a/n: and now here's what i was thinking of when i was writing.

at least, the first section.

enjoy, ne?

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"Look, I don't even know what the hell you two want me here for." Ichigo, in a gigai, stumbled into the thrumming club, tripping over the doorstep as a result of looking backwards.

"Jus' calm down, King," said Shirosaki, also in a gigai, pushing him inside, and glared at the people who raised their heads to look at the newcomers. They took one look at his bleached-white hair and black sclera and backed off, as any sane person would.

"You needed to get out of that stupid house anyway." Kon in Ichigo's body smirked and shoved his hands further into his pockets. "Yer family's kinda loud."

Ichigo took a precious second to glare at Kon and bumped into a tall man who caught him and set him back on his feet. "Careful, kid."

"Sorry!" he called after the guy's retreating back.

As Ichigo was obviously not used to clubbing, his hollow snaked an arm around his waist and guided him manually towards the back of the room, ignoring his protests. "Look, King, all ya hafta do is watch the door. The lock's broke. Don't even hafta dance, see? No problem."

And so he stood outside the room, watching the crowd with unseeing eyes, feeling blank as a white piece of paper. He had thoughts, but the didn't think properly about them. He was just there to guard the door. For what reason, he had no idea. Ichigo frowned. Why would they need the door locked, anyway? What were they doing in there?

Carefully, so as not to trip over any of the couples who were making out in the hall, he leaned towards the crack between the door and the doorframe, listening carefully.

"O-ow! Dammit, Shiro, that hurts!"

"It'll feel better in a minute, promise."

"I don't think you used enough lube... Nngh..."

Lube? Ichigo pulled his ear away from the door like he'd been burned. There were very few things one needed lube for, he knew, very few. And all of them included more touching than he was comfortable imagining those two doing. Especially in HIS body. He slid down the wall, coming to sit with his knees up to his chest. Now that he understood the reason why they wanted him there, he wished he hadn't agreed to come at all. He ran a hand through his wild orange hair. He was fully aware that he was... that, but he hadn't known that that meant his hollow was too. And Kon! He talked about breasts like they were the best things ever invented, so when did this particular development occur? Now that he thought about it, Kon had been less... enthusiastic lately. What was going on?

Even though he knew in his heart of hearts that this was most likely very wrong, he couldn't help but think about it. Not in a casual, 'oh, that's interesting, let's move on' sort of way, but in a fantasizing sort of way. The fact that it was himself on himself (albeit a weird, twisted part of himself and a mod soul in his body) did have some allure, and he couldn't help but wonder...

It was a club, and he was a teenager, and teens were bound to take all sorts of risks, right? Plus, gigai were fiddly and hard to make. So, Ichigo decided, he was going to find out what exactly they were doing for himself. Just a minute, he thought, and then I'll leave them alone.

He made his way to the door and opened it, being very careful not to make any noise.

Not that the two of them would have noticed; his hollow was crouched on top of the mod soul, one hand holding his wrists above his head, the other... well, he'd guess he was stretching Kon out. Both were stark naked. Ichigo's breath stopped. This was so weird.

Kon writhed, letting out little whimpers as Hichigo explored his entrance, eyes squeezed closed, lean body shining with sweat. His hair was damp, and he was breathing heavily. The look on the hollow's face was predatory and excited, lips pulled back in a grin.

"S-Shiroooo," Kon moaned, trying to pull his wrists away from the hollow's stony grip, and failing. "It hurts..."

"Relax," grinned the hollow, leaning down to lick at the side of the other's face. "It won't hurt if you relax, dumbass."

"Don'... don't call me stupid, stupid! This feels so weird... hnn..."

Ichigo was captivated. This was both intensely wrong and incredibly hot at the same time. He knew that soon he wouldn't care about the wrong part, which was why he reached for the door and began to pull the door open.

The worst thing possible at that particular moment just suddenly decided to walk up behind him and smack him over the head. Halfway through his opening of the door, it squealed loudly.

He cringed, and both of them looked up, surprise written on their faces.

There was a total silence for about twenty seconds, and then Hichigo spoke up. "Close an' lock the door."

Ichigo jumped. "M-me? But the lock's broken!"

The hollow deadpanned. "I lied. Lock the damn door and get the fuck over here."