Disclaimer: Hellsing and all other associated copyrights owned by Kouta Hirano, Genon, et al. Should any one of these parties wish it, I will remove this story at once.
Damn budget cuts Integral thought.
Hellsing had been under siege for some time. Not form the undead, but something worse: Bureaucrats.
"Economy's in a downturn...Pie factories need the money...budget cuts."
So here she was along with Alucard and Seras, listening to people and their plans for how they bring in money. Today it was Mr. Clayton Schiel from some toy company Integral had never bothered to learn the name of, pitching dolls of all things.
"Hello, I am Clayton Schiel from Regal toys", he started.
"I know who you are, the point, please."
Uncertain how to handle that, he moved on.
"We've made a line of action figures"
"Dolls", Integral interrupted.
Choosing to ignore it and get on with the presentation, he quickly put out three dolls from his box on the table: Seras, Alucard, and Walter. The Seras doll immediately pitched forward. Seras folded her arms over her chest.
"I am not that big" she said blushing.
"Uhh... we have also put in voice technology in some of the dolls."
Desperate to move past the faux-pas, he tapped the Walter doll on the back. It instantly snapped its arm up and said.
"Would you like some tea, bitch?"
Integral glared at the doll.
"Ahh... I'm not sure how that made it by QA." Bastards, he thought, thats what they were laughing about!
Completely panicked, he jabbed the Alucard one, hoping for a miracle.
"I am not compensating!"
Alucard snarled at the offending doll. Integral smirked.
"Amusing", she said.
Clayton let out the breath he wasn't aware he was holding. Glad for any good sign, he reached for the box, tipping it over in haste. The rest of the dolls tumbled out and before he could gather them back up, Integral snatched one.
"What is this?" she demanded, furious.
It was an Integral doll in an open-chested dominatrix outfit, complete with a whip.
"I like that one" Alucard stated, unheard by everyone.
"Ahh... uhh... oh crap... uhh... should I be running now?"
"Yes" Integral snapped, reaching for her gun.