"Honestly, Fido, I'm not quite sure you are supposed to put your fist up that."

"Just stop whining and bend those legs, it makes it easier, relaxes the muscles you know."

"I still think your fist shouldn't be there."

"Oh, you know you like it."

Just then, Tom entered, "Fido get your fist out of that turkey's ass!"

"Look what I can do with my wand!" Harry shouted, placing it on a piano, and playing "Marry Had a Little Lamb"

Draco sighed. "I was so hoping for Moonlight Sonata."

Yero glared. "Stupid huswife. Stupid sex. Stupid baby. I want a pickle!"

Fabala grinned. "Sure, darling."

"I'm gonna kill you."

"That's not very nice dear."

"I want French fries…with maple syrup."

Fabala blinked.

"And sex!" Yero added.

"Hopefully not at the same time as the French fries with maple syrup."

"Yes, the same time" And with that, the two went to the bedroom.

Lucius blinked. Severus was still talking. He blinked again. "Hey, Sev," he interrupted. "Wanna go have casual, meaningless sex with me?"

Severus shrugged. "Oh, all right. I guess."

Lucius grinned. "YAY!"

Lucius' cat was content to lick itself in the kitchen, its rough tongue running over its fine fur. It sat in middle of the tile floor, right in the centre of a Death Eater meeting, and they all looked somewhat uncomfortable as the cat began to lick its private bits, spending ample time as it spread its legs wide, showing off to the world that it, in fact, had not been fixed.

George moaned softy as he lay on his bed, his thin form strewn about the satin sheets, the long fingers of his brother tracing the lean torso of the boy on the bed, as his mouth surrounded his twin, coaxing a moan from him. Fred smiled to himself as he moved his head between his brother's legs; this time, he was not glued to anything.

George screamed as a cat came from nowhere, landed on Fred's back, licked himself, and left.

Tom grinned, sitting down before his Death Eaters. Henry laughed. "Guess what? We've managed to make ten thousand galleons! Yay! And Lucius can now finally quit his job at Happy Farms!"

Lucius fell to his knees. "Thank you god! I mean, thank you my lord."

Fido grinned. "And to celebrate we are planning a mass orgy!"

The Death Eaters blinked.

"All right," Lucius said with a grin.

Fido bit down on Henry's nipple, causing a soft moan to escape from the voice's lips. Henry wondered for a moment if voices actually had lips, but that thought was soon replaced as he felt Fido's hand grasp at his erection. Henry smiled as he felt Fido's hand move up and down, his nipples still being toyed with by Fido's teeth.

"Qu'es-ce que tu as tes menottes?" Henry a demandé.

"Voila!" Fido a souri.

"Pourqoui est-ce que nous parlons en français?"

"Because," Fido answered, "It's more romantic to talk about handcuffs in French."

Archibald glanced at Voldemort. "You know, I suppose we could—"

"No," Voldemort interrupted. "We really couldn't."

"But it might be fun," Archibald offered. "Fido and Henry do it all the time."

Voldemort glared. "Do I look like Fido or Henry?"

"Actually," Archibald started, but Voldemort had all ready stormed out.

"Fido, Henry!" he screamed. "The next time you guys want to have sex don't tell Archibald that you guys are playing twister!"

"Oh my god! It's retractable!"

"Harry, I want another baby," Draco whined, slumping into a chair.

"Alright," Harry agreed, "As long as you carry this one, I just now got my figure back after Xaviere."

"Fabala." Draco corrected.

"Right."

"Can we name the baby Timmy?" Draco asked.

"What if it's a girl?"

"Then it will be a girl named Timmy?"

"Draco…have you been eating mini muffins again?" Harry raised his eyebrow.

"Just a couple dozen." Draco admitted. "Want some? Then we can have mini muffin Timmy making sex!"

"Now that we have enough money to bring about the apocalypse," Voldemort told his Death Eaters, "We need a plan to actually do that thing."

"Lets sic baby Timmy on the world." Lucius suggested.

"Good idea my little mini muffin." Archibald patted Lucius on the head.

"Isn't that a little redundant?" Bellatrix asked.

"Avada Kedavra!" Fido shot at Bella, missed, and hit Lucius' cat.

Draco glanced at Harry. "Was it good for you?"

Fabala answered the phone politely. "Who the fuck is this?"

"Fabala, I need your help!" came the voice from the other end.

"Mom!" it exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

There was a sob. "Draco's running around the apartment singing 'I'm preggers' over and over again and I'm about to go insane!" Harry screeched.

Fabala sighed. "I'm sorry mom."

Yero sat up suddenly and started bouncing around the room. "I'm preggers! I'm preggers! I'm preggers!"

Fabala twitched. "I'm gonna kill dad."

Fido danced gracefully about the room, his arms held above his head in a circle, his legs tensed as he leapt and twirled, singing softly the tune of "Moonlight Sonata." He ran into a bookshelf, but righted himself elegantly and went back to his dancing when the door opened, Fido tripping over his feet and crashing to the ground.

"What were you doing?" Henry asked.

"Nothing." Fido barked.

"Why are you on the floor?"

"I was masturbating, with fake I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." Fido covered quickly. "They sell it at Happy Farms Butter Co."

Henry blinked.

Tom spread the yellow substance gingerly onto his toast. "I dunno," he said after taking a bite. "I really can believe that it's not butter."

(A/N Reasons: This is just for TK)

Dobby turned to face Winkie. "It was being good for Dobby. Was it being good for Winkie?"

Harry turned his head to the side, gawking. Hagrid stood next to him beaming. "Ain't they beauties?" he asked.

Harry looked again. He blinked. "Hagrid. Those are unicorns."

"Right they are!" Hagrid replied, grinning.

"Hagrid," Harry tried again. "Those are unicorns fucking."

Hagrid smiled as if he had never quite understood what was so wrong about that.

Harry sighed and decided to try one more time. "Hagrid, those are fucking unicorns tattooed on your—"

Draco walked in. "Hi, Harry!" he interrupted, then stopped when he saw the giant. He cocked his head to the side, gaping. "Hagrid. Those are unicorns."

Bellatrix walked into the room, wearing a suit and tie, her breasts mysteriously missing. The Death Eaters gasped as she walked past, and they stared at the large bulge in her trousers. She walked confidently towards Tom, who could only stare.

"Bella?" He asked.

"It's Bob now." Bella/Bob answered in a low voice.

"Bob Lestrange?" Tom gawked.

"Yes!" Bob said proudly, "Wanna see it? It's so much fun!"

"Sure!" Archibald clapped excitedly, as Bob reached into his pants.

"Lucius!" Tom yelled.

"Something wrong my lord?" Lucius asked, pulling his head from between his master's bare legs.

"Your cat!"

"Yes?"

"It's staring at me."

"It's dead master."

"Yes, I realized that." Tom sneered, "but now it's all stuffed, and it's really creeping me out.

Lucius picked up the cat and threw it out of the room.

"Lucius!"

Yero sighed. "I feel fat."

Fabala grinned. "That's because you look fat."

"Thanks," Yero sneered.

Fabala grinned again. "I'm being honest." It smiled. "What do you want for dinner?"

Yero grinned. "Ice cream!" he shouted. "And pasta!
Fabala made a face. "Ew!" but it scurried off to the kitchen to make it.