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Chapter 7: Fight with or against.
Do you ever feel like you've made some huge mistake in your life, concerning boys like you had to play them hot and cold before you told him what you felt but then when you say it you feel relieved until the guy tells you he wants to be friends. I don't know what that is and I certainly don't know what to do about it, do I keep my head up high or do I roll up in a little ball and weep, but what if there's more behind the fact that he just wants to be friends, what if you could see in his eyes that he was hurt while telling you to just be friends. Again do you ignore it and just move on or do you sulk over him or there's a last option do you question him about it because you're not willing to give up without a fight…I guess time will tell.
There he was sitting in his office with papers in front of him, papers he always shoved away when she was coming. Papers he never showed anyone apart from one person, papers he always kept hovering over with a worried and hurt expression while looking at them.
This time she didn't walk passed his office like she had done many times before, this time she kept looking at him from outside of his office and couldn't help but find it hard to walk away, she couldn't turn around she was stuck and she could either walk the two steps to his door and knock or she could turn around like she did everyday and just forget anything was going on, pretend things were not complicated, pretend for once she wasn't Marissa Cooper.
She didn't do it this time because she knew she had to face him sooner or later, so she took the two steps it took and knocked two times gently. 'Knock knock.' She said with a slightly awkward smile on her face as she opened the door and saw Ryan turn around in his chair. They locked eyes teal with indigo mixed together it would become a dark teal and it would fir perfectly.
'Marissa…' Ryan said forgetting the papers on the wall forgetting the fact that he was smiling broadly when he saw her nothing mattered right now except Marissa Cooper.
24 hours before
'Hey Coop!' Summer yelled when she saw Marissa walk down the corridors of Seattle Grace Hospital. Marissa turned around she was exhausted and still had a few hours to go, it wasn't that her body was exhausted her mind was at the point of full explosion and not because of the medical terms she had to go over with every patient step by step and had to know by hard right now, but because of her personal life which was to say the least a total chaos.
'Hey Sum.' Marissa said softly when Summer approached her. Summer looked at Marissa clearly worried and smiled compassionately at her while rubbing her back as they walked through the corridors together.
'Are you alright?' Summer asked. Marissa turned towards her and nodded her head forcefully. 'Okay just checking…' Summer said a little taken aback by Marissa's sudden head shake.
'Ugh I'm losing my mind…' Marissa said. 'I'm not okay I still haven't talked to him and I don't know what to do anymore…his voice keeps repeating itself in my head and I'm seriously going crazy Sum.' Marissa whined.
'I knew something was up…' Summer said while giving her yet another sympathetic smile, Summer's dark brown orbs gave Marissa a worried look yet also a very confident one when she turned Marissa around. 'Just go talk to him already!' Summer said while holding Marissa's shoulders in her little nevertheless very powerful hands.
'And say what exactly…' Marissa asked looking around to see if nobody was watching them.
'Just tell him the truth that you want to know what he means with 'Hang in there' I want to know what it means, seriously could he be more vague…if you don't do it for you then for the love of God do it for me! I can not stand this anymore it's like I'm watching the Notebook and I don't know what's happening!' Summer said.
'Aw I love the Notebook!' Marissa said while smiling for a minute she forgot that she had so much on her mind her eyes sparkled when she thought of that particular movie she used to watch with her mother when she had her good days and remembered things…it was ironic really Julie was having the same thing Allie had Alzheimer and even though a movie like that could make you depressed it made Marissa understand her mother more and have more patience. 'It's like the best movie in ever!' Marissa said excitedly.
'I know I love it too oh there was one line I loved so much!' Summer said while thinking hard of it as did Marissa.
'Summer romances end for all kinds of reasons. But when all is said and done, they have one thing in common: They are shooting stars-a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity. And in a flash, they're gone.' They said in unison while laughing out loud when they were finished.
'What are we babbling about…go…go…go' Summer suddenly said while turning Marissa around and pushing her towards Seth's office. Marissa tried her best to find an excuse but Summer being Summer didn't want to hear it, when she was determined then she really was determined.
That's why she was here standing in his office with not one clue what to say to him and how to say it, she didn't know if he would listen if he would find her unprofessional if he would get mad. Closing her eyes in embarrassment she tried to think of something quick, not even noticing that Seth was staring at her with a sneer on his face.
'Yes…' he said waiting for her to open her eyes and tell him why she was in his office although he knew why she was here he enjoyed seeing her squirm.
'Hi…' she said while looking around the room frantically she needed to have an escape route the door behind her was the closest so she just had to do with that one if things turned out to be utterly confusing and scary. 'Hang in there what does that mean?' she asked better get straight to the point she thought to herself.
'Wow you're direct…I thought you would find an excuse and talk about the weather or something…guess I'm out of luck…' Seth said with a sly smirk on his face he facial expression turned into a serious one. 'Look he's been through a lot this last year…you just got to give him some time he deserves it believe me he does…' he said.
'Well what has he been through…' Marissa asked she had a right to know right.
'Well it's more complicated then you think…' Seth said he really wasn't the person to tell her this; Ryan would kill him if he told her this.
'Complicated how…is he gay, does he have a wife back in New York.' Marissa said in a mocking tone laughing slightly when she gave him all her scenarios. She looked at the shocked Seth and immediately didn't think her thoughts were funny anymore. 'Married…' she said and when Seth looked down it was the only answer she needed. 'Son of a b.itch!' she said while making her way to the door.
Seth suddenly moved in auto pilot and stopped her before she could get to Ryan and tell him everything she thought of him. 'Hey Marissa it's more then that okay…there's more going on.' Seth said and he motioned for Marissa to sit.
Explaining Ryan's life to her in detail for hours, why he had been taken in by his parents, why he had left to New York, why he was married, why he left New York, why he came to Seattle Grace and seem so happy, and most importantly why he wanted to be friends. It was a lot to take in and still she knew there was one thing she had to do.
Standing in front of his office she knocked on his door and said 'Knock knock' while doing so she came into his office and he looked at her. 'Marissa…'
Marissa's eyes drifted of to his desk, the desk with the papers the blue papers which needed three signatures, one of the husbands, one of the wife and one of the attorneys. The blue coloured divorce papers still all three places were left blank.
'So are you going to divorce her?' Marissa asked and suddenly Ryan looked at his desk she couldn't have known it were his divorce papers even if they were exposed…suddenly two vivid images were stuck in Ryan's mind, the Latina he'd been married to for years and the beautiful intern he had fallen hard for the minute he saw her.
I choose the last one, I questioned him about it because I was not willing to give up without a fight, I had fallen fast and hard for him and that was something I had never felt before that in itself was worth fighting for, now it was up to him to answer my question and fight against me or with me.
Okay I hope you guys like it!