A/N: DC Comics owns most of this! Thanks to Straight Edge Queen, cinderellagirl14 and sapphobrazil for your reviews!

"Right, boys. Well done on the McClain job. No one of importance suspects our police friend who did the honours and we've bought out anyone else. Case closed, for him anyway" Maroni sat forward a little more in his seat, gold jewellery on show. Around the table were his men and a couple of other mob heads.

"For her though, we need to take some action. They had an apartment together, here's the address" he pushes a piece of paper to his men "It needs to be given a, ah, baptism of fire. Taken care of...if you know what I mean".

"What, like an explosion?" They all look to one of the slower members of the group.

"No, dumbass. You like explosions you can go and work for the other guy. Just burn it down. I'm sure you can come up with the minor details. I'm fairly convinced petrol and matches will be in there somewhere". Maroni leans back with a smug look on his face.

"What is purpose?" Chechen openly asks. Maroni takes his words in.

"We need to get the cops in on this. We need to draw her out from playing circus with the clown to a place where we can get her. If we can get the cops to have a chat with her, find out what she's doing with our purple clad friend, arrest her...anything, then she's a sitting duck. Any questions?" Chechen pursed his lips and nodded in agreement for their motive. The rest shock their heads as they had no questions.

"Do it tonight, boys". Maroni left the room.

"Yes, if you buy me the right ingredients I could make pancakes". It was around 9:30am the morning after last night's incident. Chelsea had wanted to stay in bed but was told to get up as 'we don't all have the luxury of a sleep in'. What that meant was 'come downstairs so we can see if he beat you up badly last night'. Looking in the mirror her cheekbones were a little swollen from the hits, and she had a healing scab on her face from where he had cut her. Apart from that she was alright.

A few of the main people had been in a meeting in the room at the bottom of the stairs since she came down at nine. For the last twenty minutes she had been having the same conversation with a guy nick named Brick. She found out quickly that 'thick as a brick' fit him well.

"So...umm, what about eggs? If we bought you eggs could you cook 'em?" Chelsea looked at him expressionlessly. "Yes, I could cook eggs too" she replied and thought 'Just like the pancakes, the roast, the steak, the toast...'.

At least this guy was talking to her she thought as she switched on the TV, doing her best to discourage any more questions. She turned over to the news, would they still be reporting about Danny? The answer was no. There was something about a runaway from the local zoo, a schoolkid suing about a hot sandwich and the national sports report. Then something came on which caught her attention.

"The man murdered yesterday in Gotham General Hospital has overnight had his apartment burnt down in an apparent act of arson. Police investigating have labelled the blaze suspicious". There was a single photo in the background of their apartment on fire, the sky black with night.

Chelsea didn't know what to do so she kept watching. "Police are currently trying to obtain the whereabouts of Miss Chelsea Edwards, seen here at last weeks Charity ball held by Billionaire Bruce Wayne" a photo showing Chelsea posing with her boss Mr. Murrey shot up on the screen. Coldness griped Chelsea's stomach. "She was not heard returning to her flat last night".

"O shit" she said over questions about ice cream from Brick.

At this the meeting rooms door opened. Rex, Davies and another man stepped out. The closed looks on their faces bothered her. Face impassive Rex pointed at the door and said "Get in there". Chelsea grabbed her glass of orange juice and braced herself.

The room was dark and there was a piece of paper with a mobile phone sitting on the table which took up most of the room. In a chair near these items sat the Joker, Chelsea swallowed and sat down near him.

She watched him wondering what he would do, she hadn't seen him since he hit her and stormed off. Would he still be mad?

He lent across towards her and Chelsea leaned back subconsciously as she thought he was reaching for the phone. Instead he grabbed her glass of orange juice and drained it in one go, smacking his lips.

"Mmm, freshly squeezed" he slammed the glass down as he leant back not taking his eyes off her. "You've seen the news by now I take it?"

"Um, yeah I have" she said trying to hide her disappointment. She was looking forward to that juice.

"So you realise that now the cops are looking for ya, your boss will want to talk to ya and-"

"-all my stuff is gone?" she interrupted. She wasn't expecting sympathy from him but it still hurt when he rubbed it in. Instead of getting angry at the interruption he just laughed for a while. Not able to contain herself Chelsea asked "What's so funny?" Eventually he was able to get his breath back.

"Ahhhhh, ask me some other time, Sweetcheeks. I'll tell you then. No, I wasn't going to mention your obviously precious po-sses-sions" her defensiveness over her things must have been the reason he was laughing "I was going to say 'and now you're an even bigger problem to me' but I can leave that unsaid for now if ya like..." He left his eyebrow raised and tilted his head slightly while waiting for her response.

Surprisingly she smirked back at him "I do just seem to be trouble for you actually..." there was a moment where they kept smirking at each other, Chelsea thought it was better to try to keep him in this mood. However, the Joker then frowned and pointed at the items on the table, continuing quickly.

"That's a pre-paid mobile, the number is at the bottom of the page for when they ask you for it. Call the cops first, tell them you can't come to the station right now but they can contact you. Ya see" he shuffled in his seat trying to get comfortable "If you go now, Maroni'll know in minutes and you'll be dead as you leave". He said this as though he was discussing buying a loaf of bread.

"Say you're out of the...city, I doubt they'll try to trace the location of the call and that you'll be back-ah in this, mmm, fine town in a couple of weeks". He swept a tongue over his lips as he gestured, showman-like to the phone. Chelsea's heart hammered in her chest, this was crazy. "Who will I ask to speak with?" it was now or never.

"You, ah, won't need to worry about that. Tell 'em who you are and stick to what I told ya to say. Don't be on there too long" he added leaning back, waiting.

Chelsea picked up the phone and dialled. "Gotham Police, what's your emergency?" a strong female voice enquired. "Ah, yeah, hi" her face and chest burnt hot "My name's Chelsea Edwards. I'm just calling to say that, uh, you could be looking for me...that was my apartment that burnt down last night". She paused and got herself together as the Joker watched on thoughtfully "But I'm ok. I'm out of town taking a break at the moment. I'll be back in a couple of weeks".

The policewoman put her call through to a sergeant. She turned to face the man in the room. "They're getting me to speak with someone else" the Clown Prince of Crime licked his lips and looked at her intently "Well tell them the same then get off as soon as possible, you need to get off . the phone". He stood up and half sat on the table, just leaning.

Chelsea told the man her story again which he believed. She then gave him the pre-paid mobile number and managed to get off the phone. Hanging up she leant back and shut her eyes. "He believed me. He didn't ask to see me" she smiled but he didn't return it.

"Hrm" he rubbed his chin and some paint came off on his hand. "If he was any good he should've tried to see you. Ya got lucky, Doll" he sat back down in his chair. He wasn't nervous, he just likes things to go in his favour.

He then continued "You had to quit your job next week...so change of plans. No time like the present, Sugar". Looking down at the page she saw Mr. Murrey's mobile number, not that it mattered, after all the time she's been there she knew it off by heart. This time she had no instructions so she'd have to improvise.

Mr. Murrey answered and she explained she was fine and out of town. Then they went through the Danny 'tragedy', after this she told him she need time to reassess her life so therefore she would have to resign. He tried to talk her out of it saying she could have extended leave but she was firm. They chatted about how she was a good worker and that she enjoyed her time there. She promised to drop by sometime.

As she hung up the phone her eyes shone with tears. That's it, over. She now could welcome in her new life. Angry at herself for getting upset, even only slightly in front of the Joker, she apologised saying "I'm sorry. Well" she looked up at him "I guess I'm all yours now, hey?"

He contemplated this for a moment, licking his lips slowly and replying "Hrm...I-" he was cut off by the door swinging open

"Hey Boss! On the-" he stopped immediately at the glare his employer was giving him, but also at the gun that was cocked and already pointing at his chest.

"Ah, whatever your name is?" the man stayed still.

"Tim, m-my name's Tim"

"Don't correct me!" the Joker snapped back at him. "As I said, whatever your name is" he paused smugly "never burst into a room without knocking first, ok?" the man nodded. "And, ah, never interrupt me. With...knocking either. Kapish?" The man nodded vigorously, his eyes flicking to Chelsea. "The police are on the news saying she's safe, out of town". The Joker quietly pocketed his gun.

"Thank you...Tom" at this Tim quickly retreated out of the room. The Joker shook his head "Never work with animals or complete morons" he looked to the empty glass that was once Chelsea's breakfast. "Hrm...I want more...juice" he nodded once at the glass "...orange juice".

"You drank the last of it". The man shut his eyes for a moment, looking pained he groaned

"Agh...we need to go shopping". He stood up and tilted his head and asked her innocently "Can you cook?".