Here is a new chapter finally! Thanks for the reviews! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter…it will be a little bit dramatic, but this story is entitled for a little drama. Enjoy!
Chapter 6: All good things
Can I call this love already, I have no idea, but deep down I know that I'm coming close to it. I'm definitely starting to fall in love already, the thing that is keeping me from telling him is the realisation that I know absolutely nothing about him, I don't know what his middle name is and if he even has one, I don't know what his parents' names are, I don't know when he had his first kiss, if he ever was in love and I don't even know if he is starting to have the same feelings for me as I have for him. And the realisation that I don't know makes me want to know so much more.
'So I know it's probably kind of late for a visit, but this just couldn't wait.' Marissa said uneasy, she looked at Ryan and with every second her passion for him grew, she needed to tell him not only that but she wanted to tell him everything she was feeling and everything she was thinking.
'Okay…' Ryan said a little unsure of what else to say, he motioned for the sofa and Marissa nodded her head, they both moved into its direction and sat down on it. 'Do you want to drink something?' Ryan asked calmly and hoping he would ease the tension. Marissa shook her head no and added a 'Thanks' with it.
'Okay so I know I haven't really been behaving normal today, or lets say professional but I have my reasons for it.' Marissa said Ryan nodded his head but stayed quiet he didn't want to interrupt her seeing as he knew she was going to continue her little confession or whatever it was. 'You see today when Mrs. Brick came in she immediately reminded me of my grandmother, her sweet smile, her knowledge everything reminded me of how my grandma was.' Marissa said while looking down, she really didn't know why she was telling him this well she knew; she felt that she could trust him and just tell him what she was feeling without having a particular reason as to why she had to do so.
'But her sweetness, and knowledge soon disappeared when it was discovered she suffered from Alzheimer, she didn't know who I was or who my mom was, and before we knew it she died…of a heart attack which runs in our family…and seeing Mrs. Brick have a heart attack just made me snap…I had to do something, I had to save her but I couldn't.' Marissa said, she was struggling with her tears but when she felt Ryan's hand on her thigh she pushed them back.
'My mom also has Alzheimer, and I'm scared…that she too will have a heart attack and that I can't do anything about it, that I can not save her if it happens. I'm sorry I'm telling you all this I'm just scared and I trust you.' Marissa said the tears were now slowly running down her pinkish cheeks. Ryan looked at the distraught woman that was sitting on his sofa the woman that had been through too much in her life already and he couldn't help but feel guilty. He hugged Marissa and she gladly accepted the hug, she placed her head in the crook of his neck and took in Ryan's scent, which was a mixture of his coco shampoo and his lovely cologne.
After a few minutes of just holding on to him, she released him and wiped away the tears, Marissa took in a deep breath and would now tell him what she was actually came for. 'That actually wasn't what I wanted to tell you when I came here, I just had to tell you, don't ask me why because I don't even know why.' She said with a slight laugh and a sweet smile, that made Ryan's heart beat faster.
'I promised Mrs. Brick that I was going to tell you how I really felt about you, and Ryan I know this seems fast but after everything I don't think it's that fast…I'm starting to fall in love with you Ryan Atwood-Cohen, actually I think I'm already in love with you, and I want to know you, you know more about me then I know about you, I want to do more then just make love to you, I want to know you, really know you.' Marissa said with a shy smile.
Ryan watched her and could feel all the guilt rush back through his body again, he knew from that point on he was no longer going to be this man, this man who he hated. He was positive he was starting to fall in love with Marissa too, but what was going on now was not fair not fair to him and certainly not fair to Marissa.
Honestly what will become of me?
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming
'Marissa I want that too, but there are certain things in my life that I need to figure out before anything can happen between us, anything else.' Ryan said he saw Marissa's shy smile change into a frown and a sad look. He hated himself for this moment but couldn't keep this going on longer not until he had the things figured out.
'What?' asked Marissa was he really saying that he didn't want the same thing as her, was he just saying that they couldn't be anything, that they just had some sex, didn't he see it like she did, didn't he see it as making love, because that is how she experienced it. 'What things?' she asked.
'Things that have to be settled before I even…I just need to settle things…' Ryan said he was clearly not being obvious and straight to the point with Marissa, but how could he tell a girl that he already was starting to love that she had been making love to a married man, a man who had a wife waiting for him in New York, a man who had left his house in the spur of the moment, a man who had planned his future with that woman. How could he tell Marissa that he had to choose between his wife and his…what was she, she was not his mistress nor was she his girlfriend, and it was too soon to call her his soul mate, regardless of what she was, he had to choose between Theresa and Marissa, and neither of them knew he was going to make a choice. Better yet neither knew the existence of one another.
'Look Marissa I'm sorry but for right now we should just be friends…' Ryan said as he locked his eyes with her sad ones. Marissa choked back a sob and felt like the biggest fool in that moment.
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?
'Friends…Ryan since we've met each other we haven't been friends, or at least for as far as I know, friends don't do the things we did.' She said how could he say this weren't they on the same page didn't they want the same things. Marissa laughed bitterly, clearly they didn't.
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
'I'm sorry…' Ryan said he didn't know what else to say, Marissa got up she was shocked and hurt didn't she just give him a confession about how she already fell in love with him just minutes ago, didn't he hear her say she trusted him. Marissa looked at Ryan one last time, she was not going to pretend this, what he had just said didn't hurt her, because it did. It made her want to curl up and weep with someone there to comfort her. She let the tears that had been brimming her eyes pour down her delicate cheeks.
She let out yet another sob while coming to a standing position she gave him a hurt look, and saw the hurt in his eyes as well but why would he be hurt he was the one that told her to be just friends, he was the one that practically turned her down. She walked towards his door and heard him say. 'Marissa please sit and calm down, you're in no condition to drive.' Marissa chose to ignore him.
'That's not good enough.' Marissa replied to his attempt of apology she practically ran out of his house and closed the door behind her, she ran towards her car, her hands were shaking due to her now uncontrollable cries, but she managed to open her car get in turn on the engine have one look at Ryan who was standing in his doorway and drive away.
After a good 15 minutes of crying she parked her car in front of her house, all the lights were out and she had no tears any longer, she heard his voice over and over again. Telling her he wanted to be friends, fundamentally telling her he didn't feel the same way. Letting out yet another sigh Marissa locked her doors and walked up the few steps to her house. She came in and went straight to her room. Lying down his voice kept replaying itself in her mind, she could still feel his touch on her thigh, she could still remember his sweet scent, everything that had anything to do with him was vividly replaying itself in her mind.
Travelling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why
Marissa rolled over in her bed and set her alarm off, she hadn't slept that night, not after the painful conversation she had had with the man of her dreams, with Ryan. How could she be so vulnerable, and why had she ever agreed to play the future game with Summer a week before. 'How'd it go?' asked Summer as she came into Marissa's room fully clothed.
'What?' Marissa asked clearly distracted by the thoughts in her head. Summer sat down on Marissa's bed and looked at her in shock; she knew what she was talking about.
'You're late night visit to Ryan, how did it go did you finally tell him what you are feeling for him?' Summer asked while she looked at Marissa's pained expression. Summer immediately questioned herself had she said something wrong.
'It went well until he told me he just wanted to be friends and that he didn't feel the same way for me.' Marissa said as she pulled her blanket up to her chin and closed her eyes tightly she was refusing to cry over him anymore.
'Aw baby…I'm so sorry.' said Summer as she bent down and planted a loving kiss on Marissa's fore head. 'But that doesn't make sense at all…I was sure he was feeling the same way…' Summer said, Marissa nodded slightly and stared at her ceiling. 'Those Cohen brothers are really something, I have a great time with Seth and we were actually starting to like each other next thing I know he's acting really hostile around me.' said Summer as she too lay down next to Marissa and stared at the ceiling.
'I know me and Ryan make love a couple of times, like really make love, when I tell him we can't anymore he comes after me and when I tell him I have feelings for him he suddenly tells me we need to be friends.' Marissa added, she really loved Summer when she told her what she was feeling and that Marissa wasn't crazy.
'Guys…I'm giving up on them.' Summer said as she turned on her side so she was facing Marissa. 'Me too.' came Marissa's reply the girls pinkie swore on it and got up to get ready to go to work and face the inevitable.
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?
'Dr. Cooper you're doing rounds with Dr. Cohen.' said dr. Bailey and soon walked away, Marissa looked like she had just been hit by a mail truck which Dr. Cohen did she mean. Ryan or Seth and did it really matter with which one she wanted to work, they were brothers meaning that Seth probably already knew what had happened, meaning it was going to be one awkward morning.
'Dr. Cooper, we have a patient with a gun shot wound, I need you in the OR pronto!' said Seth as he run away, was he being mean to her or just strictly professional, did he just yell at her or was he under a lot of pressure. Was she reading too much into things, she didn't know but right now it didn't matter they had a patient to save.
Marissa shook the thought out of her head and started to run towards the OR she accidentally bumped into someone, and when she looked up to see who it was she wished she had kept her eyes on the hall way and not on the ground. Ryan steadied Marissa and gave her his signature smile. Marissa could feel her knees go weak, and all the times she had cursed the little voice in her head who most of the time had been nagging her she was thanking that little voice right now seeing as it told her to keep her act on.
Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die
'I'm sorry…' said Ryan in a low voice, and Marissa immediately knew he wasn't apologizing for bumping into her but for what happened yesterday. She smiled at him and pulled away from his grip on her.
'It's okay you didn't see me…' Marissa said in the same low and meaningful voice Ryan had just used, also Ryan knew that what she said had nothing to do with their bump, it had a reason behind it, the pain was evident in her voice when she said that, pain that he caused to be there. 'I need to go' said Marissa and with that she continued to run to the OR, her head up as she did so.
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?
After what seemed like hours Seth and Marissa finally washed their hands and sat back down in the washroom, they had preformed an excellent surgery well Seth had preformed an excellent surgery and Marissa had helped him a little. He had taken the bullet out without damaging anything, and the man was going to be better soon.
'Dr. Cohen that was amazing.' Marissa said as she threw away the paper she had just dried her hands with she looked at Seth and offered him a small smile.
'Seth it's just Seth…Dr. Cohen makes me feel like my father…and I'm still in denial with being the crazy eyebrow man's son.' Seth said laughing at his own joke, he got a quizzical look from Marissa and shook his head a little. 'When you'll meet him you'll know what I'm talking about.' he said. Marissa just merely nodded and laughed slightly.
'Well Seth it was an amazing surgery.' Marissa said as she got up to walk away. 'Thanks' Seth said, she turned around and nodded sweetly at him and continued to walk away Seth followed her and when they were about to go their separate ways Seth spoke up.
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end?
'Hey Marissa…' he said Marissa turned around slightly and looked at him, she waited for him to continue and he did not disappoint. 'Just hang in there okay.' He said and walked away.
Marissa immediately knew he was not talking about something work related he was talking about her weird relationship, if you could call it that with his brother. She wasn't sure what he was trying to tell her, hang in there with being friends, hang in there and wait for him, hang in there because…? She didn't know and she wished that one day she'd find out for what she was supposed to be hanging in.
Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.
Sometimes not knowing is better then knowing but in this situation being left in the dark literally means being left in the dark, it's not something anyone should have to experience, it's frightening, not knowing what you're waiting for, and if you're even waiting for something, maybe you're waiting for something that isn't even there maybe you're waiting for a dream to come true, but sometimes dreams don't come true. Therefore from time to time knowing is much better then not knowing.
Hope you guys liked it, song I used is called All good things by Nelly Furtado. Let me know what you think by leaving me a review! Love Noor!