Look at me, look look! I updated again! Are you proud of me? You better be. How great was AWE, by the way? SO great! Oh my GOD, I must see it again. If you wanna read my ...ermm..."review" of it...find my livejournal, which is in my profile under "homepage". (shameless plug, yes, but I'm lonely over there)

Reviewers who hoist the colours:

16aqua: Yup, bizzare as a platypus. And they're pretty bizzare.

PoisonousAngel: Ahh but its more fun having them argue. You never know, though. They might get along someday.

Ogreatrandom: Thanks! Its harder than it looks, isn't it?

PIRATEical ELF of Mirkwood: Yes, it SO did!

iiceangel3.o: Thank you! Yes, she does need more respect, doesn't she?

ONWARDS.

"So what makes you think you're worthy enough to crew the Black Pearl?" Gibbs was asking a crusty old sailor. They were back in the Faithful Bride tavern in Tortuga. The usual small scuffles in the corners of the pub were happening with pirate wenches looking on eagerly. They were at a small rickety old table near the entrance, interviewing a very very small line of pirates.

"Truthfully, I've never sailed a day in me life," Said the old pirate, "I figured I should get out and see the world while I'm still young."

"So, you dont know how to sail...and yet you come to join a crew of pirates..." Amy said slowly. "You are aware that you're missing a crucial skill, right?"

Gibbs threw a roll of paper (parchment?) at her head and asked the old man to sign it.

"Next!"

The next pirate swaggered forward. "My wife ran off with my dog...and I'm drunk for a month...and I dont give an ass rats if I live or die."

"Great." Amy said sarcastically.

"Perfect. NEXT!"

"Me have one arm and a bum leg."

Amy whacked her head against the table and flopped onto the floor in despair, her boots still resting on the chair she was sitting on. She was losing faith in the human race.

"This is rediculous!" She said to Jack, still on the floor. "Why dont we just put up a big sign over our head saying We're desperate?"

"Because we are." Jack admitted. "If it's got a pulse, it's hired."

Amy rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows. "You'd get more people if the sign said free cookies. Or free rum."

Jack pondered this for a moment.

"How're we doing?" He asked Gibbs.

"Including those four? That gives us...four." Gibbs replied.

Amy growled and pushed herself to her feet. Plonking herself down on the chair, she asked the next sailor "Alright, what's your story?"

"My story..." Came a low, familiar voice. Amy looked up. If she had dog ears, they would've perked up. "It's exactly the same as your story just one chapter behind."

Amy assumed he was talking to Gibbs then because if it was the same as her story, then it would be very strange. She turned around to make this remark to Jack but found herself face to face with nothing. She looked around and saw Jack very slowly edging away.

"Commodore?" Gibbs asked.

"Not NOT anymore, weren't you listening?" Norrington growled.

Amy remembered that angry Norrington was not a good person to be in company with. Since he was leaning close to Gibbs, she silently slid off her chair, unnoticed, to hide with Jack.

"Oh he's angry, he's angry, he's angry." Amy mumbled.

"Please shut it."

"Hey, you made his wig get scruffy. You're doomed."

"You haven't said where you're going." Norrington said quietly. "Somewhere NICE, I hope!" He tipped over the table in a rage and the pub went deadly quiet.

"Get the plant, the plant!" Jack hissed and Amy grabbed a large branch from a nearby pot and shielded both of them behind it. They shuffled in unison, away from the ex-Commodore.

"So am I worthy to serve under Captain Jack Sparrow?" Norrington roared to no-one in particular. "Or should I just kill you now?"

Amy peeked out from behind the leaf and came nose to nose with a pistol. She stepped swiftly behind Jack, who ducked back and forth behind a post.

Jack thrust the plant at Amy and said "You're hired."

"Sorry," Said Norrington. "Old habits and all that."

Just then, a pirate restrained Norrington, forcing the pistol upwards. As it fired, the bullet bounced off the ceiling and smashed a man's bottle. Clearly, the man was not finished with the drink and wasn't happy about it being broken so he whacked the man next to him. Like a chain reaction, that man punched another man. Soon the whole pub had got the idea and a huge fight was quickly unravelling. The music started up again as the brawl ensued.

Amy let out a quick burst of laughter at the obscurity as she avoided a pirate falling from the ceiling from swinging on the chandelier.

Jack quickly forced her head down as a bottle was thrown at the wall behind her.

"Time to go?" He called above the noise.

"Aye!" Came the reply from Gibbs.

Amy threw the remainder of the plant she was still holding into the chaos and followed Jack up the stairs.

She flattened against the wall as a pirate came hurtling down the stairs, followed closely by a very large, cackling woman. As she watched them go past suddenly everything went dark. Amy panicked, thinking she had gone blind, but then realised a large hat had been placed onto her head. She took it off and grimaced, it wasn't her style. She threw it behind her shoulder and kept pushing her way through the crowd.

Jack plopped another hat on his head and turned to face her. Amy screwed up her face and shook her head, it was way too big for him. He shoved it on the head of another guy who promptly fell off the balcony. Amy peered off to see where he fell and saw a familiar face sword fighting in the crowd. She squinted to work out who it was but Jack pulled her out of the way as someone else was tossed off the balcony. He marched her by the shoulders out of the tavern.

"Well that was productive." Jack commented, as they made their way back towards the ship.

"Trust us to come in and start a riot." Amy grumbled, brushing bits of broken glass out of her hair.

"If it wasn't us, it would've been someone else." Jack said, shielding his eyes from flying fragments of glass. "We just saved them the trouble."

They reached the docks where the Pearl and most of the crew was waiting for them.

As Jack, Gibbs and Amy approached they heard someone call Jack's name behind them.

"Come to join me crew, lad? Welcome aboard." Jack said, not bothering to see who it was.

"I'm hear to find the man I love." Said the voice again.

Gibbs and Amy both turned around at this remark and saw Elizabeth dressed as a pirate. Jack looked rather worried since he hadn't turned around.

"I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea." He said flatly, gesturing for Gibbs to get her out of here.

"Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow." Elizabeth said.

Amy spun Jack around to face her.

"Elizabeth!" He said before turning to Gibbs and muttering, "Hide the rum."

Gibbs sheltered a bottle in his jacket and went running up the ramp.

"You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all, it should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin." Jack teased.

"Jack!" Elizabeth said. "I know Will came to find you, where is he?"

Jack paused then said "Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this..."

Amy choked with laughter and bent double to stop Elizabeth seeing. Jack leaned on her back to keep her down.

"But.." He continued, "through an unfortunate and entirely unforseeable series of circumstances which have nothing whatsoever to do with me..."

Amy bit on her fist to stop herself from laughing but stood up fully again.

"...Poor Will has been pressganged into Davy Jones's crew." Jack finished.

"Davy Jones?"

"Oh please," Norrington scoffed, having finished throwing up. "The captain of the Flying Dutchman?"

"Why, d'you know another Davy Jones?" Amy asked.

"You look bloody awful." Jack said to him, "What're you doing here?"

"You hired me." Norrington replied. "I cant help it if your standards are lax."

"You smell funny!" Jack retorted.

Amy grinned and clapped Jack on the shoulder. "That's my boy."

"Jack!" Elizabeth interuppted. "All I want is to find Will."

Jack thought for a second, then his expression changed.

"Ohh no." Amy muttered. "You've got that look on your face, Jack. That's your I'm-getting-a-plan face!"

"Are you certain? Is that what you want most?" He said to Elizabeth.

"Of course." She replied.

Amy groaned.

"Because I would think," Jack said, leading her slightly away, "that you'd want a way to save Will most."

"Yeah, because thats so different." Amy grumbled.

"And you'd have a way of doing that?" Elizabeth asked sceptically.

"Well..." Jack said, putting his hands together, "There is a chest..."

"Ohh dear." Said Norrington and Amy in unison.

"A chest of unknown size and origin." Jack continued.

"Which contains the still beating heart of Davy Jones." Pintel added as he walked past. Ragetti mimed holding a beating heart with his hands as he and Pintel carried a crate of rum onto the ship.

Amy had had enough of this voodoo and picked up a crate of green bananas to haul aboard the ship.

She sighed, "Why am I doing this?"

"I ask myself the same question." Ragetti said somberly, ahead of her.

If I dont update soon, please give me a poke.

Much love.