Pairings: This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Hisagi/Kira, Renji x Rukia, and Ikkaku/Yumichika
Rating: M
Warnings: There is also slight OOC, somelanguage, sexual references, homosexuality, and references to: violence, death, and war. There are also a few errors in here, but I actually read through this chapter. This is also really late, thank you for putting up with me.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, Tite Kubo does

Hinamori remembered that look in Hisagi's eyes as his secret was revealed. He had kissed Kira. As she watched him walk alongside her she could feel the pain that was going through his body. She couldn't believe everything that had happened, after he had tried so hard to get her, only a few moments later he was locking lips with the man that was trying to keep them apart. As she looked at him, she knew that he must have felt some sort of guilt.

There they sat in the 9th Division on different sides of the office, even though it had been a week since that moment, she still couldn't fight the emotions that were going through her mind. Every time they kissed she could taste Kira, every time they made love she knew he was thinking of him. She looked at Hisagi as he looked at her from across the office.

"You haven't said anything for three hours," he breathed with a nervous smile. "I'm going crazy here…"

She looked at him, seeing the pain that he was feeling as the silence continued. She saw the look in his eyes as she finally met his, his body froze as he looked away. Everything that had happened, that moment where he had kissed Kira to the moment where they had continued in silence, she no longer knew what world she was living in. She looked at Hisagi and all of the love that she had felt was slowly dying as he kept her eyes on him, her heart breaking as she felt that sensation.

"I don't know how to say it again…" Hisagi sighed. "I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me… that's not how I wanted you to find out…"

"Then what did you want? To tell me?" she asked as she shook her head. "How did you think I'd react?"

"I didn't think you'd be alright with it for a week and then all of a sudden be pissed again!" he yelled as he stood up. "I've apologized and apologized but you just can't accept my apology, can you?"

"I don't know…"

Hisagi shook his head as he tone in his voice changed, he was no longer attempt to make amends, he had given up. "Fine, don't forgive me…"

"How do I know you're sorry? How do I know that you don't love him?" Hinamori asked as she looked at the captain.

"Because I destroyed everything: my name, my friendships, my sanity! I destroyed all of that for you! Not Kira! You!" he shook his head as he looked away from her. "Maybe… we don't love each other anymore… maybe we never did. Maybe this was all a huge mistake…"

Hinamori looked at Hisagi, was this how she wanted to spend her last few moments with him? Fighting over something that was so small? As she looked at Hisagi she felt a deep sorrow within her body as she thought of the war and how there was a chance he was going to die. The countdown was happening; it had already been a week since the time that Ukitake had announced it, she only had a little over a month left. She looked at her lover and realized that this could be the end of them, forever.

"It's not a mistake… I love you…" she breathed as she looked into his eyes. "It's just sometimes…"

"Sometimes what? You don't think I love you? I kissed one guy. It's not like I'm in love with him. I had a low moment… very low," he looked into her eyes as a smile rolled across his face. "Extremely low."

She looked into his eyes. "I know… I guess I'm just scared…"

"Scared of why?"

"You, going away…" she shook her head. "I have no guarantee that you're going to come back…"

"I'll be back," he smiled. "I promise…"

"You promised Kira-kun that you would come back then too…"

"I really promise…"

She shook her head. "Don't promise me anything. It'll only hurt more when you don't come back to me…"

He sighed. "But I will be back…"

She smiled as she closed her eyes. "I know you will…"

As the moments went by she could feel the hourglass start to lose sand, the time that she had with Hisagi slowly disappearing as every moment passed. She walked across the room to be closer to him, feeling the fleeting warmth of his body, feeling the fleeting sensation of him being with her. She closed her eyes tightly as she rested her head on his shoulder, a tear rolling down her cheek as she wondered if they were going to survive all of this. She closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his body. They were going to make it.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ikkaku walked out of the 11th Division, he couldn't stay here anymore. He had to leave while he still had the chance to keep some of the sanity that he had known to love. He looked into the distance; he heard a voice call out to him.

"Where do you think that you're going?" Zaraki asked as he walked toward him.

"Away…" Ikkaku breathed.

"Where is away?" Zaraki asked. "Are you going to the 6th Division again? I've received complaints, but I didn't want to believe it. You're still talking to him aren't you?"

Ikkaku closed his eyes tightly as he heard those words, his body starting to shudder as he thought of everything that he had been through. His whole life was destroyed because of this man. Once he thought this was what he wanted, once he thought that this was going to keep him content forever. Once he thought that everything was going to work itself out, they were all going to live happily ever after. The end, everything would work out for the best. Now as he looked around, he knew that wasn't the case.

"Yes," he answered. "I am. What are you going to do? You can't stop me!"

"Why?" Zaraki asked.

"What do you mean?" Ikkaku's voice was thick with rage.

"I don't see why you even want to talk to that weakling."

Ikkaku shook his head. "That man is stronger than I am; at least he knows when the times are changing. Four lieutenants are now captains. We're at war. Ukitake is the soutaichou. Aizen is dead. Ichimaru and Tousen are on our side. This is something completely different and I feel as though during all of this, I'm the one who hasn't changed at all. I'm the one who is still behind everyone else. No more," he turned away from his captain. "I can't be the one who sits still when everyone else is moving forward."

"How can you call that forward?" Zaraki asked. "They filled spots after people died. Those cowards are now on our side because Ichimaru has the bitter taste of revenge in his mouth. There is no change, there is only the false hope that you want to be called change. You are buying into this shit."

"False hope? How can it be false when I feel it like it's real? When Yamamoto died, we all thought hope was dead as well. Then Ukitake-sama stood up and he took the position that he had felt was his right. And those lieutenants, those stupid kids…" he smiled. "If they can do it, I can do it… I can't remain this backward fool that I've been, hanging onto dreams of the past. I have to go my own way."

"If you walk away, don't come back to the 11th Division…"

Ikkaku didn't have to think of that as he walked away from his captain. Getting rid of the 11th Division was the best thing that he had ever done. Now he felt free. For the first time in his life he felt as though the times were changing. The Soul Society couldn't go back to how it was before.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"You volunteered for the war?" Rukia asked as she looked into Renji's eyes. "Did you even think of how it would make me feel?"

Renji shook his head. "Someone has to go…"

"Why you?"

"Why not me?"

"Don't give me that bullshit!" Rukia closed her eyes as she couldn't look at him. "There are other captains. There are more people who could go. Why did you choose to go in their place when you know that I need you here…"

Renji closed his eyes as he felt her sorrow. Was he even thinking of her when he made that choice? That was what she was getting at. He remembered the day when he walked in on Hisagi, he was so broken, he needed someone to be with him, he needed someone to lean on. Hisagi had lost everything as Renji had gained so much, he was stuck watching the comrades that he had once held so close fall into despair while he experienced a happiness that they had all wanted. He knew that he was being selfish; he knew that he was going to hurt her. He knew a lot of things, but as he tried to tell her, he couldn't. He couldn't give her the reason of why he needed to go. He didn't quite know himself; he just knew that Hisagi needed him.

"I know," he answered. "But I'm needed there as well. They need someone the 11th Division will work well with. You know the other captain is probably Kira or Hisagi…" he closed his eyes. "They won't listen to either of them… and if it is Hisagi they need someone who has enough sense to tell those 12th Division swine not to cut that heart out of his chest. I'm need there because I'm the only one who can save those two."

"Hinamori…"

"Can't save them," Renji interrupted. "Hinamori's emotions toward Hisagi-san are too clouded, she isn't emotionally able to protect him the way that I can. You know that no one is more qualified than me."

"I was scared when I heard you became a captain. I knew something like this would happen. I knew you'd leave me…" she breathed.

"I'm not going to leave you," Renji smiled as he closed his eyes, as she moved to embrace her tightly. "I'll be back… I promise…"

As he said those words, he knew that he shouldn't have. There was no guarantee that he was going to come back to her. There was no guarantee that she would even wait for him to come back. But he said to shave off tense emotions, yet the emotions were not hers, they were his.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ikkaku walked deeper into the 1st Division as he thought back to his captain. He knew that he was going to have to leave that division; the second that Yumichika was no longer there he had no home. He walked deeper as he thought back to the words of Ukitake, he had to do what he needed to do, he had to do what his heart wanted. He couldn't do what everyone else wanted him to do, it was time for him to stand up and make a choice.

Was this how Yumichika felt? Was this how he felt on the day that Zaraki let him go? He was nothing more than a homeless dog that was on his way to the only home that he could ever have. He walked closer to Ukitake as he thought of all that had happened. This was the choice that he was going to make. His pride and his promise were the same thing: they were Yumichika.

He walked through the door to see Ukitake standing there, his dark eyes looking down at him as he realized he was there. Ikkaku walked closer to see the soutaichou looking at him, a look of surprise on his face.

"Madarame?" Ukitake asked. "What are you doing here?"

Ikkaku looked at the soutaichou. "I have a request…"

Ukitake raised an eyebrow as he looked at him. "A request?"

Ikkaku smiled as he said the next words. "I quit the 11th Division today."

"What?" Ukitake asked. "You quit the 11th Division?"

"I couldn't be there anymore. I couldn't be in a world where I'm going to stay the same in the ever-changing world. I mean isn't that what you're all about: change? How can I be the same when everyone else is acting so differently?" Ikkaku asked. "I don't want to act the way I did during the Yamamoto days."

Ukitake nodded. "I see where you're coming from, but now what are you going to do? You don't have a job."

"That's where you come in…"

"Go on…" Ukitake looked at the former 3rd seat, a look of curiosity and excitement on his face.

"I would like to become your lieutenant."

Ukitake smiled as he heard those words. "I was wondering when you were going to ask that."

Ikkaku smiled as he looked at the soutaichou, change was upon them. This was going to be the first step to a new world. Everyone was transforming into something better, he was not going to be left behind. Not this time.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira walked into the 9th Division, a look of despair on his face. "Just tell the truth," he said as he looked at the 9th Division captain. "Tell the truth now or just cut it out!" he took a step forward.

Hisagi looked up at Kira. "What are you talking about?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. You've been leading me on," Kira shook his head. "This whole time you've been teasing me. Stop it, Isai-san! I can't take it anymore. You're making it difficult."

Hisagi rolled his eyes. "I haven't done anything."

"What about that kiss?"

The room became silent at that moment, Hisagi's eyes locking with Kira's as the 3rd Division captain's body started to shake. Tension filled the air, the two of them looking into each other's eyes as they thought back to that moment. Hisagi looked away for a split second, anger bubbling within Kira as he saw the gesture. Hisagi was trying to make it seem as though it never happened, but Kira knew better. Out of anger he walked closer to the desk and slammed a hand against it.

"Damn it, Hisagi!" he shook his head. "Why are you being like this? I know you didn't do that by mistake. You have been trying to get closer to me for a while. That's why you got with Hinamori; you want to be with me so you took her away from me so that I had to wait for you!"

"Why would you say something like that?" Hisagi asked as he looked into Kira's eyes. "I'm not using Hinamori to get to you. I love her…"

"Stop saying that!" Kira groaned. "You don't love her."

"Is this to fuel some fantasy that I'm in love with you?" Hisagi asked. "It's not like that. We were at war that whole time. The tension, all of the stress, I acted out on it. It was a mistake Kira…"

"Then let me ask you a question," Kira's eyes were starting to water. "That kiss… did you mean it? Or were you just overtaken by the moment like you say you were?" Kira asked as he looked deeper into Hisagi's eyes. "This whole time, the whole war between the two of us has been over one thing… neither of us really love Hinamori."

"That's a lie," Hisagi backed away from Kira. "I love Hinamori more than anything, Kira. One kiss isn't going to take that away from me."

Kira closed his eyes and sighed, Hisagi's heart skipping a beat as he looked at the 3rd Division captain. His heart started to melt as he looked at him, his body shuddering as he came closer. The feeling of Kira so close to him, made him tremble, his breath halting as he felt Kira's hands pull at his haori. He closed his eyes tightly as he heard the garment hit the ground, feeling Kira's arms around him in a passionate embrace, his breath falling gently into his ear as he closed his eyes tightly.

"Isai-san…" Kira whispered. "I don't want you to go…"

Hisagi froze as he felt Kira's arms wrap around him. "I have no choice…"

"You could die…" Kira panted as he rested his forehead on the crook of Hisagi's neck, hearing a muffled cry from the 9th Division captain. "I don't want to lose you… it's like I just got you back after what Aizen did and now I'm losing you all over again."

"I'll be back…"

"How can you guarantee that?" Kira asked as his hands tightened on Hisagi's back, his handfuls of cloth tightening. "Isai-san… please…"

Hisagi moved his fingers to run through Kira's golden hair, his fingers trembling as he felt Kira's breathing speeding up, both of their heart rates sky rocketing. As he kept tracing through the golden locks he thought of that kiss, he swallowed hard as he remembered the way that Kira's lips felt up against his, his body shuddering as he moved his fingers to gently caress his chin, moving his head to look into his eyes.

"I-Isai-san…?" Kira asked as he felt Hisagi's breath moving closer to mix with his. "I don't want you to leave without knowing whether something is true. Did you mean that kiss?"

Their lips met again, repeating their sin as Hisagi's hands moved to push the haori off of Kira, hearing the blond moan at the feeling of Hisagi so close to him. Thoughts of Hinamori flickered in his mind as he kissed Kira, memories of the love that they had shared for one another. Everything rolled through his mind as he kissed Kira, yet he still was unable to let him go. Something deep inside of him wanted to do this, whether it was the lust that he body craved or the will of his heart, he didn't know, he had a feeling he would never know.

He had lost control of himself at that moment as he found his fingers gently getting Kira out of his uniform, his lips assaulting his neck, shoulders, and chin. Every breath that passed Kira's lips was only fuel for the fire as he took his lips one more time, feeling Kira's trembling body against his feeling a single tear fall down his cheek.

"Isai-san…" Kira breathed as Hisagi left his lips, his body trembling harshly as he felt Hisagi so close to him, his body starting to shudder as he ran a finger along the scar that was on Hisagi's chest. "I…"

"I know…" Hisagi breathed as he placed Kira on the desk, still kissing at his neck.

"Isai-san…" Kira panted as he felt his lips up against his neck. "Please…"

Hisagi scoffed as he backed away from his best friend with a smile. "You came in here to seduce me because…? If you don't have feelings that you want to act upon before I die, why did you come here?"

Kira took a deep breath as he looked into Hisagi's eyes, his body trembling. "I have wanted you for a while…" he reached out an arm to pull Hisagi's closer, resting his head on his chest. "But something about this… doesn't it feel wrong?"

"I'm going to die…" Hisagi answered, watching Kira's body tremble as he said those words. "Can you live with yourself not doing this?"

Kira closed his eyes tightly. "Do you love her?"

"I don't know…" Hisagi closed his eyes, a tear forming in his eye. "I think I do but you… you make it difficult…"

"You have a whole war to think about it, and then you'll come back with your choice. Her or me…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tighter as he thought of those words that came out of Kira's mouth. His nerves were at unease, as the situation flared up into something bigger. This was going to alter the rest of his life. Suddenly the war didn't seem so daunting.

0o0o0o0o0o0

He stood outside of the 6th Division, closing his eyes as he thought about the day. He had given up the chance of a lifetime and started over. He left the 11th Division with no regrets. It was only then when he was able to see what he had lost. Yumichika was more than friend to him and it too him this long to realize it. After all of the years, all of the time they shared he never felt the way that he had felt around him earlier as he watched him walk alongside the other lieutenants. He was different.

"Yumichika!" he called out as he watched the lieutenant walk away from him. "Wait!"

The lieutenant looked over his shoulder at his former division member. "What is it now, Madarame?"

Ikkaku looked into Yumichika's eyes. He looked different than he did before. He looked even more beautiful. He had taken everything that Ikkaku had said to heart, he had finally fallen into a comfort zone, feeling as though he could survive in the new world he had become entwined with.

"It's been a while," Ikkaku stated.

Yumichika rolled his eyes. "Go back to the 11th Division…"

"I can't," Ikkaku stated as he watched the lieutenant freeze. "I quit."

"What?" Yumichika asked. "Are you retarded? The 11th Division meant everything to you…"

"No, it meant everything to us," he walked toward Yumichika. "Without you it's pointless to be there. I can't live in that place when I know that you're in another division, so far from me…"

Yumichika closed his eyes as he turned around. "Stop it. I told you to leave me alone…"

"I never did take a habit in listening to you," Ikkaku smiled as he looked at him. "When are you going to learn that?"

"Ikkaku," Yumichika breathed. "I…"

"Don't say anything," Ikkaku breathed as he walked toward him. "I know…"

At that moment he was overtaken by everything that was within him and he grasped the lieutenant, pressing his lips forcefully up against his in a kiss. The moments of protest were short lived as Yumichika soon melted into the kiss, his arms wrapping around Ikkaku, his body starting to become heavy as the contact became more intense.

Yumichika closed his eyes tightly a small coo passing his lips as Ikkaku's tongue invaded his mouth. It had been so long since they had been together, so long since the moment where Zaraki had banished the former 5th seat for having a "weak" zanpakutou. Now it seemed like all of that was forgotten, all of the strife was washed away for a moment.

"Ikkaku…" he breathed as they separated, his eyes watering. "I missed you…"

"I missed you too," Ikkaku responded with a sly smile before kissing him on the forehead. "I love you…"

Yumichika pressed closer against Ikkaku's body, his eyes closing tighter. The kiss intensified as they thought back to all of the moments that they had shared. Everything that they had don e together was all for this, everything that they had ever felt for one another was slowly becoming sang out loud as they moved closer to each other. And as Ikkaku pressed himself harsher against Yumichika's body he knew this is what he had wanted for all of his life.

This chapter is the second to last one, the end is near for Kaleidoscope, there is a sequel however called Broken Wings that I am starting to work on and will be out after this is done. Look forward to seeing that (it will focus more on the choice that Hisagi makes between Kira and Hinamori.)

Also all of the spots are filled except for 9th Division lieutenant which will be filled in the next installment.

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