A/N: Z?
Because Hermonthis requested it, and I felt like obliging. In a roundabout way.
Stupid chapter is stupid. And no, I can't write PWP. God damn it, I need a long-winded reason. Even if it's a crack reason. Don't ask me why. One of these days I hope to be an awesome writer who can just sit down and say, "I'm gonna write this" and then sit down and do it.
Part One of maybe three? A mini arc! Oh my!
OoOoOo
Aerrow wriggled under his Skimmer, covered in grease as he tried to figure out what was wrong with it this time. True, she was still flying like a dream, but she made this weird buzzy sound whenever he cut the power, and anything out of the ordinary with his Skimmer made him worried. He was fussy that way- the whole Condor could be a mess and he wouldn't blink twice, but if his Skimmer made a funny sound he just couldn't sleep.
There was a soft pop nearby, announcing the arrival of Lark. "Need help?" she offered.
He decided he didn't want to know how long she had been there, and assumed she had just popped in from somewhere else instead of being invisible. It creeped him out to no end, but there really wasn't much he could do about it. "Ah, yeah, sure. Can you pass me the-?"
Pop. Pop.
She left before he could finish, reappearing at his right side with the wrench in hand. "Thanks." He took it and began to work again.
Pop. Pop.
She appeared, crouching next to him, but on his left now instead of his right. "So whatcha doin'?"
"Killing time," he grunted in response, tearing open the belly of the bird.
Pop. Pop.
He wondered where she was for a moment before realizing she was floating above the Skimmer now. Sighing, he put the wrench down and quirked one eyebrow up at her. "You're bored, aren't you."
"Incredibly so."
"Now I get why Stork kicked you out of the kitchen this morning."
"What? No one put a label on those sand cakes saying Property Of Stork."
"Well, you didn't need to eat them all."
"Stork also doesn't need to eat them. They're sweets. They're eaten for enjoyment."
"Touche." Aerrow waved the wrench at her. "Still, you're just in a mood for trouble today, aren't you? I can tell. Try to be serious, Lark, eating all those cakes was just plain mean."
"Serious?" She blinked. "I can be serious. Watch."
Poof!
Coughing in the smoke that lingered behind her, Aerrow got out from under the Skimmer to pound at his chest and clear his stinging eyes. When the smoke cleared Lark was there again, only in thick, black sunglasses and a sharp suit-and-tie ensemble. She put on a stoic face, straightening her tie before crossing her arms. "Serious Lark reporting for duty, Captain."
Aerrow blinked in shock once or twice before he started laughing.
"I can see my Serious is not contagious," she noted. "Do I not look Serious enough, Captain? Shall I also be Professional and add a Storm Hawks logo somewhere on here?"
Aerrow could barely get the words out. "What the hell are you wearing!"
"A suit. 'Cause suits are Serious."
The sky knight was spared having to find some sort of reply to that, because the automatic doors swung open, revealing Piper with an armful of Skimmer schematics. "I hope these'll help, Aerrow, I-"
She paused in the doorway, staring at Lark. "What the hell are you wearing?"
"A suit," Lark repeated, pulling at the lapels in a model's pose. A male model's pose. "'Cause suits are-"
"-Serious," Aerrow finished.
"Seriously weird," Piper said.
"Seriously Serious."
"Can we stop saying Serious?" Aerrow asked.
Lark ignored him. "You know, if you keep saying Serious enough it starts to sound weird. It's even spelled weird. Serious. Serious. S-E-R-I-"
Piper rolled up one of the schematics, whacking it over Lark's head. "You're bored," she accused the girl.
Lark didn't change her expression, just rolled her shoulders and looked away, as though the open window held something fascinating only she could see. "Seriously bored."
Piper, seeing that she was getting no reaction, huffed and dumped the schematics onto the floor before joining them, spreading them open to try and see if she couldn't help Aerrow with his Skimmer problem. "Then go do something."
Pop. Pop.
Lark was on her belly next to Piper, chin in her hands as she examined the schematics as well. "I'd rather stay here," she said, pulling off her sunglasses and sliding them onto Piper's face. She imitated Finn's chicka-cha movement with one hand, signaling her approval of Piper wearing the Serious glasses. "Nice. You should keep them."
Aerrow sat down opposite them. "Where'd they come from, anyway?"
"I made them."
He pondered this. "Could you make a new Skimmer?"
"Nope. I can't make anything bigger than myself, or anything organic unless it's directly related to me, like making my hair red or something- trust me, I've tried."
Piper was surprised by this. "You can change your appearance that much?" she asked, taking off the glasses to look at Lark.
"Of course I can." Lark smirked. "I can even make myself a man. Not a very tall man, but-"
"I wanna see!" Piper and Aerrow chorused, eyes wide and shocked.
Lark grinned.
Poof!
And then she was he. Sort of. Piper was a little disappointed, truth be told, to only find a very slender boy in front of her. The suit helped, since the build of it made his shoulders a little broader, but not much. Reading her thoughts, Lark sent, Hey, I'm a boy where it counts.
Ew. I didn't need to know that.
"I only have so much mass to work with here," Lark defended out loud, mouth twisting in a frown. "I can't create muscle and bone out of nothing, you know."
"It's OK if you're a shrimpy boy, Lark," Piper teased, nudging the newly-formed boy with her toe.
"Yeah, we won't judge you." Aerrow paused. "...Out loud."
They started giggling. Or, Piper giggled. If there was a manlier word for giggling I'm sure that's what Aerrow was doing.
OoOoOo
Every now and then Lark liked to leave the Condor with little or no notice. Piper didn't mind; her connection with Lark meant she knew where her poltergeist was at all times, if she just spent a moment of her time to concentrate. But when she tried to pry where Lark was this time, she was met with a solid blank wall and something that might just have been prerecorded, it felt that fake- a sense of "sorry, not here right now, please leave a message!"
What are you up to? She sent, thinking Lark wouldn't reply.
But reply Lark did. Serious business, she sent back, but would say no more.
OoOoOo
Piper forgot about the gender-bending incident, which was, of course, a mistake. She found this out the hard way upon hearing an all-too-familiar poof! In the corner of the training room on board the Condor only to find a young man standing there in a flashy white suit and matching fedora, reclining casually against the wall.
Piper froze.
"Hi," Man-Lark said with a shy smile.
No matter how hard she stared, Lark didn't grow any shorter, or any less male. This was different from before, when he had just made a few cosmetic changes. This was for all intents and purposes a brand new person, one who only shared the vaguest resembalence to Lark. He was much taller, more built, more obviously a young man and not a shrimpy boy. "You didn't," Piper said, unconsciously taking a step forward, rubbing at her eyes, wondering if she was hallucinating this. She knew- of course she knew, she couldn't look at Lark without feeling the connection they shared- that this was of course real, but still. Some part of her really hoped it wasn't. "You did not."
"I did," Lark said, smile growing wider and more assured now that s/he had gotten the proper reaction out of the navigator. S/He stepped forward, shrugging as s/he spoke. "What can I say? You insulted my shapeshifting abilities when you said I was a shrimpy guy."
S/he had reached Piper now. Piper took a step back, waving her hand in front of Lark's face. Lark caught it, frowning and saying, "I'm a dude, not blind. So! What do you think?" Letting her go, Lark did a quick spin for Piper to see the poltergeist from every angle. "Am I not the most fantastically wonderful male specimen you've ever clapped eyes on?"
Piper covered her face with her hands, groaning out loud. "Lark. Please change back."
"Why?"
"You're freaking me out, that's why!"
Lark was curious now, leaning closer to Piper and touching her face. "But aren't you bisexual?" he asked, grinning widely when Piper shrank away from her touch, a purple electricity storm igniting all over her body. "...Oh my. That's exactly the problem, isn't it?"
Piper shook her head but still wouldn't take her hands away from her eyes. I fell for you when you had boobs.
Well, I'm still me, aren't I? Am I so repulsive now because I look like this? Feeling a little sadistic, and actually insulted now at Piper's reaction, he forced her to look at him, exerting his willpower over her brain.
The reaction was nothing like Lark expected. Piper uncovered her eyes only to forcibly shove Lark backwards with both hands, so sharp and so sudden it hurt. "Don't try to guilt trip me!" she snapped at him, straightening up to her full unimpressive height to glare him in his livid purple eyes. "This bothers me, OK? And I don't need a reason for it to bother me, it just does. So knock it off."
Feeling the swell of all the other things she wanted to shout rise deep in her chest, Piper could only take one long, angry breath and then whirl around, stomping away before she did anything else she might regret.