Disclaimer: Don't own it.
I understand some people may be bothered/surprised by that twist. If it bothers you, you don't need to continue reading. If it doesn't bother you, keep on truckin' people (don't ask me what that means, it was way before my time). Also, an early Happy Halloween to all! Enjoy the festivities, watch some scary movies and eat candy until your teeth rot (I am your dentist and I approved this message)!
Memoirs of a Master
Chapter 5
"Wow…did not see that coming…"
The Five could only nod, too dumbfounded to speak. Po started to feel a little uncomfortable in that room, wondering what they were all thinking. So he asked, "So…his best friend was gay. Huh, imagine that…"
More stupefied silence.
"Not that there's anything wrong with that, right?"
Immediately the ice was broken and they simultaneously and vehemently denied, "No, of course not!"
"No way!"
"Nothing's wrong with that."
"It's perfectly natural, I think…I mean, it's not like he chose to be…"
"It's not totally a lifestyle choice…"
Tigress voiced what was everyone's secret fear. "But…if Li was…does that mean Master Shifu is…?"
Po's eyes widened. That hadn't occurred to him, but judging from the awkward silence that followed, that was exactly what made them so quiet. It surprised him; was he more accepting than they were, despite his upbringing with a traditional and at times old-fashioned father? Were they bothered at the idea of their master being…?
He took the scroll from Viper, who acquiesced silently. He looked at the scroll and found there was more. "Well, at least let's see his reaction before we all judge him, right?" He began reading.
…In the next few seconds, my mind started to race, so fast that I started to feel dizzy…or was it the kiss? Dangerous thoughts ran unfiltered through my mind and with consternation I realized it felt good. But as enjoyable as it was to be in such close quarters with someone I cared about, I felt nothing behind the kiss; nothing nearing attraction, that is. But behind his lips demonstrated a passion I never before detected, or expected from him.
In that moment I realized that was what made me uncomfortable…not the kiss. When had this passion surfaced? Had it always been there, and I had never noticed? I knew he was passionate about kung fu, but it never occurred to me his heart called out for something else. His being a homosexual was not what bothered me…it was seeing him for the first time as a sexual being that both surprised and worried me.
He tore himself away, looking horrified at what he had done. I couldn't begin to say how I must have looked. I was certainly stunned, dazed, and any number of similar synonyms…but to both his shock and mine, I wasn't upset. Yet oddly, my right eye started to twitch…
"Wow…" I said. "That was...unexpected."
Li leaned against the tree trunk, looking utterly traumatized. "Gods in heaven…what have I done?"
"Um, I think you just kissed me…"
He fell to his knees, wheezing and sucking down quick breaths. He started to curse vehemently; Li never cursed. "Shit…oh shit…"
"Li! You know how Master Oogway feels about language like…"
"Oh shut up!" he snapped, "What else am I supposed to say?!"
"How about…'I'm sorry for keeping this from you'? Or…"
"Aren't you mad?" he asked. "Aren't you upset? Don't you want to beat me up or kill me or…any of that?"
"No, a little, and no way!" I answered each question respectively. I was upset, but only because he was upset. But I knew why, of course; homosexuals were people I had heard of from my parents and from whispered offensive jokes in the village. It was supposed to be objectionable, immoral, sinful, and homosexuals—sometimes called sodomites—were supposed to be disgusting, despicable, even evil people.
But Li wasn't any of that. He was still Li; he was still my best friend. Nothing about him had changed in my mind, and neither had our friendship, or my feelings.
Believe me, even I was surprised by how well I was taking it. Especially given the way he had broken the news to me.
"You should talk to Master Oogway…"
"Fu, I can't…he'd turn me away," he said, desperation in his tone.
"What makes you say that?"
"You know what I am!" he cried, and I could see the fear in his wide brown eyes, even in that darkness. "You know that the way I feel is disgusting and wrong! You know that people like me are killed every day all over China for their disgusting acts!"
"Li, stop it!" I yelled; I felt like hitting him for being so stupid, but I held back. "You are not disgusting! I meant every word I said—you are my best friend, you're like a brother to me, more like a brother than my own brothers, and I'll be damned if I ever let anyone hurt you! If no one accepts you here, if everyone wants you to leave, I'll leave with you."
Though tears flooded his eyes, he sniffed and looked up at me, finally looking me in the eye. "W-what?"
"You heard me. Even if everyone rejects you, I won't." And I wouldn't. How could I? He was my first true friend, the closest friend I ever—and would ever—have.
He started to cry, tears silently running down his cheeks, matting the red fur. We had a past, he and I, so many things we shared, so many accomplishments, failures, milestones and experiences that no matter what he did, I couldn't ignore or forget. Even if his being attracted to men, not women, was seen as immoral and a sure straight path to hell, I couldn't forsake him even if I wanted to. If that made me damned as well, so be it.
I knelt next to him and hugged him. "I know you don't want to, but I think you should talk to Master…"
"I'm not ready…Ren was right, I'm not ready…and I am confused…"
He was confused? How did he think I felt? "You can't hide it forever."
"I know."
"I promise I'll keep it a secret, if you want me to."
"I know…thank you."
We sat like that for I don't know how long. I didn't care how late we'd be, I just wanted him to feel better. But I knew as well as he did the later we stayed out the more worried our families would be.
"It'll be okay," I said. "I promise…even if things get bad, I'll make it okay."
"Fu?"
"Yeah?"
"When I…when I did what I did…what were you thinking?"
"Um…I kinda wasn't…" I confessed.
"But did you like it?" he asked hesitantly, fearing my answer.
"Whaddya mean?"
"I mean, did you…like it, like it?"
Ah, we had gotten to that. He was essentially asking if I preferred males as well. I was honest, as I had always been with him: "No offense, Li, I mean, you're a good-looking and nice guy and all…but I think I like girls."
He gave me his first smile of the evening, chuckling, "I understand. I kinda figured, too. But you had no idea I was…?"
I patted his back, "I'm not the most observant person here, you know."
"But you're still observant…I think Song knows."
"Song knows a lot of stuff—if she did, I think she woulda talked to you about it by now."
Li paused, then nodded, "That makes sense." Another pause. "But…this doesn't change anything, right? We're still friends…"
I gave him a one-armed hug, "Until the end. I promise."
Another long awkward pause between us ended when Li asked, "That kiss wasn't so bad, right? I mean, was I—it, any good? I mean, it's not like it was your first kiss or anything," he laughed.
I stopped. My right eye started to twitch again. Li stopped as well, a shocked and guilty look on his face. "Oh…Oh, man, I'm so sorry…"
"That's…that's okay," I said, trying to convince myself. "I guess I'll have to kiss a girl now to confirm my…" what was the word?
"Heterosexuality?" Li helped.
"Yeah, that."
He snickered, "Maybe Song would oblige…"
"And risk having my eyes scratched out? Forget it."
"Just a suggestion…"
"Um…"
"Yeah?"
"Was that your first, too?"
He blushed, "Um, yeah…"
I couldn't believe the words coming from my mouth. "Wow, um…well, you'll make someone a really lucky guy…"
"Not that this isn't awkward or anything…" he muttered.
Awkward? No, never…yet we decided to leave the conversation at that.
We four were up the next morning when the gong sounded, as usual greeting Master Oogway with our "Good morning, Master!" and rousing our families from slumber. It surprised me to see Master Jian Qiang looking tired and sluggish. He was a kung fu master, and a teacher, wasn't he supposed to set an example? Terbish, Ochir's father, reacted similarly, looking shocked to see his son up so early. Song glanced over her shoulder; her mother must have still been sleeping. My mother on the other hand awoke instantly. She smiled at me, and I smiled back.
Oogway nodded at us and instructed, "To the bathhouse, the four of you—remember to wear your uniforms today, you want to look your best."
"Yes Master!" we chorused. My mother stood on tiptoes to kiss my cheek, "We'll see you at breakfast, love."
While we filed out, I could hear Master Oogway behind us, rousing everyone from sleep. I glanced over at Li, who still looked a little shell-shocked from the night before. Song sent a look my way, silently begging the question "what's wrong with him?"
"Later," I mouthed. She nodded in understanding, and it made me wonder…did she really know?
We boys went to one side of the bathhouse, Song to the woman's side. I admit to feeling a little uncomfortable undressing that morning, feeling like someone was watching me. A nagging thought entered my mind: if Li was attracted to men…was he also attracted to me? That doesn't change anything, I told myself. We're friends, and I do what any friend would do.
Even still, I was unusually modest about getting into the communal bath with them—let's be honest, as we got older, it did get slightly more awkward. For now though, I don't think either of us cared.
Li yipped suddenly, turning bright red when Ren suddenly joined us, a towel around his waist.
As if it couldn't get any more awkward…
"Do you mind if I join you?"
Ochir, who had absolutely no idea—thank the gods—smiled and waved him in. "Sure, whatever. We're all guys here, right?"
Li looked like he wanted to drown himself; I was starting to think it was a good idea. One sidelong glance at my friend, who had turned his back to us to rub soap furiously into his fur, told me what I should have gotten when he confessed his particular orientation.
He wasn't attracted to me…he was attracted to Ren! Then the second revelation hit me…Judging from the close—even intimate—hug I saw last night…that must have meant Ren was…oh sweet goddess of mercy.
I willed myself to stay put and finish my bath, albeit quickly. Ren and Ochir were engaged in a civil conversation, both taking their time and excitedly talking about the warriors who would face off later today. Li suddenly ducked underwater, rinsed off and quickly exited, drawing confused looks from the rhino and wolf. "What was that about?" Ochir asked.
"Late for breakfast!" I said quickly, grabbing my own towel. "Heh, um, Mom hates it when anyone's late. See you!" I scampered out of there as quickly as I could, certain that I had left behind two very confused students. I caught up with Li in the changing room, remarking, "That was awkward…"
"No, that sucked," the fox said.
"Are you angry with him?"
"With Ren? What makes you think that?"
I gave him a deadpan look.
"You saw the looks I gave him?" he whispered.
"Yup."
"Crap."
"What did I say last night? I'm not going to judge you…but I don't want to see you get hurt, either."
"Would you be this way with a girl?"
"You know it," I said with a half-smile, punching his arm.
He smiled, beginning to towel off. "Thanks…um, did you want to do that behind the screen?" He nodded in my direction; I was gripping the towel so tightly around my waist it should have cut off my breathing.
I answered too quickly, "Yeah."
He smiled wanly, "Okay, I understand."
"I'm sorry…" I said, knowing that despite my earlier words, dressing and undressing in front of him made me self-conscious. I'd only known for less than twelve hours that my closest friend in the world was gay; cut me a little slack.
"Don't be. What do you want me to say if Ochir asks…"
"Tell him my family taught me to be a prude."
Li laughed. "Yeah right, that's the last thing I expected from you!"
It was true. When I had turned twelve, the three of us had noticed certain…changes in Song, particularly her behavior. I, being curious, asked Master Oogway what was wrong with her.
"Nothing's wrong with her, it is perfectly natural…it is Song becoming a woman."
"Huh?" Ochir asked.
Oogway just smiled and sat us down. Song was "resting" in her room; we found out very soon what caused her mood swings and sudden pain in her lower abdomen. Now, we had trained for a few years, so broken bones, and bleeding cuts, and blood in general weren't something we were squeamish about. This kind of blood on the other hand…I remember we all shuddered, except for Oogway who only chuckled and continued.
"I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you boys where babies come from…"
If one thinks having such a conversation with their parents is awkward, imagine getting "The Talk" from a nearly 1000-year-old tortoise who just so happens to be your kung fu teacher. Oh, we learned plenty about babies that day. We learned plenty about female anatomy (mind, I didn't want to know how Oogway knew these things about women. There are some questions you're better off not asking). We learned about the changes that would happen to our own bodies. We also learned what happened when a man and a woman love each other very much.
At the time, we'd laughed it off, thinking he wasn't serious. We asked again two years later, after the aforementioned changes started happening, and realized he had been perfectly serious. To avoid that awkward moment, we did what any young man was apt to do: beat the crap out of each other so we didn't have to think about it. Perhaps Song had a point when she said boys were weird.
Since we had become aware of "clouds and rain" as Oogway had called it, suddenly those off-color jokes we'd heard in the village made sense. I kept Ochir and Li laughing with a few of my own; it embarrasses me to think I knew what I was talking about.
No, Ochir knew I was no prude. Sexually repressed, maybe, but no prude. I toweled off and dressed quickly, meeting Li outside just as Ren and Ochir left the baths. Li still looked flushed, gulping down air like life-giving water. "You okay?"
"I will be, if I don't have to sit next to him."
"You know you just jinxed it."
He stopped dead, then cursed. "Damn it."
Oh, he'd jinxed it, alright. In fact, he was seated right in between Ren and Master Oogway. I don't think he could have had any worse bad karma. Needless to say, I did not envy Li's position. I would not have been as conversational as he was being with his lupine companion, but he was fortunate his red fur hid his blush very well. I could only imagine the string of curses running through his head. Within the next couple of years, he would have the foulest mouth of the lot of us (though I came in at a close second).
"Could he be anymore obvious?" Song whispered.
I froze. "You…you know?"
She rolled her blue eyes at me, "Please, I might be pretty, but I'm not stupid. I'm surprised it took you so long to get it…or did he tell you?"
I lowered my ears, "Last night, he told me…"
"Took him long enough."
"How did you know?"
"I figured it out when I learned he was the only one who didn't try to take a peek at me while I was dressing in the morning."
I averted my gaze uncomfortably. Okay, Ochir and I were guilty, I admit it. We were teenage boys, what did she expect? And fine, maybe we tried sneaking peeks while she was in the bathhouse too…
"How long have you known?" I asked.
"A year. I'm waiting for him to tell me."
"You're okay with it?"
"I'm surprised you are," she confessed, looking me dead in the eye. "You came from such a traditional family…"
"Who I haven't seen for ten years," I reminded her. She sighed and nodded, remembering the strained conversation at the breakfast table. My father had embarrassed me by asking why Song bothered to learn kung fu, should she not be preparing for marriage soon? I cut him down before she had the chance to unsheathe her claws. I told him what an amazing fighter she was, how she far exceeded even my abilities, and how I hoped I could be a fraction of a fighter as she was. My mother almost dropped her chopsticks in shock; the rest of my family looked scandalized. A look over to Master Oogway showed me he was trying to hide a smile and conceal a laugh behind his teacup.
I had changed more than I thought; it hadn't occurred to me how…backward my family's views could be sometimes. But they had never met a homosexual, to my knowledge. How could they judge what they did not know? Moreover, I worried that if they knew about Li, and about our close friendship…would they think I was a homosexual too?
The gong sounded and the first match was set to begin. We cheered the True Masters, one representing every province in China. What a menagerie! Oxen; strange creatures with long elongated noses called "elephants"; rhinos, antelopes; sheep; dogs and cats; frogs and birds; lions and tigers and bears and…oh my! Standing next to Master Jian Qiang stood a creature I had never seen before, but one I would become very familiar with in my future.
It looked like a cat, but unlike any I had ever seen. His fur had a silvery sheen in the sunlight, dark grey rosette spots covering his body, his build strong and brawny, making Master Qiang look puny in comparison. His tail was longer than even a tiger's, spotted as well, and as bushy as a fox's. Fearsome claws extended from his large paws and a chiseled yet weather-beaten façade completed my overall impression of this creature being a formidable warrior. The feline's silver-blue eyes—so rare in his species, I later learned—flicked to the side, catching Master Qiang's gaze, and both smirked at each other. I knew that when—not if—these two faced off, it would be a battle to end all battles.
I tapped Master Oogway's arm. "Master, what kind of creature is that?"
Oogway followed my pointing finger and chuckled. "I'm not surprised you don't know. It is very rare to see a snow leopard outside of the northern and western mountains."
"A snow leopard? Is that what he is?" Truth was, I had only heard of them as creatures of myth. Grandmother had told us stories about Snow Cats, more ferocious than tigers, and formidable creatures that lived on the peaks of the highest mountains, braving blizzards and feeding on ice and whatever unfortunate soul wandered too far into their territory. Now that I was older, it was no wonder why people who climbed the tallest peaks were never heard from again: the fools would freeze to death up there, and no one was stupid enough to go looking for them. Because those people never received proper burials, the mountains earned reputations for being haunted by hungry ghosts; thus, the Snow Cats became "gods of the dead", whether they liked it or not.
Now that I had seen a snow leopard for myself, I caught myself thinking, "he doesn't look like a death god". He looked hot—physically, I mean; in the south china summer heat, and all that fur, I didn't envy him—but dangerous and evil, no.
"Oh yes," Oogway smiled knowingly; he'd heard those same superstitious stories, and then some. "As a matter of fact, I believe he is the student of someone I trained well over fifty years ago…his name escapes me at the moment."
The gong sounded again, signaling the first pair of fighters to take their positions. An ox armed with twin hammers faced off against an antelope bearing a spear and net. They bowed to Master Oogway, then to each other, and the match began.
The day was quite exciting, to see every fight, cheering the winners, gasping at particularly nasty blows, booing those who we felt had cheated. I flicked my eyes over to Li, who was sitting enraptured with the fights below, and completely missing the looks Ren was giving him.
Then I spied Master Jian Qiang sitting on the sidelines next to the silver-eyed snow leopard. The wolf was staring up at his son and former student, only half-listening to what his companion was saying until the cat nudged him with his elbow. I felt a lump rise in my throat; did Ren's father know, too?
Song grabbed my arm, "Master Jian Qiang and my mother are up next!"
Master Miao Li had performed very well in the earlier rounds, but now she was up against a true opponent: her old comrade-in-arms, Jian Qiang. The pair met on the arena floor, bowed to each other; I could read their lips. He said "Just like old times."
She frowned, "Let's hope it's not too much like old times."
I had little time to wonder what they meant by that. They were equally armed with staves, which I was excited about. Maybe I could learn something from these masters that could help me in my own training.
Miao Li struck first, Qiang blocking swiftly, then twirled the staff over his head, swinging it towards her middle. She blocked, and quite quickly the battle turned from simple and lightly carefree—much like sparring—it became more heated, as if the two of them couldn't stand each other. I looked to my right; Master Oogway looked worried at what he saw. Before he had the chance to cut it short, Qiang cut Li down, striking her knee, causing it to buckle and make her fall. Oogway cut it short immediately, calling Jian Qiang the winner of the match.
It was the look the older feline sent to the wolf that both startled and amazed me; I expected her to be angry, because he'd used a very sneaky and barely legal blow. Miao Li looked saddened, yet…was that hope I saw in her eyes? Song, however, was livid.
"That son of a…"
"Song!" I hushed her. "He's a master!"
She hissed back, her lips barely moving, "He knows that's my mother's weak knee! She injured it years before I was born, fighting side by side with him."
That couldn't be. As I watched Master Jian Qiang and Miao Li bow in respect to each other, I was horrified by the idea he would be so dishonorable. Oogway seemed to sense my unease, having heard Song's outburst.
"You mustn't blame him, Small One," he said. "That is what kung fu is about, using your opponent's weakness against them."
"Master, there's no way that could be legal…or right."
"In the context of a match like this, it is perfectly legal, but that is as far as I will allow it. There are to be no death matches here."
"Why did he fight so fiercely? He seems so nice…"
"Many warriors who seem kind are the ones their opponents underestimate. Do you think Jian Qiang keeps defeating the Mongols by killing them with kindness?"
"But…the point of kung fu is to protect, not harm…"
He sighed, "Inevitably, you will bring harm to another. It is true, kung fu is meant for defense, not offense. Some warriors adhere to that code, others do not."
"So…Master Qiang has killed?"
"It is not often that there occurs a bloodless war," he said simply, his smile fading.
"He hurt Song's mother…"
The smile came back, "Something I'm sure she'll make him regret later."
Suddenly the crowd roared. Below on the arena floor, the snow leopard had stood, helping Miao Li into his seat. He sent a glare to Qiang, then shed his shirt and picked up Miao Li's staff. Song and I shared a look; Ochir reached over and nudged me. "I don't get it," he said. "He's not scheduled to go today…there's no fight between a snow leopard and anyone else…"
"Something tells me he's not waiting," I muttered back.
"If I didn't know any better," Song said with wonderment, "I say he was fighting for my mother's honor…"
Oogway nodded, "That is exactly what he is doing." He stood, holding up his hand for silence. He nodded at the snow cat, "State your wishes, warrior."
The snow leopard slammed the end of the staff into the floor. His voice was strong and stable, but contradictory in its humility under such a commanding exterior; and yet I detected…youthfulness to it? "I challenge that wolf's victory; I feel he has taken advantage of another warrior's weakness, and I question that blow's legitimacy."
"You are fighting for the lady's honor?"
The snow leopard looked surprised at this interpretation. "No. I do not fight for honor. I fight for justice."
Oogway's face dawned with recognition. "Zigsa…I thought that was you. Very well, I will allow this. Choose your weapons, and take your positions."
Master Jian Qiang's face hardened, glaring at the snow leopard. I had heard of this Zigsa as well, though very little. Though rare to see most snow leopards outside of mountain ranges, this warrior was more of a diplomat and a judge than fighter. He followed in the wake of injustice, and fought it, sometimes within the legal system, and sometimes on the battlefield. I didn't learn the entirety of his vigilantism until later.
A collective gasp rose from the crowd as Zigsa held up the staff in his hand, and snapped it in half on his thigh, throwing the broken pieces away.
"What's he doing?!" Ochir gaped. "That fool's gonna get himself killed!"
"No one dies from getting hit with a staff," I argued, then pondered, "Do they?"
"They do if Jian Qiang's wielding it…" the rhino said ominously.
Qiang narrowed his eyes at the snow leopard, the latter leaning down into a low battle stance. They waited for the gong, then began circling each other. This was unlike any battle I had witnessed yet; Oogway stiffened next to me, and that was reason enough for me to worry. Glancing over, both Li and Ren looked pale. Song suddenly gripped my hand and I knew what was possible.
Unlike earlier battles, there was no clear favorite, and no clear winner.
Qiang's style was quick, fierce movements, not afraid to strike when necessary. But from what little I could glean from the snow leopard's style, he preferred low battle stances, keeping his body low to the ground, his fingers ghosting over the arena floor, his face trained on his opponent. That was why they were circling each other: they were waiting for the opportune moment, for one of them to give the other an opening.
We waited with bated breath, and it seemed not a single person in the audience breathed.
Qiang struck first.
Zigsa blocked it with his arm, grasping the staff with his hand and lifting up. Qiang jumped right over his head, landing in a split and swinging his leg out, taking the snow leopard's feet out from under him. The cat somersaulted backwards, landing in a crouch, and jumping out of the way as Qiang swung the staff at his head. Zigsa was a sight to behold, ducking and weaving, his powerfully built body belying a grace I didn't think possible in a creature so big.
If Qiang was getting discouraged, he wasn't showing it. He still came at the cat, blow for blow, the cat blocking every single strike without breaking a sweat. He turned on the ball of his foot, swinging his leg into a roundhouse kick to Qiang's side, the long tail wrapping around the wolf's ankle and yanking hard.
Zigsa landed in a crouch yet again, his fingers lightly touching the ground. He remained in that crouch as Qiang struggled to get back to his feet. He was holding his side; he had cracked a few ribs. I looked back at Zigsa, who hadn't moved a muscle, yet his eyes were trained on Qiang's face.
Qiang leapt high into the air, ready to bring the staff down on Zigsa's head when the snow leopard struck. Using only two fingers, he hit the wolf in the sternum. This drew a horrified gasp from the crowd, and Master Oogway.
I saw Zigsa's face pale, horror spreading quickly across his features when he'd realized what he had done.
Jian Qiang fell to the ground with a heavy thud. The arena was silent as a crypt.
Ren stood, taking a few steps forward. "He's…he's not moving. Why isn't he moving?" His voice echoed, and I heard Zigsa swear loudly before scrambling towards the body.
Oogway rose and moved with a speed I had never seen before. I had no idea a tortoise could move that fast; he was by the wolf's side in an instant. Zigsa was muttering frantically, his hands and fingers moving over the wolf's chest. "I hit the wrong nerve…" he swore again.
Oogway said in a tone that demanded immediate compliance, "Lift him up, now."
Zigsa obeyed, lifting the prone canine to a sitting position, the wolf limp in his arms. Oogway knelt behind the wolf, took a deep meditative breath, then struck the wolf's back with a single, open-palmed hit.
Jian Qiang's eyes flew open, and he sucked down air, coughing violently. He recovered quickly, his hand grasping the area over his heart.
The five of us youngsters finally let out the collective breath we'd been holding. Ren ran right to his father's side, his charcoal-grey face suddenly an alarmingly ashen pallor. We four students of Oogway ran out to assist him. Together, we helped the lupine master stand, and Miao Li limped out into the arena to help. I didn't think what kind of impression we made on the audience; my friends and I had far greater concerns. We later learned that the audience of villagers and warriors were impressed with our concern for our fellows.
I looked back over my shoulder after we'd handed Master Qiang off to medics. Zigsa still knelt on the arena floor, staring at the paved stones. He closed his silvery eyes as Oogway rested his hand on his broad shoulders. I heard him take a deep breath and said, "I wish to withdraw."
"You won the battle, and have many more before you," my master said.
"This was no victory—I almost killed him. He was lucky you reacted so quickly."
"Every warrior has a weakness," Oogway told him. "I now know yours as well as you do. You fought honorably and we couldn't ask any more."
Zigsa finally stood, looking guilty. "The fact remains that I could have killed him."
"In kung fu, this sometimes happens." Oogway walked with him off the arena, sending a hand signal to the referee to continue the tournament as scheduled. "You made a mistake; it happens."
"I didn't mean to…it was an accident."
"There are no accidents," Oogway said sagely; how was I to know how that saying would affect my future as well?
I stepped aside to allow the large cat to pass. Up close, I finally saw how big he really was. He towered over my master, and me, certainly. The snow leopard stopped, and turned his head around, sensing my presence, but didn't look down at me until I cleared my throat, "Sir, would you like to sit?"
The confused look left his face, then he finally looked down. His hand reached out, as if he were feeling the air. Then he knelt, his hand resting on my head. Surprise etched on his features, his fingers moved over my ears and down my face.
This was making me exceedingly uncomfortable, as you can imagine. I saw that by the seat he had abdicated for Miao Li was a long wooden staff, painted white. And for the first time, his silver-blue eyes made sense. I gasped sharply.
Every warrior has a weakness, and I finally recognized Zigsa's. He was blind.
"What kind of creature are you?" he asked curiously, bringing me out of my shock.
"Um, I'm a red panda."
He blinked in surprise. "Master Oogway…you took on a red panda as a student?"
"I did," Oogway said proudly. "You should see how fast he is."
You should see how fast he is. I thought that was incredibly insensitive. Instead of reacting in anger, Zigsa snickered, "Yes, if only…but I can see in my own way."
"Um, how, if you don't mind me asking, sir?" I asked.
He chuckled, pressing his fingers into the ground again. "Try punching me."
"Excuse me?" I asked. Was he serious? I couldn't punch a blind man!
"Just do it, small fry. Trust me, you won't hurt me."
I just stared at him, then shrugged, throwing a punch—to my amazement, he caught it! He swung his arm in a chopping motion to take me down, but I jumped up, somersaulted forward over his head and landed in a crouch behind him. He turned, looking amazed; then he grinned. "Ha! That's what I thought. Took him on for his speed and agility…I never would have thought that in a red panda."
"Small One never ceases to amaze," Oogway smiled.
I realized how he did it. "You can feel vibrations in the ground!" I gasped. That was why he pressed his fingers into the ground, and kept such low battle stances: to feel the vibrations from his opponent's feet hitting the floor.
He smiled and nodded, "Perceptive too. Oogway chose well when he brought you on as a student."
Blood rushed to my face, and I was grateful he couldn't see it. "My friends are much better than I," I covered. "Li's a great archer, Ochir's much stronger than I am, and Song is…"
"Song is Miao Li's daughter," he finished for me, "So I know she's good." He paused. "Why don't you and your friends come down to the valley for a meal at the Blue Dragon Inn tonight? My treat."
My friends looked shocked at the offer from a total stranger…who just happened to have come dangerously close to killing someone we knew; I did the only polite thing I could think of, "Oh, we couldn't…we wouldn't want to impose…"
"No imposition. I have yet to 'see' what you all can do…" he chuckled, "If my guesses are correct—which they usually are—I won't be disappointed."
I looked back at my friends, who still looked a little uncomfortable.
"I have a better idea," Oogway said. "Tonight, stay up here. We have plenty of food to feed an army…"
"You're sure I'm welcome?" he said in reference to Jian Qiang.
"This is my home, and you are my guest," Oogway said pointedly. Ren glanced at his father; this was an untold message that left no room for another interpretation. Zigsa was staying for dinner, no matter how Master Qiang—or Zigsa—felt.
I had gotten used to awkward dinners, but that didn't make them any more enjoyable. Oogway excused us early to train before our competition the next morning, and we bowed to our families and honored guests before going to the training hall's courtyard.
"Well, that sucked," Ochir said scathingly.
"Tell me about it," Li said. "I didn't think Master Qiang could glare that much…"
"It's his own fault," Song huffed. "If he hadn't hurt my mother, that snow cat wouldn't have had to beat him up…"
"Song, he almost killed him," I pointed out. "I don't think I'd be too happy to share dinner with him either."
Li stopped us and pressed a finger over his lips, urging us to be quiet. Ochir hid us behind some thick bushes, finding that the courtyard was already occupied.
"…wasn't personal," we heard Qiang say.
"Not personal?" Miao Li snapped. "You know about my knee, you've known about it for years."
"Li, please, lets not be like this…we didn't part on good terms last time…"
"You think? You didn't even come to my wedding!"
"Gee, I can't imagine why…" he said flatly.
"I had no choice but to marry him."
"You always had a choice! Didn't Oogway tell you that?!"
"I couldn't risk my family disowning me, which is exactly what would have happened if we had…"
"Damn it to Hell, Li! We were trained by a master who made us better than that! We are kung fu masters; we're not like ordinary people! That lowlife you call a husband doesn't deserve you!"
"Oh, and you do?!" she screamed. "You stopped deserving my love twenty years ago."
"What did I do that was so horrible?" he asked. "What did I do, Li? You loved me at one time, so what went wrong?"
"What went wrong?! How dare you act so innocent!" she turned to him, eyes blazing. "All that ever mattered to you was strength! All that ever mattered was kung fu! You swore you loved me, would protect me, and all those other empty promises that you never kept? And that girl…"
"Peony has nothing to do with this," he said darkly.
"She has everything to do with this!" she cried. "She bore you a son for heaven's sake!"
"Ren is only sixteen," he said. "So don't you think that he's the reason I married her."
"So you're going to blame my marriage on your unhappiness?"
"I would have done anything to keep you from marrying him! I would have given you everything!"
"Everything but a child of my own!" she snapped.
From our distance, all four of us could see the change in his expression, and we all knew it by instinct: heartbreak. "So that's it? That's the reason? All these years, and all you wanted were children…" he looked at her. "We could have had children…the students, we could have…"
"Could have what? Adopted? Don't you get it? That's not what I wanted, Jian! I wanted to know the joy of bringing life into the world. I wanted to have the same joy other mothers had."
"So you threw away everything we had…for a baby?"
"You knew our love was doomed from the start—we both agreed it would never get serious."
"But it did get serious, Li," he said, staring at her. "It did get serious…which reminds me, what did your husband say about it on your wedding night?"
She slapped him hard enough to send him reeling, and make us wince as if we had been on the receiving end. She spit on his feet. "Using that good-old double-standard, are you? How a woman can spread her legs to just one man and she's a whore, while men like you spread the legs of many women and its just 'boys being boys'…I wonder who the real whore is?"
He seemed to ignore the slap, though I'm sure it stung judging from the bruise that was developing under his fur. "What did he say, Li? Did he regret it?"
"No," she said quietly. "No, he did not. Our marriage may have been arranged, but the moment we laid eyes on each other, we knew we would be happy together. I was honest with him, I told him about our past, and he told me 'only one man? Well, I've had many more partners than that, so I can't pass judgment one you, can I?' He didn't care, he loved me regardless. We have beautiful children, and we are happy together."
"We were happy together."
"Is that what you've been telling yourself all these years?" she turned and walked away. "Its over, Jian. It was over a long time ago." She was gone a minute later, leaving him alone, dejected and rejected, in the middle of the courtyard. He sighed, rubbing his cheek, then he walked away as well.
We were breathless, but what Li, Ochir and I were feeling probably couldn't hold a candle to how Song was feeling. I bit my lip, looking at her. She looked shocked by this revelation about her mother. None of us knew what to say or even if we wanted to say anything at all. Finally, Song sighed and said, "Well, that explains some things."
We stayed silent.
"Oh come on, guys," she rolled her eyes. "Stop acting like someone died."
"Are…are you sure you're okay?" Ochir asked slowly.
"Yes, Ochir, I'm fine."
"Liar," Li glared.
"Okay, fine, so I'm a little shaken up…" she admitted.
I took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'll let you beat me up, if it'll make you feel better."
"Do you enjoy getting hit by a girl?"
"Not really," I admitted. "But I'm broke, so I can't exactly buy you another wall scroll, can I?"
She smirked; it became a sort of unspoken deal between us. Whenever something traumatic happened to her—like the time her grandparents passed away, when she heard there was a famine back home, and yes, even the day she first started her "Lunar Cycle" as we called it—a new painting or piece of art was acquired in some way, shape, or form. The pig who ran the art stand in the village stopped bothering to haggle with us.
She sighed, "Okay. I promise not to give you a black eye until tomorrow's tournament."
I don't know why I felt comforted by this; I shouldn't have, but that was just the nature of our relationship. It wasn't for another few years, until after I became a master, that I learned what "masochism" was.
Ochir stepped in, "Naw, beat me up instead. I can handle it better than pint-size here."
Yet another slightly damaging relationship; what had started as an all-out hate-hate relationship eventually became a friendly, competitive rivalry, full of similar insults, though lacking the sting they originally had. For instance, it wasn't unusual for him to poke fun at my size, and when he used the same word more than once, like "shorty" or "small fry" or "pipsqueak", I'd insult his intelligence and limited vocabulary. He'd bought a thesaurus not too long after, and our contest started anew. The credit for most elaborate and eloquent insult still goes to Ochir: "You, my friend, are an unapologetically nonsensical, pseudo-erudite cretin." Translation: "You're a gods-damned idiot."
Years later, that one still makes me laugh.
Song thought about it, then smiled, "Alright, pretty boy. For your sake, I'll avoid the face." She smirked when his hands moved down to protect the, ahem, most vital point on a man's body. "And below the belt," she added. "It figures men with all their big talk have such small…"
"Hey!" he cried foul before she could finish her statement, "You said you'd never bring size into it!"
"It's not the size, its how you use it," I smirked.
"That's what she said!" us three boys chorused and then high-fived each other. "Nice!"
Song slapped a hand to her forehead and ran it down over her face. "Ugh, men… And Fu, how did I know you'd take it there?"
"Because it's me."
"I call shenanigans!" Li grinned, making Ochir laugh. I think we realized too late that getting to bed that night would be near-impossible. We were hyper, yes, but we were "high on life", as they say. Letting off some of the pent-up energy that we had suppressed since our families arrived, and now, we just wanted to be normal teenagers: teenagers with sex constantly on the brain, yes, but teenagers nonetheless.
"If you three don't stop, I'm kicking all your asses tonight," Song threatened.
Feeling particularly suicidal, I said, "That's what she said! OW!"
"Pervert," she growled after hitting me.
We let Ochir and Li go ahead of us, and Song grabbed my arm, "So…you're still okay with our Li being…?"
"Yeah, definitely," I nodded.
"So how exactly did he tell you?"
My eye began to twitch again. Then I recalled what Li and I had talked about earlier. I glanced over at Song, and apparently I had a death wish that night.
Before she could protest, I grabbed her by her shoulders and crushed my lips to hers. Oh, this felt much better. While Li's kiss was…it was okay, I suppose, this kiss was fantastic. Song stiffened in my arms, and I'm sure her tail had frizzed up in shock, but to my shock—and probably hers—she kissed back, if only for a moment.
Then her fist collided with my face.
"What the hell was that?!" she snapped.
"I was confirming my heterosexuality," I explained.
She stared at me, utterly confused, until it finally dawned. "Wait…that's how he told you?"
I nodded.
"Oh…well, in that case, I'll let it slide. I'm sorry for punching you."
"It's okay. I probably deserved it."
"So…is your straight-ness confirmed?" she asked.
"Oh yeah. Yeah, definitely," I smiled, grinning like an idiot. I paused, then asked, "You're going to kill me now, aren't you?"
"Only if you do it again…without my permission."
"Do wha—?" she didn't let me finish, lightly pecking my lips. Wonder of wonders, my eye stopped twitching. Instead, I developed quite the stupid grin, one I'm sure put my previous one to shame.
"Tell anyone I did that," she threatened, "and I'll make you regret it."
There was no room for argument: "Yes'm."
Viper snickered. "Okay, I thought I liked Song before…"
"Girl's got moxie, I'll give her that," Mantis smirked.
"She moves fast for a thirteen year old…" Crane said slowly.
"Although Shifu did kiss her first…" Monkey pointed out. "Judging from what we've read, that could have played out the same way if Po suddenly kissed Tigress…"
"Do NOT get any ideas," the aforementioned feline growled at the panda.
Po rolled up the scroll, setting it aside, "Don't worry. Unlike 'Small One'…I'm not suicidal."
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