinamori shook her head. "Kira…" she moved closer to him, feeling the warmth of his body circulate through her body. "He's so controlling. And Abarai-kun… he's onto something…"

"Onto something? You mean us?"

Hinamori's heart rose as she heard him say that. Everything that they had been through, he had never referred to him being with her. He never said that he was in love with her. Now at that moment when she looked at him, she saw something different, she saw someone who was labeling himself with her, someone who cared about her. She looked into his eyes as she heard those words and she could feel tears form in hers.

"You said us…" Hinamori smiled. "Like you're with me…"

"I think I am…" Hisagi breathed, a smile on his face. "I told you I've been thinking, I've been thinking about that day in the cell and all of the days after that and I realized the only thing that was keeping me from falling, the only thing that as keeping me alive was you…" he smiled as he looked into her eyes. "I look at you and I see something, something that I was so scared of for so long. You terrified me…"

She smiled as she moved to face him, his arms moving to wrap around her waist. "You terrified me… I hadn't felt like that about someone for a while…"

Hisagi smiled as he moved a hand to stroke her hair. "Hinamori…"

He moved to take her lips in a soft innocent kiss, Hinamori's heart racing as his arms tightened around her. All of the drama from Kira, all of the pain that she was going through while she was living in the trap was all gone as she lay in Hisagi's arms. This was everything that she wanted to be in her life. This was the last strand of happiness she would have in a while.

"I'm sorry about that," Hisagi breathed, backing away.

"You don't need to apologize anymore…" she purred as she placed a kiss on his neck, hearing his breathing accelerate for only a moment.

"Y-you and Kira… are you two over?" he asked as he swallowed hard, her lips still up against his neck.

"As far as I'm concerned," she breathed.

His body trembled as she kissed him deeper along his pulse point. "I would prefer it if you got rid of him…"

"I've tried…" she argued as she backed away from him. "Have you tried to talk to him lately…"

"Well try harder. You're miserable!" he breathed as he looked into her eyes, tears starting to form in hers. "I look at you with him and it hurts me. I know I let you go to him, but I thought you were going to be happy, I truly thought that. And it wasn't until recently when I got fed up."

She shook her head. "I don't know what to do… I don't know how to get away from him…"

"You go in there and you tell him it's not working out."

"He'll hate you…"

"I know," Hisagi breathed. "He'll hate me no matter what. I can take that hit, he'll forgive you…"

"I just could never get myself out of these situations…" she answered as she turned away from him. "He's just like Aizen…"

"Aizen?" Hisagi asked. "What about Aizen?"

"I'll tell you more inside," she breathed as she took his hand and moved toward the 9th Division door. It was time that she was able to shed some light on what really happened in her past. She had to lock the last gate.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia looked up at the captain and lieutenant of the 4th Division, both of them with worried looks on their faces as she finally came to. She looked around the room, the walls of the 4th Division haunting her as she felt her body ache with pain; this was never a place anyone wanted to be. When a shinigami thought of the 4th Division, they thought of death. She glanced around again as she realized what had happened, tears coming to her eyes.

"You're lucky…" Unohana started saying, trying to ignore the tears that were forming in Rukia's eyes. "You're going to be alright… but…"

Rukia looked up at her. "But what?"

Unohana shook her head as Isane looked away from the 13th Division lieutenant. The captain finally spoke. "You suffered a miscarriage…"

"Miscarriage?" Rukia asked. "I was…"

"Pregnant," Isane finished the sentence. "You were around three months pregnant, Rukia-san…"

The 13th Division lieutenant closed her eyes: pregnant. She thought back to it and it all made sense, the pains, the way that she felt, it all added up. She was going to be a mother, and Renji was going to be a father. She touched her stomach lightly as tears formed in her eyes; nothing that she did was right, Renji thought that she was isolating him when she should have been holding him close. She was still unable to let him into her life even now, a tear rolled down her eyes as she heard the door open.

"Rukia," a voice called out.

Rukia looked up. "Nii-sama? What are you doing here?"

"I heard about your accident," he answered, a dash of concern in his monotonous voice. "Are you alright…"

Rukia looked at Isane and Unohana; they weren't going to say anything. She knew that all of the information about her miscarriage. Rukia, although surprised, was glad that they were going to keep that secret. How could she face her fiancé after she had just lost what could have been his son? How could she face any man with that information? She closed her eyes tightly as she heard another person enter the room, her heart breaking as she looked at his face.

"Rukia," Renji called out as he ran to her side. "You had me worried so much…"

Rukia his the tears in her eyes as she looked away from him. "I'm sorry that I worried you…"

Renji then looked at Kuchiki. "What are you doing here, Byakuya?"

"Why such harsh feelings, Renji?" Kuchiki asked.

"No reason, how's that new lieutenant of yours working out?" Renji scoffed. "I see you got one pretty damn fast…"

"It wasn't easy for me to run a division by myself…" Kuchiki answered. "You didn't make it easy. You were so involved, how was I supposed to put all of your involvement on top of my involvement, I'd go insane…"

"Welcome to my life," Renji rolled his eyes.

"Yumichika needed a place to go; I needed a lieutenant, so we are doing each other a favor…" Kuchiki continued with annoyance clear in his voice. "I have a lot of things on my mind right now…"

"And I don't? My fiancée was in a serious accident!" Renji scowled as he pointed at Rukia. "She was… what did happen to her?"

Unohana was the most skilled captains when it came to keeping the peace. "She was hit by a rogue kidou spell… she's going to be alright…"

"Kidou?" Renji asked as he looked at Rukia. "Are you alright?"

Rukia nodded as she watched Renji keep on talking, all of the words fazing out. She couldn't look at him, she couldn't listen to him, she wasn't worthy of any of that. As she looked at her fiancé she saw someone who deserved better, someone who deserved someone who would give him everything that he desired, someone who wasn't weak. She wasn't that girl that he was looking for. She was nothing.

This chapter delves deeper into the Hisagi x Hinamori relationship, something that we will see more of in the next chapter. The next chapter will also have more Rukia reflecting on her relationship with Renji after she loses their child. Get ready for a lot of sexual content throughout the rest of this story (there will be at least three lemons that I have planned.)

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