Disclaimer: I do not own the Titans. But I do own this crappy chapter.

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Day Seven

Five hours and forty-seven minutes of toe fungus… and other various types of mildew.

He wanted to die.

Robin's cheeks were tinted yellowish-green, his flavor raw with the tang of bile. In a simpler form, he was sick to his stomach. After watching "What's under your foot?" and "It came from the fingernail!" and a painfully long marathon of "Honey, I ate the moldy cheese", he was fearful to peer into the fridge again, especially since the shelves were engulfed in moldy turkey limbs and tofu blocks. Raven's teapot was the only thing in the Tower free of some sort of plague.

Starfire, on the other hand, was having the time of her life watching these odd shows. Robin would rather chew off his own arm than watch another minute of... whatever that blue blob was. But if it made Star happy, he'd try not to smash the television.

The boy raised his eyebrows repeatedly. What in the world was the person who made up this program thinking? All of Robin's conclusions lead to that the staff was probably cleaning out a refrigerator and got inspired by newly found hamsters in the plastic strawberry box… either that, or the company was just really high. But still... why would they be motivated to create a show that made people sick to their stomachs? Whatever the reason, Robin wanted to sue the producer for every penny in his pocket. There were probably only nine people who watched the show anyway—including Star. Why was it even on the air? Robin's only guess was that the producer was the Channel 14 founder's nephew or something— even more reason to file a lawsuit. He was most likely overreacting, but if you had to sit through hours on top of hours of "Fungus'R'us" commercials, you'd feel the same way.

Now he wished that he hadn't fixed the power. At least then he wouldn't have to be tortured by a singing mushroom named Paul. Of course, he had to take the consideration of a candlelight dinner and a battery operated radio playing something romantic. And then they would make affectionate eye contact, smiling. They would move closer...and… and…

…And Robin was losing his mind.

Considering Starfire as more than a friend was...terrifying. He wasn't entertaining anything extreme at all, but he was tempted beyond belief to hold her in his arms and just kiss her until he passed out from lack of oxygen. He almost confessed his true feelings to her during basketball practice, but the power flicked off and Robin had around one hundred and six pounds fall on top of him. Starfire was light, but when she practically body slammed him...yeah...not so gentle.

Robin squirmed around in his seat awkwardly. Starfire began laughing hysterically while pointing at pieces of mold, which had just begun tap-dancing in the television. His temple throbbed miserably. He loved Starfire, but was love really enough to keep him sane for the next few wrinkles in time? Well, he wasn't going to wait to find out. But before he formed an escape plan, he could use the technique he used to watch Bruce use on his girlfriends to soften them up a little...

"Hey, Star?" he said, smiling boyishly and flexing his arms.

She never took her eyes off the screen. "Yes, Robin?"

"Can we watch something else besides expired groceries?"

"Why?"

"Because," he smirked, making a point of attracting attention to his anatomy. "We've been watching it for…a while."

"Many hours, yes?"

"Yes."

Starfire sighed in defeat and smiled assuringly as she took a quick glance at him. "We may change the channel," she confirmed, shuddering thoughtfully when she realized the way Robin was leaning into her.

He snickered softly. "Great."

"Well, what do you wish to watch?" she inquired, tilting her head into his neck.

"Something besides fungus." He mused, enjoying the way she was stealing scents of him.

"Perhaps..."

"What?"

"A romantic film… if you are still not disturbed by the one we watched a few days ago."

Robin smacked himself inwardly, forcing a pained smile. "Sure..."

"You are not going to object?"

"Nah." he replied simply. Starfire slapped her hand over his forehead.

"You are ill?"

"No. I'm just...uh...tense."

The alien's eyes shimmered as Robin offered his signature grin. He pushed the red button on the remote, and an ocean sunset flashed onto the screen. Robin gave a rare wink, surprising her gravely. He twiddled his thumbs nervously... and turned on a very different tone of voice.

"Looks like the ones we watch, doesn't it? On the roof…" he asked, mildly flirtatious. Starfire looked slightly bewildered.

"Um... yes." she blinked. Robin's face suddenly puckered up like a sour lemon or an overly ripened fruit, disgusted with himself. Okay, maybe the Bruce techniques really sucked when it came to extraordinarily naive girls like Starfire. Philandering and being cocky was by far the worst idea he ever hatched. He could just be himself—the boy she fell for in the first place.

Or… he could try the movie theater trick...

Robin let out a painfully false yawn as his arms flew up into the air, one coincidently landing around Starfire's shoulder. The side of her mouth opened slightly, showing an array of rather sharp looking teeth. He flinched. She wasn't going to bite him... was she?

Star ran her tongue across her molars, wiping some mustard off her pearly whites. Robin forced a relieved sigh... but he wasn't completely relaxed. He had just used the most awkward trick in the book on her, and… she was giving into it. Starfire nestled her head into his chest, smiling brightly. Robin let out a short laugh. He'd done it! The stupid trick actually worked! He was actually holding her and not about to explode! Score!

A random gurgling sound echoed behind them, followed by a crazed grin and something plump jumping out at them. Robin's hand flew off Starfire's shoulder and he jumped into a battle stance. Starfire screeched and kicked her legs about before landing on the ground facedown. One of her feet smacked Robin directly in the shin. He yelped and tumbled down as if he had tripped over a puddle of grease. Silkie rolled about the couch until he bumped into a pillow, and began chewing it. Robin opened his eyes underneath the mask. Mounds of citrus hair were piled on his face; the head that they were attached to began moaning into the carpet. Robin brushed Starfire's tresses off tenderly as he rolled her slender frame over. She spat a few pieces of fabric and lint out of her mouth. Robin suppressed a laugh. The alien peeped with confusion, staring up at Robin like he was an endless pit of space. Silkie snorted from the other side of the room.

Starfire cupped his cheek with her hand. "Robin, what has happened?"

He blushed. "Uh...I guess Silkie thinks April fools day came early this year." Star made a half-smile.

"You always seem to know... what to say," she mumbled, her lips tingling with sensations of what had never been.

"You'd be surprised." he mused, offering her his hand.

...Of what could never be.

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Author's Note: Well…I wanted to make it just long enough to progress their relationship a bit, so it's only a bit over 1,000 words. I kept, like, all the original wording from years ago, so that's why it isn't so great. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway and please review! Oh, and a posted a new oneshot called "My Star" which is much, much better written. Check that out too if you get the time! Sorry this was so suckish, and it really was this time. Ugh... Oh but also, I am on YouTube now! Click on my homepage link and check out my videos! But... maybe not this second...

PWG

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