Authors' Notes:
I'm sure we've already mentioned that we don't own Harry Potter or any of his friends and enemies, but I'd just like to point out that we don't own Girl With A Pearl Earring either.
Anyone who has ever listened to Pottercast will recognise the references strewn throughout this chapter. Our apologies to John.
One day, Vermeer was walking with Griet. They were discussing symbolism, mainly that of knives and camera obscuras. Suddenly John decided to open the door and pole dance with the polar bear. He stopped before he got raped or robbed of all his worldly possessions. This was not something he wanted to happen because then there'd be dire consequences. And what devastating consequences they would be!
Suddenly, there was a distraction, and everyone was distracted. The distraction lasted for a minute and then stopped. In the aftermath, Vermeer and Griet cautiously raised their heads, unsure of what they would find. Mary Mother of Jesus! They could not believe it. Standing before them were thestrals. Luna popped out from behind a bush and said "They're called thestrals." John tried to copy, but failed like a great big faily thing. It was pathetic.
Vermeer knew this so he cried like a little girl. The author of this fic realised that she was a paedophile and was preying on young boys, about 10 or 11 years old. However it was regulation that they didn't wear underwear. This was shocking as underwear is generally considered a staple item of clothing, but after much debate, they decided to forgive and forget.
With nothing else to do, she hired the movie Girl with a Pearl Earring and laughed until she broke her spleen. When spleens become aggravated, they tend to react badly. They are very temperamental, but highly talented artists.
Griet is also talented, in fact, in blowing out candles with her nose. She insisted in using this special talent at birthdays, until health and safety regulations prevented it. She was sad, but they injected her with a sedative so then she felt scared, desperate and alone. So she decided to prostitute herself for the sake of all that is holy and right.
It is difficult to defend yourself against a blunt object in order to appear more intelligent to the public and we all know what that means (nudge nudge wink wink). Anyway, the point is that Johannes is not pronounced "Jo-hannes", and that knives are the most idiotic objects to symbolise in the history of symbolic items.
Griet rulz (pfft, yeah right)!