Holy crap, I can't believe I pulled this together in time! I wasn't expecting to be so mind-numbingly bored at work today, but there was nothing to do, and apparently half the office has already departed for the holidays...so fic writing, FTW. My little butt works all the way up to Christmas Eve. At least I get off the 25th and 26th. Boxing Day FTW.
I know I've said this about other chapters, but this one could have been better: there's a lot of transition here, most going into the next story arch (of which this is part one), and some confusion may occur. I tried to make it as clear as possible, I swear!
To those who don't know yet, I have a sketch of the Jiao Clan up on my DeviantArt page (click on "homepage" on my profile, should take you there). They're all there, even Ming Hua! (Not a shameless plug...no, never...). Anyways, if I don't update next week, assume I'm having a lovely Christmas holiday. Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noel, Nollaig Shona Dhuit, Froehliche Weihnachten, or in plain English, Merry Christmas!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kung Fu Panda, so please, leave an early Christmas present and DON'T sue?
Memoirs of a Master
Chapter 12
Mantis, perhaps, was not the most observant of the Furious Five, but he could hardly deny that there was something amiss about Po and Tigress. Now, he had always known Tigress to be tough as nails, gritty, the kind of girl who wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty, or work out until she was drenched in sweat. For that reason, he surmised, explained how he got along with her. To him, Tigress was "one of the guys"; Viper, of course, very much enjoyed being a woman. Tigress, for one reason or another, denied her own femininity.
Now, Po was another story. Mantis had to admit early on, he was starting to like the panda. When the others were willing to dismiss him, the insect had to admit that despite the hell Shifu had put the poor guy through, he wasn't a quitter.
Mantis hated quitters.
Before he had learned the delicate art of patience, that was another weakness of his. He never quit; he didn't know when to quit. He despised those who gave up too easily…but even he winced every time the panda hit the ground hard, or got scorched by the field of fiery death. The insect had even sympathized when Po got hit in his "tenders" while stumbling through the Gauntlet. It was something any male could sympathize with.
Not Tigress.
Now, Mantis could easily sympathize with her; of the five of them, she was a shoe-in for the title. While it would have been nice to be the Dragon Warrior, Mantis had to admit…he wasn't cut out for it. The weight of responsibility would have been too much for him to handle. And perhaps that same responsibility would have been too much for the perfectionist feline as well.
Po took on the title with characteristic aplomb, always humble, even when boasting about his own "awesomeness" and "bodacity". But inside, the panda was still the same kung fu-idolizing fanboy he had always been. He looked up to the Five, when it should have been the other way around. Sure, he had hang-ups about his body image, but honestly, who didn't? But his easy-going nature, sense of humor, and kind-heartedness combined into a personality that was impossible to dislike.
…Which made Tigress' recent conduct most puzzling.
Mantis lay awake in his tiny bed, pondering over this conundrum. He wanted to attribute her recent aggression to the sickness, but even when she was at her worst, she had never been as harsh as she was now.
And Po…it was not like him to lash out at her, even if she deserved it.
They fight like an old married couple…
Then he gaped at his own thought. Could it be…?
He shook his head. No way. No friggin' way. She hates the guy, and Po thinks—obviously—that she's way out of his league. In truth, she was; she was out of the league of most guys.
But, hadn't Tigress always behaved like a guy? From Mantis' own experience with the other sex (limited as it were, given his aversion to females of his own species), increased aggression, teasing, and other such unsavory behaviors characterized how most males handled interactions with females…at least in pre-adolescence. As they got older, women just intimidated them more. Was that Tigress' approach…if the suspected feelings even existed?
This thought pattern eventually led back to the subject that took up the majority of the past week: Shifu's memoirs. The way his master felt about Song—wait, her name was Yeying now—was obvious, even if he never admitted on paper that he loved her. But seeing as the red panda had never mentioned her to them…had that relationship never happened? Perhaps she had married another, like her mother had, in order to have children, thus leaving Shifu brokenhearted? It could explain his guarded nature. Hadn't Tigress said so herself that Shifu had loved his son Tai Lung more than anyone else before…or since?
Of course, the question of why was another matter entirely. Theoretically, they knew Shifu didn't swing that way. The insect shuddered at the idea that probably…no, it didn't bear thinking about. Totally gross…and oh yeah, wrong! Wrong on so many levels…
Outside, the gong sounded; he sighed and got up, dashing to the door. The others were still abed. He sighed again; once Shifu got back, there'd be hell to pay if he saw how much they had been slacking off. He could feel the chill from outside; another bitterly cold day. He looked over his shoulder and through his window—snow was falling again. Viper was going to be pissed.
Gradually, they all emerged. Viper went over to Tigress—probably to feed off her warmth—and felt her forehead. "Well, your fever's gone, and you don't look as bad as you did yesterday."
"How do you feel?" Crane asked.
"Okay," she croaked, a hand moving up to her throat, as if by massaging it, it would banish the sore and scratchy voice. Po just rolled his eyes, "Okay, Sore Throat Soup coming right up…"
She made a face at the thought of more soup, and clearly doubted in Po's medicinal abilities, especially after her last go at his remedies. Mantis didn't blame her. If the panda could pull together something so disgusting for sniffles, just what did he have in his arsenal for laryngitis?
He jumped onto Monkey's shoulder as he followed them to the kitchen. Mantis suddenly caught the look Crane was giving him.
Ah, of course. It was the insect's turn at weaving the tale…
A year had passed. We were instant heroes upon our return to the Valley, and our lives had changed drastically. That old saying, the more things change, the more they stay the same, seems to come to mind about that first year. We still lived at the Jade Palace, and trained every day to sharpen our skills, and learn yet more than we already knew. Our rooms were still in the same place they had always been, and yet we had new freedoms, and greater responsibilities.
We largely gave up the chores we had done before; Master Oogway told us one morning to just go straight to training, and when we returned, we found that the chores had been done for us…by new students.
It seemed that tales of our adventures made it all across the empire, and these young children were all there to learn from us. There were some adult warriors who came to train as well, but it was mostly children. I started teaching on my twentieth birthday, and it happened in the most unconventional way.
During the later spring months, when the spring melons were just starting to over-ripen, they would be employed in our training. I had been in the courtyard of the Training Hall, practicing techniques perfected by Master Jian Qiang, when I suddenly became aware of having an audience. A village child, a piglet, and his two lapin friends were silently watching me with mouths agape; I only became aware of them when one of them exclaimed "Wow, I wish I could do that!" And I turned to them and asked, "How would you like to learn?"
That is how I started teaching.
Those three, I will never forget them: Hu, Jin, and Tao were quick and avid learners, if at times easily discouraged. In one afternoon, they learned five different katas, and practiced them every day. I saw them weekly, at first, and marveled at how they improved. I asked Master Oogway if perhaps those who were "soft and weak" weren't as soft or as weak as we thought. He responded as he usually did: cryptically. "Nothing is as it seems, Shifu. Are the hard and strong really that hard or that strong, or is it a front? Are the meek really as weak as they appear, or are they only misleading us?"
In a roundabout way, he was telling me that it was not because of some inborn, natural talent that these villagers had; it was because they had such a good teacher.
"I could tell you two plus two equals four," he continued, "but it means little if it is not taught. You can tell someone how to farm, without teaching them. In your case, you can tell someone how to perform kung fu…"
"But what's the difference, Master?" I asked, unintentionally interrupting. "Is there really a difference between telling and teaching?"
"Of course there is," he smiled. "Just as there is a difference between showing and telling."
Confucius wishes he could be that deep.
"I'm not sure I understand," I told him. "But…I like helping them. They really want to learn kung fu, and I teach them what I can…"
"But?" he caught the hesitation in my voice.
"But I don't feel like I know everything."
"No one knows everything, Shifu. To know everything is impossible…"
"Ah-hah!" I pointed at him, feeling slightly proud I had caught him contradicting himself. "You said nothing was impossible!"
"Yes, nothing but omnipotence, and perfection. Those two things are not just improbable, but impossible. Even I do not know all things, and look how long I have been around!"
"But you're so wise…"
"Wisdom and intellect are not one in the same. One is something you gain in school; the other is one you gain in life. Knowledge of words is a gift I would deny no one; that is why I taught you to read and write. Wisdom is something you cannot learn from words, but from actions. A truly well-rounded person has knowledge of words, and knowledge of life."
"Knowledge of words makes sense…but what exactly is knowledge of life?"
"I believe the layman's term is 'common sense'," he said with a wink. "The longer you live, the more you have.
"If teaching Hu, Jin and Tao is something that makes you happy, and gives you purpose, then I see no problem in allowing this to continue."
"But Master, don't I have other duties? I mean, surely there's more…"
"Of course there's more, my friend. There is so much more, yet you can not do all of it. Everyone and everything has a purpose; the tricky part, is finding that purpose. In your case, it practically fell into your waiting arms!"
"But I'm not really teaching those three," I remember saying. "I'm simply telling them what I know—"
And there it was, that all-knowing smile of his. He'd caught me. I smirked, returning that smile. "Oh, you're good."
I was not the only one teaching. Even Yeying was fond of the village children. She was fond of the village in general. As a young child, she had not been allowed outside her family's villa walls; the freedom to walk amongst the villagers was something she celebrated, and never missed a chance on. She was the first to volunteer to go down into the valley for anything, really. Zhou went into early retirement because of her, and his son, Shing, was temporarily out of work.
Down in the valley, she made quite a few friends, whom she taught basic self-defense moves. It was something that motivated her; she had heard tales of spousal abuse, and made it her mission to teach her craft to all unmarried girls, as a means of prevention. Needless to say that within our lifetime, not a single woman she taught would ever feel their husband's strike or their mother-in-law's cruel comments.
Within that first year, she sought about perfecting her own style. This is not unusual: most kung fu masters will attempt to perfect a single move in their lifetime, though most are not so ambitious as to create their own form of kung fu. She sought to simplify it, make it accessible to anyone who wanted to learn it. She specialized in grapples, kicks, punches, but mostly deflection. Many of the moves she perfected in her twenties, I have since taught to Master Crane of the Furious Five—I'm not certain he was ever aware of this.
Within months of being named a master, she was easily the favorite in the valley, for women and especially for men. For a time, marriage proposals came in left and right, and she refused them all. I was proud of her for this; little did I know there was another reason aside from wanting to keep her self-sovereignty. At the time, I was just grateful she was "still on the market" as it were…even if, deep in my heart, I felt I had no chance with her.
We had been declared masters in the summer of my nineteenth year. By the start of that winter, we had a pleasant surprise.
One day, out of the blue, Jian Ren appeared in the valley, with the Mongol falcon Borte on his shoulder. Since the battle, she had become an ambassador between the two empires, and single-handedly orchestrated a cease-fire, and was in the process of drafting a peace treaty. Her only limitation was not being as familiar with Chinese custom on this; she hoped to study our philosophy under Oogway, to help her write the treaty with relative ease.
Ren's motivation, on the other hand, was purely personal. When he ascended the final step to the Palace, Li was the first one at the door. I don't think I had ever seen my old friend smile so much. The way they embraced would have made it clear to even one bestowed with the thickest skull that they shared an uncommon bond. If Oogway somehow did not figure it out sooner, he would certainly know now.
Much to my surprise, my master was surprised by this revelation. But as I expected, it did not bother him. In fact, he looked…happy, even elated.
"So, Young Ren comes to us all the way from the Capital City," he greeted warmly, but something in his tone said that he was much happier with what he was seeing than he was letting on. "Good news, I hope?"
"Well enough. I hope you received my father's letter okay," he said, bowing reverently.
"Yes, it arrived a week ago. A promotion for you, eh? Congratulations, Lieutenant," my master smiled.
A lieutenant! In the Imperial Army, what an honor! Even though Ren never became a master in kung fu, he had a long distinguished career in the military. Li, for his part, couldn't hide the proud look on his features, and I hardly blamed him. How many people could possibly boast that the person they loved had achieved such an honor?
"I wish I had sufficient time to prepare for your arrival," my master continued. "We have very little space now, what with the new students…"
"He can stay in my room," Li said, a little too quickly. Yeying and I shared a look; not that he wasn't being obvious or anything…no, never. But Oogway agreed anyway,
"Of course, a fine idea! We will bring another bed out of storage for your use."
"You're too kind, Master Oogway," the wolf said respectfully. "I hope I can repay your hospitality."
"You will do nothing of the sort, you are a guest, and it is not in the nature of a host to demand compensation for a gesture from the heart. Ah, but you have brought another friend!"
Borte, it was plain to see, was absolutely star struck. Apparently, Mongolian families regarded Oogway as the personification of the Black Tortoise of the North (minus the serpent). He may as well have been a god in their pantheon, he was so revered. To her, he was a living deity; naturally, she was a little intimidated.
Suddenly remembering herself, she bowed her head, suddenly subservient in a way most servants in the Jade Palace were not, and had never been. "Your Excellency…"
Oogway held up his hand. "Please, madam, I am simply Oogway. I am no royal, no noble, but a simple man who enjoys simple pleasures. There is no need for such formality. Borte, was it?"
She nodded, afraid to raise her eyes.
"How interesting. A warrior as fierce as you unable—or unwilling?—to look me in the eye."
"You are sacred to my people. I am unworthy of gazing upon you…"
He frowned. "I will not have that. You may look upon me as you would any other person."
She looked over at us, and up at Ochir, who nodded in confirmation. Finally she looked at him…and smiled. I smiled too; my master had that effect on people. No matter whom they were, what their business was, or the mood they were in when they arrived, he always managed to make them smile and put them at ease. Of any master I have ever met, Oogway was the most casual of all. His laissez-faire approach was unorthodox, I admit, but it worked.
"Come, Lady Borte," he said, offering his arm. "I am very curious about your home. If you would, please inform me, for I am unfamiliar with Mongolia; I wager there is much to discuss."
She looked at his offered arm cautiously, then slowly, very slowly, flew over and landed on his arm. He turned to the rest of us, "Masters, if you would help Lieutenant Jian settle in, we will meet for dinner in a few hours."
We bowed as he dismissed us, the tortoise and falcon walking along, already deep in conversation.
After they had departed, all sense of formality was extinguished as we greeted our comrade in arms. After a hearty bear-hug, Ochir patted the wolf on the back, "So, Lieutenant, eh? How'd you swing that?"
He grinned sheepishly, "The General, mostly. He got my foot in the door. It's all rather new to me, and I'm not sure I got the hang of it yet."
"You will," Yeying said, hugging him. "You're pretty damn smart."
"Definitely," Li grinned. "I have faith in you."
Ren shared the smile, grasping the fox's hand. "So," he said, changing the subject with a smirk, "I'm sharing your room, eh?"
Li blushed; Ren suddenly remembered something and dug into his pockets, pulling out a small package and handed it to Xue Shan.
"What's this?" the snow leopard asked, opening up the tiny wooden box.
"Um, ear plugs," the wolf answered after a pause. "I, um, remembered what you said last summer, and I made sure I brought enough for everyone…"
An awkward silence followed, which made Li blush so hard it was impossible for his red fur to hide it. Shan finally broke the silence, clearing his throat and grasping the wolf by the upper arms. "You, sir, are a saint."
Once Ren was settled in, the rest of us left the two lovers alone to catch up. We wisely advised the servants to keep out of the bunkhouse as the canines were "unquestionably tired and asked not to be disturbed". It was the least we could do for them.
We went to our respective classes, and afterward, Ochir went off to meditate while Yeying and I made our way to the bathhouse.
"What a pleasant surprise," she said. "It's good to see him again."
"Oh yeah, definitely," I agreed. "He's good for him."
She knew what I meant, and nodded with a smile. "He is…Li's lucky. But it reminds me…why haven't you found someone?"
Crap. To stall, tell the truth, or tell a little white lie?
The lie won out.
"I dunno; I guess it hasn't been on my mind that much."
"Oh please, you're still unhappy with the fact you're still a virgin," she rolled her eyes.
I crossed my arms stubbornly. "Yeah, well you're still a virgin too! I mean, I've been busy, with the classes, and training, and still learning all the scrolls."
"You can't hold that against me," she snapped. "I have classes too, and I'm also learning the scrolls! Men aren't held to the same standards as women. My mother was right all those years ago: A woman can sleep with one man outside of marriage and her life is ruined, but a man can sleep with as many women as he wants and no one has a problem!"
"Yeying, I don't pretend that I don't think its wrong—I know its wrong, but that's the way society is, and as much as we want to, we can't change it. Besides, just because I'm curious doesn't mean I'm actually going to…I don't want to hurt anyone that way."
"Of course not."
"What, you don't believe me?"
She stopped me, looking me in the eye. "I believe you," she said softly. "But right now, you're the only man I'd believe in. You're not like the others. Shan and Ochir…I had a feeling that, if given the chance, they'd jump on it. I know Li isn't in any danger of falling into that trap, because he has Ren. But you…" she sighed. "I don't know why I have this feeling…but I can tell you're unlike any other man I've ever known."
I'm not sure if she meant this as a compliment, but I took it anyway.
Our reputations grew. That winter, bandits attacked a village on the other side of the Thread of Hope and the villagers called upon our aid. Ren joined us, and we beat back the bandits easily. Ochir—Master Flying Rhino—practically shone in that battle. Those wolves were absolutely terrified of him, and a good number of them were killed; the ones who perished were the ones who dared to get close enough.
A few weeks later, Xue Shan—simply Shan, to us—had his moment to shine when word got to us of a cruel magistrate overtaxing his people. That was relatively easy—he still had his reputation as "Zigsa the Reformer", and as soon as the magistrate heard he had entered his village, abdicated his position out of sheer terror. Shan didn't have to lift a finger, and the peasants rejoiced.
Dong Li was next, when he and Ren went on a special mission together, turning back the crocodile bandits of Devil's Bog, in the deep southern part of the empire. Single-handedly, the two of them drove the bandits away, liberating the people who had lived in terror of the reptiles. Li's reputation as an archer became unmatched—along the way home, that same winter, other warriors challenged him in archery tournaments…and he always won. I don't think Ren could have been prouder.
That spring, of the year I turned twenty, and Yeying turned nineteen, she and I were called away to a village not far from her natal home. An army of fox assassins had made threats against the ruling family in the region—high treason against the family of the Emperor. I barely had to do anything—she excelled with the pudao, intimidating the foxes enough to flee the area. Those that stayed to fight tasted the full brunt of our skills, from my staff, and her halberd. After a single battle lasting all of three hours, the assassins were defeated, and were incarcerated.
While we stayed at the grateful ruler's house, she received correspondence one day from her natal village: a letter, from her mother.
We were at breakfast, and she excused herself to read in the courtyard's garden. I found her sitting on a stone bench, under a budding magnolia tree. The scroll lay open on her lap, her mother's cursive calligraphy like gentle waves in a rolling brook. This was writing unlike anything I had ever seen.
"What is it?"
"A letter, from my mother."
"Ah."
"She says she's well, and my father too. They heard about our victory…apparently Father is still boasting about it to anyone who will listen. He has said he is proud of me…" here her voice cracked. I saw tears moisten her blue eyes.
I just sat next to her and hugged her. How long had she waited for her family to acknowledge her like this? When was the last time they had told her they were proud of her? Had they ever said so?
"Are you alright?"
She sniffed, wiping away a fallen tear, "I…I think so."
"'Ying, don't lie to me."
"I'm not…I just don't know how to take this…"
I peered over her shoulder at the script…and I couldn't understand how she could read it. It looked like writing, but it was graceful, flowing…and I couldn't make out any words.
"What kind of writing is this?" I asked. "I mean, how can you read it? You don't speak a different dialect or anything…"
She smiled like she was holding a treasured secret. "It's women's writing, a special code we use to communicate with each other, so that the men in our lives don't know our true feelings."
"That's hardly fair."
"Is it? Put yourself in the shoes of a bound-footed woman, whose husband hits her, whose mother-in-law demeans, a woman whose life is utterly miserable. Who can she mourn to? How can she complain to her natal family when she runs the risk of her in-laws finding out her true feelings? It is through nu shu that we have freedom. It is the one rebellion we are allowed…and most of the time, men have no idea it even exists."
Clever, very clever. Any unenlightened man would gawk, proclaim women were not intelligent enough to create their own code, and develop their own language. I knew better. The more time I spent with her, the more Yeying was willing to give up information about the secrets of nu shu. It was a phonetic system, spelled out in syllables…I think in other cultures its called an…elpabat, alphabet, something like that. Each character stood for a syllable, and when written together, they formed words that a single character in "men's writing" would represent. Unlike Men's Writing, which had thousands of characters, nu shu had only a few hundred. Oftentimes, the meaning of the messages are only interpreted through context, and if one was not careful, they could get a meaning out of a message that is drastically different than the intended point.
For example, words like pear, pair and pare could be used, and the true meaning is based on the context of the sentence. It was a rather well-developed system, and something that impressed me all the more about the women of China. For all that they put up with—foot-binding, arranged marriages, spousal abuse, childbirth, abuse by their in-laws, high rates of suicide as widows, drowning or abandonment as babies—they still managed to survive. I highly doubt any man would be so resilient if faced with the same treatment.
Yeying ended up spending the rest of the day teaching me the ins and outs about nu shu, and ended up revealing a lot about womanhood in general. Some things made me all the more glad I was born male. Others, made me slightly jealous. They were clearly smarter, and more resourceful, something only confirmed later as I taught Masters Tigress and Viper.
By that afternoon, thanks to Yeying, I learned more about women than I think any man would ever know.
I finally asked her the question that has plagued men for centuries: "Yeying, what do women want the most? Of anything in the world, is it riches, jewelry, beauty, love?"
She shook her head, smiling as if I were a child asking a stupid question. "You think we're that superficial?"
"No, of course not! I just, you've told me so much, but what I really want to know is…what women want. What they really want."
She thought about it for a second, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. Then when she opened her eyes, she smiled at me. "What do women want?"
"Yes," I said.
"What women desire most…is to be their own person."
I paused. "That's it?"
"That's it."
"So…they just want freedom?"
"Not just freedom. All we want…is to have the same sovereignty that men enjoy. We don't want to be equal—we know we're not the same. But we want the same freedom. Does that make sense?"
It made perfect sense. Finally, I had an answer to a question that had made philosophers ponder and lament lack of answers, for truly women are a mysterious breed in and of themselves. But in that moment, knowing what I knew then…perhaps men and women were not so different after all. Perhaps Yeying and I were more alike, and more suited for one another, than we ever guessed.
Another year passed.
It was the year I turned twenty-one; Yeying would be twenty by the end of the summer.
Ren didn't stay long at the Jade Palace. He returned in autumn, in the same year I turned twenty, to the Forbidden City, and he was not to return until the next summer. Borte was going with him; apparently they had become fast friends in the past two years. And thanks to Oogway's instruction, she had learned much of how we Chinese think, and she had taught him a fair deal about Mongols as well. It was a fortunate partnership.
The night before Ren was to leave, I recall returning to the bunkhouse to catch some sleep. Shan was sitting out on the porch with Ochir and Yeying, all three looking quite tired, a little irritable, and packing the bedrolls they used for camping.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Tonight's a good night for sleeping under the stars," Ochir said.
"Um, okay…is it just you guys?"
"No," Yeying said. "You're coming too."
"I don't get a say in this?"
"Nope."
"What's wrong with sleeping in the bunkhouse?"
Shan spoke up, irritable from exhaustion, "Because Ren and Li are not sleeping."
My eye began to twitch again. "…Oh…"
"Earplugs don't do a damn thing, by the way."
"Really? They've worked before…"
"Not tonight," Yeying said. "I'm thinking the peach tree is a good place."
"Peach tree is a great place," Ochir agreed.
I sighed, picking up the bedroll Yeying had provided for me. As much as we griped about camping out that night, none of us would say anything against the lovers. After all, Ren would be gone for three months, possibly six, if he stayed the winter. It would be a long time until they saw each other again.
Nearly six months after Ren left, we received a letter from Yeying's natal village. I had just turned twenty-one, and Yeying was just a month shy of twenty.
Oogway read the letter for her…and she cursed loudly in a way that shocked even our master.
Her father was coming to visit. They had not spoken since she had arrived at the Jade Palace, and heaven only knew what kind of mood he'd be in, what kind of man he was, and how he'd treat his daughter. The news from the last year notwithstanding, that he was proud of her, wasn't enough to exonerate him in my eyes. He had almost condemned his daughter to a life of domestic servitude, crippled feet, and the threat of abuse and an early death from any number of things. I could not forgive him for this, ever.
He arrived three weeks later, followed by a half dozen attendants. He was a chancellor, apparently, a fourth-level scholar of the Imperial rank. So yes, he was a rather important person. No wonder Miao Li's family wanted her to marry him; it was an auspicious match for any woman.
But as we stood at the top of the thousand steps, just outside the main gates, the five of us did our best to comfort Yeying. She was nervous, and rightly so. We were nervous for her. However her father would behave, we would back her up, and banish him if we had to.
Below, we saw the flags and banners announcing his arrival. Before long, the group of seven came closer…
And there he was, Chancellor Miao. Like his daughter and his wife, he was cream-colored from head to toe, with face and paws a deep brown. His face was more angular, with an aquiline nose, and almond-shaped eyes, his whiskers forming a long mustache that fell down his face. He was richly dressed in a sunny yellow robe, emblazoned with embroidered tigers—a symbol of his rank.
The male cat saw his daughter and stopped, a look of shock and awe on his face. Yeying stared back at him, bracing herself for…something. I think she expected him to yell at her, to say how disappointed he was that she was not yet married, or that her feet were unbound…
Instead, he walked straight up to her, hugging her tightly. "My little kitten, so grown up…" he smiled warmly at her, "And as beautiful as your mother…"
"Father?"
"Look at you…how could I have missed all of this? It seems only yesterday you were a kitten, and now you're a woman…one with an honored reputation that puts her brothers to shame. Can you imagine, a woman outdoing her own brothers? Unorthodox, but that doesn't mean I'm not proud." He smiled, and slowly, so did she. After she hugged him, he pulled away and looked around, "Now where is…ah, there he is!"
Then he moved over and hugged Shan, who was utterly confused, as were the rest of us. "Well! It appears my daughter inherited her mother's good taste, if I say so myself! What a man you are, I bet you've made your parents proud!"
"Um…" the snow leopard paused. "I'm not entirely sure that I have—they've been dead the past twenty years," he answered bluntly.
An awkward silence followed, but apparently Chancellor Miao wasn't deterred. "Ah, but you are still a strong warrior, carrying on your family's name, yes?"
"As the only living son, I suppose I am…"
"Splendid! A long line of capable warriors? Or scholars?"
"I can't exactly say…"
"Ah! Say no more, say no more! Song, what—"
Yeying cleared her throat, "Father, my name is Yeying now. And that is Master Xue Shan. I wrote about him in my letters to Mother…"
"Did you? This is the first time I recall…"
"He used to be named Zigsa."
The Chancellor paused, then slowly smiled as he digested this information. "Ah, yes, yes, I do recall him now…but, look at what becoming a master has done for him! Such a mature and proud individual…"
"Um," was all Shan could get out before the Chancellor continued on his exultation of this snow leopard he barely knew.
"Must be feared by all of his enemies…"
"…Actually…"
"…Scourge of the Huns!"
"Yeah, about that…"
"…and now my daughter's husband, and my first and only son-in-law!"
"WHAT?"
Our jaws dropped.
Well, this was news to us…
Especially to Shan and Yeying; Yeying's expression changed from one of shock to one of utter dismay. Unfortunately, Shan was not so good at reading expressions…or hiding them, if the one currently on his visage was any indication.
Chancellor Miao looked between his daughter and "son-in-law" with a quizzical expression. "What, what? Don't tell me you aren't married yet!"
"Um…" Yeying paused. "Actually…"
"No matter," he waved it off. "It gives your mother time to plan your wedding the way she always wanted to."
"But Father…"
"Now, Daughter," he said tenderly, taking her hands in his. "I know you've had expectations about your wedding day, but its enough that I allowed you to choose any man you desired, is it not?"
"Of course it is, and I'm eternally grateful for that, but…"
"So surely there is no trouble in allowing us to handle the rest of the arrangements, yes? Granted, the question of dowry is complicated by the fact the groom has no family, but we can work around that."
"Um, sir…" Shan started to say.
"Ah, there'll be no 'sirs' in this household!" he said, proudly smiling at the snow leopard. "From now on, you can call me 'Dad'!"
I saw Yeying slap her palm to her forehead. Both Li and Ochir were finding it very hard not to sputter out laughing. For my part, I wasn't amused so much as…well, I'm fairly certain my eyes turned to quite a vivid shade of green in that moment.
"That's…great, that's really great," Shan said. "But the thing is, I'm not…"
"Ready? That's fine, everyone gets cold feet!"
"No, it's not that, it's…"
"Not rich enough? Well…" he seemed to see Shan's lack of savings and income as a problem. "Perhaps…no, I promised my little kitten that she could marry whomever she desired, rich or poor, and if she wants you, who am I to say…"
"She doesn't want me, sir!" Shan suddenly snapped. "Yeying and I are not getting married!"
The Chancellor looked at him, scandalized. "W-what?! Why not?! Can't you see her, how beautiful she is?"
Shan chose his next words judiciously. "I…can safely say I've never seen anyone else like her."
Ochir was nearly dying with suppressed laughter, finding it harder to hold it in. Li was biting his lip so hard, I thought he was about to cram his fist into his mouth. The Chancellor shot them a dirty look, then continued to rail at Shan,
"Then what is wrong? She is intelligent, obedient…no one wants a foolish wife, right?"
"Well, of course not, but obedience isn't everything…"
"Bah, that's everything in a relationship! That's how it works, one is lord and master over the other, and the other half is subservient to…"
"If that were the case, and if your daughter and I were engaged, she would be the master…"
Now the poor cat was thoroughly confused. "Wait…you are not going to marry my daughter? You have no interest in her?"
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested, Chancellor Miao," Shan said. "But I know when I'm outclassed." At the time, I thought he meant Yeying outclassed him. I had no idea that I was the source of that implication.
"Nonsense!" Miao decried. "Where is the one who is staking a claim to her? I'm sure you stand head and shoulders over him!"
Even though I knew he couldn't physically look at me, I averted my eyes from Shan's face. Though the Chancellor's unintended insult did sting slightly, I had to keep my cool. Heaven knew someone would have to…
"FATHER!" Yeying said sharply. "I am not engaged to anyone, nor am I interested in anyone!"
Her father paused to think this over, and when he saw she was clearly not lying, he became incensed. "Not married! Not married?! Hell's teeth, child, I'd be happy with a boyfriend at this point!"
"Father, I don't have the time for that! I'm traveling everywhere, all across China with my friends; I have a career, and I like it!" she said, getting the chance to stand up to the man who would have turned her into a cripple if it meant making a good marriage for her. I admit that I felt no love for that cat for what he almost did to her, but as I later learned—and keep learning about people, into my old age—there was more to what that Chancellor was meaning when he wanted his little girl married off.
"You could take any pick of these men if you so chose!" he snapped, pointing at each of us. "It would make me feel much better if it were one of them, not having any other women around to protect you!"
"From what? Do you really think that any of them would actually do something like that? These are masters of kung fu, and they have far more honor than that!"
"Then why doesn't he act on that honor," he said, pointing an accusatory finger at Shan, "and marry you?!"
"Because he doesn't love me, and I don't love him!" she shouted. She was panting, like she had run a great distance, staring down her father. "That was our deal, wasn't it?"
Well, we were all thoroughly confused by this point. Even though Ochir and Li were nearly dying of laughter, and Shan was visibly debating whether or not to run and hide from a crazy potential in-law, I finally garnered the courage to speak up.
"Um, hate to break this up…but clarification would be nice."
"And you are?" the Chancellor drawled.
I drew myself up to my full height as I addressed him, "I am Master Shifu." Years later, I am still amazed how I managed to say that with such authority that the cat actually cowed in my presence. "And I am Master Yeying's comrade in arms, and close friend. As we all are…and we are puzzled by all of this marriage talk…"
The Chancellor turned to her, aghast, "You never told them?"
Yeying lowered her eyes, her cheeks reddening. "I…it didn't seem like such a big deal at the time. I mean…it didn't seem important…"
"Important until the deadline is just about up! You and I had a deal—you were to be married by your twentieth birthday, or nothing I do, or any power I had, could help you!"
"Father, I am a master of kung fu!" she snapped. "I can fight them off!"
"Fight who off?" Ochir asked, suddenly serious. "Someone coming after you, someone I gotta rough up?"
"Of course someone's after her!" her father scoffed, finishing off his rant. "The same one who's been after her since she was born! The same one who wanted her feet bound before marriage! The same one whose tail I've had to kiss the past twenty years to keep assuaged long enough to give her the chance to escape that fate…and she has done nothing about it!"
The courtyard was silent, the only sound the wind through the tree branches. Yeying's red-tinged face was now suddenly very pale. I had pieced it all together by now.
After Oogway had adopted her and refused to allow her feet to be bound, Yeying's father must have cut a deal with her and her suitor's family, saying that as long as she was still a student of kung fu, she would not be married. But as soon as she became a master—or reached her twentieth birthday, whichever came first—she had to get married either to someone else of her choosing, or marry the lout who wanted her to be little more than a crippled porcelain doll.
I could detest that father of hers all I wanted, but the fact remained that he had given her a chance to get out of it entirely…and she had never acted on it.
She had to be married by the time she was twenty years old…and that was in seven days.
"Why didn't you tell us?"
Yeying sighed, facedown on her bed and groaning. The five of us were all there in her room—Shan hiding in her closet in case her father came in and tried to convince (read: force) him into marriage with her—and the rest of us standing by her bed.
"Look," she sighed, sitting up, "If the dirty lout wants to make me his bride, he'll have to come here and take me away himself."
"Yeying, we're hoping to stop this from happening—not kill anyone!" I said.
"Wait, you mean we're not killing him?" Ochir asked, overprotective as always.
Li shook his head, "Look, something's got to happen. Either Yeying gets married to someone, or she gets taken away…"
"Over my dead body!" I snapped viciously. I was furious, "Whoever he is, he's not getting her!"
"Well, what do you want, Shifu?" she rolled her eyes. "To marry me?"
I wanted to scream, "Uh, yes. Yes. YES!"
But I faltered, my tongue refused to work.
Shan suddenly slammed the closet door open, an expression of 'eureka!' on his face. "That's it!"
"Huh?" we all asked.
He grabbed me and Yeying and sat us together on her bed, frantically pointing at me. "Marry him! Marry him!"
She and I shared a look, then she stared at him. "No offense to Shifu, but are you crazy?"
"Crazy like a fox!" the snow leopard said excitedly.
"That's my line, jackass," Li snorted with an arched brow.
"No, wait! Hear me out!" he said excitedly, nearly tripping over himself in his excitement; apparently he believed this to be an excellent idea. "Yeying, if you marry Shifu—you know, 'marry' him," he said, winking theatrically and making quote marks in the air with his fingers, "…in front of your father and a couple other witnesses, then you're off the hook, Daddy leaves to tell Not-Future-In-Law to take a hike, and he also leaves me alone for the rest of my life!"
"What about me?" I asked.
"Shifu, you're getting married to Yeying. Think about this for a second."
"Yeah, but…I can't give her children…"
"And vice versa," she pointed out, blushing a little bit.
"Who the hell cares?! That's the deal, isn't it? That your dad allowed you to marry whomever you wished in order to get out of this arranged marriage, did it say anywhere in your agreement that your groom had to be feline? Besides, it doesn't need to be a legally binding wedding—it just needs to look like one!"
She thought about it, then it dawned on her. And the rest of us. As much as I cringe to think it now, at that time, it was a great idea. Leave it to Xue Shan to find the loopholes…
It was the perfect idea…except for convincing Daddy Dearest we were actually getting married.
Part of me had always fantasized about spending the rest of my life with her; while I should have been excited, the idea of actually going through a ceremony that could be binding and permanent with someone who probably didn't love me as I loved her was terrifying in the very least.
Ochir said after a long silence, "I think you have officially lost your damn mind."
"Wait," Po paused the story. "Shifu was married? To Yeying?"
"Hold on, maybe it says..." Mantis said as he furiously scanned the rest of the scroll, which made Viper call out, "Hey, no reading ahead!"
"Come on, I just wanna see what happens!"
"Then we read the scroll through, the whole thing!" she argued. Crane and Monkey shared a look and rolled their eyes.
"Come on, lets focus," Monkey said. "It said in the scroll that the marriage—if it happened—wasn't legally binding. That means that if there was a ceremony…"
"It was a ruse," Crane finished.
"Dude," Po said. "What a cop out."
Tigress said nothing—during the recital, she had lost her voice. Her expressions said enough though, as Po kept pouring her more and more Laryngitis Cure Soup, which in all honesty, was chilled peach soup…with noodles. The poor feline looked ready to gag.
Po poured more for her; she pushed the bowl away, turning away her head.
"Oh come on, its not that bad—it soothes your throat, right? Come on, Tigress, just one more bowl…"
She shook her head vehemently, closing her eyes and pursing her lips tightly like a child not wanting to eat their vegetables. If it wasn't so annoying to try and get her to take her medicine, Po would have thought the voiceless cat looked positively adorable in her refusal.
One thing that made it easier—when she was sick, she let her guard down too easily.
Po waited until she had turned away to pull out a bottle of medicinal throat syrup, and poured some into her tea.
Unfortunately for him, she caught him. He looked up at her furious expression, gave a sheepish grin and tried to cover his tail: "Um…it's not more soup, at least. And it's good for you—"
She unsheathed her claws.
"Gah! Okay, okay, be cool, I didn't mean anything by it!" Po begged for mercy.
Mantis finally shouted at them, "Hey, Lovebirds! You mind stalling the googly-eyed flirting so we can continue?"
Po glared at the insect for the insinuation, "We're not flirting!"
Tigress opened her mouth to yell "and we're not lovebirds!" but all that came out was a gargled mew. He smirked in triumph.
Instead, she then shot the insect a dirty look. Mantis inwardly gulped. If he didn't find a good place to hide after this was over, he was in for it.
Poor Tigress. I love Chilled Peach soup and Gazpacho as much as the next person, but I gotta draw the line somewhere. Have also had laryngitis on numerous occasions, and losing your voice is not fun. Am I being cruel to her by giving her such a bad illness? Probably. But I look at it as karma for how she treated Po in the movie. Zing!
Read and review please! And once again, whether you celebrate Hannukah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Eid-al-Fadr, Festivus, Yule, or some mismatch of the aforementioned, whatever holiday you celebrate, have a great one!
- Luna