The white cat with a little crescent moon on its forehead, walked slyly up to Lucius. "Excuse me. Have you seen a black cat, similar markings to mine, named Luna?"

Lucius blinked. He looked into the room where his dead cat now lay. He blinked again. "Ummmm….maybe?"

The cat twitched. "Well have you?"

Lucius blinked. "Am I high?"

The cat, named Artemis, huffed. "I couldn't begin to tell you."

"Then yes, that sounds like my cat. She's dead." Lucius blinked again.

"Ah. All right then." Artemis hissed and walked away, muttering about stupid blonds and who the hell was going to raise the damn kitten, Diana, now?

A fat, middle aged duck took a lung full of air to sing a song, and as he reached a note that most likely doesn't actually exist, Dumbledore fell from a tree that he was trying to take off of, and landed smack dab on top of the duck, crushing his duck like head.

Bunny sat colouring a pretty picture for his new friend Archibald, when his purple crayon was found missing still, and upon discovering this, he threw himself onto the floor and started to roll about, pounding his fists and crying uncontrollably, when a duck came flying through the room, bearing the previously mentioned 6 inch tall man, who was now crying "I want toast!"

"I have a plan!" Draco cried, "so I wont have to have any pain of childbirth."

"Yes?" Harry asked.

"Well, back home, we have a lot of gophers."

"And?"

"That's all I have so far."

Tom glared at the bottle of aspirin. "I hate you," he hissed. "I hate you, you bastard bottle. I need aspirin. You cannot be out."

Bunny was belting a song known only by Gravitation fans, called Spicy Marmalade. It was loud. He didn't care. He knew Tom did, but he also didn't care about that. He decided he would sing until someone found him a crayon.

Tom was weeping.

The fox demon blinked. "Bunny?" he asked again, hesitantly.

Archibald nodded. "And I need to seduce him."

Kurama raised an eyebrow. "All right. Why me?"

Archibald shrugged. "Dunno. You're a whore and you happened to be here?"

Kurama sighed. "There was a time before the age of gay fangirls with too much time on their hands when I was a dignified warrior and was not a slut. I remember those days."

Somewhere, Hiei was grumbling.

Meanwhile, on a small farm in Kansas, a little girl dreamed of going over the rainbow, her song was, however, interrupted by a 6 inch tall man riding on the aged head of a man who was honking desperately. She decided that this side of the rainbow was strange enough and ate some toast.

Fred and George stood before their mother who eyed them suspiciously.

"What did you do now?"

"Who actually."

"What?"

"Who," Fred corrected, "Who did we do now."

"And," George added, "not only who did we do now, but who did we make now."

"My god." Molly frowned.

"Yes well, as to who we did now," Fred smiled nervously, "that would be each other."

"And who we made," George chimed in "would be interestingly enough, at least fraternal twins because as you know, Fred and I are genetically identical."

Molly needed to throw something.

Harry rippled his abs, laughing as the Orca seemed to dive into his pants, although it didn't actually move. Draco rolled his eyes.

"You know," Harry whispered seductively. "Some people find tattoos romantic."

"Yes," Draco replied, slowly. "Some people also find you charming. I've never seen it."

Harry made an affronted noise. "I resent that!"

Draco sneered. "Feel free. Get me fries. Then we're having sex."

Harry thought about it for six seconds. "Ohtay."

Fido stroked Henry's hair, watching the other man sleep. "Night, 'Ry," he murmured, snuggling against him.

Tom rolled his eyes. "Get a room."

Yero patted his growing stomach, and he began to slowly dance around the room. "I feel pretty,

Oh so pretty,

I feel pretty and witty and bright!"

Just then, Fabala entered the room, and Yero threw himself onto the bed and pretended to be masculine, which, with his upbringing consisted of posing seductively on the satin sheets.

Henry kissed Fido gently, running his fingers softly through the dark hair, his eyes slowly fluttering shut. Fido wrapped his arms around Henry's thin waist, his eyes also closing, his mind drifting in and out of consciousness as he lay in Henry's arms.

"Dammit!" Tom bellowed, "I have to pee again!"

Lucius looked at himself in the mirror. He threw up. He looked at himself again. "There. Is. No. Way. In. Hell."

Voldemort sighed. "I'm sorry I got your boyfriend pregnant," he sighed again, placing his head in his hands.

"And what if it looks like a snake?" Tom raged, pacing. "And what if it doesn't look at all like me? And what if I was actually in love with him, you twit?"

"I'm sorry," Voldemort hissed, slamming his head into the table.

"I hate you!" Tom shrieked. "I wish I had my own fucking body!"

Tom's fairy godmother suddenly appeared. "Tay."

Six very surprised men found themselves lying naked on the floor. "Umm…what?" they collectively mumbled.

Draco lay on the bed, still naked; Harry sleeping next to him, "Honey," Draco woke Harry up.

"Wha?" Harry replied lazily.

"I think it's time."

Harry leapt up and grabbed the prepacked suitcase, "all right! To Saint Mungo's!"

"No," Draco said, "It's time for an Eggo."

"Sex?" Fido asked Henry.

"Sex." Henry answered.

"Sex?" Archibald asked Bunny.

"Crayon." Bunny answered, pointing to the empty space in the crayon box where purple should be.

Suddenly with a pop a little girl with blond hair in loose braids, a tye-dyed shirt, pyjama pants and a Barbie appeared. "Hi," she said brightly. "I'm your inner child!"

Tom dropped the other half of the twinkie to the floor.

Tom stood in front of the people sitting in circle of folding chairs, "I just wanted to have us all here so I could keep straight who all is pregnant here. So why don't we all go around and say our names and whose baby we're pregnant with. I'm Tom; I'm pregnant with Lucius' baby."

"I'm Lucius, I'm pregnant with I think Tom's baby."

"Ish…" Tom added.

Henry blushed, burying his head in Fido's chest. "He's Henry, I'm Fido, it's mine," Fido offered with a shrug.

Bunny blinked. "Meow?"

Archibald sighed. "Bunny. Archibald. He's pregnant."

Draco beamed, still not wearing any clothes. "I'm pregnant with Harry's baby!" he cried. "Shame there's a twenty year age difference between this baby and it's….it." Harry sighed.

Fred and George both grinned. "Fred and George," they both chorused. "It's his."

Yero mumbled. Fabala rolled it's eyes. "Yero, Fabala."

Yero glared. "I'm carrying it's baby."

Tom quirked an eyebrow. "Don't you think calling your husband an 'it' is a bit rude."

Yero glared some more. "It is an it."

Fabala lifted it's skirt.

Tom gaped. "Oh."

"Draco?" Bunny asked.

"Yes?"

"You're penis makes me laugh."

"Was that a question?"

"It's funny," Bunny giggled, "In a cute stuffed animal kind of way."

Rachel, the little girl, grinned. "Show me magic?"

Voldemort glared. "No."

Dumbledore honked indignantly.

The six inch man hiccupped, drinking more beer.

Bob whistled in boredom.

Jacques coughed, looking out the window.

Voldemort sighed. "I need sex."

Tom slowly bit the Twinkie, looking around to see if anyone was about to suddenly appear. No one did. He chewed happily.

He looked like Lucius. He was tall, blond, regal, hot, and staring evilly at Voldemort.

"Hi," he murmured. "Name's Luca."

"Voldemort," Voldemort responded, bowing.

Luca bowed back. "Evil?"

"Definitely," Voldemort said with a nod.

"Sex?" Luca asked, smiling stunningly.

Voldemort sighed. "I think I'm in love."

Draco blinked.

"Well then," Tom broke the somewhat awkward silence, "refreshments are over there, then."

Yero was the first at the table, and he helped himself to a generous portion of French fries with maple syrup.

Bunny sat on the kitchen floor as Archibald poured the pink mixture into his hair.

"You're sure this is ok for the baby?" Henry asked.

"Yeah." Bunny answered, "The baby will be happier if I have pink hair."

"I really like these rubber gloves," Archibald commented, "They make me feel important."

"I like a man in rubber." Bunny smiled, the room blinked, "I'm sorry, it's the pregnancy."

"I'm not commenting on men in rubber." Henry said.

"That's because," Bunny paused before suddenly screaming "YOU STOLE MY PURPLE CRAYON YOU CRAYON STEALING TUTRLE BASTARD!"