State: Chapter 03: A Fall of Faith

Concerned Characters: Kite, Tsukasa, Bear.

Pairing: No pairings as of yet

Disclaimer: See chapter 01.

A/N: All right, I wanted to post this chapter sooner, but I was having some difficulties with the .hack//sign timeline setting. Since it isn't the happiest chapter in the bunch (no, really?), I'll upload the fourth soon to compensate. Better not feeling too down while reading I think...well it depends...

Also, I'm going to take liberty on this story, even though I'll follow the storyline of sign for a while. And I forgot to mention the fact that I never played the game, so I'm probably going to do some errors on various stuffs. If you see one, I'll be glad to be informed on this. This is why I'm sorry I couldn't answer your question about Kite's weapon, Frostbite, but I believe his current weapon(s) level should be at least as high as the Prepare to Die blades Moonstone gave him.

Enjoy as you can!

Chapter 03: Fall of a faith

He could not tell anymore how many hours he spent here, nor did he care. The young Wavemaster was walking around Mac Anu without much to do, but without dark thoughts either. In fact, his mind could have as well been empty, it would not do much differences. Now he had a way to really think of The World's illusion as real, he couldn't spoil the luck. Maybe some others would have felt terrified; anguishing at the idea of getting trapped in a video game, but Tsukasa wasn't one of those people. He wasn't sure how long it was since he wanted to get away from his other life; he didn't try to think of "the other world". His previous life was no more than a blurred image, glimpse of disheartening moments without many senses to them.

He could just feel they were nasty.

He sat on the edge of the canal; legs moving slowly, below, the slow flow of water could be heard. Some boats with players or NPCs inside were calmly gliding across the surface. Realistic ducks sometimes had to avoid them.

The Delta server was the easiest and most popular of the five servers. It was the beginner's server so a lot of people would meet here. Tsukasa had never met anyone here himself, but even now he could see a group of friends chatting joyously away from him. He had no need for that, he thought, he felt better when he was alone.

His reflection eventually came to the pesky Heavy Blade he met in the dungeon. The girl had found him later at the Chaos Gate and kept following him. She was very straight; one kind of person he disliked.

He played with his staff a moment, lazily watching another boat pass by. Why did they keep annoying him? First the rude Heavy Blade girl, then, the Blademaster moralist. Why did they try making him think they cared? He knew nobody cared about anything but themselves! This was something his other life taught him.

His eyes widened suddenly as he recognized the man in the boat he was staring at. It was one of the Crimson Knights, an ingame organization which were self-proclaimed justice renders. He had an unfortunate meeting with them not too long ago and the look the knight was giving him showed he had not forgotten it, and was ready to settle matters in an merciless way if necessary.

Tsukasa wisely decided it was time to leave. He quickly got up, and hid in the crowd.

The red-clad Twin Blade who arrived in the advanced metropolis of Carmina Gadelica some hours after this made much less noise. One of the main reasons for this was because it was quite late. There were very few players left in town, as Kite noticed. Which just meant he would not see his new partner for a while, considering he respected some curfew.

He had pondered his decision for some time before asking for a partnership with the PK. He had not seemed responsible enough for Kite to trust him with his true intentions, but he was still a good fighter and the only familiar face he encountered since his awakening -as well as being the only face he had met, actually. If Kite's situation was as bad as he currently concluded, he would need any help he could find.

The reason why he was only visiting the root town now was because he was feeling better after thinking of everything which had happened while he was alone. He had gone back to the area's field however; even with his warm clothes, he had still felt the cold of the dungeon.

He paused and looked at his gloved hand. The reason he was not able to feel the floor when he woke up was because he was now feeling the tight texture between each of his fingers. He was no longer holding his controller, no longer pressing buttons to play or open the menus, which caused him some troubles to figure out how to send his member address. Even now, he was not sure how he was doing it, how it was possible. He felt every movement of air around him, every scent which was coming from the numerous shops of the town, as if he was there physically.

Nobody, nothing but himself was moving his character body, as if he had really "become" his avatar. It had to be some trick or illusion. 'But,' he thought, 'even if it is an illusion, it will be real for me. My mind will link anything happening to me as real, even blades that cut through me.'

He shivered a little, remembering how close to feeling death he had actually been. Only his logical sense and calm mien he acquired while playing the game had suppressed his panic when he completely realized the situation. He now had no doubt his current situation had something to do with Corbenik and Aura's last meddling. And what about Aura and the others? BlackRose, Balmung, Elk...was everyone here too? He doubted it somehow. They were all data drained before the strange white light flashed. But Aura? She had been there too and the Twin Blade had a feeling she was a key element as to what had happened. But she had been data drained at the same time he had. She already was data drained before, only...

Then it hit him. The reason Aura was not with him anymore was probably because she was reduced into pieces of data like before! Or was he wrong? Was there any reason for him to land on a strange World where sensations were real and people you knew did not know you anymore?

He sighed. This was just so much more than what he could actually handle. His brain was overflowing with crazy theories and his body was shaking in worry about everything, everyone, including himself.

Turning around, the player looked at the Chaos Gate he had just used as a means of traveling. The Chaos Gate was a logging out point as well as logging in. On any normal day, he probably would have logged out by now and would have gone to sleep. However, the curious events which were happening gave him the strange feeling it would not work this time. As he tried to do it anyway, a red flashing error message and a very disturbing feeling prevented him.

Kite laughed humorlessly at this. All this situation would have been no more than a science fiction subplot to him merely months before. Now it was just going along with every other particularity of the game. But this was just too much for a fourteen year old boy! He needed to feel safe again for a while, away from the game, away from all this. He wanted to see his house again now, his family, his friends, their faces...their...faces..?

The faces of his family...

The...faces of his friends...

Orca's face...

Orca's...name..?

...Orca's real name...

...everyone's real names...his friends... his family... they were...

...where were they..? Where were their names..?

He couldn't...he couldn't manage to...find them...in his head...Where were their names? Where were their faces..? He couldn't put names on the figures, nor faces.

He could hear his heart rate increase as he searched frantically for an answer. Everyone from the word...the real world...he couldn't see them. He could only see those who were in The World, the game.

He held his head with his gloved hands; his face was covered with sweats, his breathing loud. How could anybody ever forget his parent's identity? His entire family's? His friend's? It wasn't making any sense! 'There is no way I can forget them! I can't forget them! I can't forget myself! I'm not just Kite the Twin Blade, I am...I am...'

I...

...me..? I am...

The blue-haired teen stopped moving entirely and opened his eyes wide. The rare people who passed by assumed at his expression the player behind the Character was AFK. That he was far from the game and had left his character without any control. In a way, they would have been right. Kite was far away from any places within The World, but he was even farther away from any keyboard.

A dark-haired Wavemaster came suddenly from the Chaos Gate. He was all new to this server and upon seeing the frozen player, he could not help but ask:

"Hey, what's up with you?"

The question barely reached the red-tattooed boy. But from the depths of his scrambled thoughts, a familiar sentence, which Kite had heard pronounced by a very particular victim of the game, came to his lips without his agreement. In a mutter, he said:

"I... only exist in... The World...?"

Far from this reality, a man was rendered unconscious by a very new attack. Head on the keyboard, the words, "SYSTEM ERROR" flashing red in his goggles, the player known as Silver Knight from the Crimson Knights would not be returning to the game for a while.

The Theta server was calm enough when a Blademaster appeared at the Chaos Gate. His partner, the Wavemaster BT left the game some time ago. Bear thought of leaving as well. It was late after all. His thoughts drifted to what awaited him in the real world.

He had not been a good father; he knew it, which is why it turned out this way. He once heard BT hinting to him that he was transposing his fatherly role to players in the game. She was not wrong with that, he reflected, he was definitely making his character play the role he had failed at in real life, although it was not really intentional. Mimiru was a young girl and, though they were both in a friendly relationship, he could scarcely help but transfer some of his paternal instincts to her. But he was not Mimiru's father; neither was he a father to anyone else in the game. However...

Bear had seen his son in the game not too long ago. This one used the opportunity to ask for money from his father. Something which Bear had a hard time refusing, guilt working against him in this. There was not much to do about it now, he realized; it would be better to log out for a while. Soon the Bear character was no more, leaving only the tired face of his player behind it. Like he often stated, Ryo Sakuma looked quite old, even at 47. This was partly because of his tiring work as a novelist. The man took off his headset and readied himself to go to sleep. He decided to check the event of the game one last time at the BBS. The Board was usually full of information, along with a lot of doubtful rumors which circulated around. Ryo wasn't one to believe in those things, but knew they often contained a part of true in them.

One new subject caught his attention. It referred to a player disappearance. A Crimson knight apparently. The man clicked it.

From: Zojerk

Subject: Silver Knight disappearance

I don't know what happened. He asked me to keep the entry of a dungeon on Theta server. He wanted to see some Wavemaster suspect that was inside. But he never came out. I saw the Wavemaster though, he was white-haired and was wearing brown and grey clothing. When I went to the dungeon, Silver Knight wasn't here. And he didn't answer my messages. If anyone knows anything about Silver Knight or the other guy please, could you share the information?

Ryo contemplated the message for a while. He had heard that Zojerk was one of the Knight's admirers so he must not be lying when he said he could not contact him. Still, it did not necessarily mean the Knight was in danger or anything. Ryo was hardly an acquaintance of the Crimson Knights so this particular news was not worrying to him. It was the mention of the White-haired Wavemaster which was intriguing for him. Could this be the player he saw earlier at the field? The one who played with the Monsieur? The boy had looked so insecure back then, Ryo doubted it. But still...

This was how the player behind the Blademaster Bear finished his day and prepared himself for a disturbed sleep. He was unaware of the important events which would soon take place, and even less that he would play a major role in them.

Most people usually slept at this hour. But it was not the case for the white-haired boy. He was back in Mac Anu after what happened in the dungeon. He was not sure who was that voice that spoke to him at that time, nor did he know where that monster came from. He had a high suspicion they were linked. The woman voice said she would protect him and the monster saved him from Silver Knight, doing something which killed his PC in one blow. In any case, there were chances that the incident and his current condition were not purely coincidental. The cat PC...

He was not really willing to think about it. Even now, he did not feel as concerned as he should have been. After all, he could not care less if he never went back to the ludicrous "real world". For now, this World was just as real. Still, something was nagging him. He looked down at his clothes. They were warm, but not enough it seemed. The fresh air coming from the river was unpleasant to him. He stood up from his spot and started walking to the middle of the town, trying to calm his nerves. Actually, the reason why he was bothered was not because of the wind. It just seemed that his mind would not shut off. As he kept trying he could not stop his activity. He just could not sleep.

This was annoying.

Unaware of him, another player was actually sharing the same fate. This particular red-clad boy was roaming the town of Carmina Gadelica, looking at the shops to keep himself busy. A lot of things were actually scaring him and it was better for him to ignore them for a while. But his insomnia was killing him. He tried to buy and eat some of the foods that were being sold, and was surprised to find they were edible. He never found any purpose in having food shops in the game, nor did he find he particularly needed them now, but it was still distracting. He was just glad there were no players who noticed him doing so, or else there would be serious questions.

He took a yellow candy from his stocked items and looked at it, in deep thought. Whatever had happened to his friends, he did not know. All he was sure of was eating candies at a shop would not help. He was much more in control of himself now and could think of the last battle again without getting disturbing feelings. Somehow, The World he knew was no longer the same...and apparently neither was he. He put the candy in his inventory again; the boy was just feeling like investigating now. Whatever had happened to him and everyone...? He had to know.

Clenching his fist in resolution, he moved toward the gate. He had crossed some players in the way, such as the Long Arm Cima, but neither she nor anybody else seemed to recognize him. So, Sora was not the only one. Which meant the problem was indeed in The World itself and not in the players. He was not sure if there would be any leads for him to follow. Last time, it was BlackRose who took him to the cathedral. Maybe this would be a dead end, but he still had to try. It was Aura's cathedral after all, so...

With this tiny hope in his heart, the Twin Blade proceeded in transferring himself to Mac Anu, the root town of the Delta server. As he arrived, he noted that Mac Anu was still populated even at this hour. One particular Wavemaster threw a dirty look as the Twin Blade suddenly appeared at the gate. Paying the other boy no mind, Kite proceeded in entering the coordinates for the cathedral field. He repeated the three words in his head. "Hidden, Forbidden, Holy Ground" now held a special place in his heart. A feeling he could not pinpoint was linked to them. He warped, surrounded by three circles of yellow light.

The cathedral was standing before him, like it always had. It seemed neither the root towns, the dungeons nor the cathedral had changed one bit. Actually, they looked even better than the last time he visited them - they were free of corruption. This was paradoxical since he assumed the problem was not coming from the players, but The World itself. Why was it looking the same then?

His legs were a little shaky, but he moved forward none the less. He was not sure anymore if his body had never belonged to him before. It felt like he had always used it. But he knew this assumption was stupid. He was from the real world after all. Or was he? In truth, this World seemed just as real to his sensations. And... What was the other world like? He couldn't...

Arriving at the door, the teal-haired boy abandoned all his stray thoughts and concentrated wholeheartedly into his mission. If there were any clues to Aura's location, it had to be there. He stared a moment at the door in silence before taking a long breath and opening it.

For a while, he could not see a thing. The darkness in the entryway made him feel like the whole church was in complete obscurity. It was quite luminous actually, but his eyes had a harder time figuring it out then at his previous visits. Of course, he had seen it all from his goggles at those times. Somehow, this made it all too unreal for him as he stared at the central stone monument of the church.

All his hopes were gone in an instant.

For the first time since his awakening, he did not feel his legs moving forward, or his heart give a sickening lurch. He was too far removed from it all. Even as he came to a halt before the pedestal, he could hardly believe it.

The statue of Aura... The girl was gone.

Aura was gone.

As if she was never here.

Aura...

And everyone...

A block of reality hit his mind and he fell down in front of the stone; and with nothing to stop his fall, he hit the ground painfully. But it was nowhere near as painful as the sudden heartache he felt. His hands were supporting his upper body, but they were trembling. His eyes were trying to stay open, but they were watering. He tried to pronounce something, but his throat was closed tightly.

Nothing was alright anymore.

Everything had been wrong from the beginning.

And he didn't know where he was standing now.

Just what was this world?

Who was he?

And...what was he?

I thank HieiWannabe for proof-reading this chapter.

A/N2: I took the term AFK (Away From Keyboard) from Another Birth, it describe the state of Mimiru in 'I can't remember which episode'. Anyway, it just means the player left his computer while the player is still in the game, frozen. Well, I'm sure everybody knows this already but...

Funnily enough, notice AFK also means Azure Flame Kite. I just couldn't help it! XD

I completely made up the post of course (when I talk about the 'liberty' I take); I took Zojerk from .hack wiki. At first, I put a knight name, but I wasn't sure if the knights would have posted such event on the board.

Well, no Sora on this chap, though he'll come around eventually. The meeting of the other characters will take some time, especially for Tsukasa. I really can't rush this one. And, of course, Kite didn't realize yet he had gone back to the past. Well, personally I don't think I would have concluded to this either. I mean, really, this is a video game after all. What is painful for him is that he doesn't know what to do anymore. And of course there is all this 'convenient memory loss' to avoid his background completely and to include even more worries to him.

The next chapter wont be as down as this one. And again, review if you have anything to say...