This is the second birthday oneshot: Sasuke.
WARRNING- if you are a Sasukefan you may find the following mean, but I PERSONALLY don't like him, so I make fun of him...
Enjoy, please R,R. even if you are a Sasukefan.
Poll- sent your answer in a review- Who is more obsessed about Sasuke: Naruto or Karin.
Naruto, who has spent all of Shippuden and the 3 year time skip trying to find Sasuke.
Karin, who wants to ravage him, and carries the sweat shirt with her.
Happy Birthday: Sasuke
"Happy birthday Sasuke, here you go."
"Wow thanks mom." Sasuke gets a pancake.
"Happy birthday son, now remember do not stalk your brother just because he is much more loved than you, and here is a plushy of Itachi."
"Dad do you want to see how good I am at using Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu."
"No, I want to stand slightly behind Itachi shouting loudly how proud I am to have his as a son to everyone who sees us."
"Ohm okay."
"Sasuke", Flicks forehead, "I'll give you your present tonight."
"Okay."
Later that night…
'It's not so that that everyone would be sleeping, so why are there no lights on... Dum de dum dee doo, oh why are they sleeping outside… wait why are they bleeding…'
"Itachi, mom and dad are dead, who could have done this?"
Itachi throws a kunai into Sasukes arm.
"Brother why did you do this?"
"Mangekyou Sharingan."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Happy birthday Foolish Little brother."
A.N - Sarcastic tone for most of Sasukes speech from here on, just figure out when he's not.
Years later…
"Happy birthday Sasuke, here you go."
"Wow… thanks Sakura, another picture of you; I'll add it to the others." When Sakura is not looking- Katon: Hōsenka no Jutsu.
"Happy birthday Sasuke, it's my favorite Ramen flavour."
"Oh joy, mine too." Sasuke says as he throws it into the bin.
"Here Sasuke, it's a pill that will make your Chirdori do anything."
"This is the first useful thing I have received in years." Sasuke says as he swallows the pill.
"But you can only eat it if you have no Chakra left or you will get a very bad stomach bug… Where did Sasuke go?"
A year later…
"Happy birthday Sasuke-kun, I got you a new training suit."
"Why is in crotch-less, and why do the wrist and ankle guards have chains leading to your bed?"
"Oh, just so you can …um… drag my bed around the base to get stronger."
"Will it make me strong enough to kill Itachi."
"Sure why not."
"Happy birthday Sasuke-kun, I got this for you." Kabuto said as he handed him a strange box.
"Thank you Kabuto, what is it?"
"Open it and see."
-Opens the strange box and a mysterious gas hits Sasuke in the face, causing him to pass out.
"Good work Kabuto, now help me put him into the new suit I got for him."
"But it was just a cake, why did he pass out?"
"That's not a cake, its explosives and poisons."
"Oh, woops, that means that I sent a happy birthday cake to -."
"I do not care now help me with this suit."
Years later…
"Happy birthday Sasuke, here you go."
"Wow thank you Karin, a picture of you and me together."
"Yes can you see how perfect we would be together!"
"No."
"Well maybe after I have ravaged you tonight you will understand."
"No."
"Happy birthday Sasuke, here you go."
"Okay Jugo, thank you for the socks."
"THEY ARE SOCK WHICH WILL KILL EVERYONE!"
"Quiet."
"Okay Sasuke, they have kittens on them."
"Okay, Jugo."
"Happy birthday Sasuke, I fixed your blade, something was wrong with it."
"No, I made that to work perfectly with my Chakra."
"Oh, well now it works perfectly with mine."
A year later…
"Happy birthday Sasuke, here you go."
"Okay, thank you Kisame, what is it?"
"It was Itachis' last nail polish."
"I hate him so much!"
-But not enough- From the bottle.
"I heard Itachi, where is he, I know he's here."
"Okay, byes… the Uchiha are all crazy."
"Happy birthday Sasuke, here you go. It's from the rest of the Akatsuki."
"What is it?"
"It is a book Itachi wrote, it has all of his battle plans in, and some stuff about you in it."
"Okay… Why do you all think that I want to have all of Itachis' things?"
"Well you do hug his pillow at night and you do yell him name every other minute."
"That's not true. I'm strangling his pillow and declaring my undying hate for him." Sasuke said, obviously a lie.
"Well this is … not the worse birthday present, so thank you."
Please Review.
Thanks for reading.