Welcome to the new (and first) long Klare story!
Legal: I own nothing but the idea.
Important things to know before reading:
*Uniforms were never enforced, cops at the school and metal detectors were implemented.
*Margaret Matlin died six years ago leaving Mr. Matlin a widow.
*Spin is still in town, running The Dot and dating Paige again.
That should do it, the rest will be explained in the story.
Enjoy!
Ch. 1 They Say True Love is Suicide
(K.C.)
"Honey," Mom broaches when she pulls up to school Monday morning, "how would you feel if I went on a date?"
"I would say it's about time, who's the guy?"
"His name is Richard, he's a widower. He has two girls, one of them goes to Degrassi, Katie Matlin. Richard says she's a big soccer star," Mom tells me.
I think a minute but don't remember any Katie Matlin. I don't really pay attention to the girl's soccer team though. "Doesn't sound familiar," I shake my head.
"We're just going to dinner, but I may be home late," Mom says.
"No problem Mom, have fun tonight," I smile, kissing her cheek before I get out of the car.
I walk into school and go to my locker; down the hall I see Clare with Eli. They're talking, too far away for me to hear what they're saying, but Clare looks scared or maybe worried and I wonder what's going on, but it's not my place to pry. He's not hurting her or anything, so I get my book and go to class. Clare and Eli come a few minutes later and he kisses her at the door.
"You, okay?" I ask Clare as she sits at her desk.
"Fine," she says, pasting a smile on her face. I know she's lying but I screwed up when I left her for Jenna. We're friends again, but I'm sure she wouldn't want to talk about her current relationship with her ex.
Leaving Clare for Jenna was easily the worst mistake I've made in my life. Jenna was more physical than Clare and my hormones responded to that. We slept together too soon and when Jenna's brother moved over the summer for a job Jenna went with him. In September, she called me to tell me she was pregnant, and I was shocked, I didn't know what to say. A week later she called to tell me she aborted and then hung up and we haven't spoken since. I was shocked when she told me she was pregnant, but I thought we'd work it out together. When she told me she aborted I was really hurt. I didn't have any notions that I could support a baby, or that she would move in with us or anything. I did think I'd have some kind of say in what happened. If I could go back and tell myself to stay with Clare I'd give just about anything to do so.
I watch Clare the rest of the day, but she seems okay. She and Adam even eat lunch with us, normally they eat alone with Eli. I stop worrying about Clare by the end of third period. She's smiling for real now and seems more relaxed. I have basketball practice after school and Dave drops me at home. Since Mom is on her date, she left me pizza money. I order pizza and get started on my homework. I'm done and watching TV when Mom comes home at nearly ten, with a huge smile on her face.
"I take it the date went well?"
"Really well, oh K.C. I haven't felt this way since your father," Mom gushes sitting next to me on the sofa.
"I'm really happy for you Mom," I smile.
She sits with me for a bit longer asking about school and practice before she says goodnight. I watch Clare the rest of the week, but she seems okay, and she's with Eli a lot. Mom is happy all week, she says she and Richard have another date on Friday but Mom is coming to my game first. If we win Friday, we move on to the championships. I finally figure out who Katie is, she's editor of the paper, I've seen her around but don't know much about her.
"I heard Adam say Clare was sleeping at your house tonight, and they're watching the game together," Dave remarks to Drew. It's after school and the three of us are on the court stretching before the game.
"Your mom is letting her sleep over?" I question.
"Yeah, because Adam's fucking worried about her and honestly so am I," Drew replies.
"Why?" Me and Dave ask at the same time.
"Guess you didn't see the story Eli wrote that got published," Drew comments and we shake our heads. "He called the story Stalker Angel for one, then based the main characters on him and Clare. In the story Eli's character realizes the only way for he and Clare to be together is to kill her and drink her blood," Drew enlightens us, and we both freeze.
"That's messed up," Dave remarks.
"Adam says Eli changed the ending after finding Fitz at her house Sunday," Drew tells us and I almost choke.
"Fitz was at her house? Also, how long did Clare know about this ending?" I inquire.
"She's known since Monday morning when Eli changed the ending," Drew replies. I realize that must have been what they were talking about when I saw them in the hall Monday, and why she looked scared. "Which he changed after finding Fitz inside her house. Guess Fitz got beat up by his stepbrother, and then claimed his bike crashed in the rain outside her house and she let him in. Then Eli found them together, ran out and waited outside her house. When Fitz left, she came out and talked to him, then Eli went home and changed his ending to killing Clare and drinking her blood."
"Do you think Eli would actually hurt Clare?" I ask.
"I don't know, he did get Fitz arrested and poisoned him at Vegas Night," Drew says.
"Yeah, but he was feuding with Fitz, he wouldn't hurt Clare, right?" Dave questions, but even he doesn't sound so sure.
Drew only shrugs in response, I don't find this very comforting, but I don't know Eli at all. I'm worried but Coach blows the whistle for us to start warming up and I don't have time to think about it now. I see Clare enter with Adam and sit with him in the stands. I don't realize I'm staring at her until Julian hits me with the ball.
I shake it off and concentrate on the game. Degrassi wins and we all celebrate on the court. In the celebration I don't see Clare leave. Mom congratulates me on the win before she leaves for her date. The team goes for pizza after the game and Dave drops me at home again. I'm actually home before Mom, she comes home from her date wearing another large smile.
"You really played well tonight K.C. I'm very proud of you," Mom says.
"Thanks, Mom, I take it by the smile you had another great date."
"I did, and things are getting pretty serious with us. We want to get the families together next weekend. Richard's girls both have things this weekend or we'd do it this weekend."
"Cool, I look forward to meeting them."
(CLARE)
"Your father and I are going out for dinner, I'll order you kids some pizza," Audra says when we're in the van on the way to Adam's. Omar joined us at the game but came in his own car after work.
"I can order the pizza Mom, I'll order from my phone," Adam says while fishing in his pocket for it.
"You have everything you need Clare?" Audra asks while Adam is ordering pizza.
"Yes Mrs. Torres, thank you for letting me sleep over tonight."
"Our pleasure Honey, I can't believe Eli wrote an ending like that," Audra shakes her head.
I was pretty sure the only reason she was letting me stay the night was because of Eli's story. It didn't matter, she was letting me and a night with Adam would do me some good. I was very surprised when Mom agreed to let me stay the night at Adam's, of course she did have plans tonight.
Since Dad walked out on us, she's been out more and more after work and on weekends. A week after Christmas Dad announces he's moving to Alberta with Elaine. He walked out and we haven't heard from him since. He sent me a card for my birthday, it had $100 in it, as if he thought that made walking out on me okay. It was hard on me, but it had been even harder on Mom, she broke down and she's been spending a lot of time out with her friends. I hope this is temporary and she'll be back to being a mom soon.
Dad walking out was hard on me too, but I had Eli, Adam and my other friends. Then last week Fitz came back and things with Eli got intense. I was still hurt that my father left, but with all the Fitz/Eli stuff I've hardly thought about my dad this week. I'm still angry at him for just walking out, I just haven't had time to dwell on it now.
"Pizza will be here in forty minutes," Adam says just as Audra parks. "Let's put on a movie, we can watch until the pizza gets here."
Audra goes upstairs while Adam and I sit on the living room sofa. We're still discussing what to watch when Omar comes in. He goes upstairs too but returns before Audra. When Audra does come downstairs, they leave to have dinner. When the pizza gets here, we pause the movie and take the pizza down to the basement. Adam resumes the movie from the basement TV, and we eat the entire pizza.
"You want some ice cream? We can watch another movie; Drew probably won't be home for an hour."
"Ice cream sounds good, I'm going to use the washroom," I tell him. I use the washroom and when I come out Adam has the ice cream bowls down and the ice cream out.
"I know you think it's just because of Fitz coming back and all, but Eli's behavior has been pretty erratic lately. That new ending to Stalker Angel was pretty drastic. Stalker Angel was already a dramatic story based on you two. Aren't you at all concerned?" Adam asks as we begin getting ice cream into the bowls.
"Eli's very passionate, he feels things deeply. Sometimes irritatingly so, and I am a little concerned, but I'm sure when things with Fitz have settled down so will Eli."
"I hope so," Adam sighs.
We sit down with our ice cream and put on another movie; Drew comes home part way into the movie. He grabs some ice cream and watches the rest of the movie with us. Audra and Omar return home and tell us to be in bed by one. We watch another movie and then Adam helps me make a bed on the basement sofa. I sleep rather well and eat breakfast with the family Saturday morning. After breakfast and cleaning up Audra and the boys drop me at home on the way to do errands. The house is empty but I'm sure Mom is out doing errands.
Late in the afternoon Eli shows up, I let him in, actually he kind of bursts in. We stay downstairs watching TV though. When my mom still isn't home at six and hasn't called or anything Eli takes me to dinner. We're out for a couple of hours, Mom still isn't home when Eli drops me back at home. He walks me to the door giving me a gentle kiss.
"I love you, Clare. I'm working on something new, something better than Stalker Angel."
"That's great Eli, thanks for dinner. I should get inside," I tell him, disappearing through the door before he can say anything. We've never said "I love you" before and I wasn't ready to say it back.
I turn on some lights and go upstairs to shower, sending a text to Mom before I go in. When she hasn't replied by the time I'm out of the shower I call her, but get no answer. Not knowing where Mom is or if she's okay I stay downstairs watching TV. Mom stumbles in drunk after midnight, I've never seen her drunk and it's a little worrisome. Still, I know how incredibly hard it's been on her with Dad walking out and leaving her for another woman. Mom sort of says hi and I help her up to bed. She passes out as soon as she's on the bed.
I get ready for bed, emailing Darcy before I get in bed, not that I expect to hear from her. She hasn't emailed since before Dad walked out. I sleep very restlessly with disturbing dreams, and wake to my mom yelling on the phone. When Mom yells Dad's name I know my parents are arguing over the phone. I don't want to hear it or deal with Mom after she's been arguing with Dad. So, I quickly get dressed and ready for the day and walk to The Dot for breakfast. Fitz is working, he gives me a smile and I smile back to be polite. I haven't seen him since he came to my house. Of course, I've also been avoiding The Dot since then.
"Hey Clare, can we talk a minute? Can I take my break Spin?" Fitz asks. Spin raises his eyebrow at me to ask if it's okay and I nod. Spinner says okay and Fitz motions for me to go through the door again. We go out to the tables and sit at one. "I'm sorry for pushing, and for just showing up at your house like that Clare. I heard about Eli's story, and I'm not wrong about him being dangerous," Fitz tells me half apologetically and half pleading.
"I accept your apology but I'm not listening to your opinion of my relationship with Eli. I don't think you are exactly objective or impartial when it comes to me and Eli," I reply, twisting my mouth.
"That's true, but are you going to tell me you're not worried about the story?"
"It's just a story, fantasy," I reply with a shrug. The truth is I'm very worried, but I'm not going to admit that, especially not to Fitz.
"Okay, anyway I just wanted to say I was sorry, and you won't see me for a while. Father Gregg and I had a long talk and I'm going with Free the Children to help build schools, houses, and clean water systems in South America. It will get me away from home while doing good for others, Father Gregg thinks it will be good for me."
"I think it will too, my sister is doing similar in Africa. When do you leave?"
"A couple of weeks. Johnny and Lucas are throwing me a party the Saturday before, it would be nice if you'd come. I'll understand if you don't though. I sh…" Fitz is saying when we get distracted by screeching tires and see Morty lurch to a stop. Eli gets out of the car slamming the door and storming over to us.
"Stay away from her Fitz," Eli growls, grabbing my arm and pulling me up roughly.
"I'm not the dangerous one Eli," Fitz replies, managing to keep his voice calm.
"Eli calm down, we were just talking," I scold him trying to get my arm out of his grasp.
"Stay away from my girlfriend Fitz," Eli snarls again. He's still not releasing my arm, only glaring at Fitz.
"Chill Eli, I was just apologizing, like I've been trying to do with you since I got out," Fitz says. His hands are up in surrender as he tries to walk around us to go back inside.
"I don't want your apology, I want you to keep away from us," Eli spits back. He grabs Fitz's shirt like he's going to punch him. He has to let go of me to grab Fitz and make a fist.
"Eli stop," I demand tugging at his shirt. I try to pull him away, but he won't move. He swings and Fitz tries to dodge but Eli is holding him firm, his fist makes contact with Fitz's jaw, and I gasp.
"ELI," Spinner barks from the doorway, "you need to cool off. Clare get inside and Fitz get back to work."
"Come with me Clare," Eli says in a commanding tone.
"No, I'm staying to have breakfast Eli," I reply and walk inside. Just as I walk past Spinner, I hear Morty's car door slam again and then Eli drives off fast.
"What would you like Clare it's on me, as part of my apology," Fitz says.
"Thanks Fitz, that's very nice of you, especially considering that Eli hit you on account of us talking," I say remorsefully, looking at the red spot on Fitz's jaw.
"Eh, this," Fitz shrugs, rubbing his jaw, "this is nothing. I've had much worse. Now what would you like for breakfast?"
I order, he rings it up and puts his own money in. I sit down and Fitz brings me my order when it's ready. I stay and eat at The Dot, after eating I thank Fitz again, say goodbye to him and Spinner and walk to Adam's. Adam and Drew are in the basement and wave when I come in the basement. They're eating breakfast and watching TV, so I sit down with them.
"You hungry?" Adam questions.
"No, I ate at The Dot. Fitz paid for my breakfast as part of his apology, even though Eli hit him after he saw us talking."
"Eli hit him because you were talking?" Drew questions pausing the tv. "Wait Eli hit him in The Dot?"
"Well, outside of it really. Eli might have done it again if Spinner hadn't stormed out and told him to stop," I comment standing up to take off my winter coat since it's warm in here.
"What happened to your arm?" Adam questions as I sit down again.
"When Eli saw me outside talking to Fitz, he jumped out of Morty and came over yanking me out of my seat. Fitz was apologizing, telling me that he's leaving in a couple weeks for South America. We were sitting across the table and Eli totally lost it."
"You know the anniversary of Julia's death is in a few days. Maybe Eli's erratic behavior and the way he's been so obsessive about you being around Fitz has to do with losing Julia," Adam comments.
"That would make sense, his overly obsessive and possessive behavior, especially around Fitz. Maybe he's afraid of losing me the way he did Julia. You know he told me he loves me last night," I comment.
"Whoa, that's kind of fast, isn't it?" Drew remarks.
"Yeah, I thought so too, and I didn't say it back. I think Eli's not thinking clearly because he's so consumed with the anniversary of Julia's death. The first anniversary is always the hardest right. I'm going to tell Eli that we need a break, and he needs to really think about us. He needs to think about how he really feels about me, I need to know he isn't transferring feelings for Julia onto me."
"Yeah, I'm sure he'll take that real well," Drew remarks, rolling his eyes and Adam smacks his brother. "What I meant was you should do it in public, in case he freaks out. I gotta go get ready for my date with Bianca." Drew takes his plate and runs upstairs.
"If you really want to do it, I'll go with you," Adam says when Drew is upstairs.
"Thanks Adam, I'll call Eli and ask him to meet us at Withrow Park."
"Okay, you call Eli I'll go get ready," Adam says.
He takes his plate and goes upstairs. I call Eli and ask him to meet at Withrow Park in half an hour. When Adam returns downstairs, we leave through the basement door and walk to Withrow Park. I asked him to meet near the playground, and we stand where we'll be visible. It's not snowing now, but it did last night, it's left an icy covering on things, so there's no kids playing on the equipment. Eli sees us and waves, he smiles and then twists his mouth when he seems to realize Adam is with me.
"Hi Edwards, I'm glad you called," Eli grins and then looks at Adam, "hey Adam."
"Eli, we need to talk," I tell him as he leans in to kiss me. I back up a couple steps dodging the kiss.
"I know you're angry about this morning Clare, b…" Eli starts but I cut him off.
"It's more than that Eli. Things have been moving fast, and you've been on edge. I know the anniversary of Julia's death is soon and I think it's a lot of why your behavior has been so erratic. I think it's why you've been so on edge. I also think we need a break Eli, y…"
"YOU ARE NOT BREAKING UP WITH ME," Eli yells.
"Not breaking up Eli, a break, until after Julia's death. You need time Eli, time to think about how you really feel about me. I need time, I need time to know that you aren't transferring feelings for Julia to me. We both need time to figure out how we both feel. After March break, when the anniversary of Julia's death has passed and we've both had time to sort out our feelings we can get back together, if we both want to."
"I don't need time; I know how I feel. I love you Clare and we are not breaking up," Eli growls stepping forward.
Adam steps between us with his hand on Eli's chest. "You need to chill Eli. Clare, go home, let me talk to him."
"Okay, thanks Adam," I smile.
"NO, YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME CLARE," Eli yells but I'm already walking away quickly. I walk to the corner and catch the bus home. Mom is gone when I get home. I make some tea and go up to my room. My mind is restless, I try to write but I can't hold a thought, so I give up and put on a show instead. When my phone rings and I see Adam's name I pause the show and pick up my phone.
"Hi Adam."
"Hey, I spent a long time talking to Eli, but he never calmed down. He stormed off again, he might stop by or at least try to call."
"Thanks for trying Adam, maybe he'll let what I said sink in and realize I'm right."
"I have a better chance of being elected sexiest man of the year," Adam comments and I laugh.
Adam and I stay on the phone for a couple of hours. Mom returns in the late afternoon, and she actually brought dinner. We eat together, but don't really talk, and I definitely don't tell her about all the drama with Eli. I'm worried about seeing Eli at school on Monday, he tries to approach me a few times, but I avoid him. I manage to avoid him all week, mostly spending a lot of time in the girl's washroom, the roof and anywhere else I think Eli won't know about or can't get into. I'm able to avoid Eli until Friday morning when he comes running up to me at my locker.
"Clare, I'll take you home at lunch to pack," Eli says and then walks off leaving me standing there stunned.
"What was that about?" I ask Adam who is at his locker next to mine.
"I have no idea, want me to talk to him?" Adam questions.
"No, it's better than Eli yelling," I reply.
Adam smiles and we walk to class. We have a test in math and Dawes lets us do what we want in art since it's the last day before break. As Adam and I are leaving art for lunch Eli runs over and takes my hand.
"Come on Clare, we need to get you home to pack, we leave this afternoon," Eli says in a sort of frantic voice as he tugs at my hand.
"Eli, what are you talking about, we're on a break," I reply, ripping my hand away from him.
"Right, break, March break you're coming with me and my parents to Ottawa. Five whole days away and virtually alone together, just what we need, even your mom agreed when she said you could come on the trip. She thinks you'll be sharing a room with my mom of course, but we'll have our own room," Eli says in a frenetic tone.
"I don't know what my mom told you Eli, but I am not going with you for break. We are on a break; you need to work out feelings over Julia a…"
"NO, I DON'T, JULIA IS GONE I LOVE YOU," Eli screams. His yelling attracts the attention of everyone in the hall including K.C. and Dave. Eli reaches for me, but Adam steps between us with his hands on Eli's shoulders.
"She's not going with you Eli, go eat lunch," Adam asserts. Eli doesn't move, he just looks at us with narrowed eyes. When he doesn't move K.C. comes over standing with Adam between me and Eli.
"Back off Eli, Clare's eating lunch with us and not going away with you," K.C. tells him with his arms crossed and standing tall.
"Have fun on your trip Eli but we're done, I can't be with you anymore," I tell Eli and then turn on my heel walking off quickly. I walk toward Dave and as soon as I'm a few feet away Adam and K.C. follow me.
"You alright Clare? What was that about?" K.C. asks.
"Forget it, let's eat lunch," I reply.
Adam gives me a concerned look and I give him a smile in return. As much of a smile as I can at the moment. Alli, Wes, Connor, Hannah and Liam are all in the caf already and we sit down with them.
"Clare you should come to my house and get ready for the dance," Alli says as soon as we sit down.
"Sure, as long as Sav doesn't mind running me home after school to get my dress and stuff."
"Oh, Sav won't mind at all," Alli grins happily volunteering her brother's services.
We finish our lunch and stay together, even walking to class together. There's no games tonight, but most of the teams still have practice right after school. The dance committee is getting the auditorium ready for the dance as soon as school is out. I follow Alli to Sav's locker when we leave fourth period.
"Hey, best big brother ever," Alli grins as we approach Sav.
"Uh-oh, sounds like she wants something, I'll see you at the dance," Holly J comments. She kisses Sav's cheek and walks off.
"What is it Alli?" Sav kind of groans.
"Clare's coming over to get ready for the dance, but we need to run by her house first."
"Is that all? That's easy, come on," Sav replies waving us forward.
We follow him out to the car, and he stops at my house. I grab my dress, shoes and jewelry and everything else I need to get ready. Alli and I spend the next two hours getting ready for the dance. I was going to go with Eli, I even picked my dress based on his eye color. So much for that, but I still love the dress and by the time Alli and I are done we both look great.
"We are going to be the hottest girls at that dance," Alli grins.
I smile hooking my arm with Alli's and we go downstairs. Sav whistles when he sees us, Mrs. Bhandari takes a dozen pictures of the three of us. On the way to the dance, I text Mom that I'm going to the dance with Alli and might stay the night. Thankfully there's been no snow all week, so it's not treacherous to walk in our heels. Sav leaves us as soon as we're in the school, he walks toward student council while we walk into the dance together. We hand our tickets to the grade nines at the door and go into the auditorium.
"Wow, you two look incredible," Dave smiles coming over.
"Why thank you Dave," Alli grins back. She bats her eyelashes and strikes a pose for him.
"Can I get you two some punch or something?" Dave offers.
"Punch would be great," Alli replies taking my hand.
We follow Dave to the food table, and he gets us both a glass of punch. We get a little to eat and talk with Dave for a few minutes. Adam, Connor, Wes, and Hannah find us, and we sit at a table talking a bit. Alli and I dance to most of the fast songs together. Dave joins us for a couple songs, Alli dances to one slow song with Dave and two with a senior whose name I forget. I dance to a slow song with Connor and one with Adam, even one with Julian. After dancing with Julian, I go back to the food and hear my phone ringing. When I fetch it from the small purse I brought I see it's Eli and hang up. As soon as I hang up Eli calls again, and again and again. Every time I hang up, he calls right back.
"What's wrong?" Alli asks.
"Eli keeps calling, he won't stop. I'm going to step outside and see what he wants, I'll be back in a moment," I tell Alli.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"No, I'll be fine. He's on his way to Ottawa with his parents. I'll be back in a moment," I tell Alli. She nods and I walk quickly from the auditorium, as soon as I'm away from the loud music I answer the phone. "What is it, Eli?"
"I love you Clare, I love you more than anything and you BROKE MY HEART! You want space? I'll give you all the space you could ever need," Eli says in an eerie voice. It sounds like he's in a car and it seems to be going faster and faster as he talks.
"Eli let me talk to your mom."
"She's not here, just you and me Clare to the bitter end. I'll always love you Clare," Eli says and the next thing I hear is a terrible crashing sound.
"ELI?! ELI?!" I scream into the phone. I hear the car and rubble falling but nothing else. My heart pounds, tears sting my eyes and I wonder if I just heard my boyfriend kill himself on the phone with me. "ELI!"