Chapter 2: Mission

Rockspark hesitated, then turned and loped towards the medicine den. He needed someone to talk to about his dream. He would just have to... be imprecise and beat around the bush, making sure Mintflower only knew he was feeling survivor's guilt.

Because, technically, he was.

That just wasn't the whole truth.

Sparkpaw was so angry she didn't look where she was going.

She was storming angrily away from the Pool, feeling very hopeless and abandoned and sorry for herself, so unfortunately she didn't see Echosong until it was too late. Sparkpaw bumped into her, bounding off the medicine cat's silver shoulder.

"Sparkpaw?" she said. "How are you? Watching over the ones we've left behind? Ah, yes..." Echosong bent over the water, beckoning with her tail, so Sparkpaw had no choice to follow her glumly back to the Pool.

"Looks like Branchfeather is talking to his son... do you know what's wrong?" asked Echosong, but Sparkpaw knew what she was doing. The medicine cat knew precisely what was going on, and she knew Sparkpaw did too. She'd been up here four seasons longer than the medicine cat, and still Echosong was testing her! Like she was still a learning kit!

"Of course I do!" she snapped, nearly stamping her foot with anger.

Echosong looked anxious. "Look, I know it's hard to leave them behind, Sparkpaw, and watch them grow up without you, but—" began the silver tabby, but Sparkpaw cut across her. She'd been hearing this lecture for eight seasons. She didn't need to hear it again.

"Yeah, right, you know its hard, Sparkpaw, but there's nothing we can do, Sparkpaw, I understand, Sparkpaw, it's hard for you to die so young with all your life ahead of you, Sparkpaw, but that's the way fate is, Sparkpaw, so just suck it up, Sparkpaw," interrupted Sparkpaw, her temper getting the better of her, her voice curled mockingly.

"Well, actually, you don't understand what it's like! You don't know how it feels to watch your friend grow up and never be able to yourself! You don't understand what it's like to wish you had a second chance at life, and then realize you don't know what you'd do with it! Would you do the same thing? Let him die? Die again yourself?

"Do you know what it's like to be in love then die before you can say anything? Do you know what its like to always be told that StarClan is all powerful, then get there and find out that you can't do a single thing? Do you know what its like to give up your life and get no gratitude for it? No, you don't!" Sparkpaw spat, glaring at Echosong.

The medicine cat looked shaken, but she gathered her expression into a sympathetic one. "Sparkpaw, I know there's nothing I can say to comfort you, but I'd just like to ask you for a little patience. I have an idea."

"Eaglepaw! Eaglepaw!"

Eaglepaw looked up from where he'd been dozing as Branchfeather stopped in front him. Branchfeather saw him open his mouth to retort, then realize his mentor, deputy and father was the one speaking, and got to his paws respectfully.

"Branchfeather," he mewed, dipping his head.

"Come take a walk," offered Branchfeather, making it sound like a request and not an order. He resisted the urge to say Cut the fox dung and come with me. He wouldn't just start yowling at his son. That wouldn't work.

"Okay..." said Eaglepaw, looking politely curious.

Branchfeather led him calmly across the rocks, trying not to betray his uncharacteristic rage. Inside, he was fuming. Was Eaglepaw really as clueless as he was pretending? Did he really not understand why Branchfeather was taking him on a 'walk'? Was—he—serious?!

They walked silently along the river, not speaking. Branchfeather could almost feel the tenseness in his son's step, feel the apprehensive way he kept shooting glances at Branchfeather. It gave him a strange and unfamiliar satisfaction to know that his son was getting the beginning of his punishment, just with his uncertainty as to what his punishment was going to be in the fist place.

They turned away from the river and walked among the long shadows to a place where the unset hit the ravine wall in such a way that there was only a single long ray left, shining like a gash in the earth. Branchfeather tried not to think about this place and the stab of pain he kept feeling in his chest like a thorn. He turned to face his son.

"Eaglepaw, do you know where we are?"

"Mintflower? Mintflower, sorry, do you have a moment?"

Rockspark called softly into the medicine den, looking around in the fading light. He could see stacks of herbs (and smell them), a little shaft of dim sunlight from the other end of the cave, and a dark figure bending over a huddled lump of fur on the cave floor.

Mintflower straightened up and turned to face him, smiling warmly, but he could see past that. She was very stressed.

The lump of fur was a small, spindly apprentice, whose bright spirit was broken by her weak, deadly ill body. Since birth, she'd wanted to be a warrior, the greatest of all. She'd been apprenticed to Rockspark, to his excitement, and they'd gotten off to an excellent start, she learning and listening carefully, excelling everywhere, and only lacking in total energy, like her brother.

He was snobby and assumed he knew everything, always trying to prove he didn't need any cat's help. His stamina was as tough as a rock's.

Hers was as frail as a butterfly. Soon she could hardly get up in the mornings. She'd been in the medicine den since, for a moon, hope and will lost to the sickness.

And none of Mintflower's herbs seemed to be helping.

"Hey, Splashpaw," he mewed quietly, smiling warmly. She'd reminded him a little of Tinystar when she was young, with the spirit of Sparkpaw. He swallowed that thought quickly.

"I'll wait out here," Mintflower murmured, stepping out of the den to wait for Rockspark.

"Hey," she said, rolling over slowly to face him. A teasing look crept into her deadened eyes. "You said you'd bring me shrew to eat yesterday, but you didn't even come, I bet Eaglepaw got all the shrews, and it's not fair, Rockspark, he's always better and everyone likes him more than me! Not fair," she said again, pouting. Rockspark was laughing. She'd always done a great impression of her brother.

He tried it, being excellent at mocking people in their own voices as well. "well, Splashpaw, its your own fault your lying in here, and I'm definitely not gonna waste my time catching you a shrew when you're too lazy to even get up and clean out the Nursery!" he imitated Eaglepaw, strutting around with his fur puffed up and his chest thrust out like a bird. They laughed together for a long time.

"Sparkpaw, listen. StarClan may not be all-powerful, but I can help you," Echosong mewed, looking slightly stern.

Sparkpaw had long passed the line, so she had no trouble now ignoring Echosong and stalking up the slope.

"Sparkpaw, you can walk their dreams and talk to them, if you'd like," said Echosong softly.

Sparkpaw stopped walking.

Without turning around, she mewed quietly, "They don't care about me anymore. It wouldn't help. They forgot. They wouldn't care if they remembered either."

Echosong stared at her. "I... Well Sparkpaw, I know that's not true, and you know that too—" she began, but Sparkpaw cut across her.

"Watch them," she said softly. Her quiet defeat was worse than her snarling anger. "You'll see. I wouldn't want to bother them with something they don't want to think about."

She turned around and walked away through the bracken.

Her head lowered in hopelessness, she dragged her paws through the lush green forest. She hated it here. It was too perfect. She would live forever here, with no cat to talk to, no one to understand how she felt—

Echosong caught up to her clanmate. Sparkpaw didn't look at her. A void seemed to have opened up in her chest, sucking all the love and anger and hope out of her. The only feelings she still felt.

Echosong sped up and stepped in front of Sparkpaw.

"Sparkpaw." she said. "You can't just give up hope. That's not what Rockspark would do, is it?"

"Am I supposed to care what Rockspark would do?" asked Sparkpaw quietly.

"Yes," replied Echosong firmly. "You may still look like an apprentice and have the name of one, but I know you have the bravery and have endured the pain many of the greatest warriors never have. And I know you love him, Sparkpaw. He loves you too."

"What do you know about love...?" Sparkpaw began under her breath, but she stopped. Am I just trying to give up hope? she thought. She turned to face Echosong. "Okay, what's your brilliant idea?"

"It's not a brilliant idea," Echosong replied. "You just need to talk to them."

"Rockspark, what's wrong?" asked Mintflower. They were standing outside the medicine den in the half-light of twilight, Splashpaw finally asleep.

He gazed off in the distance. "Well... I... I keep having these dreams... and... well..." Hesitantly, he explained the problem, taking care to make it sound like he was just haunted at night, and not every day.

"Well, I've found that when..." Mintflower thought for a moment before continuing, "when I have something to occupy myself with, its easier to fall asleep and not dream. Unless, of course, StarClan is trying to tell you something."

"Why would they send me those dreams?" demanded Rockspark, forgetting himself, "it's not like there's anything I can do! It's too late to save her!"

Mintflower stared at him. If cats could blush, Rockspark would have turned as red as the setting sun. "I mean... is there?" he asked slowly.

"No," replied Mintflower quietly, "I'm sorry, Rockspark, I know survivor's guilt can be terrible when someone gives their life to save you. It's almost like death would have been better." She gathered herself back into her usual brisk get-it-done attitude with a sigh. "So when did these dreams start?"

"About a moon ago..." began Rockspark, but suddenly something clicked. "Wait! You're right! Something to occupy myself with! Splashpaw stopped training a moon ago, and then I didn't have anything more than my normal duties to do, so I started having the dreams!" He beamed, then realized he was no closer to figuring out what to do about it.

Mintflower, however, continued to smile. It was a slightly sad but also triumphant smile as she gazed into the distance and out at the mountains.

"Rockspark..." she began, "I have a suggestion. It may sound odd, but what if..." She trailed off.

"What?" asked Rockspark.

"What if..." Mintflower said as she turned to face him, "you... left the clan and... went to look for... for a... for a cure for Splashpaw?"

Rockspark gaped. "That," he said, "is a brilliant idea."

"So you'll find the cure?" asked Mintflower, beaming.

"Yes," mewed Rockspark, "Yes I will."