Harry was very upset. The parchment that he had drawn contained the deadly words CHO CHANG, which were written in almost unreadable handwriting. However, the words pierced Harry's spleen. He was going to have to get a gift for Cho! He could feel his doom creeping upon him. Why, oh why, couldn't he have gotten Malfoy?
The worst part of it all was that he was actually going to have to have a conversation with his whiny ex-girlfriend. Harry knew as well as anybody that Cho still liked him, but Harry, on the other hand, despised her very existence.
He was sitting in the Great Hall, staring off into space and drooling slightly. Suddenly he saw Cho coming up to him. He pretended not to notice her, and tried to increase the amount of drool dripping down his chin to make her go away.
"Hey Harry!" she giggled. Her voice was annoyingly high-pitched, and Harry thought that his ears would bleed. "Whatchya doing?" Oh no. Not this again. He quickly tried to think of something that he could be doing.
"Er...reading the newspaper. Could you please not disturb me?" It was a lame excuse, but it was all that he could think of at the moment.
Go away, dear god, go away, he thought to himself.
"But Harry, you're not doing anything!"
Harry was surprised that she had noticed. He had thought that she wasn't as smart as that. Damn it.
"Er, it's an invisible newspaper." he quickly invented. Why couldn't she just leave? He wanted to punch something right now. Preferably Cho.
"Wow Harry you're so cool!" she squealed. Harry had to agree, but he still wanted her gone.
"Could you leave me alone now?"
"No way! I know you love me."
What?! This girl was crazy. Harry sighed to himself. He was going to have to tell it like it is.
"Cho, we gave it a try. And it bombed. Now leave me alone." Harry decided that since she obviously wasn't going to leave, he might as well do it himself. He stood up, and, remembering his invisible newspaper, folded it up. He hoped that it would fool her.
As he was leaving, he remembered his job as her Secret Santa.
"Er-Cho, are there any extremely cheap things you like?" He really did not want to buy her anything expensive- and by expensive he meant anything worth more than a knut.
For some strange reason, Cho looked overjoyed at the thought that Harry wanted to get her something cheap.
"OH HARRY!" she screamed and hugged him. Harry was very alarmed and quite scared at this reaction, and started to protest by gurgling. Apparently Cho thought that his gurgling was a ballad of love, for she screamed "I KNEW YOU WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME!"
Oh. My. God. Thought Harry.
"No, no, no, NO! I just, er...want to know out of curiosity." he wildly invented. "I'm asking everybody." To try and prove his point, he looked around the hall for an innocent victim. "Hey, Terry Boot, what cheap things do you like?" he was panicking. And he was scared for his life.
Harry's victim turned around to face him, and looked surprised by the fact that someone knew that Terry was alive. "Well, now that you asked Harry, I would like a sock, dream machine, cow udder, box, banana, metal box, underwater castle..." Harry sighed. This boy, he decided, was an idiot.
As if things couldn't get any worse, Harry felt himself being pulled towards Cho, and the next thing he knew, his lips were touching hers. It felt like he was kissing a goat, and Harry remembered that experience all too well. He pushed away from her and looked her in the eye. This girl needed therapy.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He screamed, trying to erase the taste from his mouth. He needed water. Stat.
Harry was dismayed as Cho grabbed his hand. He decided that he would have to use force on this girl.
After much struggle Harry finally managed to break free.
"YOU FREAK!" He screamed at Cho. He had tried to be as polite as he could, but this girl just would not take a hint. He ran for the door.
As Harry ran as far away from Cho as humanly possible, he wondered what in the world he was going to get that girl. If only Cedric been alive, Cho would never have become so obsessed with Harry.
"Stupid Cedric and his stupid death." Harry muttered to himself.
Then the idea hit him. Then he realized it was actually a sack of potatoes that some dude had thrown at him. But then the idea hit him.
It was going to take some work, but it was worth it. It would free him for life. Or so he hoped.