LOVE MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE BORING

Cosmo paced the floor at Amy's house. She was waiting for Tails to pick her up. He'd promised something special today.

"Sit down, Cosmo!" Amy said. "You're going to wear a hole in the rug!"

"I can't help it, Amy!" Cosmo cried. "Tails should have been here already! What if he had an accident or something?"

There was a knock on the door. Cosmo rushed past Amy to answer it.

"Tails!" she cried, hugging him. "Where have you been? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" Tails said. "Ready for our date, Cosmo?"

"Yes, sir!" Cosmo said. "I sure am! Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," Tails said. "'Bye, Amy!"

"Have fun you two!" Amy said.

Tails helped Cosmo into his new car. He'd designed it because Cosmo sometimes got dizzy in the X-Tornado. Cosmo laid her head against his chest fur as he drove.

Cosmo had expected Tails to take her to a park, or a movie, or a restaurant. What she didn't expect was a…hardware store?

"I need to pick up some parts for my new inventions," Tails said, taking her hand and leading her inside.

The store seemed huge. They passed by paint, carpets, and kitchen faucets. Tails was like a normal kid in a candy factory. He stopped at security cameras. "This isn't as powerful as I like," he told her eagerly, "but if I increase the wattage here, and reverse this polarity, then I can boost the radius exponentially!"

Cosmo nodded her head, even though she didn't have a clue what he was saying. She struggled not to moan as he checked out another camera, then another. "This one has better range," he said, showing her one, "but this has better image definition." He showed her another. They all looked the same to her.

"What do you think?" Tails asked. Cosmo realized she hadn't been paying attention, and had no idea what he was asking her.

"Um…whatever you think is best," she said, smiling. "It's your invention, after all."

"Your opinion matters to me," Tails said. "Do you like this one or this one?"

Cosmo still couldn't see the difference. One said 180 something, while the other said 240. She assumed 240 was better than 180, and said, "Um…that one?"

"You don't mind the difference in the exponentials?" he asked her.

"Uh…yes?" she said. "Uh…which one's…better for the environment?" That seemed like a safe bet.

"Well, it depends," Tails said. "See, this one is better short term, but this one will end up less damaging in the long run. See, this one has to be very carefully disposed of because it has mercury."

"It has weeds in it?" Cosmo asked, really confused now. The only mercury she was familiar with were weeds of the spurge and goosefoot families.

"No, honey," Tails said, grinning. "Not that mercury!"

Cosmo struggled to think of another mercury. "Do you mean the planet?" she asked at last. His grin grew bigger. "You can't mean the man with the winged helmet, can you?"

Tails chuckled. "My girl is so funny!" he said, giving her a hug. "I mean the element, number eighty, mass 200.59."

"Duh?" Cosmo said brightly. "I mean…that's great, Tails!"

"Okay, so do you still want this one, or should I go with the other?" he asked her.

"Uh…long term is more better?" Cosmo asked, her brain hurting now.

"Okay," Tails said. "My Cosmo is so smart!" He walked off with the one she'd last indicated, no doubt to look at something equally dull and confusing.

"Your Cosmo is feeling like a blooming idiot!" she muttered as she followed him. Still, as she watched his eyes light up as he examined wires and tubes and cables and things she couldn't even guess at the use for, she realized he was happy. And that was all that mattered.

After another twenty minutes that seemed like twenty hours, Tails finally went to the checkout stand. Cosmo sighed with relief. She was getting a headache. She shut her eyes while standing in line, and concentrated. An invisible spore, similar in composition to aspirin, was emitted by her flowers. The spores revolved around her head, and she soon felt much better. She couldn't explain how she did it, or how it helped get rid of headaches, but it worked. How and why were Tails' department.

It was a long line, and Tails looked through a magazine on drywall while waiting. It looked terribly boring. Cosmo noticed a book on making Japanese gardens. This seemed much more interesting. She leafed through it. This seemed complicated.

"Um, Tails?" she said. "Do you think you could build something like this is your yard?"

"Oh, sure," Tails assured her. "Water pump and a few other pieces. Would you like me to pick them up now?"

"No, no!" Cosmo cried. "I mean--that's not necessary today, honey!"

"Nonsense!" Tails cried, taking her arm and heading back into the aisles. "Nothing is too good for the love of my life!"

"Me and my big mouth!" Cosmo moaned as Tails started looking over pumps. Her sisters had taken care of the pumps on their ship. Cosmo had spent most of her time daydreaming. Maybe she should have paid more attention to what they were doing, but she just couldn't find any interest in that sort of thing.

"This one is too weak," Tails said, holding one up to her face, "but this one wastes water." He held up the other one. "What do you think?"

"Uh…wasting water is bad?" Cosmo asked.

"You have such a way with words," Tails said.

Finally, they were back in line. It didn't seem as if it had moved in the last half hour or so. Cosmo didn't dare look at anything now. She didn't want him dragging her back into something else she didn't understand. At last, the cashier got to them. She ran his purchases under the scanner. The last item wouldn't scan. She tried again and again. Then she got on the P.A. system. "Price check on water pump serial number 01482390. Price check on water pump."

The people behind them in line started grumbling. "Tails," Cosmo whispered, "we don't need to get this today. We can come back another time." Then she thought about that. About having to walk through those aisles that smelled like turpentine and machine oil again. About being asked her opinion on several items that seemed interchangeable to her. "Never mind," she said.

At last, they were back in the car. Cosmo collapsed with relief. "Don't forget your seat belt," Tails said, locking his in place. Cosmo blushed. She felt dumber now than when she'd gone in there.

"So, where to now, honey?" Cosmo asked, laying her head against his chest fur again.

"I thought we'd take in a movie," Tails said.

"Great!" Cosmo cried, smiling. "What are we seeing?"

"A documentary on Sir Isaac Newton!" Tails said, his eyes shining.

"Wh-what?" Cosmo said.

"Oh, it's fascinating," Tails said. "You'll like this. See, gravity was discovered on Earth because one day, Isaac Newton was sitting under an apple tree, and an apple fell of and hit him on the head, and because of that, he developed the laws of gravity! Isn't that cool?"

"Oh yes," Cosmo said, "the…coolest." She sighed.

Two hours later, they were eating at a fast food place. Tails was broke after buying parts and the movie tickets, and Cosmo had had to pay for their meals. She didn't mind. It was her hope that the smell of French fries and hamburgers and mustard and ketchup would help get the smell of oil and paint out of her nostrils. The movie was already beginning to fade. Maybe if it had featured actors performing a movie about Newton, she would have been more interested, but it mostly showed old pictures and had fat guys with beards talking.

"Cosmo?" Tails asked her suddenly. "Am I boring?"

"What?" Cosmo asked, so surprised with the question that she poked herself in the eye with a French fry. "Oh no, not at all!" The fact that she had been with him, watching him enjoy himself, was enough for her.

"Are you okay?" he asked. He rubbed her eye gently with a napkin, then kissed it. "Better?"

"Absolutely!" she said. "But…the other one feels left out."

"Well, we can't let that happen, now can we?" Tails asked, kissing her other eye.

He drove home slowly. They talked about their future together. It was a fun ending to a most unusual day. He walked her to Amy's front door. Luckily, Amy had the sense to stay inside and not come out and greet them.

"I had a wonderful time today," Cosmo said. And it was the truth. They kissed, and Tails promised he'd see her again in the morning.

"So," Amy said once Cosmo came inside and Tails drove away. "How was your day?"

"Most…enlightening," Cosmo said.

Early the next morning, Tails came to pick her up. "Where are we going today?" she asked him.

"There's a big robot expo at the Space and Time Museum!" Tails cried enthusiastically. "It's great seeing robots that aren't built to step on buildings!"

"Oh no!" Cosmo thought. Then he kissed her, and it didn't seem so bad anymore.

"I'm not boring you, am I?" he asked.

"Oh no," Cosmo said snuggling up to him.

Love means never having to say "You're boring!"

The End!