MILEY'S POV

"Fucking asshole."-I spoke to the alarm clock, smashing it against the wall wishing it was dad. His gut all over the place. I walked to the bathroom getting so freaked by looking at my reflection that I almost stabbed my eye with my toothbrush. Wow, I really need to eat. I looked at my bony self in the mirror. I look as If I were a Cullen, all pale and crap; except that I look like shit. Anorexia does not suit me so well. Look at my ribs all sticking out. Disgusting. I hadn't come out of my room in about 3 days. I've only ate half a subway, which by the way was rotting under my bed and a couple ounces of water from y faucet.

I should be at a hospital right now. I'm not even exaggerating. That vodka did it's job right. All I took was 2 cups and I was done. It's like a 2-ton truck ran over me, well not really but I felt so bad. My back ached badly from sleeping on the hardwood floor. I looked at my face on the mirror again while I brushed my teeth. My eyes were puffy and lets not even start about my horrid hair. A monkey's ass was definitely more fuckable than me right now. Good thing I don't have any Hannah gig these weeks. I'd loose all my fannahs looking like shit.

Oh joy, these scenes, replayed in my head. She looked to cute when she said that. I shut my eyes annoyed and resorted to taking my much needed shower. Poor maid.

"God, yes"- I moaned as the burning water fell on my naked back. I wish I could spend my life here and not care about anything…but when do things I really want come true? Yes, Im Hannah but I've give all this fame, the money and whatever good thing I have just to kiss her once. Once, that's all I needed. I rested my head on the wall as tears streamed across my face getting mixed with the water pouncing on my back.

I know I'm being selfish. Who wouldn't like to be n my shoes right now? Famous, young, talented and beautiful. I know what you're thinking. Just let me lie to myself. It's not like I actually believe it.

I've never fallen in love before. Neither Jake or Craig ever meant anything. Our relationships were about 2-3 years long, yet I never felt that little spark when I saw them. Kissing them never left me with the tingling feeling that made me think that "the whole world stopped," and all that bull crap. In fact, I felt kind of grossed out, kissing Jake was sloppy he was the worst kisser in the face of the earth. Kissing a dog would give me more pleasure.

I scoffed, at my luck. It sure as hell wasn't at the dog joke I just made.

How ironic is it that when I finally fall head over heels in love it's a girl and not just any girl my fucking sister!!! I don't think I've ever heard of a girl who masturbates thinking about their sister. Ejem, me! I mean couldn't she be a little less tempting? Here I go again every time I saw her I always ended up the same way: making up a new excuse as to why my sheets needed to be changed and every day closer to arthritis. I know, I know; its wrong. Masturbation can create addictions and what-not but it is literally impossible for me to even think of stopping after one of our press conferences or any award. I've even done it in the limo. I know. Desperate is a synonym for Miley.

I wonder if we'd have to see each other now.

That's such a dumb question.

Knowing dad, he'd do anything to get me and Mikayla to reconcile. Why did they have to find out that she was my sister now? Why couldn't they find it out after we died or something. Why couldn't I have been happy for at least a month with her?

Who am I kidding? Even if she weren't my sister she wouldn't have paid the least attention to me. How dumb is it for me to think that? She hated me since she met me. She started the little feud I wasn't part of. I hated fighting with her so bad but I needed to see her. "What am I gonna do now?" - as soon as I say this my phone rang. I sure pray its not a Hannah concert PLEASE. I grabbed a towel and ran out of the restroom almost tripping on the floor. Another reason why she doesn't like me. I'm the biggest klutz I know.

"Hello. Who's this"-I didn't even bother to check the caller id. I wonder why I got the iPhone in the first place.

"Hi, Miley"

"Hello."-I replied annoyed.

"I heard." -I rolled my eyes knowing exactly how she heard it from. Oken.

"Oliver's such a snitch."-I took the first things I saw from my closet. I thought I'd thrown this skirt away. Dad and his disgusting taste. I wish he'd realize that I just turned 17. Any normal girl would never wear skirt with a cross-eyed unicorn on the side. Heck, what should I be talking about. I'm the farthest thing away from normal.

"Why didn't you call to tell me?"

"I didn't want you to see me like this."-I smiled. I loved her so much she would never do something that would hurt me. I knew this, she was always there when I needed her.

"I don't want to hear excuses. Just meet me at the beach in ten minutes."-she hung up. Great what I needed, half of Malibu would get to see me like this.