Disclaimer: I disclaim everything. (Hahaha… they suspect nothing).
Harry is on platform 9 ¾ with the Dursleys who are looking quite uncomfortable and moutachy. Harry puts down his briefcase and shakes hands with all three of them.
Harry: Well, goodbye. HaHaHaHaHa…..
Harry runs off towards the pillar and through it. He spots Ron and Hermione thus running towards them as he did with the pillar.
Ron: Golly gosh, old chap. You have grown.
Harry smiles proudly.
Harry: I know.
Harry wipes a tear from his face and then they hug, patting each others back. Hermione backs away.
Hermione: Shouldn't we be getting on the train.
Ron: Aren't we on the train, oh Delilah.
Hermione: No. Ha!
Gets on train. Finds empty compartment. Ron notices a spider.
Ron: Ahh! Spider! Scary!
They all turn to Ron.
Ron: …but cool.
Smoothes hair, straightens jacket and restores coolness.
Music: Blood by My Chemical Romance
Harry: I think about this journey all the summer,
As my home in Privet Drive is such a bore.
Ron + Hermione: We pity you, we do and we both like that hat.
All three: But at least we're happy now,
They all clap twice.
All three: In compartment four…
We are so glad,
Jazz people: Glad!
They do jazz hands while singing this.
Neville Longbottom: And we're singing on the train that does go to Hogwarts school.
Harry and Ron: We are so glad,
Harry, Ron + Hermione: Glad,
Harry, Ron, Hermione + Neville: Glaaaaad!
They all glare at Neville who dances around the room, flailing his arms about wildly.
Neville: Back away because I think I'm going mad.
Malfoy: Now it's a shame that this year's spent with that git Malfoy.
Music stops suddenly
Everyone turns and looks at Malfoy. Malfoy gets paper out of pocket, ruffles through it and looks embarrassed.
Malfoy: Sorry, wrong line.
Malfoy goes out compartment.
Music starts at where it left off - less enthusiasm
Ginny: Now it's a shame that this year's spent with that git Malfoy.
Fred + George: Let's hope that he has fallen down a hole.
Hermione: The teachers -
Snape: - But not Snape -
Hermione: - They adore me so!
Looks immensely proud.
Hitler: And its really quite a fun time, as it's not including mole!
Mole: Oh thank you.
All: We are so glad,
Jazz people: Glad!
Yes.
The Penguin Community (TPC): That summer is now over,
All: And we're singing on the train that does go to Hogwarts school.
We are so glad,
Less people: Glad,
That person on the Simpson with the cool, squeaky voice that keeps saying me and disagreeing with the crowd: Glaaaaaad!
All move into the middle covering the Simpson's dude. Smiling.
Bo-Chad: And of course my name is no Bo-Chad.
Jesus: Liar.
Music stops