Unfaithful.
"Edward, I can't do this anymore."
She was pressed up against a wall, her back straight and slightly painful. Her head was turned to the right, as her eyelids fluttered open and shut. Her cheek's were all flustered and red, and her mouth was slightly open, taking short uneven breaths. She was wearing a white blouse, which had become unbuttoned at the top to reveal her neck and chest area. Her black bra could be seen barely underneath the top. The above-the-knee length skirt was ruffled and loose, unzipped and ready to be strewn across the grey carpeted floor. Her hands were intertwined with another pair of hands, constantly moving, letting go then gripping them again. Her heart was beating rapidly, her face grew hot, her stomach churned, but this was a feeling she never wanted to forget.
His hair was scruffy from the fingers that passed through it earlier in the evening. His face was also flustered and his eyes glazed over with passion as he sent butterfly kisses over her collarbone. He was shirtless; it had been flung to the floor as soon as he stepped into the room. His Baseball shorts were still slightly damp from his afternoon activity, but he didn't really care. He was with her. Thats all that mattered right now.
"Do what?" he muttered against her skin. The porcelain colour seemed to blend in with his equal pale complexion. Her small delicate hands were enveloped in his, raising his hands to the side of her face, guiding hers with him. He loved the feel of her skin against his, the smell of her perfume, the shine in her hair, everything about her made him weak in the knee's.
"This" she breathlessly said. Her face was turned to the left, but her eyes were constantly looking at him, watching his every move. "We have to stop." she released her fingers from his grasp and slowly dropped her arms to her sides, breathing heavily, her head dead straight now, trying to find his eyes. His head stooped over hers, as his back was straight now, but his eyes still faced south. He knew this would happen, whenever they would get intimate, she always said it had to stop, but she always came to him when she needed him, it never stopped, no matter how many times she said it had to.
"Why do you wanna stop?" his hands were pressed firmly against the wall, each one either side of her head. Her hair looked like it needed a brush, and her lips were slightly swollen from the suction they received just moment ago, yet, in his mind, she was the mot beautiful human in the world.
"It doesn't feel right." That was her only reply. It always was.
"What do you mean?" Edward walked away and sat on the bed and plonked himself down, elbows on his knee's, face in his hands. "Bella, we've been through this , like, a thousand times."
She felt so ashamed. She always did that. She would let him lead her, then push him down at the last second. The reason she felt ashamed? Because she was engaged to another man. Yet she did not love him. He didn't treat her with respect or affection. She was an accessory when they went to parties, a joke on her expense in front of his friends, a punch bag for his anger, however rare it was, he still gave her a whack if she disobeyed him.
"I know" she whispered, as she slowly slid towards the floor and hid her face, she didn't want him to see her tears, she'd let Jacob see them too many times, "but I can't help it." she delicately wiped her face from the tears, and turned her head towards the door. "maybe I should go..."
With that said, Edward was in front of her in an instant; she was wrapped in his arms, his nose in the crook of her neck, his legs intertwined with hers.
"No," he cried "You can't leave, I don't want you to. Not now, not ever. Please?"
Bella pulled back to see his face, and for the first time since they'd been in his apartment, he looked into her dark brown eyes. Edward's features showed fatigue, a lot of it, and the grip around her waist showed that he really didn't want her to go. How could she say no to that face?
"Ok, I'll stay."
His fingers trailed along her jawline, as if taking in a memory. How he longed to be with her properly, with no worry of her breaking down again. He knew about Jacob. He has done since the day he met her. But he never said anything, this was something she had to sort out by herself. He told her a week ago that until she broke it off with Jacob, he wouldn't see her anymore. But of course he couldn't cope with not seeing her. He couldn't hold onto that threat. Just one look and his need for her grew more and more powerful.
"What're you thinking?" he whispered, fingers still connected to Bella's jawline. The look in her eyes showed so many emotions; fear, love, embarrassment.
"I'm afraid." she answered. Her eyes retreated downward, as if ashamed to look Edward in the eye. His eyebrows rose in curiosity. He just had to know what caused that response.
"Of me?"
"No," she looked at him suddenly, surprise written all over her face, "I'm afraid of losing you. I'm scared you'll disappear."
He drew his face closer, jabbing his nose lightly against hers. A small smirk appearing on his handsome face. She placed her hands on his cheeks, releasing the sigh that had built up in her lungs. It was a stupid thing to worry about, but she thought she'd lost him once before, a risk Bella wasn't keen on taking again.
"Where else am I gonna go?" Edward whispered, cuddling his lips against her neck. He placed his hands atop her own, which were now on the back of his neck, and intertwined his fingers with hers. They fit perfectly together. Bella's head lent slightly back, giving him more space for his lips to devour. He would have left a mark, claiming his territory, but he knew Jacob's temper, and did not want his precious gem in trouble.
Bella pulled back, slowly pushing herself across the floor towards the wall. She was already close but her back was now leaning on it. She made herself comfortable and welcomed him back into her open arms. Edward obliged quickly, claiming her throat with his cold lips. It was as if he couldn't stay away. He wanted her. He needed her. She needed to get rid of Jacob and soon, before he got himself involved.
His hands slowly crept to the bottom of her shirt, tugging slightly, needing the warmth of her skin on his. Bella dug her hands into his hair once again, her left at the nape of his neck, toying with his new growth of hair between her fingers, the other deep in the more volumised part of his scalp, near the forehead. Edwards hair felt so soft, even though he'd spent most of the afternoon playing Baseball with his family. She kissed his head then rested her head against the wall, closing her puffy eyes. Edward slowly lifted his face to look at Bella, a small smile on his lips. His hands rested gently on her hips, not moving, waiting until she was ready to continue. Her legs were crossed, with her skirt hanging over her knee's and thighs. The shirt she wore was still crumpled and wrinkly, but Edward didn't care, he'd seen her first thing in the morning, and, as she claimed to be not the best sight in the world, he thought she was a ray of sunshine.
Bella felt Edwards eye's on her, and slowly took a deep breath. "I'm ending it." Whispering felt right, though they were the only two people in the apartment. Her eyes opened to find a pair of closed eyelids, smile-free lips and a furrowed brow. Realization took place and she instantly pulled his head for his eyes to meet her gaze. He looked pained as he still refused to look at her.
"Not with you," she breathed, running her fingers through his now tasseled fringe, removing it from his eyes. "With Jacob." Edward looked up then, a rush of relief swam over his whole body as he breathed out a heavy sigh. He brushed his knuckles across her cheekbone and gently kissed her lips. That was the best news he'd heard it a long time.
Bella smoothed her thumb across his bottom lip, as if to comfort him. She kissed him again, placing her hands on his neck and jawline.
Edward laughed.
Bella pulled back, inspecting his features. Why he laughed he wasn't sure, but the angelic voice echoed in her ears. It boomed out of his lungs, but the laugh was quiet.
"What's so funny?"
"Us." Edward stood, holding Bella's hands and pulling her up with him. "We worry about the smallest things. It's like we're walking on eggshells."
He picked her up them, his hands firmly grasping her waist. He was strong, though kind of scrawny. He had no trouble with her weight. And even if he did, it wouldn't bother him. This relationship felt right; it would be better if she wasn't taken, but it never stopped him before.
"So," Bella queried, wrapping her legs around his waist. Her hands were still on his neck, but her elbows were bent and drawing her upper and lower arms together. Their faces almost touching. She could feel his cool breath on her face, as she sucked in his scent through her nostrils, "I take it I'm staying tonight?"
"Can if you want," Edward replied, sitting on the edge of the bed, Bella still wrapped around him. He kissed her chin, working his way along to her jaw, "though," -as he spoke, his lips brushed against her skin, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end- "I'm not gonna force you." Edward made his way along her jaw towards her ears, where he placed his hand in her hair, behind her ear where his lips and fingertips would soon meet, just above the lobe.
Bella sucked in her breath through gritted teeth. Temptation was getting the better of her as she kissed wherever her lips could reach.
"I don't have any pyjamas with me," Bella sounded surprised, though it was only an act. She knew he would lend her a shirt to wear, considering that nothing was about to happen, "Can I use one of yours?"
"Of course."
"And can I borrow your toothbrush in the morning?" She pulled away then, smiling in a teasing way, "I hate having morning breath."
"Whats mine is yours."
Edward truly meant that. He wanted her to be as welcome in his home as his brothers and sisters. Soon, if she kept her word, she would be there 99% of the time, if it was up to him she would be there 24/7.
Bella stood then, unbuttoning her blouse slowly, smiling down at him. He lent back, resting on his hands, his arm completely straight. He tilted his head and smiled.
"The shirt?"
"Oh," Edward had completely forgotten about the shirt, his concentration solely on her lips. As he stood, he grabbed one of her hands, walking backwards towards his walk-in wardrobe. His hands slowly reached her blouse and started unbuttoning it for her, his fingers working to unhook the tiny button out of the gap in the silk material, "Which one would you like?"
"Any one that smells of you."
He finished unbuttoning her, and reached down to kiss her collarbone. Bella's eyes closed, discarding herself from the ruffled blouse. It fluttered to the floor in a heap. When she opened her eyes again, Edward was holding a white shirt between his fingers, obviously been washed and pressed the day before. It still smelled of fabric softener, but his cologne still hung around.
"Perfect." Bella smiled. She turned slipped the shirt on and started to unbutton the cuffs, when Edwards hands appeared from under her arms, and buttoned up the front of he shirt, tucking down the collar afterwards. The arms were too long, covering her hands completely. Her index and middle fingers escaped at the bottom and wiggled freely. But she didn't care. It was his. That's all that mattered.
"C'mon, I'm very tired and need some protection while I sleep."
Edward lifted Bella into his arms, bridal style, and carried her over to the bed, where he placed her down and hovered above her, resting his weight solely on his arms and legs, which placed themselves on the outside of Bella's closed legs. Slowly and carefully not to harm him, Bella slipped her skirt off, sending it flying towards the area where her blouse had been carelessly flung to the ground. Edward's eyes never left hers, as he slid his shorts off. Her wandering fingers grazed across his slightly toned chest, feeling every nook and cranny that she could.
"I wanna take you somewhere tomorrow," Edward breathed, moving the plush feather quilt down so they could both get inside, "It's my most favourite place in Forks, and I want to share it with you." he was lying next to Bella now, wrapping his arms around her small frame. The frumped up quilt was now hugging them both, protecting them from the cold night outside.
Bella, who was lying on her back, had closed her eyes as soon as she got under the duvet. Her breathing became heavy and deep, her consciousness coming and going. All she felt was Edward's arm around her waist, his nose against her hair and his breath against her ear when he whispered,
"I love you, Isabella Swan."
**
The sun was shining behind the closed curtains, making the room slightly viewable. The clothes from last night had been picked up, folded and placed neatly onto the chest of drawers. Bella sat on the edge of the bed, above the duvet. Her hair was tousled and it had knots, as it was all tucked behind her left ear, covering her shoulder completely, leave the other bare. She loved waking up to find Edwards sleeping form next to her, protecting her from any harm what so ever. She furrowed her eyebrows as she thought of going home, back to Jacob, back to the life she never wanted. Gently, she brushed her fingers against his lips, savouring the feel of then on her skin for the final time that day. Turning to stand, she grabbed her clothes and walked to the bathroom down the hall to change. Closing the door and locking it, Bella stared at her reflection. She prodded under her tired eyes, noting the dark circles under them. She scruffy hair was now smoothing out as she ran her other hand through it, slowly becoming knot-free. She turned on the hot tap, waiting for it to warm up before placing the plug in the hole. She washed her face off, scooping water up in her cupped hands and splashing her face. She dried it with a towel flung loosely on the edge of the bathtub. Dabbing the moisture from her chin and nose, she reached for the toothbrush. Placing the towel back down, she cleaned her teeth and rinsed. She looked at her reflection again. She felt ashamed in herself. The one thing she promised herself he wouldn't do, and she' done it. Never cheat on a boyfriend. Slowly changing from Edwards shirt into her own outfit, smoothing out the creases, she left the bathroom, walking towards the bedroom once more.
Edward hadn't noticed the coldness next to him; the warm body gone from his grip. He looked like a statue, slowly breathing with his head in between the two pillows. The room was still dark thanks to the thick material covering the windows, but she could still make out his pale features, he kissable lips, his neck and collar bones visible in the dimmed light. Bella ran her hand through his messy hair, pulling his fringe back to kiss his forehead. She hated leaving him while he slept, not seeing his early morning hazel eyes search the room for a certain someone.
Edward was breathing through his nose, making a squeaking sound every now and again. He turned, sluggishly toward Bella, now on his side, facing her, as if he knew thats where she was. His head was completely on the one pillow now, it slowly eating his head as it took in the shape and made it more comfortable. The duvet was wrapped around his waist, showing his muscled body. His hand was resting carelessly on the pillow next to his head, the other stretched out in front of him.
"I wish I could stay," Bella whispered, as she placed her hand upon his, rubbing a circular motion with her thumb on his palm, "but I can't. I have to go home." She kissed his cheek then, the only available one and stood, regrettably letting go of him completely. The warmth of his skin lingered in hers, taking its time to disperse and blend into her body temperature. Edward groaned and pulled his stretched arm toward him, as if to cuddle it to his chest and took a deep breath, sighing out Bella's name. She smiled as her head turned to check the time. It was early in the morning, around 8ish, so the sun was still rising slowly behind the curtains, making the room but a fraction brighter.
"I'll call you" Bella whispered again, kissing his cheek once more, "I love you."
And then, she was gone.