Pairings: This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Hisagi/Kira, slight Ikkaku/ Yumichika, refererences to Renji x Rukia
Rating: M
Warnings: There is also slight OOC, strong language, some other sexual references, slight homosexuality, and references to: violence, death, and war. There are also a few errors in here, thank you for putting up with that.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Tite Kubo does.
"Madarame Ikkaku has been spending a lot of time in this building," Kuchiki announced as he ran a brush though his hair, looking in a mirror. "Any reason for that?"
Yumichika started blankly at the reflection of his captain as he heard those words. He didn't want to think about the moment that he had shared with that man. The passion of that moment had taken him over; it had possessed him until there was nothing left, and in that low moment he had acted on all of the frustration and emotion within his body. That moment was a moment that he had wished to forget. He could never walk down that path that he had walked down before. He could never be the man that Ikkaku wanted him to be.
"He's just bothering me," Yumichika sighed.
"We you don't have to worry about that tonight, only captains and lieutenants are allowed to go to the gala that Ukitake has planned. Something about this doesn't make me feel safe. Ukitake-dono isn't the type to just randomly celebrate accomplishments. Something huge is happening…"
"Whatever it is, did wish to speak to Hisagi-taichou yesterday, about what I don't know, but he's been acting tense since this morning. Something has to do with Hisagi-taichou, but I don't know what it is," Yumichika explained as he looked at his captain. "You seem unusually chipper these days. I thought nobility was all about structure."
"Nobility is only a word, Yumichika. My whole clan has been trying to run me out of power for a while now. They think that I'm trying to sully our clan until it's all mud. You send a mutt into a room full of purebreds and there's sure to be a fight."
Yumichika looked at his captain; he saw something within him that he had never seen within anyone in the 11th Division. Kuchiki Byakuya was beautiful, his ivory skin resembling porcelain, untouched by even the might of the sun, his long black hair was pristine, not a single strand out of place. As he looked at his captain, he saw the differences between the 11th and 6th Divisions. The 11th Division was gruff and hasty; the 6th Division was more reserved. Was this the feeling that Renji had experienced when he was promoted to lieutenant? As he looked at Kuchiki Byakuya he was feeling emancipated, he had been saved from the fires.
"Are you alright just letting everything go?" Kuchiki asked, breaking Yumichika out of his thoughts.
"Why not? They let me go pretty easily, why shouldn't I feel the same way?" Yumichika asked.
"Because it's hard, knowing something so well, and then in an instant when everyone's looking at you it all changes. You will always long for those old stares, those old words that were said to you. You long for something that reminds you that you're… alive, that you can still breathe," Kuchiki looked up at Yumichika. "Something to prove that you still feel."
"You make it sound hard to adjust."
"It's always going to be hard, when you lose what you were and have to start all over again," Kuchiki breathed as he turned back to the mirror. "Remember that…"
Yumichika closed his eyes as he thought of the words that his captain had just said to him. Everything had changed for him; he walked down the streets and didn't get the same looks that he had always wanted to get. Everyone was looking at him like he wasn't even real anymore. The only one who looked at him the same was Ikkaku; he was the only one who linked him to reality. Ikkaku reminded him that he was still breathing; he reminded him that he was still alive. As he looked at his captain, he understood what he was trying to say, and as he looked at himself in the mirror he saw what had happened to him.
His beauty had faded over the course of time that he had spent in the 6th Division, he had become lifeless as he left the 11th Division behind, and as he looked at the captain again, he knew that he had noticed the changes in the man as well. Yumichika used to only care about beauty, but he though that they had killed that Yumichika. As he thought of what had happened to him, he closed his eyes tightly. He had buried himself alive.
0o0o0o0o0o0
"I've noticed you've been around the 6th Division lately," Zaraki announced as he watched Ikkaku walk by him. "Any reason for that?"
Ikkaku closed his eyes as he realized that his captain had caught on to what had been occurring between him and Yumichika. All of this time he had forgotten that his captain had been noticing what had been occurring in his own division. The 3rd Seat had been running off taking odd missions that he used to never take like delivering paperwork and blowing off missions that he used to have gladly taken. These days, Ikkaku had been a different person, and although his captain was not a genius, he was not dense.
"Just delivering papers…"
"Isn't that trash there?" Zaraki asked. "I hear that he's the lieutenant."
"I guess," Ikkaku answered.
"Yumichika's really lucky that that panty-waist is so hell-bent on going through the trash, otherwise he would have been dead by now," the 11th Division captain explained.
Ikkaku never understood how his captain could speak so coldly over someone. He was never like this before the new captains were promoted. But as Ikkaku thought about what had occurred, he knew why. Zaraki hated Hisagi Shuuhei. When he looked at Hisagi all he saw was the weak lieutenant who had bossed his division around, the man who now had Aizen's heart in his chest. A lot of people no longer trusted Hisagi, all they saw was the man that Ichimaru had killed that day. They saw the second coming of Aizen Sousuke, a case that Kurotsuchi Mayuri had been trying to prove since the surgery had been complete.
Tonight was the night when all of the higher officials would gather, Ikkaku knew that Zaraki's attention would never break off of Hisagi, that man was an abomination that had to pay for the curse that he had plagued this world with. He had to die for his sins. Ikkaku sighed as he knew that his friend was going to be safe.
"So what is tonight about?" Ikkaku asked.
"Probably something to do with that beast that they call Hisagi Shuuhei," Zaraki sighed as he stood up. "The last thing that we want is to push him any higher throughout the ranks. That's why I have no choice but to be involved in the society that Ukitake has created."
Ikkaku closed his eyes as he realized that even after the death of Aizen, they had gotten nowhere. They were always going to live as if they were at war, but this war had no enemy they could vanquish. This was a war within themselves.
0o0o0o0o0o0
"Soi Fong!" Hisagi cried out as he watched the 2nd Division captain walking with her lieutenant. The captain looked at him with a look of annoyance and boredom. She didn't care for Hisagi, that's what Ukitake had said to him.
The whole world was starting to turn against him; he had nowhere to go to escape it. Everyday he looked around predicting who was going to be the next to turn on him. Kurotsuchi had wanted to kill him from the beginning, Zaraki wanted to kill him the second the surgery was complete, Soi Fong was the most recent one to turn on him. He had watched the other captains, watching the way that they looked at him. Ukitake was never going to turn on him; he was going to try to protect him. He also new that Hinamori would always stay loyal to him as she had fallen in love with him months ago. Kira and Renji also wouldn't turn on him as they wanted so much to keep him alive. He also knew that Komamura and Kuchiki wouldn't want to kill him as they saw the chance of an Aizen takeover very slim. And if Unohana turned against him an outcry would fill the whole Soul Society, she was the one who put Aizen inside of his chest.
However Kyouraku and Hitsugaya were different stories. Kyouraku looked at him like he was unsafe, like he could explode at any moment. The 8th Division captain never cared much for Hisagi and only put up with him because Ukitake did. Hitsugaya never thought that it was a smart idea to save Hisagi's life in that method from the start. Now if it wasn't for Matsumoto begging him to reconsider, he would have turned on Hisagi a long time ago. But he also wanted to keep Hinamori's heart in one piece. The second that Ukitake and Hinamori weren't in the picture, he knew that his life was going to change for the worst.
"What do you want?" Soi Fong asked, judging by the tone of her voice, Ukitake was right.
"I heard that you've recently turned on me."
"I'm surprised more haven't. When Tousen gave you possession of Kyouka Suigetsu, I always had this feeling that you were going to destroy life as we all know it. You have more power than you should, Hisagi-taichou," Soi Fong answered.
"This is about Kyouka Suigetsu?"
"This is about the safety of this whole society. If Aizen ever got his hands on you…"
"Aizen's dead," Hisagi interrupted. "Or did you miss the part where they took his heart out of his chest?"
"I didn't miss anything. Do you know how much of him is within you? We don't know what he did right before he died. You could have Aizen inside of you just waiting to strike," Soi Fong explained as she looked into his eyes.
"Talking to Kyouraku? You're starting to talk crazy."
"Kyouraku has reasons for doubts," Soi Fong breathed. "You know that he's against you, right? You know that he wants to cut that heart out of your chest and burn it."
"What's stopping him?" Hisagi asked as he closed his eyes tightly. "I'm not going anywhere."
"We discussed this at a meeting before," Soi Fong answered, watching Hisagi's eyes close. "You were in the 4th Division…"
"You take habit of talking about me like I'm not alive?" Hisagi asked as his voice started to break. "And you're on that side? Goddamn it!" he started to walk away. "Damn it!"
"I never said I was on that side," Soi Fong breathed as Hisagi stopped. "I just don't feel safe. I proposed that we let you act as a captain as usual. But the second that any danger ensues we are to detain you, and we are to try to find a solution. I never wanted to kill you. Kurotsuchi and Zaraki are the ones who want to kill you right now. Kyouraku and I want to wait."
"Wait for what?"
"By the time Aizen takes you over, Hisagi Shuuhei will be dead. You will be Aizen Sousuke, you'll be gone forever," Soi Fong shook her head. "I know that one day it'll happen, but right now we can't be sure when."
"You know it's going to happen?"
"We have to assume the worst."
Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he realized that this was a curse from day one, there was very little he could do to stop this curse from happening. He was doomed to execution the second that Unohana and Ukitake put that heart in his chest, and now with every beat, he felt his body start to shutter as he knew that he was going to die. He looked at Soi Fong as he felt a sensation of disgust within his body.
"I won't let them kill you," Soi Fong breathed, Hisagi's body freezing at the sound of those words. "While you are still Hisagi Shuuhei, I won't let anyone lay a finger on you. While you are still within that body I will protect you… I don't support you fully, but I understand that you are still alive."
"Tell that to the rest of them…" Hisagi scoffed.
"Only Kurotsuchi and Zaraki want to kill you, everyone else thinks that you are worth more than that," Soi Fong explained. "We won't let anyone hurt you, unless they want another civil war."
Hisagi nodded as he heard those words. The blood of the civil war still raced through the Soul Society as they looked back on the day when Ukitake and Kira were attacked. But this time it would be different, it would be over him.
0o0o0o0o0o0
"Do you think it's wise to send Hisagi to Hueco Mundo?" Kyouraku asked as he watched Ukitake put his haori on. "You know what dangers that could cause."
Ukitake shook his head. "He's not Aizen, Kyouraku. He's still Hisagi-kun, and as long as he is Hisagi-kun I'm going to trust him."
Kyouraku shook his head as he heard Ukitake say that. Right now he was Hisagi, the next moment he could be Aizen, or he could reinstate what Aizen used to be. Hisagi was the last living component of Aizen; he was the last piece that could bring him back to life. When Kyouraku looked at the 9th division captain, all he saw was chaos, the end of the Soul Society. He made him feel uneasy.
"When are you going to stop worrying about that?" Ukitake asked.
"The day when I know that Aizen can't come back, last time he came here, he killed Yama-jii and almost killed me and Byakuya. I don't know if I trust that power just gallivanting around the Soul Society without supervision," Kyouraku shook his head. "He needs a lieutenant."
"To help him with papers?" Ukitake asked. "He's self-sufficient."
"No, to guard him, he's Aizen bait," Kyouraku answered as he took a step toward the captain commander. "Hisagi Shuuhei needs a strong lieutenant who can at least put a scratch on Aizen at forty percent power. Juushirou, aren't you scared of what that boy can do to this place. He could destroy it with a snap of his fingers."
"He won't!" Ukitake shook his head, frustration in his voice. "If you want to kill him, go talk to Kurotsuchi and Zaraki, I don't have time for your schemes. I don't have time for these conspiracy theories. All I have time for is keeping the peace."
"And you think that we'll be at peace. Ichimaru Gin and Tousen Kaname have both said that there's a chance that Aizen isn't dead! Do you want to take that chance?" Kyouraku asked, watching Ukitake stand up. "You're putting Hisagi in danger."
"And killing him will save him?"
"It'll save his pride," Kyouraku answered, watching Ukitake walk toward the door. "Do you want him to have the same fate as Shiba Kaien?"
Kyouraku watched as Ukitake froze at those words. Kaien died with only an ounce of his pride as his body was taken over by a hollow. Kyouraku knew that Ukitake could see the connection between Kaien and Hisagi as Hisagi was going to lose his life to Aizen if he ever did resurrect. The pain that was going through the captain commander went through Kyouraku as they knew that day would soon come.
"What do you think we should do?" Kyouraku asked.
"We'll know when it happens. Right now nothing is wrong with him. He's still Hisagi-kun, and I'll be damned if I lose that," he looked away from Kyouraku. "I approved the surgery that made him like that; I'm the one who allowed him to become the way that he is. He's not going to die, not as long as I'm alive."
As Ukitake walked out of the door, Kyouraku knew that what he had just said may happen sooner than they all had hoped.
0o0o0o0o0o0
"You seem to have gotten along just fine since Tousen left," Komamura breathed as he watched Hisagi walk away from Soi Fong. "You're already acting like an experienced captain."
"Well if I show any fear then they'll eat you alive, right?" Hisagi asked as he looked at the 7th Division captain. "Besides I have to work twice as hard so that they all understand I'm not the coming of the Apocalypse."
"Given the choice between living and dying what would you have chosen?" Komamura asked as he looked into the other captain's eyes, Hisagi tensing at the question. "Would you have chosen to have Aizen's heart?"
Hisagi shook his head. "I don't know. Part of me is thankful that I'm alive; I never wanted to cause Hinamori or Kira any pain whatsoever. I never wanted them to suffer throughout my actions. Yet there is another part of me," he closed his eyes tightly, "who wanted to die that day. This isn't the way that I wanted to live; this isn't the way that I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Watching as everyone starts to turn on me. Sooner or later it's going to be Kira who's leading my execution."
"To execute you, we will need a majority of the Gotei 13 captains to agree. You have a majority on your side, and you're going to convince them that you aren't supposed to die. You aren't Aizen Sousuke, you're Hisagi Shuuhei…" Komamura answered, watching Hisagi look away as Zaraki entered the room. "Ignore him…"
"Have you heard what he wants to do to me?" Hisagi asked. "He wants to kill me."
"He's not going to lay a hand on you," Komamura breathed as he looked at Zaraki. "None of these men are going to lay a single finger on you."
Hisagi shook his head until his attention was drawn to the next captain who walked through the door, Abarai Renji looked different. Over the past few days Renji had always looked depressed, alcoholism taking over his life. Tonight he looked different, he looked reborn. All of the drama that was occurring between he and Rukia was gone, in that moment, Hisagi knew that the Kuchiki Clan would have to back off.
"Abarai looks happy," Komamura said.
Hisagi looked deeper into Renji's eyes as he saw him start to engage in conversation with Kira. Both Kira and Renji had pulled themselves out of their depression well Hisagi was still looking at their backs as they walked miles ahead of him. As they were gaining happiness, he only fell deeper into his own sadness. As he looked around the room, he knew that so many of these men would hate him by the end of the year. It had been almost five months since his surgery, the surgery that was going to cost him his life. He closed his eyes tighter as he knew that it was only a matter of time before they all wanted him dead.
"Are you alright, Hisagi?" Komamura asked.
Hisagi shook his head. "I don't feel very well," he answered as he started to walk away, toward the door to finally go outside and get some fresh air.
As he stood outside, he closed his eyes tightly. Tousen wanted to save his life. Tousen wanted Hisagi to keep on living, but he knew as long as he had this heart in his chest, he would never be able to. His life was over before it even began; he was nothing more than a dying ember of what his life used to be. He used to be strong, people used to praise him, now all they saw was the second coming of Aizen. He closed his eyes tightly as he put a hand over his chest; he was doomed to be like this.
"Are you alright?" a voice called out as he heard footsteps come closer to him. "I've never seen you move so fast before…"
Hisagi turned around, his heart stopping as he looked into those eyes. He felt his body start to shake as he looked at Kira Izuru standing before him, tears starting to form in his eyes as he thought of how he was to hurt him again. His body shook harsher as Kira came closer.
"You've been acting strangely…" Kira breathed.
"I haven't been feeling well…" Hisagi answered with a smile, trying his hardest to fake one. "I just needed some fresh air."
Kira walked closer to Hisagi looking into the night sky. "The stars are beautiful tonight…"
"Yes… yes they are…" Hisagi breathed as he looked at Kira, watching the man turn to look into his eyes. "The stars are about the only thing that is beautiful tonight. Everything else is such a mess."
"That's not true…" Kira breathed. "I think that you're beautiful tonight."
"Flattery… will get you no where, Kira," Hisagi sighed.
"You can tell me what's wrong…" Kira looked into Hisagi's eyes, Hisagi's body tensing. "I don't like seeing you like this. It pains me to know that you're going through something so difficult and you won't let me in on it. You don't have to go through it on your own, I'm here…"
The next moment was something that Hisagi Shuuhei wished that he could take back. At that moment, he felt Kira's lips press up against his, moving passionately against his. Hisagi closed his eyes as he fell into the kiss, running a hand through Kira's blond hair, feeling the 3rd Division captain start to move closer to his body, as his arms wrapped around him tighter. A single purr bubbled from Hisagi's lips as he felt Kira's tongue pass his lips. The kiss was enjoyable, until something brought them back to Earth.
"What the fuck are you two doing?" a voice called out, it was Renji.
"Abarai!" Hisagi called out as he pushed Kira away, the 3rd Division captain, trembling as he saw what was occurring. "Abarai… let me explain what's going on before you blow it out of proportion…"
Renji shook his head. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he looked straight at Hisagi.
Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he shook his head. "I don't know, I don't know…" he walked by Renji as he looked back at Kira. "I'm so sorry, Kira…"
Kira looked up at Hisagi as he started to run away. "Isai-san!"
"Don't follow me…" Hisagi begged as he disappeared into the main room.
Everything was starting to become blurry as he walked deeper into the room, feeling as though all eyes were on him, all of them even more disgusted with him than they were before. He closed his eyes as he heard Komamura's voice call out to him, looking around at the other captain feeling everyone else looking at him, their words going through his body as they scowled at him.
He looked up at the 7th Division captain who had a look of concern on his face. "What's wrong?"
"Where's Hinamori?" he asked as he looked around the room. "I have something to tell her."
0o0o0o0o0o0
"What just happened?" Renji asked as he looked at Kira. "You know damn well that Hisagi-san and Hinamori are together now. What the hell did you do that for?"
Kira closed his eyes tightly as he thought back to their kiss. Did he regret it? He thought back to the feeling of Hisagi's body so close to his, those lips up against his as he felt that harsh breathing roll through his body. He could still smell Hisagi's scent as he took every breath, that purr still within his ears as he thought back to that moment. Did he regret it? He could never; it was the most beautiful moment of his life.
"It felt right."
"Don't tell me you still have that crush on Hisagi-san. I thought you got rid of that when you met Ichimaru. And you got rid of that when you got closer to Ukitake-soutaichou. What are you trying to do?" Renji asked. "What are you trying to do? Are you trying to break Hinamori's heart?"
"Hasn't something ever felt right to you? I mean, you and Rukia, you feel right together, don't you?" Kira asked, his voice shaking. "That kiss… it felt right. When I looked into his eyes and I just couldn't control myself… I couldn't…"
Renji shook his head. "You know how the Soul Society is going to look at this. The 3rd Division Captain can't make up his mind and leaves Hinamori for Hisagi."
Kira closed his eyes as he heard those words, something rolling deep inside his body. Those words from Renji's lips started something deep inside of him, something that he wasn't going to stop. He was going to prove to everyone that it wasn't true. He was going to prove to himself that he didn't need Hisagi Shuuhei.
0o0o0o0o0o0
"What is this all about?" Hinamori asked as they walked into one of the corridors away from everyone else. "What's going on, Shuuhei?"
He looked into her eyes and all he saw was the pain that the war was going to cause her. He was going to go die, he was going to give everything up just to prove that he was better than Aizen. As he looked into her eyes he saw the tears that were about to roll down her cheeks as she knew what was going to happen. But what she didn't know was what happened with Kira, she could never know that.
"You know what this get together is about, don't you?" Hisagi asked as he walked away from her, not looking at her, not being able to look at her.
"Yeah, the upcoming war…" she breathed. "What's wrong with that?"
He looked at her; he wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her about how Aizen was the only thing that everyone; he wanted to tell her about how he had no dignity left. He wanted to tell her about the kiss with Kira. He wanted to tell her about all of the pain that he was going through, but as he looked at her, he couldn't find the words to say, he couldn't find the strength to talk to her about it.
"Two captains are to lead the troops in Hueco Mundo," he swallowed hard. "I'm one of those two captains."
He looked into her eyes, watching them start to glisten with tears as she looked deeper into his eyes. She moved closer, her arms wrapping around him, his skin starting to crawl as he thought about Kira's hands all over him. He had enjoyed that kiss too much. It made him wonder if he could ever enjoy being with Hinamori again. As he heard her start to cry in his arms he closed his eyes tightly.
"I know you probably hate me, but I have to do it."
"Why? Why you? There are twelve other captains who can go."
"This is my chance to get everything that I lost back. I can come back a hero."
"Or you could die like a dog," she whimpered as she moved closer to him. "I don't want you to go, we can do something else. We can find another way to get your respect back."
"I'm afraid, there is no other way," he whispered. "I'm sorry…"
She looked deep into his eyes as she said the next words, every syllable going deep through his body. "Then stay with me right now. Stay here with me… while you still can…"
He closed his eyes tightly at what she had just said, but he obliged her request, but the thought of Kira kept rolling through his mind as he remembered that kiss, his body shuddering as he realized that he could get by that, he had to get by that. He couldn't look at Kira that way, and he could never tell Hinamori of what had happened: never.
This chapter had some Hisagi/Kira but they are going to be important to the ending. I hope that pairing doesn't upset anyone as it is going to be mentioned for the rest of the story and a possible sequel that I have for this.
This is also the first appearance of Soi Fong, she will also become more important later on.
The next chapter is going to continue during the rest of the get together and the war will finally be announced as well as the second captain who is going to war being revealed to the audience. This story is really winding down.
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Feel free to review.
The next chapter will be up sooner.