Chapter 9 "Dear Dumb Diary"
Spongebob stared at the little pink book that sat on his nightstand. Just stared at it. You shouldn't have done it, Squarepants. She trusted you!
Spongebob turned over and covered his head with his pillow, begging his conscience to let him sleep. You can still read it, you know. The bad side of his mind chided. I mean, while you have it, you may as well see what she has to say about you.
He turned over again. Don't touch that diary. How would you like it if someone took your personal thoughts and read them?
Spongebob sat up in bed. "Stop fighting!" he shouted.
Gary crawled up onto the bed. "Meow." he said.
"Shoulder angels?" Spongebob repeated. He sighed. "I know how to fix this," he muttered. He got up out of bed and slid down to his library. He counted a couple of books, and finally pulled out a black notebook titled "Spongebob's Diary." He opened it up to the first page.
Dear diary,
Today, I met a land squirrel. She's really cool! She knows karate (hi-YAH!) and I like the way she talks. She wears this funny looking helmet. Putting on airs, I think it's called. My best friend, Patrick, said that's just fancy talk. He says if you wanna be fancy, hold your pinky up. I'm going to Sandy's (that's the name of the squirrel) house tomorrow. I really like Sandy, I hope I don't blow it!
Spongebob laughed out loud at the rememberence. He turned the page.
Dear diary,
AIR IS NOT GOOD! I went to Sandy's "Air Bubble" today. There's no water there! I tried really hard not to freak out...she liked the flowers I bought her, though. When she found out I needed water, she only laughed and said "If y'all needed water, you should a asked!" Ah, Sandy. I feel like I can tell her anything, even though I just met her! ANYTHING!
Spongebob sighed. "Yeah, until I stole her diary." he turned a couple of pages, skipping ahead to Sandy's homesick incident.
Dear diary,
Today was dangerous. Sandy almost tore my limbs off! I suppose it was partially my fault. I did make fun of Texas. She ended up forgiving me, though. Lucky, too, or I could have been turned into oatmeal! She told me she could never be mad at me forever, despite what she often says. I'm glad, too, because I have a bad feeling that, one day, I'll do something unforgivable. I hope I don't!
Spongebob huffed. "Yeah, me too." He closed the diary. "Please give me an answer!" he whispered, and opened up to a random page.
Dear diary,
Oh my gosh, I made SO much of an idiot out of myself today. I can still feel my cheeks burning. I kept ripping my pants...on purpose! I was only doing it at first because it was making Sandy laugh. Ah boy, do I love hearing that laugh! But after a while, I guess it got old. Sandy stopped talking to me, and went to hang out with Larry Don't get me wrong, I like Larry and all, but...I hate when he takes Sandy from me. He's so...so...so flirty! I dunno, I guess it kinda makes me jealous when he takes Sandy's attention from me. Anyway, Sandy told me to just be myself, because she likes me for ME, not for some comedian. It's till good to make her laugh, but I think I just have to not try so hard.
He closed the diary and sighed. "Ill figure it out tomorrow," he told himself. He replaced the diary on the shelf, and climbed back up to his bedroom. He sat on his bed and stared at the clock. It was 12:00 A.M. "Oh, why did I have to do that?" he asked Gary. Gary was asleep. Spongebob's gaze wandered back to Sandy's diary. It was awfully tempting...
No! He refused to invade her privacy. Oh, but such a tempting secret...
Spongebob looked out his window, than back at the book. He ran his fingers along the cover. He put his fingers underneath the first page, and slowly opened it...