I own nothing. Nada, zip, zilch. I'm doing this for the hell of it, 'kay?

Thank god for the ability to eat solid foods again, that's all I'm going to say. I'm feeling much better, and I have some good news: Expect an update Wednesday evening next week, as it will be the day before Thanksgiving, which, for those not in the USA, is a huge federal holiday where everyone gets off to spend time with their families and be thankful for the blessings of the previous year (Not going into a whole schpiel about it, look it up on Wikipedia if you're so curious). Naturally, I will be traveling to see family, and will be without access to a computer for a few days. So, you all get a lovely update a couple days in advance. Good times!

Memoirs of a Master

Chapter 8

Monkey was the first up the next morning, despite the temptation to sleep in. Just because Tigress was infirm didn't mean the rest of them could slip up. Shifu had been gone for four days now, and as much as this little vacation was nice, that didn't mean they could slack off.

When he made it to the Training Hall, Monkey realized he wasn't the first one up after all. Po was practicing against the Gauntlet of Wooden Warriors…and getting his butt handed to him. The primate thought this was very strange; nowadays, Po could handle anything in the Training Hall with at least decent proficiency. He still struggled on the rings and the Seven Swinging Clubs, but otherwise, he had improved marvelously. What Monkey was seeing now, was just downright sloppy.

"Po?" he asked, seeing the panda stiffen. Monkey had never seen Po this way. Usually the panda was happy-go-lucky, letting nothing get him down, and cracking jokes all day long. Now, the Dragon Warrior was quite serious, an expression that didn't engage well with his jolly appearance.

"Hey," he said as a quiet greeting. "Sleep well?"

"Well enough, you?"

"Peachy," Po said sullenly.

Monkey watched as Po threw a punch and missed by a mile; the simian sighed, "Something distracting you?"

"Yeah, I guess…I dunno, I just got so mad last night…"

Ah, Tigress. Yes, Monkey suspected as much. He couldn't entirely blame Po for feeling so angry at Tigress' actions, and he couldn't blame Tigress for the way she was anyway. She had not always been like that. But it was none of his business to tell that to Po. Monkey wondered if Shifu had made any mention...no, he probably would not have mentioned much about Tigress until later on. Why would anyone care about how she came to the Jade Palace, so long as she did?

"You shouldn't blame her," Monkey said. "Tigress…well, she's a very guarded person."

"She doesn't have any reason to be!" Po said, finally nailing a wooden croc face, sending it flying across the room. "I didn't do anything to hurt her, I've done nothing but try to help, and all she does is…"

"Po, the thing you need to understand…she hates being the damsel in distress. She doesn't want to accept help from anyone, even if she needs it."

"She asks you guys for help."

"Only in battle. Any other time, it's looking out for Number One."

"Why is she like that?"

Monkey sighed, "That's not for me to tell you. She has her reasons. I know she's difficult, but there's more to her than you think. What I will say is this: she might look like she doesn't care, but in reality, she cares more than anyone will ever know."

The two males were silent for a moment, Po thinking it over and Monkey waiting patiently for the panda to say something. When he didn't, the simian waved the panda out of the Training Hall. "Want to get something to eat?"

Po sighed, "Yeah, sure."

It had gotten much colder during the night, and ice had already left a light coating on the ground. The two males used this opportunity to work on their balance and footing, slipping and sliding across the ice and frost-covered ground as they made their way back to the bunkhouse. Po only wiped out once, which they took as a victory in itself.

Viper, Mantis and Crane were all sitting in the kitchen, which was as warm as a tropical summer compared to the chill outside. Viper had slithered into a kind of "snake sweater" knitted from lambs' wool, the poor serpent utterly unprepared for winter's early onslaught. She scooted closer to the stove to keep warm, coiling tightly and shivering, while Crane fanned himself with a wing. When Mantis moved over to the window, Viper struck out, barely missing the insect; he jumped back and she went back to her seat, hissing, "Open that window and I'm squashing you!"

"Not my fault you're cold-blooded. I'm burning up in here!"

Crane rolled his eyes, "Can we try not fighting for once? Every year it's the same thing…"

Po cut off their bickering by inviting Viper to help him cook breakfast. She told him that Tigress was still asleep, though she wasn't sure she was better or worse. The snake did apologize for Tigress' outburst the night before: "She's usually testier when she's not feeling well."

"How can you tell the difference?" Po asked.

"Trust me, after nearly twenty years of training with her, I'd know," she said simply. Their breakfast was peaceful and quiet, and they followed it with an hour of intensive training. Tigress had still not graced them with her presence.

"You sure she's okay?" Po asked.

"I threatened to bite her if she even thought about getting up," Viper grinned wickedly as she sparred with the panda.

"Wow, harsh."

"Not really. I've used that tactic on her for years, and it never fails!"

"Isn't she going to be mad?"

"She won't take it out on you, I won't let her."

Po froze, "Wait, why would she take it out on ME?"

When Tigress eventually dared to test Viper's fury by leaving her room, the five other warriors were in the main sitting room around the brazier, handing out hot cups of milk tea and various hearty foods. The feline scowled, seeing that the only open spot for her was right next to Po. They were at each other's throats; whose bright idea was this? One glance towards Viper gave Tigress all the information she needed. She took her seat, wrapping a fresh warm blanket around her chilled body, ignoring the looks she was getting from Po. He didn't offer to help.

Crane took up the next scroll. "Okay, it looks like it's my turn…"

"How much time has passed in this one?" Mantis asked.

Crane paused, then nodded once, "Five years. So that means Shifu and Li are nineteen, Song's eighteen, Ochir has to be twenty-one, and Zigsa twenty-four."

"Wow, this must be the scroll where they all become masters!" Po said excitedly. Everyone else in the room shared his exuberance and Crane began, "We'll see…"

The next five years are a blur to me. There was very little of interest that occurred, or, at least, anything of interest to my intended audience. Master Oogway entered us in the tournament again, each year, except for the one that took place the year I turned nineteen. That year, we had more pressing issues than a kung fu competition.

Rogue Mongol bands in the north were inching further south in an attempt to invade, and reports from the Great Wall warned of strengthening numbers on a scale that had not been seen in centuries. The Valley of Peace had little to worry about, as it was in one of the safest geological locations in the whole empire.

But I was worried about my family.

Song was worried about her mother.

Li was worried about Ren and Master Jian Qiang, because they were right at the front of the line.

Zigsa, though he would never admit it, worried for his master and comrades who were also fighting against the would-be invaders.

As for Ochir, I knew that deep in his heart, he worried about his father, too.

At first, our concern did little to disrupt our daily routine. But as the days turned to weeks and weeks into months, not a single one of us could sit still. Meditation became nearly impossible for Song, Li's aim was completely thrown, Zigsa stopped sleeping through the night, and even Ochir, who was the sturdiest of us all, fidgeted and twitched on occasion.

Zigsa and I shared that much in common; as the news got worse, we lost sleep. In times like that, we felt no need for training so late at night, and meditation brought us no peace. So we would sit in the courtyard outside the Training Hall, under the tall oak tree, he controlling his breathing, and I playing the flute. The flute was a gift from my family, after my fifteenth birthday; it had belonged to my grandfather, and had been left to me by Grandmother after she passed. My two brothers saw no need to learn an instrument, when they spent much of their time farming. Oogway thought the idea was a novel one, and allowed me to learn to play. I was still not very good at meditation, but music provided that outlet, that much-needed release, that I couldn't get from just sitting and simply thinking about inner peace, and never achieving it.

One night, very close to the summer solstice, Zigsa and I were sitting up late again, I playing my flute, he just sitting, listening to the music and the rhythm of the night.

"Your songs all sound so mournful," he said suddenly.

I stopped, looking over at him, "How do you mean?"

"I remember when you first started to learn that blasted thing," he snorted, "Everything was happy, up-beat, beautiful songs about hope and love…now, all I hear in those notes is melancholy and woe."

I sighed, resting my flute on my crossed knees. "I hadn't noticed…"

I had changed much in five years. My voice had deepened (yet another period of puberty I was glad to see gone), I was now fully grown, as strong as I would ever be, and if village gossip were to be believed, I was "the cutest, next to Li, of course". Now, Li (and I am not afraid to admit it) was a handsome devil by then, with emphasis on "devil"; his wit and biting remarks could be acerbic at times, especially when he was matched with Zigsa, but that childlike mischievousness and natural vulpine slyness never left him. Ochir, as I predicted, was now a fully grown rhino bull, and so massive, not a single enemy would take him on and expect to win.

As for Song…well, any teenage girl has her own amount of beauty. She had been an adorable kitten, a lovely girl, and now, I was left puzzled and wondering when she had become such a beautiful woman. She was still the same old Song, but with sex appeal. A smart woman with sex appeal is a dangerous opponent indeed, especially if you're a man. She had grown taller, and we males were surprised to find one day that she had developed curves, and startlingly beautiful blue eyes. Her eyes had always been lovely, but something about them now was positively alluring…

Zigsa was much the same in appearance, with exception to some muscle definition. But his attitude had begun to change, I noticed, yet this was no seismic shift that can change the face of a mountain in the span of a minute. He changed like any mountain did: slowly.

But now I was looking at this mountain of a cat and wondering aloud, "Everything used to be so simple…what happened?"

"Nothing happened," he said. "We just grew up."

"So life has always been this complicated?"

"What do I look like, Master Oogway?" he snorted derisively.

I confess that lack of sleep affected my lack of a fuse as well: "Yeah, its no wonder you're not a master at twenty-four years old," I said sharply.

Zigsa snarled and dug his claws into the ground, his whole body tense. "That honor should have been mine a long time ago! Four years, Fu, four years I should have been a master already! What the hell is that old turtle waiting for, the sky to cave in?!"

"Master Oogway has a reason for every thing he does!" I snapped back. "If you're still not a master, that's hardly his fault!"

"What does he want from me?!" he demanded, standing and pacing the ground. He was so worked up he tripped a few times—though he was blind, he walked and moved like he had perfect vision—so I knew how distracted this was making him. "I train every day, until my body screams at me to stop; I push myself to the limits of my strength, to prove how strong I am, and where has it gotten me? Where, Fu? Where has it gotten me?!"

He was panting, and I was still sitting there, waiting for him to say something. Finally he sighed, holding his head in his hands, "Nowhere. I haven't gotten anywhere. Its like coming to a fork in the road and taking the same turn over and over again, walking in circles and going no further…"

"But if you know you're taking the wrong turn, why do you keep taking it?"

He turned his head in my direction and I could see the long-suffering look on his face, "You're spending way too much time with him."

Spending too much time with Oogway? Maybe I was. I was wiser for it; at least I hoped I was. But my question made sense to me. If Zigsa knew what he was doing wrong, why did he keep doing it? I fingered the flute in my lap, practicing the finger placements as I thought. Zigsa finally slumped down next to me again, sighing tiredly.

"Becoming a master is a rite of passage for a kung fu student," he said after a long pause. "Every culture has a rite of passage that turns boys into men. I should have been a man four years ago. If only you knew how it feels to be twenty-four, blind, and still be a boy in everyone's eyes…"

"You think your being blind is the reason?"

"What else could it be?" he demanded desperately. "I can do anything that you all can, I can do things even you can not do! So why haven't I become a man yet?"

"There's nothing wrong with waiting…"

"For how long, Fu?! How much longer am I going to have to wait?!" he snapped. He growled low in his throat, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "I'm going back to bed," he said suddenly, got up, and left, leaving me alone.

I sighed, shaking my head. I placed the flute back to my lips and began playing. As I played, I recalled the manner in which the elements worked in unison.

Water nurtures the earth, the earth is the foundation for wood, wood gives the energy and fuel to fire, which heats and molds metal, which turns from a solid to a liquid when in a heated state. Conversely, fire wipes out a forest to bring new life, giving nutrients to soil for plants to grow, and cleansing the earth. Water controls both fire by extinguishing it when it gets out of control, and metal by making it rust and dissolve.

As I worked out these philosophies in my head, I was interrupted when something fell to the ground with a thump and a loud quack. I opened my eyes and jumped to my feet as Zhou slowly picked himself up. "Zhou, Zhou! Are you okay?"

The goose coughed, clearing his lungs of dust, and dusted off his wings, "Nope, one of my better landings."

Well, there weren't any broken bones, and nothing had been damaged, so yes, it most certainly was a good landing. I credit Zhou for teaching me what I have since taught Master Crane of the Furious Five: "any landing you can walk away from is a good landing".

Still flustered, he nodded to me, "I'm glad I found you first. This message is from your natal village, in the southern Zhou-tong village…"

I grinned, pressing him for news. "My family, great! How are they? Did my cousins marry out yet? When's Second Brother's wedding? Has Elder Brother's son spoken his first word yet? Did Mama get over her cold—" I was cut off by the sober look on his face. Something was very wrong.

"Zhou?"

He sighed, "I need to get this message to Master Oogway; you might as well come with me…"

"Zhou," I stopped him, "Tell me what's going on, you don't need to tell me what the letter says…"

"I'm sorry, Fu…"

"Are they alive and safe?! Tell me that much!"

"Yes! Yes they're safe, and alive…" he trailed off, and my heart sunk when I heard the two unspoken words: "for now". My eyes glanced down at the scroll under the goose's wing, and as we passed under some lanterns, I saw dark red drops staining the outside of it. I hoped it was just red ink, and not what I thought it was.

We found Master Oogway in no time at all. He was meditating in front of the Moon Pool, the ornate golden dragon on the ceiling reflected in the still water. I knew he heard us coming, but he was as slow and deliberate as always.

"Master Oogway," Zhou huffed, still winded from his flight, "I have urgent news from the southern Zhou-tong village…"

"Ah…" my master said, slowly standing. "Small One's family is doing well, I presume?"

"Ah, well…" Zhou glanced quickly in my direction, then asked, "Master, I'm not sure that having Fu here is a good—"

"It is permissible," he explained.

Zhou paused again, sending a look my way. I could tell he didn't want to say anything with me there. "Sir…its bad news…its very bad news."

I felt my stomach flop and bile rising in my throat. Had someone died? Or was someone very ill?

"Ah, Zhou. There is only news, it can never be good or bad…"

"The Huns, led by the Great Khan…they've crossed the border, and are on a straight path for the Tong villages," Zhou finally said.

My master paused, astonishment in his wrinkled expression. "Well, that is bad news."

I don't believe I was physically ill at that moment, but vomiting would have eased the tension in my gut. The unthinkable had happened: the Huns had invaded China, and my family was right in their path!

"Do they know?" I asked. "Do they know what danger they're in?"

Zhou was silent; my worry only intensified. "Zhou!"

"They know the Huns have crossed the border…" he turned to Oogway, "But they don't know how far Khan is from them, or how fast he travels."

I looked to my master; he looked so concerned, his jade skin had lightened a few shades as he paled. "How fast, Zhou?"

The goose sighed, "Ten, twelve miles a day, give or take, and depending on the weather and terrain. The further south he moves, the faster he becomes."

My thoughts buzzed in my head like a hornets' nest angered by a stick being poked into it. How else could I describe the buzzing in my ears, drowning out everything else? I almost missed what Oogway said:

"Has the Emperor not sent help?"

"He has, sir, but it won't arrive in time…"

Oogway's eyes locked with mine; my throat was dry, but if I had the ability to speak, I don't think words would have done justice to the plea my eyes were sending him. My master sighed, accepting the scroll from the messenger. "Thank you, old friend. Go, rest, you have done well. Have a good sleep."

Zhou sent me one last sympathetic look before leaving the Sacred Hall of Warriors. I looked back at my master, who stared back at me. After a long pause, he sighed, "I know what is in your heart, Small One…"

"Master, let me go!" I finally begged. "They're my family, I can protect them!"

His next words broke my heart.

"I am sorry, Fu. I am afraid I can't allow that."

"What?" My heart was breaking. "You…you can't be serious."

"I am perfectly serious, young man," he said sternly. "One warrior can not take on the entire Hun army. Even a warrior as capable as you."

"You always taught me it's not the size of the warrior in the fight," I said, my temper flaring, "It's the size of the fight in the warrior!"

"But this is not your fight," he said, turning away from me.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" I yelled.

He looked back at me, studying my face. I was seething, "Don't you dare turn your back on me! I've given you my life, and given up everything else. I thought I would have to give up my family too, but you let me keep that. Now that I stand to lose them, I'm not going to let it happen!"

"Fu," he said sternly, "If you disrespect my wishes, then you are not the warrior I thought you to be."

"You taught me to always fight with honor!" I yelled. "Where is the honor in knowing you can help someone, and yet refusing to do it?!"

"Even if I allowed you to go, there is no possibility of you arriving in time to save them," he frowned. "It is too late."

"We can still fight the Huns!"

"Fu," he replied, "A single student cannot fight a horde that an army of masters was unable to defeat."

"I DON'T CARE!" I screamed. "If I fight them and die, at least I die with honor!"

"There is NO honor in a suicide mission!" he snapped. I cowed instantly, stepping back in alarm. He had never raised his voice to me, and I realized he had said my name three times in the past two minutes. I was in trouble, and instinct told me it was because I had talked back to him with blatant disrespect. But I simply couldn't stand back while my family's welfare hung by a fraying thread.

"Go to your quarters," he ordered. "We will discuss this no more."

He had given me an order, a direct order. He had never given any of us an order before. He was perfectly serious, adamant that I was not to disobey him. Wordlessly, I turned without bowing, storming from the hall and to the outdoors. As I descended the steps, I looked out over the Valley of Peace, to the distance, where I could see the faint outline of the Thread of Hope.

My heart felt like it had fallen on the ground. How could I abandon my family? How could I stand idle in the peace of this valley while they were in mortal peril? I suppose its no surprise what I decided that very moment. I went back to my quarters all right, but only to grab a few necessary articles. I stopped in the kitchen and grabbed minimal provisions, only enough to last me a week. My staff in hand, and a butterfly sword for extra protection, I snuck out.

Damn the consequences, even if I were disgraced, kicked out for insubordination, I didn't care. At that moment, I knew where my true loyalty lay. I was my parents' son long before I was Oogway's student.

I dashed through the village, the pack light on my back, and I cleared the village wall with a single somersault. Now I was on my way to the Thread of Hope, barely breaking a sweat, but my heart beating wildly against my ribcage.

Suddenly someone blocked my path. I skidded to a halt, and my jaw dropped.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Li demanded.

I glared, "This doesn't concern you; let me pass." I gasped when he drew his blade on me. He had come with his weapons, and he looked dead set on using them. "You take one more step…"

"Or what? You'll kill me? You don't have it in you! This is my family, Li, I'm not going to let them get killed, or worse! Let me pass," I gritted out the last three words.

"No."

"I mean it, Li, don't try and stop me!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked back and saw Song; behind her, Zigsa and Ochir stood, stone-faced. Song's blue eyes looked into mine sympathetically.

"We're not trying to stop you," she said. "We're coming with you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Now that the clouds were no longer covering the moon, I saw smiles on my friend's faces. "Then…Li, why are you in my path?"

He smirked, "'Cause I don't want you having all the fun."

"Master Oogway's going to punish all of you," I told them.

"Let him," Zigsa snorted.

"You bet," Ochir nodded. "This is one order I have no problem disobeying."

For the first time in months, my heart swelled with hope. In what was the darkest hour of my life to date, my friends were still standing by my side. In fact, four bags sat next to Zigsa's feet; the snow leopard tapped his white staff on the ground. "Supposedly, it'll take us two weeks to get there?"

Walking, yes, it would have taken two weeks. But I had been much younger, and traveling with a tortoise and my father when I had last made the trip. I nodded.

"The hell with that," Li smirked. "We can make it in five days."

"You think?"

"We'll be dead tired when we get there, but it's doable. We're much faster than we were as kids."

"The only thing that'll hold us up will be the bridge," Song reasoned. "After that, we can breeze through bandit country."

"Isn't that dangerous?"

Ochir laughed, "Like anyone's going to attack a quintet that has a snow leopard and a rhino!"

He had a point.

Song shoved me. "What're we waiting for? Let's get going!"

It's probably no surprise that I was terrified of heights. So was Ochir, which I found exceedingly ironic. Song, Li, and Zigsa appeared to take no mind to the Thread of Hope. The only thing they groaned about was that it was a thousand-mile bridge (or at least it felt like it. I doubt anyone ever bothered to measure its real distance. They said the Great Wall was a thousand miles long, but I learned later this was never the case). Yet somehow, by midnight the next night (I will never know how we did it) we had made it to the other side, and into bandit country. We had been running all day and all night, but didn't stop for long, only for water and a quick meal of travel bars; these were little more than baked hard cakes made of rice, wild oats, nuts and dried berries.

As Ochir had predicted, not a single bandit bothered us. They took one look at our weapons and the speed at which we traveled and kept their distance. We had seen them, and I wondered why we had ever feared them—they were little more than ragtag gangs, really. Perhaps most of them were farmers who were down on their luck after a bad harvest the year before.

Li's prediction of making it to the southern Zhou-tong village in five days proved to be incorrect; in reality, the trip would take seven days. It was still less time than we had expected. About day four, Song wisely called for us to stop and rest. We had made it, oh, I couldn't say how many miles, and we were exhausted. However, we had also exhausted our food reserves.

"We should be able to forage for something," Song said as we rested by a mountain spring. "Just remember to be careful of the mushrooms and berries you pick—some could be poisonous."

Ochir and Zigsa had set out, leaving Li, Song and I to set up a small camp. I was putting together a fire, making sure to use dry, dead wood to make as little smoke as possible. Song was in the process of setting up a couple makeshift tents out of tarps she had brought, while Li stood guard, bow and arrows always ready. We were silent as we worked, sure that if we weren't careful, we could very well be under attack with our two biggest warriors out foraging.

Song was in the process of rolling out our bedrolls under the tents when Li suddenly motioned for us to stop moving. We stopped, our eyes scanning the bushes and undergrowth around us. The way Li's ears flicked around told us that someone was watching us. The air hung heavy like a shroud around us, and we swore we could hear each others' hearts beating wildly.

Li held up one arm to signal us to stay put, and he slowly started to pad towards a bush. The tension was nearly unbearable as Song and I exchanged a brief glance; we understood each other, slowly reaching for our respective weapons.

Suddenly, Li sprung towards the bush, drawing his knife as a masked fighter raised a sword over his head. The fox blocked the downward strike, locking the hilts together and tore the weapon from the assailant's grasp…

"Li?"

He stopped short, staring in shock. Then his face broke into a relieved grin. "Ren!"

"Thank the gods!" Ren shouted, instantly grabbing his old friend into a tight hug, which Li returned zealously. We could hardly believe it: here was Jian Ren, son of Master Jian Qiang, now five years older, as handsome at twenty-one as he had been at sixteen, and still as amiable as always. Song and I let out a simultaneous sigh of relief, jumping up to meet the wolf. He broke the hug, smiling at all of us. He looked worn, tired, but relieved to see us. "I was just on my way to the Valley of Peace to beg for your help. My father and Master Red Claw have engaged the Huns just a few clicks north of here. They're holding them at bay, but we need reinforcements."

"Has the Emperor's forces made it yet?" Song asked.

"You heard about that? No, they're still another couple days out. They're marching double-time, so hopefully they'll be there in time…"

"You're traveling alone?" I asked.

"I had no choice, there were a couple other scouts that were sent out with conscription notices, we travel faster alone," he paused, still smiling, "I'm so glad I ran into you…"

"Master Oogway wouldn't be," Song said.

"Why not?"

"He specifically forbade us to go," Li explained. "Fu was the only one with the balls to go of his own will. The rest of us just followed him."

"Leader of the rebellion, eh?" Ren smirked at me. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"I'm just full of surprises," I shrugged. "Listen, we're making camp, and since we're on the same path…"

Ren sighed tiredly, understanding and accepting my invitation. "Thank you."

Ochir and Zigsa welcomed Ren to our party when they returned, having found sufficient stores of food. It was meager, but it was enough to get us to my natal village in time. Ren sat with us around our fire, giving us updates on the crisis.

"The Emperor's forces immobilized a regiment of Huns—if you can call it that—just outside of Kaifeng. As sure as the wind blows, not a single Hun will ever step into the capital."

"What about the Wall?" Zigsa asked. "They crossed it?"

Ren nodded, "They were ruthless, killed untold number of imperial soldiers. It was chaos."

"What are our chances?" Ochir asked.

Ren sighed, taking a long drink of water. "Before running into you, I would have said our chances were very slim. The Huns came out of nowhere, a surprise attack if I've ever heard of one."

"Do you really think we stand a chance to win with just us five?"

"A single grain of rice can tip a scale," Zigsa said. "Master Red Claw said that one warrior can mean all the difference in battle."

"Besides," Ren continued, "You all are students of Master Oogway himself! If anyone can help in defeating the Huns, it's all of you!"

Zigsa snorted; Ren sent him a confused look but Li brought his attention back, "You said something about holding them back…how did the battle go?"

"It was still going when I left; my father ordered me and five others to disband and go for help. My brethren have made it as far as Yunnan, Haijin, and Gauzhang. As long as the western parts of the empire still stand, we have a chance at winning."

"How are we on offense?" Ochir asked. Ren shook his head, and in the firelight I could see how worn and defeated the charcoal-grey wolf looked.

"Not good, practically nonexistent. We've been on the defensive since day one."

Ochir snorted, "That won't last long."

"How do the Huns fight?" Song asked.

"How else would they fight?" Zigsa asked rhetorically. "They fight as barbarians always fight: strong and swift offense, to overpower their opponent."

The idea struck me. "Then that means they expel a great deal of energy in the initial attack…"

"Well obviously. It's their brute strength that has won numerous campaigns…"

Li grinned slyly as he looked at me, "I see that look…"

So did Ren. "Fu, why are you grinning like that?"

Ochir and Song just chuckled. I looked back at Ren, "Oh, you'll see."

A short while later, Song commanded us to get some sleep. She knew we were in the habit of overworking ourselves into extreme fatigue, and she wouldn't risk us being in such horrible shape to fight Huns. Ren agreed with her, and he was the first to retire. Zigsa offered up his bedroll, and decided to sleep over with Li and Ren.

Song, Ochir and I shared the other makeshift tent; it was a tight fit, but the night was chilly anyway, so neither of us minded. I volunteered to get some more firewood for Zigsa, who had first watch that night. As I walked past the tent Li and Ren were sharing, I couldn't help overhearing their conversation:

"Do you still feel the same way as five years ago?" Li asked quietly.

"I'd be lying if I said it was easy for me to reject you like that. Ever since you left to train at the Jade Palace, home just didn't feel right…"

"You were six, I was four, it wasn't like anything ever occurred between us."

"You think that matters? I still missed you. Remember how we used to share a room? After you left, I slept alone, and I hated it, I still hate sleeping alone."

Li sighed, "You told me that I was confused, that I should wait."

"I wanted to spare your feelings, you know that. You were only just discovering yourself, and if I selfishly acted on my desires, I'd only be hurting you in the process…"

"That's also if and when your father found out about us—if there would ever be an 'us'."

"You're saying you wouldn't want that?" Ren sounded hurt.

"I'm saying that I'm not sure we'll live to see an 'us'," my friend said sullenly.

"Please don't talk like that, Li…"

"Ren, you don't need to protect me. I know this is war, and I know people die in war. I'm just trying to be realistic…"

"No, you're giving me a taste of my own medicine," Ren said sourly. "Not that I blame you, but I thought this was what you wanted?"

"This isn't about me. I didn't come all this way for my needs, whatever they are. I came out here for Fu…what? Why are you staring at me like that?"

I admit, I wasn't feeling very comfortable either.

"It's him, is it?" Ren asked, a sharp edge to his voice.

"What?"

"He's the reason you're out here?"

"Well, yes, he is. We are going to his natal village to visit his family…"

"I see."

"Wait…you don't think…oh, Ren come on!" Li laughed softly. "Seriously? Oh come on, you can't seriously be jealous!"

"Jealous? Of a perfectly capable kung fu warrior who understands filial duty overrules loyalty to his master? Jealous of a guy who is kind, has a great sense of humor, a big heart, a cute ass, and the body that could stop a stampede of rampaging oxen at fifty paces?!" he took in a shaky breath and faked a laugh. "You're right! Why should I be jealous?"

I heard Li sigh. "Fu's as straight as an arrow flies. And even if he weren't, it wouldn't work out anyway. He and I have known each other for years, and we're really close…"

"You're not doing a good job convincing me, here."

"I love Fu, don't get me wrong. I always will. But it's not the kind of love you think it is. I've been out with a few guys now…"

"What? You've what?" Ren gasped.

I winced. Oh, right, I remembered those nights Li went out. Song and I needed to cover for him, and we weren't entirely sure Oogway bought our excuses. There are only so many times you can say "he has a headache/stomachache/insert malady here" before it gets suspicious. Sometimes he'd come back from a date—for it most surely was one—and be in a bad mood. He'd sit with Song in her room and both would bash men. Strange though it was, I still laugh about some of the things that were said between them when they thought no one was listening. And on the nights when we knew it was a good date…well, we wouldn't see him until well before the gong sounded the next morning.

Now, this is not to say Li was promiscuous, far from it. He had only perhaps seven dates total, and of those, maybe three were good dates. Not many, for the average person, but we lived in the Jade Palace, on top of the Jade Mountain, with 1000 steps isolating us from the village. And we were training to become kung fu masters. We were far from "average"; those seven dates might as well have been seventy.

So, bearing that in mind, I knew why Ren sounded so utterly betrayed. "You didn't wait."

Li groaned, "Oh please, you wouldn't have waited either! I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not your wife. I don't see a ring on my finger, so don't even start!"

"Damn it, Li, don't you get it?! Those letters I sent, the little gifts, all of that correspondence back and forth over the years…and the bow! You're still using it!"

"Well, yeah," he said, "It's a good weapon, and I still feel like I didn't deserve it…"

"You almost didn't."

"What?"

Ren sighed, shifting a little. "The former owner died in prison, but before he did, he and Dad struck up a…friendship, I guess? Anyway they started talking, getting to know one another; I think Dad went into it trying to get inside the Mongol mind, but in the end, I don't think he cared much about that. That general guy was really smart. He liked riddles, and we swapped jokes whenever we saw each other. He wasn't so bad as Mongols go; he was educated, so cultured he might as well have been Chinese.

"Before we left for the tournament, I was talking with him, telling him about you. I told him I hadn't seen you since we were both really small, and I was supposed to think of something to get you for a birthday gift. But it had been ten years—who knew what you liked? We got on the subject of Master Oogway, and what he said about your training…when the general heard you liked archery, he told me to go into the armory where the Mongols' seized weapons were, and find his bow…" the wolf sighed heavily. "He told me to give it to you. It had served him well, the animals carved into the wood had protected him from harm, and in giving it to you, he said the bow's protection would pass on to you. 'As long as the bow has the blessing from his previous master', he said, 'his luck will pass on to the next'.

"So there we were, at the Jade Palace, the first time I had ever seen it, and there you were, ten years older, and I…oh hell, Li, I couldn't believe it was you…"

"Well, yeah, I get that I grew a lot," Li said, and somewhat sheepishly.

"It's not that," Ren sighed. "You were a man…a young man, yes, but still a man. And I thought you were absolutely breathtaking. Why else do you think I stuttered so much when I gave it to you? That bow stopped being a simple birthday present and turned into…gods, I don't know…"

"You tried to win me over with a gift," Li finished for him.

Ren laughed mirthlessly, "Gods, that sounds awful, doesn't it?"

Li sighed heavily, shifting on the bedroll. "Ren, I'm going to be completely honest with you. Yes, I love Fu. I love Fu like I love Ochir, like I love Zigsa, and like I love Song. But I'm not in love with any one of them. I'm not in love with any of the guys I've been with. And right now…I'm not sure I'm in love with you."

Ren was silent for a moment. "I hope you're just breaking my heart now, in anticipation that either one of us dies in battle…"

"You're right, that's exactly what I'm doing," my friend replied honestly, quietly. "So do us both a favor, and don't plan for anything long-term."

Ren was silent for a long moment; clearly this was not going the way he hoped it would. Then he sighed, rolling onto his side. "All right."

"Good night, Ren."

"Good night, Li."

I left immediately after, knowing I had intruded onto something that was far more intimate than I was previously aware. The intimate hug I recalled from five years before took on a new meaning after I heard the whispered good night shared between them. When many think of intimacy, they think of sexual love. This was not the case—had never been the case—between Li and Ren; their love extended far deeper than any love I had ever known, and will ever know. They had been raised side by side, and had shared the purest form of love that ran deeper than brotherly love, deeper than physical or romantic love, and longer-lasting than even friendship. What they had was something so deep that there were no words to convey how profound that love was.

And the tragedy was that neither of them knew it. Yet.

I gathered what kindling I could, left it with Ochir, who had switched with Zigsa, and retreated to the tent I was sharing with Song. She was already asleep, or at least I thought she was. I crawled under my blanket, back to back with her. Feeling the heat radiating off her body was all it took to keep me awake, and the conversation I had eavesdropped on was still spinning like a top in my head.

"I can hear the gears turning," Song mumbled sleepily. "Something on your mind?"

Actually, there was. I wasn't sure I should ask but… "Song?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think I have a cute ass?"

She was silent for a moment, then sat up, staring at me like I had grown nine tails. "WHAT?"

I repeated myself, "Do you think I have a cute ass?"

I couldn't be sure, but I swore her left eye started twitching. Then she groaned and flopped down onto her bedroll. "Fu, go to sleep."

"But Song…"

"Let me to rephrase: you go to sleep before I smother you with your own tail."

"Yes'm."

The next morning we were ready to set out. Ren had found a short cut that would get us to my natal village by the next morning, and we would leave as soon as we finished a quick breakfast. We ate in silence, probably for a variety of reasons. Ochir and Zigsa were still on thin ice with each other. Li and Ren were technically "fighting". And Song and I were trying hard to forget our short conversation the night before. Scratch that, she was trying to forget; I was still curious as to the level of attractiveness of my own posterior. But I rather liked having breathing as a hobby, so I decided not to press the issue, especially in front of everyone else.

After an oxymoronic deafening silence, Li finally sighed and set his bowl down.

"Okay, guys, before we continue, there's something I need to say…"

"You're gay," Ochir and Zigsa chorused.

Our jaws dropped. Song still had no idea Ochir knew. None of us had any idea Zigsa knew. Li was completely flummoxed.

"You…you know?!"

"Well duh," Ochir said. "Not the brightest, but I'm not blind."

Zigsa raised a finger, pointing at himself, "Blind, not stupid."

"How…how long have you…"

"Five years," they replied in unison. "Since the tournament," Ochir explained.

"And…you're okay with it?"

"We're okay with it as long as you remember to warn us ahead of time when you're bringing someone home," Zigsa said. "Remember, my hearing's better than most—I'd like to be told in advance to use earplugs on certain nights…"

Li blushed so bright a red, not even his red fur could hide it.

Ochir snickered, "And just be smart about it, alright? Don't go getting involved with guys I need to rough up later."

"Seriously," Li said, "You guys are okay with…"

Song voiced it for the rest of us, "Li, if you ask us one more time, we'll all take turns beating the shit outta you."

"And for the record, I'm gay too," Ren said triumphantly.

"Look, can we get out of this Kumbaya circle and hit the road?" Zigsa asked impatiently.

"It wouldn't kill you to be a little more sympathetic," Song glared.

"I am sympathetic. We have a mission to complete, and I want to get there soon. But oh, what the hell, if we're displaying our deepest darkest secrets, hey, guess what, I'm deathly afraid of water! There, I said it!"

"Afraid of heights!" Ochir said, "And squirrels."

"Squirrels?" we all asked.

"Fluffy-tailed tree rats…just ain't right…" he shuddered.

"I still sleep with a teddy bear," Song confessed.

And what was I to say? As far as I knew, I didn't have any deep dark secrets; I thought we'd told each other everything. Everything but…I looked at Song. I'm in love with one of my best friends… I couldn't say that. Not yet. Instead, I replied,

"I'm still a virgin."

Ochir snorted, "That's no secret, Fu."

"Hey!"

Song giggled and Zigsa had a hard time hiding a smile. Ren and Li, for their part, just looked relieved that their coming out had gone so smoothly with us. It was out in the open, and for the first time, they could be themselves without having to hide anything.

As for me, I was still harboring a few deep-seated secret fears. The first was of course my fear for my family's welfare. The second was fears of my relationship or lack thereof with Elder Brother; did he still hate me, or had his anger cooled over the past five years? I couldn't say. The third fear was that as a result of my blatant disobedience to my master that I was done with kung fu for good. If I were kicked out, rejected, where would I go? I had no other skills, very little prospects, and it wasn't like I could go back to farming, get married and have a family.

I wasn't sure if this was also on everyone else's minds, but we broke camp and set out, a grim silence falling over us.

And there we are. Not as happy with this chapter as I've been with others, but this is a transitional one into much more drama and stuff. As always, please read and review!