I'm really not satisfied with this chapter but I'm posting it anyway. I probably went seriously OOC with Nate, but I don't really know what his character is like, so forgive me for that.

Anyway, I hope this chapter won't scare you away cause the next chapter will be better. :D

And thank you for your reviews, those really make me happy :)

Oh, I don't own anything, naturally.

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1. Facing the truth.

Agony ripped through Blair's torso as she dumped the remains of her stomach into the toilet. Sweat dripped from her forehead, which seemed to be on fire. Not even trying to pull herself together again she laid her head on the blinking bathroom floor and curled op in a ball. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, making wet spots on the fabric that covered her shoulder.

It had only taken a week for her to collapse and she hated herself for it. Sure she had known that it wasn't going to be easy, but she had lived through it once, it shouldn't have been stupid to think she could do it again. But of course it was. Because this time he hadn't just hurt her, left her in grief. No, he had cut every thing that could possibly hold them together loose. The night he confessed it was all just a power struggle he hadn't just damaged her heart again. He had ripped it right out of her chest.

Stupid Basshole.

It wasn't the only thing that was making it worse. Last time there had always been someone, a shoulder to cry on. This time there was no one, because no one could possibly understand what she was going through. There had never been a Devil and his Queen before, not like them. There had never been two people who hated each other more than they did. Because no matter how much they wanted the other one to burn, their love would always rise above that wish. And for anyone but them that was something impossible to understand.

And so she had no one. No mother who could help her. No Serena who could dry her eyes. And no Nate who was to stupid to see how they just didn't belong together. Never have, never will.

She moaned quietly as the memory from earlier today popped in her head.

"You broke up with Chuck for me," he reminded her, letting her know he already understood were this was going to.

"I wasn't with Chuck. I was with you. Don't flatter yourself," she scoffed. She looked in his blue eyes for her moment and found herself comparing them to a pair of dark, piercing irises. She was willing to give everything she owned to be talking to those eyes right now.

"Anyway," she composed herself, "as I was saying: I've spend some time thinking about everything that has happened since the first time we broke up." She couldn't even put emotion in her voice when she was breaking up with someone who only tried to care for her. "And I realised that we didn't broke up without reason."

"We broke up because you slept with Chuck." The way he said his name made her want to struggle him. He didn't do the word justice.

"After we broke up because you couldn't get over Serena," she threw back at him. "Which was really easy for you when you weren't committed to me anymore."

"Oh please! Are we going to start that again?!"

"No we're not." She sighed. "Listen Nate, you know I really like you. You'll always be my first boyfriend, my first love. But we just don't work together anymore."

"We work perfectly fine together," he muttered. "Just not the way you worked with—"

"No we don't," she cut him off, not sure if she could bare to hear him say his name one more time. "Not anymore."

"As in you don't love me?"

"I'll always love you, Archibald. But that's it. I'm not in love with you, it just took me some time to realize that." She just wanted this to be over, she wanted to go home and eat. Her stomach growled in agreement.

"But I'm in love with you." He was going to beg her now. To bad she didn't have a heart anymore. "That has to count for something, right? I mean. I'm not even asking you to love me back the way I do you. I just need you to give me another chance, I can make you happy."

"Seriously Nate? Are you kidding me? Have you watched bad sitcoms lately?" she sneered. Hurt flashed in his eyes, but it was going to be worth it, he just had to remember how easily he could fall 'in love' with another girl. "You aren't in love with me and you know it. We both know it was just the comfort of the pas we were enjoying, but honestly that can't continue.

There are people who need you, and people who need me, but we don't need each other."

How stupid he had been, trying to tighten his hold on her when she was in desperate need to get away. Classic mistake number one. But maybe that was just what he was classic and predictable. Was it possible she never noticed that before her and Chuck happened?

It was impossible to think about that when another scream of pain escaped from her mouth as she thought about the time they were happening.

Oh, how much she hated that Motherchucker for making her miss him so much.

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Chuck had no idea what he was doing, or why he was doing it. He had promised her she was free to go, that he wouldn't be there anymore to stop her. And he had kept that promise, he had even left town for a couple a days to make avoiding her easier. So why did he back up now? Why was he standing in the elevator that would always linger in her smell?

He choose not to answer that question and instead try to ignore the whining voice in the back of his head that told him to turn around and run for it.

The ride up seemed to take longer than it ever had and he was just about to call to the reception to see if there was something wrong with the elevator when the doors slid open.

He didn't wait for Dorota to come and greet him, she would just send him away. So he directly move towards the stairs and started climbing. He new Blair's mother wouldn't be home, like she never was, so he had all the time to do whatever he was going to do. If he could just figure out what that was in time.

His fingers pressed against her bedroom door and the feeling like he was coming home hit him in the face. Stunned that he could even feel such a thing he opened her door slowly and stared into her room.

"Blair?" he barely whispered. She wasn't there.

Suddenly he could do nothing but be angry at himself. Why did he expect her to be in her room on a Saturday night? After all she still had a boyfriend. The fact that he prayed that that wasn't true didn't chance anything about that situation.

He was about to turn around and leave like he'd never been there when a loud, piercing scream froze him. It was the most awful, hurtful sound he had ever heard, even though he could hear the beauty of her voice reflect in it.

"Blair," he nearly screamed, way beyond thinking while he moved swiftly to her bathroom door. The fear for what he could find behind the door got pressed down by the urge to help his true love who was clearly in pain. His hand found the doorknob and pushed the door open, somehow it didn't surprise him that the door wasn't locked. Or maybe he just couldn't feel any other emotion next to the ripping pain in his chest that the scene on the bathroom floor gave him.

"Blair…"