A/N: So here is the next chapter, its about 11:15pm, and i highly doubt anyone's going to review for a while, but any reviews at all would be loved! I'm really enjoying writting this story, since it's kinda like four different stories in one. This is a sad chapter--sorry! I just thought you'd all want to know a bit of Bella's past and more about her old friend Sophie. I randomly thought of the name cause i like that name, so, yea. XD Anyways, review?
now for shout outs:
Lixxy--loves you lots. thanks for always reviewing and reading. and thanks for giving me a hug when i really need it. loves you!
JoJo--your awesome. thanks for reviewing, and you better remember your planner on Monday so we dont have to try and remember which International Day it is. lol. loves you.
????--i still miss you, and no, im not going to say your name. i dont even think your reading this story anymore, but im going to keep writting. remember i love you, and if you ever need me ill be here. i honestly think you just need to let it go though, its over with and everythings better now. loves you.
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okay, sorry. well, read and review please? i love hearing feedback, and your ideas too.
one really great idea i got was for Bella to tell her story to Edward in poems from 'narn'
i think its a great idea, and i might do it, im not really sure yet. ...but thank you!
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I walked up to the hospital with a devious smile, this was going to get me in huge trouble, but Bella deserved something big to happen to her—something exciting. I smiled again as I entered the elevator to her floor, I was getting giddy with excitement myself. My teen years hadn't been to fun and reckless as other people, better late then never I guess. The numbers lit up so slowly it seemed today. I bit my lip, the doors slowly opening I ran out, accidently running into one of the nurses. She rolled her eyes and sighed, they knew me pretty well around here now. I jogged half way to her door, slowing to act casual as I walked up, knocking lightly. I bit my lip and smiled as she said to come in. I opened the door as she threw something under her bed; I paused at the door, my eye brow raised. She had an anxious look on her face, like she didn't want me to ask. I let it go, I'd find out later.
"Hey, ya ready to go Bella?" I asked, smiling at her. It seemed like forever since I had last seen her perfect face—her amazing hazel eyes. I had learned that her eyes changed color. They were sometimes hazel, green, grey, or even a bit red at times. It was spooky at first, but now I just found it amazing and completely interesting. She smiled, crawling off her bed and slipping on her skater shoes. She had a pair of new jeans on I noticed, they were dark and faded with a black shirt on that said 'Simple Plan' across the front. Her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, a few strands of hair in her face. My mouth would have fallen gaping if I hadn't learned to control that over the past month. I shook my head and laughed as she walked towards me, her spunky full of life walk.
"What? Should I change? What is it?" she said, stopping right next to me and glancing over herself. I shook my head and kept laughing, "No, your just too cute, that's all," she looked up at me, smiled, and then shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You're a loser," she laughed, skipping out of the room towards the elevator.
We stood in the elevator and talked about school, I explained how boring it was, but left out how I was constantly thinking about her today—that was my own personal secret. She was always so happy, even in her conditions. It was inspiring really, from everything she's been through and here she is, smiling and laughing with a little sparkle in her eyes. When the elevator beeped for the last time and the door opened, I took a chance and grabbed her hand as we walked out. Her cheeks lit up, and I smiled down at her, though she didn't look at me. She instantly turned in the direction of the cafeteria, but I pulled her back. She shot me a confused look as a few nurses walked by, eying us suspiciously—or was I just a little nervous for this?
"What's going on Edward, the cafeteria is this way," she trailed off, her eye brow raised. I smiled deviously at her, and when no one was around I slowly pulled her towards the front door. She took a few steps, and then stopped, shaking her head. "Oh god no, Edward, I'd get in so much trouble," she paused, muffling a small laugh as I slowly pulled her hand, giving her the most irresistible smile I could—it was working. "You're going to get in so much trouble, Edward, you," I shook my head and pulled her, she fell forward, straight into me. I didn't mean for that to happen, since I could have kissed her with ease if I wasn't raised better. I smiled, inches from her face. Her eyes seemed to go blank, her cheeks lighting up. "Edward no," she pleaded helplessly. I had it under control, I could tell.
"Oh come on Bella, you know you miss the world. Just dinner, we'll go to Taco Bell," I laughed lightly, somehow it wasn't tense at all this close to her. Her hands on my chest, my hand holding one of hers, the other holding her elbow. She glanced down, putting some distance between us. She sighed, bit her lip, and nodded. I think for once I dazzled her, I would remember that. I laughed now, pulling her towards the door. Just as we slipped out onto the street I glanced back and the elevator opened to her doctor, that was close.
"So, are we seriously going to Taco Bell?" she asked as we walked down the street. It was still light out, but the sun was going to set soon. I shrugged, still holding her hand as we walked along New York's clustered streets. It was like a movie. "Well, it's up to you. Unless you want to go to a big fancy restaurant, I really don't care," I said, shooting her a smile. She blushed and looked down. "I miss Taco Bell," she said, glancing around.
I looked at her, her voice sounded off. She was looking around with a smile on her face, taking everything in as if she was completely new to the world. It was heart breaking, yet amazing, to see it. She looked so thankful just to breathe the fresh, polluted air of New York. I couldn't help but smile at her. After a few minutes of silence, she looked at me and laughed.
"What is it this time?" she asked. I shook my head and winked at her. "Off to Taco Bella!" I laughed and pulled her faster ahead. She laughed. "Taco Bella?" I nodded, smiling.
"So, are you ever going to tell me about this Sophie girl?" I asked after a while. Bella's smile faded fast, and she looked down at her food, poking at it aimlessly as if to keep her mind busy. I felt bad asking, but I was dying to know—and who knows, maybe it would help to talk about it. She laughed a little, and shook her head, looking down at her lap. I tilted my head to the side, my eyes serious but comforting. I sipped my soda patiently. She drew in a jagged breathe, and glanced out the window.
"She was one of my best friends, before the hospital. It's been like, three years, since her," she paused, looking down again. "Since her death," I nodded, her eyes met mine for an instant, and she seemed to see my concern and curiosity.
"I met her in fifth grade. We were best friends right away. I kind of, centered my life around her. Things got hard for both of us and it seemed like we only had each other," she paused to shake her head and sip her soda. "And then when we got to seventh grade, I just, cracked. We got in a huge fight and I told her I was sick of centering my life around her, and I said things that I knew would hurt her. I pretty much crushed her," she looked at me now, her eyes looked so dead and I could see that she regretted it even now.
"She didn't say much to me afterwards, she just stood there and took it. It was like every word that I said was like a knife digging into her neck. I think I kind of killed her, that day," I shook my head, and was about to talk, but she kept going. "I realized after that that I had over reacted, and didn't mean most of what I said. But she, she was too hurt. I had made a mistake, and it, it was hard on her to let it go. I didn't blame her, I would have been crushed with all the things I said," she paused, another sip of her soda. I lightly touched her hand, and she smiled, looking down again.
"What did you say? I mean, I'm sure it wasn't that bad," I reasoned with her. She shook her head. "I basically told her I was sick of all her drama, and that I hated how I centered my life around her. She read between the lines too much though, and she got a lot more out of it then I meant. I guess I should have guessed she'd do that. She was such a deep person. I told her how I missed my other friends, and I was tired of lying about everything," she drew in a breathe, and I had a feeling things got hard here. I almost stopped her and told her that I'd wait till another time to hear it, but she said it was fine.
"She thought she had ruined me anyways, and when I cracked that day. I Guess I just confirmed a lot of what she was thinking, which made it hard for her to believe me when I tried to tell her I didn't mean it, later. I had my other best friend around then, and we grew apart. She always said she'd follow behind me, and that my best friend would always walk next to me. She always said, 'If you ever need me, just turn around, I promise to be here, no matter what' but then," she cut off. She stared blankly at the table.
"Things just got worse, and she stopped talking to me when she was upset. It worried me, because she had always told me I was the only person she could talk to, and how it really helped her. I knew she wasn't okay. I just, I got sick of the drama. The constant drama of being her friend…It was sad, cause she always said she felt like she was competing with my other best friend for me. Always said that I was her best friend, even if she wasn't mine. I didn't pay much attention to her, I was just so sick of it all," she looked up at me.
"I didn't think she'd ever do it, ever. I never took her seriously, and I never really saw how upset she was I guess. I didn't want to see, because it was so heart crushing. I always felt guilty, and I grew so sick of worrying about her. Sick of everything she said to me. I grew sick of her. And eventually, she stopped following me, just like I knew she would. I had my only best friend for an entire summer, and life seemed so much better without her. Till one night I got in a huge fight with my parents, and I left. I just left," Bella cut off again, and this time she grabbed my hand, her eyes were pleading, but I was to stunned to speak.
"I went to my best friend's house, the same night. They always say that when someone special to you dies, you feel like something in life is missing, before you actually know. I didn't feel anything. I just remember laughing with my best friend and feeling so much better than I had been before. I spent the night at her house, not even thinking about Sophie. I hadn't worried about Sophie all summer, for months actually. She was a part of the past. I didn't know, or care, about how her life was going" she stopped again. I felt guilty now, for asking her. She was in tears now, and strangers were giving us looks. The sun was setting outside, and she had a solid grasp on my hand. I opened my mouth to tell her it was okay, that she didn't have to talk about it anymore, but I was a little late.
"I went to school the next day, Monday. She wasn't there. Somehow I noticed her absence, and in the back of my mind I wondered. But Sophie was known to miss school, she was always so stressed she got sic a lot. I didn't even consider, her, I didn't think about it," she sighed, wiping away tears now, calming down a little, looking me in the eyes now. "I was called down to the office during lunch, and was sent to the counselor's office. My parents, her parents, and two police men were there. I knew once I saw her parents, that something horrible had happened. The first thought was that she was kidnapped, but never death. They sat me down and told me, and I didn't understand at first. I couldn't imagine the world without her; I couldn't imagine my world without her. I hadn't talked to her in over a month, let alone thought about her, so I didn't get why it was so upsetting that I ran out of the school and ran to her house. I pretty much broke in and ran in her room, and reality hit me when I saw the blood stains on the floor. I still don't know why its so upsetting," she trailed off in thought.
"She was your best friend Bella, anyone would be upset," I whispered, squeezing her hand. "I just feel, like I could have done something. She pushed me away, and I tried to keep her around, but if I had just said the right things, she might still be here," she shook her head, sipping her soda. A small smile hit her face. "We had so many inside jokes too, so many good times. I can't believe we drifted apart, and then, I didn't even see her dying inside. I didn't even realize how badly she needed me in her life, I didn't," she cut off.
"I got a bunch of her things afterwards, and most of it was covered with stuff about me, how she missed me," I titled my head to the side again, Bella's eyes fell dead again, water returning. "She needed me, and I wasn't there. I should have been there, to tell her," she shook her head. "She always felt like no one cared, and she always said she knew I cared. But I wasn't there to remind her, I turned around, and she wasn't there," she said through silent tears. I shook my head, and stood up. I slid onto the seat next to her and wrapped my arms around her as she cried silently.
"Bella, you can't possibly blame yourself. She did it because of her own choices. People grow apart, and it just happens that you guys grew apart too. You can't take the blame for something that had nothing to do with you, you said her life wasn't all that great, well, you can't help that. Don't feel guilty for something you can't control Bella, it's completely unhealthy," I was just spitting out anything that I thought would help. I just wanted her to stop crying. Bella shouldn't feel guilty for something Sophie did—hell, Sophie was probably crazy.
"She was my best friend, and I was all she had," she whispered, her tears slowing—though my words did nothing to help. "It's okay Bella, it was three years ago," I whispered back. At least Taco Bell was pretty much empty, otherwise we would have some seriously messed up looks from other people. She hugged me, and sat silently for a few moments. "Thank you, though," she whispered. I smiled, breathing in a breath of relief. "You're my best friend Bella," I whispered back. "I'm always here for you, no matter what," I whispered. She nodded, wiping away the dried tears. Again, guilt beat at me for making her cry over my stupid nosiness. I smiled down at her, pecked her on the top of the head. Her hair smelled amazing.
"How about I take you home, you need your sleep," I said, hugging her again before I stood up with our tray of half eaten food. She nodded, wiping her cheeks again. "I probably look a wreck now," she muttered with a sigh, her eyes slowly coming back to life. I dumped the tray and smiled weakly at her, the guilt was over powering me now. "Bella, you look beautiful," my voice was overly serous and sincere. She looked at me now, a little shocked by my voice. I smiled again, taking her hand as we walked outside. We walked home in the dark; she was a little closer to me now. I hoped she wasn't mad about me asking about Sophie, I just wanted to know more about her. She smiled at me when we walked into the front door of the hospital, no one was around so we darted to the elevator, laughing. "I had a really fun time, Edward. And you're right, I missed the world—and Taco Bella," she laughed, her eyes seemed to fill with the usual sparkle and joy they had as we watched the numbers light up. I smiled at her, nodding.
"Sorry about that though, I was just curious. I didn't realize it was that, complicated," I said slowly, not completely regained for the hysterics. "It's fine, it's nice to talk sometimes, especially to you," she said as the doors opened. She grabbed my hand and pulled me out; I seemed to be the only one dazed now. She was back to her usual happy self. It made me smile silently. I walked her back to her room, and she spun around. "So I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked, her eyes lightened up with hope. I nodded.
"Well but of course, Bella, love," I smiled at her and hugged her before heading back towards the elevator. So maybe Sophie had ruined Bella, but it was my job to build her up again. But I don't thin it was my job to develop a crush on her…oh well, I had both covered.