Memoirs of a Master
Chapter 4
Disclaimer: okey dokey kids, let's get this straight: I don't own KFP, and for the love of God, Dreamworks, if you ever read this, I regret nothing! I need to warn a few readers in advance that this chapter deals with something that many people today are still uncomfortable with, and to do it justice, this chapter is longer than usual. I'm not spoiling it. Please review…pretty please?
Po, in a rather uncharacteristic show of leadership—for he was the Dragon Warrior, after all—suggested the Five go train in the Training Hall while he made dinner for them. Truth be told, though, no one particularly wanted to go. One day…or two…maybe three days without training wouldn't be so bad. Besides, it wasn't like Shifu would find out, right?
Instead, they sat around the kitchen table, talking idly about various subjects. Small talk revolved around the strange turn in the weather, the predictions of a harsh winter and the latest village gossip. The conversation quickly turned to memories the Five had of their Master…
"Remember that time he took us on that training mission to the village of Go-zhang?"
"Oh, don't talk about that—that was a disaster," Viper groaned.
"Tell me about it—my wing was out of commission for weeks!" Crane bemoaned.
Tigress rolled her eyes. "It wasn't so bad…once those crocs were out of the way, it got easier…"
"Says the one who suffered a broken leg and infected wounds…" Monkey muttered.
"They weren't that bad."
"Sure."
Po dished out their meal, "Order up! Enjoy guys." He placed a bowl in front of Tigress, "Made with tofu…since, y'know, I know you like it."
She glanced up at him, oddly touched, but didn't let it show, "Thank you."
"So…" Po said, sitting down in his usual place. "What happened in Go-zhang?"
"We don't talk about Go-zhang," Mantis said flatly.
"Yes, lets move on to another…"
"Oh, what about the time you guys faced off against the army of a thousand foxes by the Dragon Mountain?!" Po asked energetically. This brought smiles to everyone's faces.
"Oh man was that fun!" Mantis whooped. "So easy too—they took one look at Tigress and ran for it!"
"Really?"
"Yup, lucky for us she was on her 'lady's days' and was already testy enough…"
"Mantis, shut up," she growled.
"Lady's days?"
"Po, shut up," the feline snapped at him too.
Viper whispered to Po what they meant, and then it dawned on him. "…Oh…"
"Yeah."
"Well, that explains why that battle ended so quickly."
Everyone but Tigress laughed. She scowled at Po even as Monkey nudged her playfully. She picked up the bowl of soup and started sipping right from the bowl, hiding the embarrassed blush.
"Oh hey Tigress, remember when we teamed up with Crane's clan and took on those big dumb gorillas?" Viper asked.
Tigress smirked. "Oh yeah, that was fun…"
"You bet—us girls kicked serious butt," Viper said, high-fiving her sister-in-arms across the table. The three other members of the Five looked away distractedly. Po had to ask: "What happened?"
Tigress replied smugly, "As it turns out, those gorillas hadn't seen a single female for months, so…Viper and I decided to use that to our advantage…"
The snake grinned, "We played along, making them think we were interested, then when they tried to make a move…"
Tigress slammed her fist into her palm, grinning wickedly. "Bam!"
"That's so cool!" Po said, "But why are you guys…"
Tigress and Viper both smiled smugly, the feline biting her lip to keep from laughing, the serpent explaining, "They're just embarrassed because they got hit on too."
"Even Mantis?"
"MOVINGRIGHTALONG," the insect said too quickly and much too loudly. "The street fight in Peking!"
"Yes, the street fight!" Crane said eagerly. Viper and Tigress just snickered. Po cleared his throat, "Or…so no one else gets embarrassed, why not go back to the memoir?"
"That works too."
The next seven years passed by uneventfully for us. We continued our training, we grew, we reached many milestones, learned many things. As Oogway had predicted, I learned a lot, and grew faster and stronger every day. Ochir's strength far exceeded anything I could ever do, but whenever we sparred—which was often—it was not unusual for him to lose (I believe he sometimes let me win). I suppose you know why: he was the mighty oak I needed to uproot. The point of what I was learning, to suit my strengths, was to use my opponent's strengths and weaknesses against him.
By my fourteenth summer, we had started learning to fight with weapons. Though Ochir preferred bare-handed combat, he was quite accomplished with a mace. Song chose a pole weapon called pudao, which was really a broadsword with a long, extended pole; she had outfitted it with a red scarf at the hilt of the blade to distract her opponents...and I know from experience how effective it was. Li on the other hand came to love another type of weapon altogether.
He was an expert marksman, with an eye as sharp as the arrows he fired. He'd learned early on that he had a sharp eye; Master Oogway had said they hadn't seen such a gifted archer in well over a century. This was the confidence boost Li had needed for years.
As a fox, he was naturally agile as well, and his inborn slyness made him ideal for using knives in close combat. He preferred not to use them though, which I found admirable. He was also pretty good with a rope dart, and again, I know this from personal experience.
As for me, I preferred less dangerous weapons, mostly because I hated the idea of actually hurting someone. Though I was pretty handy with staves, Oogway still suggested I learn to fight with a sword as well. "Though it pains me to think you might ever need it," he told me one day, "I would feel more confident if you knew how to use other weapons."
Every day, however, we trained hard, spending most of our days in the Training Hall on the obstacle course. The trampoline we had begun using to develop our leg strength and help us achieve greater height when jumping or kicking. This gave way to a new field, where wooden staves would shoot up at random times, to test our reflexes (when I became the Palace's main teacher, I later switched this to the Field of Fiery Death). The Forest of Twirling Tree Limbs was modeled after a legendary forest Oogway had visited once; Ochir almost always pulverized it (and poor Zhou quickly tired of filling out work orders for the damages). Li and I trained almost exclusively on the Jade Tortoise while Song was fond of the twirling dragons and avoiding the forebears of the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion.
One morning as we were eating breakfast, Master Oogway made an exciting announcement.
"It has come to my attention that you four have done exceedingly well in your training. I am very proud of all of you." He beamed at us four teenagers. "Now, it has also come to my attention that the Valley of Peace will become host once again to the Annual Kung Fu Tournament…"
Our ears perked up, though mine, of course, were much more noticeable.
"…And I would like you all to compete."
We grinned. This was our chance to shine!
"And your families are all invited."
Our faces fell. Oh, crap…
I looked around the table. Ochir had very little contact with his father, but I knew from our years together that Master Terbish had been very harsh and expected too much from his only son. I knew all about Song's circumstances, and it surprised me that her parents would bother to come at all. And the only family I could think that Li had would be Master Jian Qiang.
As for me, I hadn't seen my family since I left home to become Oogway's student. It wasn't that they weren't proud of me—word from my natal village told that my father bragged about me nearly every day (and Mother usually chastised him for his pride). The problem was that my family was illiterate, so I never received even one letter, and they lived so far away that travel was near impossible. So for this reason, ten years had passed without seeing them.
Nervous? Me? No, never…
Oogway just smiled, "That's supposed to be good news."
"Oh, we're excited, Master," Ochir said sardonically. "Can't you tell?"
"I know Terbish may seem callous, but you must remember that the only one whose happiness matters is your own. Song, your mother will be there—no word on your father, yet."
She just stared at her plate; I stared back at her. Though only thirteen, she had grown into a lovely—if yet still awkward—teenage girl. I knew all about that awkwardness though; it sucks being a fourteen-year-old boy, after all, and please don't ask me to elaborate on that.
After breakfast, we had the option of meditation or training; Li and I opted for sparring in the courtyard. His open-handed combat had gotten much better, and he and I were evenly matched, both of us small yet swift. Ochir even admitted to me one day how impressive it was to watch us in action.
Li blocked one of my serpent-like strikes, kicking my legs out from under me. I quickly regained my footing, swinging my leg into a roundhouse kick which he caught, flipping me over his head. I landed in a headstand, flipping over and assuming the dragon battle stance.
"Our families should arrive any day now," I said, striking out again. He blocked the blow, panting, "Your family at any rate."
"Master said our families, so that implies yours are coming too…" I pointed out.
"Unless Mom and Dad can come back from the dead, I highly doubt that. KYA!" He struck out at last—he was never one for offense—and I grabbed his wrist and took him down. He struck up, catching me in the shoulder so that I let go, and he jumped back up.
"Master said that Master Jian Qiang should be there!" I said.
Li froze. "M…Master Jian Qiang?"
I nodded, breathless and sweaty. We'd shed our shirts and were wearing just our trousers, leg wrappings, and bare feet. We stopped to take a breather and for a drink, which quickly turned into dunking our heads into the bucket to cool off. Li stared empty into space, "He's just coming to compete."
"I thought he stopped competing ten years ago?"
"That was the last time the tournament was held," Li explained.
"Then why is it called an 'annual' tournament?" I asked.
"Well, it hasn't been held for ten years because the last time it was held in Manchuria and, well, Manchurians are pretty hard-core. I think out of the three hundred warriors that competed there, 140 died."
My eyes widened. It hadn't occurred to me we could die in this thing. But 140 out of 300 warriors dead?
"But I don't think they would carry it on unless they changed the rules," Li continued. "Besides, I don't think Master Oogway would allow anyone to die."
"No, I highly doubt that," I said. "Besides, if we're competing, he's not going to let anything happen to us, right?"
We were silent for a moment, then Li said, "Sure, yeah…makes sense."
Our families arrived two days later. Song's mother was the first to arrive; her father was not going to attend, citing "business keeping him away in the Imperial City" (pompous ass) . To say it was a strained reunion was putting it lightly. Song wanted very little to do with her mother, especially after Miao Li complemented her daughter on "becoming a woman" (at the time, I had no idea what that meant. I obviously know now). Though I had to admit, Song was still very pretty, and getting prettier every day…
Ochir's father Terbish was next to arrive, the rhino just as abrasive as I remembered. Years of training with Oogway had made Ochir less like his father than Terbish was comfortable with. I could tell from the disapproving looks that Terbish was not fond of how his son was turning out, though I couldn't understand why. Ochir was an honorable warrior, and he would be a great master soon—he only had four years to go until his training was completed and he earned a new name as a master.
Much to my delight and Li's relief, Master Jian Qiang arrived, a wide grin on the wolf's face. His grey fur had turned whiter with the past ten years, but there was still youthful energy in his kind eyes. He grinned, forgoing propriety and hugging the kit like a long-lost son.
"Li! Great Emperor in Heaven, I almost didn't recognize you! You shot up like a weed! How have you been?"
Li was entirely flummoxed by this treatment, but he wasn't about to complain. This was the last thing he'd expected, but easily the happiest moment in his life to date. "I've been well, but I'm better now that you're here, Master."
Master Qiang beamed down at him, and turned to Oogway, "What did I tell you, Master? There is no way I could have molded him into the young man I see before me!"
Oogway chuckled, "Wait until you see what he can do—his archery is unmatched by any student I have trained in…well, I believe it's been over a century."
Li blushed, but smiled at the compliment. I stood off to the side, allowing him this moment to bask in his former master's paternal love. He deserved it, after all.
Master Jian nodded, "So I've heard. Well, it's certainly a good thing I brought that gift…"
"Gift?" Li looked up, surprised.
Master Qiang nodded. "To make up for all those missed birthdays…" he turned round and beckoned someone behind him. Up the steps came a shorter wolf, with charcoal grey fur and light grey eyes. He was the spitting image of the master. Master Qiang patted the boy's shoulder. "My son, Ren. Ren, you remember Li, don't you?"
Ren, who could not have been older than sixteen, smiled thinly, nodding, "Yeah, I remember you."
Li smiled nervously. "It's…nice to see you again, Master Ren."
Ren bit his lip, "I'm not a master…"
"Yet," Qiang grinned. "Both of you will be, and sooner than you think."
Ren suddenly remembered himself, hurriedly and clumsily offering a long wrapped package to Li. "H-here, happy birthday for, um, the last ten years we missed…"
Li was fighting down the blush, and he carefully unwrapped the gift…we all gasped.
It was a beautifully carved and intricate bow, made of a flexible dark wood, the grip wound tightly with treated leather. The carvings were of strange mythical animals, a dragon, a phoenix, a white tiger, and a tortoise with a snake. They were the four constellations that ruled the four Cardinal Directions: The Vermillion Bird of the South, the Azure Dragon of the East, the White Tiger of the West and the Black Tortoise of the North. With the bow was a quiver of arrows, fletches made of what appeared to be eagle feathers, the shafts long and strong.
Master Jian Qiang explained, "It belonged to a former prisoner of war—a Mongol general. They may be barbarians, but the Mongols are expert craftsmen and marksmen, and their bows and arrows are unmatched by any other archers in Asia, even our own…"
Li shouldered the quiver and tested the bow, flicking his finger over the twine, then pulling back on it. The bow bent back marvelously, the muscles in his arms taut and strong. He smiled, in awe at the impressive weapon. He looked up at his former master, utterly breathless.
"Master…I…I don't know what to say. I…I feel like I don't deserve this…This is too generous a gift."
"A shame; it was Ren's idea to give it to you."
Li's eyes flicked over to Ren's; the younger wolf looked away, looking uncomfortable. "I, um…I heard you were an archer, and I thought, since Mongol bows and arrows are the best in Asia that…that you'd need the best there was. 'Cause, y'know, a warrior's only as good as his weapon, right?"
Song and I shared a sidelong glance; this was odd. And extremely awkward; did Ren and Li not part on good terms? I felt that couldn't be it, judging from the grateful smile on Li's face.
"I don't know what I did to deserve such generosity…but thank you, Master Ren." He bowed low, Ren returned the bow, relief flooding his face.
"You're welcome, Li."
Master Qiang turned to look over his shoulder suddenly, then when he turned back, he smiled at me, ushering his son out of the way.
When I saw them, I felt my heart hammering in my chest, then leaping up into my throat.
My family—my entire family—stood just inside the vermillion gates, searching the arena for me. My mother saw me first, letting out a shocked gasp, her hand covering her mouth. I could tell even from that distance that there were tears in her eyes. My father spotted me, frozen in place, his expression unreadable. Everyone else, my aunt and uncle, my cousins, and two brothers, all stared at me in open-mouthed shock.
I had changed so gradually that I wasn't even aware of how much I truly had changed. By now, even though I was only fourteen, I was taller than my father and two brothers, and my arms, my legs, indeed my entire body showed toned and slim muscles under my simple training clothes. I suppose there was something in my posture too, that would have made anyone doubt I was born the third son of a rice farmer.
My parents stepped forward, then my mother broke into a run; I didn't bother holding back and I ran to her, catching her in a firm, tight hug. When she wrapped her arms around me, I couldn't help the tears that came to my eyes, but she was crying openly. She looked into my face, cupping it in her hands.
"Great merciful Heaven," she gasped. "I can't believe it's you…Fu, my baby boy. Look how big you've gotten—if it weren't for you having your father's nose and eyes, I wouldn't believe it was you!"
This made me smile, which only made her cry harder, "Come on, Mama, I haven't changed that much…"
"Are you still running from baths?"
I blushed, "Mama!"
She smiled, "I guess not."
My father came over next, shaking his head in awe as he stared up at me—up! I was a couple inches taller; little did I know that the diet we ate at the Jade Palace was much better than what the general populace had. That, combined with the intense training and naturally healthy lifestyle, had caused me to "shoot up like a weed", as Master Qiang had put it. The problem was I wasn't done growing yet.
"Look at you," he breathed, shaking his head. "Never in all my years…"
"Baba, you're not that old." But in that moment I noticed the grey hairs on my parents' heads and the wrinkles on their faces. For ten years I had their images in my memory, but now, I was shocked to see that how they had aged since I left. Speaking of age, I was suddenly aware that someone was missing… "Where's Grandmother?"
My mother closed her eyes, and my father sighed. "She's gone into the next life, just a few months ago…if we could write, we would have sent word. We're sorry…"
I was too. I should have been aware, answered their messages sooner. Unfortunately, very few people in our village were literate, so if I had sent a letter, there was no guarantee that they'd be able to read it, if it ever arrived at all. I hung my head and muttered a silent prayer, hoping her spirit had made to Heaven safely.
"I know, had she lived long enough, and been strong enough for the journey," he continued, "and seen what you have become, she would be as proud of you as we are."
I smiled, hugging him as well, "Thank you, Baba…"
My father stepped back, then bowed to Oogway as the tortoise came forward. "Ah! The honored parents; it's been too long. How have you all been?"
"Very well, Master Oogway, sir," my father answered. "May I say, sir, how honored we are that you have trained our son well. We never thought possible how much honor he would bring to our family…"
Over his shoulder, I saw Elder Brother's face contort into an ugly mask. He glared at me, and I felt suddenly ill. I knew what that glare was for. As the eldest, he was expected to bring the most honor to the family. I had defied convention, and should have been outcast from society, and instead, I had made my family favor me over him. I was relieved, however, to see Second Brother actually happy for me.
While Oogway spoke with my parents and introduced them to the other adults, Second Brother ran over and hugged me—actually hugged me.
"Fu! I can't believe it. How is it here? What is it like?"
I had developed a wry sense of humor by then: "A barrel of fun."
He suddenly pulled away, poking at my shoulder. "Whoa…you got muscles."
"Yeah, that came with the barrel of fun," I joked.
He grinned and beckoned the rest of my family forward. My aunt, uncle and cousins were all glad to see me; Elder Brother stood back, arms crossed, silent as a stone. While everyone else wore smiles, he was the only one frowning. I wasn't looking forward to this inevitable exchange. I decided to avoid it, bringing my family over to meet my friends instead. They stared in awe at Ochir—they had never seen a rhino before. My mother absolutely adored Song, and my father was impressed with Li. I can't tell you how happy it made me to see how quickly my family accepted my friends.
After enough time, Master Oogway invited us all to the evening meal, after they were all settled in. They would be sharing our rooms—I felt sorry for Song, whose strained relationship with her mother would make that arrangement quite difficult, and Ochir, who I was sure would argue bitterly with his father before this tournament was through. As for Li and myself, I had no concerns…
Except for Elder Brother.
Though it had been years before I had shared a single room with eight people, I settled into the routine quite easily. Mrs. Chen supplied all of us bedrolls and blankets, luxuries my family could only have dreamed of. My aunt said how worried she was that the Jade Palace would spoil them all, and how it was a marvel how I was not spoiled myself. Everyone quickly learned however that I knew how lucky I was, and took nothing for granted.
When the call for dinner was made, everyone filed out, but Elder Brother and I stayed behind. He did it for his own personal reasons, whatever they were; I stayed because I knew I couldn't delay the inevitable.
"Is everything okay?" I asked. "I mean, are you feeling okay? Tired, hungry?"
"I'm fine," he said tensely.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Is there…anything on your mind, Brother?"
"What makes you think that, Third Brother?"
He was skirting around the issue; I wasn't having it. I've always been stubborn, if you'll recall. "I know something's up, and I think we should talk about it."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"No, there is…"
He stood up suddenly, glaring at me and snapping, "You have some nerve! You think you're smarter than me, that you can talk to me like that?! I think I should teach you your place, you stupid brat!"
"I know my place," I said calmly. "I'm the third son of a farmer, you're the firstborn, and it's your duty to bring honor to the family…"
"Shut up! You heard Baba—you're the one who's brought us honor! You stole my birthright!"
"No I didn't!" I gasped.
"Yes you did! If anyone should have been chosen, it should have been me! I'm the eldest, I'm the one who should have gotten that honor!"
"Brother, that wasn't my decision!" I defended. "If you have such a problem with it, take it up with Master Oogway! I didn't do anything wrong!"
"You did nothing wrong?!" he snapped. "Who abandoned our family? Who was supposed to take orders from me? Who was supposed to know his place and keep his place?!"
"I KNOW MY PLACE!" I shouted. He stepped back in surprise as I snapped back, "And I think its time you remembered yours."
As soon as it left my mouth, I regretted it. He looked absolutely stricken; I tried to make it better, unsure if it would work or not: "I might be training to be a master of kung fu, but you are still the eldest son. You'll inherit everything: our father's land, whatever fortune he leaves behind, and no matter what, even if I become a master in kung fu, you're right, you're still my older brother, and you will always be my master."
"No I won't," he said harshly. "Your master is that damned turtle…"
I almost lost it, but I took a deep, shaky breath, and glared at him, lowering my voice, "If you ever—ever—insult Master Oogway again, I will not hesitate to hit you, brother or not."
"Aren't I supposed to be your master?"
"If you want me to accept you as my master, you need to earn my trust and my respect first—right now you've got one, but you need to earn the other." It was uncharacteristically mature of me to say that, but that doesn't mean I didn't regret it. I took the chance he gave with his silence and I walked out. He had earned my trust as my brother; but I meant what I said: if he wanted me to respect him, he needed to earn that right.
I thought dinner would be awkward, so I took my seat closest to Oogway, next to my parents. Remembering my earlier argument, I asked my family to downplay my accomplishments, and Oogway seemed to sense that something was off. One look towards Elder Brother seemed to tell the whole story. Instead, he quizzed me on my studies of the 1000 Scrolls in the Hall of Warriors. By that time, I was already to Scroll 749: only a couple hundred to go, if I ever finished at all. I never did master all of them; that honor goes to Tai Lung. I only ever made it to Scroll 806.
When we were dismissed from dinner, Song—the most perceptive of all of us—suggested we students run through the obstacle course one more time before bed. Our families were tired, so they retired before us. As much as they wanted to see us in action, Master Oogway promised them that they would see everything the day we competed. We were on the schedule for the second day of the competition. The masters' tournament would begin in the morning, and already the inns and taverns in the village were filled with warriors from all across China, with not a single vacancy to be found.
The four of us walked to the Training Hall in silence, until we were far enough away from the bunkhouse. Ochir put his hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"
I sighed, "You heard me and my brother, didn't you?"
"If it helps, I don't think he was right—you do know your place; we all do."
Li and Song nodded. "Master has kept us humble, I think," Song offered. "Your brother's just jealous."
"Is it bad that I feel really, really angry right now?" I asked.
"Not really," Ochir shrugged. "You got a good reason to be. Me too, actually; Dad's been…well, he hasn't been such a nice guy," he didn't elaborate, but I could tell from Terbish's disapproving looks that they were bound to butt heads sooner or later.
"He thinks you've gone soft, you mean," Li said. Ochir nodded, "Like being slow to anger makes me weak…"
"No, that makes you smart," Song said, sighing. "Come on, let's go destroy something, we'll feel better."
"Actually," Li said, "Since I don't really have anyone to be mad at, I think I'll go up to the Sacred Peach Tree and meditate for awhile."
"Okay," I nodded. "You want me to come get you at lights out?"
Li nodded, "Please do. You know how I lose track of time…"
"No problem. If you change your mind, well, we'll be destroying things."
Li smirked, heading in the direction of the tree. "Gotcha. Destroying things never gets old."
An hour later, after Ochir, Song and I had beaten the ever living daylights out of the twirling tree limbs, we felt significantly better. There's something about hitting something inanimate that takes the aggression right out of you. Though in all honesty, I felt like hitting my brother more than a fake enemy.
Ochir looked much calmer, but sighed and plodded for the door. "I better get back…maybe Dad's asleep by now."
Song nodded, "Yeah, seems like a good a time as any. You coming, Fu?"
I nodded, putting the other equipment away, "Yeah, lemme just go get Li and I'll be there."
"Oh right, he's still at the Peach Tree…"
"Make it quick," Ochir said. "I'd hate to see him out of his master's good graces."
"If that's possible," Song said. "He's the luckiest of all of us—no family drama."
I nodded, "Yeah, lucky him."
We parted ways and I trotted up the mountain path to the Sacred Peach Tree. I had been there many times with Master Oogway, sometimes to meditate, mostly to talk. I eventually slowed to walking, not wanting to disturb Li too much if he were still meditating. As I got closer though, I heard voices up there. Two people, and Li was one of them. I smiled; maybe he was catching up with his old master.
I walked a little further, tiptoeing and unintentionally eavesdropping. But it wasn't Master Jian Qiang he was talking to, like I expected.
It was Ren.
"…wouldn't understand," I heard the tail end of Li's statement.
"They're your friends, Li, who else would know you better?"
"But it's wrong; if they knew—if Master Oogway knew—I'd be kicked out for sure. And your father wouldn't accept me back…"
"Li, he loves you like a son; he loves you as much as I—I mean, as much as he loves me. Besides, you can't live a lie."
"But it's not a lie if I don't tell the whole truth, right?"
"Li," Ren said impatiently, "All you're doing is hurting yourself. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"Ren, be serious," Li sighed. "We haven't seen each other in ten years. Are you seriously telling me what I think…"
"Yes."
I was close enough now that I could see them; they hadn't detected me. Li was looking up at the wolf in shock.
"What?"
"Yes, I am telling you exactly what I think…but I'm not taking this any further."
"But…"
"You're still young, and I think you're still a little confused. I don't want you to do something you'll regret."
"That's the thing, though, I don't think I'll regret it. But I'm still agonizing over it…"
"Then don't do that. Sure, maybe it's not the right time, and you're probably not ready…"
Not ready? I wondered. Does Li still not think he's a good enough warrior? I inwardly groaned; I thought his self-esteem had grown over the years… Then I stopped when I saw Ren hug him, whispering, "There's still time, and I want you to think about it, to seriously think about if this is really what you want."
"Ren, this is what I want…"
"I'm not sure I believe that. I think you should think about it a little more."
"But what will I tell the others? What will I tell Fu?"
What should he tell me, indeed?
Ren sighed, "If he were a true friend, he would accept it and understand."
But I couldn't understand. Why would Li want to leave? What made him think we would turn him away?
Then I tripped.
They heard me and jumped away from each other, Ren by my side in an instant, helping up. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, brushing myself off, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine…I just came to get Li; it's almost lights out."
Li looked uncomfortable in the darkness; had he forgotten I would come for him? I suddenly wondered if he actually came to meditate at all.
Ren patted my shoulder. "Thanks for reminding us. But, um, I think there's something you two should talk about before you go…I'll give you some privacy."
As he walked away, blending in with the darkness, I looked at my vulpine friend and came to stand next to him.
"Li…is everything okay?"
He turned away from me, sighing. "I wish he hadn't set me up like this…"
"Li, come on, we're best friends…I've known you since you were four, practically our whole lives! If there's something bothering you, you know you can tell me."
"Fu, no offense, but this isn't something I want to talk about."
"But…" I paused, then decided, if he wasn't going to bring it up, I had to. "Why do you want to leave?"
"What?" he stared at me. "What're you talking…?" I could see him pale in the light of the half moon. "How much did you hear?"
"Only the last bit, about you being confused and not ready and…stuff," I finished lamely.
"So…you didn't hear everything."
"No. Look," I put my hand on his shoulder. "We're best friends, aren't we?"
"Yeah, of course we are," he nodded, still looking worried…and slightly uncomfortable. I noticed his brown eyes flicking over to the hand on his shoulder.
"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong?"
"Because…" he shook his head, looking away and muttering, "You wouldn't understand…you'd reject me."
"I would never do that! Even if you did something so horrible that nothing else could compare, I'd still love you…"
His head snapped up, his eyes wide, but I could see fear behind them. Great Emperor in Heaven…what had he done that was so horrible?
"You…love me?"
"Yeah…aren't friends supposed to love each other?" Now I was confused, very confused.
"Fu…this is really hard for me."
"Li, whatever you've done, I promise I'll accept you. If you want me to keep a secret, I will. I swear it."
His body started shaking, and now I was both confused and worried. I held him still, grasping him by the upper arms. "Li…Li, what's wrong? Tell me…"
He stared into my eyes, looking for the entire world like he was being swallowed up and dragged straight to hell. "Do you promise not to freak out?"
"I promise."
His eyes still locked with mine, he opened his mouth to say it, to finally confess, and I feared the worst. What could he have possibly done? But he paused too long, still staring at me, leaving me to wonder just what he was thinking behind those scared eyes.
He didn't say anything; it was what he did that stunned me.
He kissed me.
He kissed me, full on the lips, his hands resting on my hips.
I froze, stock-still with surprise. All of my thoughts came to a screeching halt after I reprocessed the parts of the conversation I'd heard: they wouldn't understand…if they knew, I'd be kicked out…what do I tell the others…and I realized what he had meant.
I didn't know what to think as I came to that dreadful conclusion.
Li, my best friend, the one I would die for if necessary, the one whom I trusted and loved as a brother…was a homosexual.
Viper closed her mouth, her eyes wide. When she looked up from the scroll, everyone's jaws had dropped. Shock was plainly written on their features, and everyone was completely silent.
Except, of course, for Po.
"Wow…did not see that coming…"
That's going to be one awkward post-kiss conversation…