Sorry it's been so long. I have no inspiration for my other story, Like a Vampire, so I got a little discouraged. Also, To Sleep (a different Twilight fiction of mine) is now officially finished! If you want to go read and review I'd be very happy. If you want to give me ideas for Like a Vampire I'd appreciate that also.

I have officially seen Twilight 8 times! Isn't that exciting? Ha. I just thought I'd share that with you 

I don't own Twilight.

RPOV

The darkness gradually receded. I was left to face reality. The evening sunlight seemed dimmer, grayer, as if Jake was already gone. Aunt Alice was hovering anxiously in the doorway. I slowly sat up. My curls fell around my face, providing me with a slight curtain to block out the rest of the world. I didn't want to talk to my father. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

I buried my face in my hands. Even though Jake had agreed to meet me, I had no hope. I knew how he was when he put his mind to something. Besides, why did I ever believe that I could have him? That brief period of time was just a short flash of beauty in my now barren existence.

No one tried to talk to me. I stayed motionless for hours. Memories crowded my consciousness: Watching a horror movie with Jake and pretending to be scared just to feel his arm around me; laughing as a russet wolf turned circles in front of me, chasing his tail; feeling Jake's arms around me, hugging me goodnight; dancing with Jacob; kissing Jacob; Jacob telling me he loved me…

I was under attack from a cunning enemy. How do you fight memories? I had been so naïve. Jacob could never love me. I'm a vampire! For the first time ever, I cursed what I was. There were voices arguing down the hall, and quotes from all of my favorite authors clamoring in my brain, trying to make me feel better. Nice try, guys, but this is something that you can't fix.

It was almost laughable; a few hours ago I was unbelievably happy. Now, I wasn't even sure how it would feel to be whole again. All my life, I'd been told that I was special, amazing, a miracle. I had believed it, once upon a time. Yet, the one person whose opinion truly mattered to me was leaving. Maybe he was already gone.

My breath caught in my throat. I had to see him one more time. I was wasting precious moments. I quickly, but silently, got ready. Aunt Alice was still standing in the doorway. She didn't say anything until I was completely done.

"Best take the window." She murmured. There was pity in her voice. I hated this new reality. Never before had I been pitiful. Never before had I felt pitiful. I just gave her a nod and slipped out. The night was cool and bright with stars. It was too painfully beautiful, too hopeful and happy. Somewhere out there couples were taking romantic strolls and enjoying the stars, but I was about to watch my soul mate walk away from me. God I was pathetic.

JPOV

I paced the garden waiting. It wasn't exactly a garden, more an overgrown jungle of flowers and herbs that Nessie and I had found a long time ago. The owner was old and tired and didn't care what we did out here as long as we brought her fresh roses once and a while. I hoped Nessie would remember to bring them when I was gone.

Gone. I was really leaving her? How could I leave her? She needed me. She deserved better. So many conflicting thoughts were in my head that I couldn't make sense of it. I loved her so much. That was why I was leaving. I should already be gone. I was just too selfish to forgo this last encounter.

She was late. I paced and paced, feeling the wolf close to the surface. This was going kill me. The wolf was already howling with agony inside of me. I saw her then. She was beautiful and angelic as she approached me, but she wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Ness?" I said. My voice sounded too concerned. I needed to pull this off so that she could live in peace. "Renesmee, look at me." I moved closer to her.

"I'd rather not." She said. Her voice sounded haughty and distant but I could hear the hurt underneath. I sighed and reached forward, putting a finger under her chin to lift her head. She tried to resist. "That's not fair, Jake." She whispered. The mask was gone from her voice. I could hear raw pain in it. In that moment, I hated myself.

"I'm sorry, Renesmee." I was so so sorry. She would never know just how terribly sorry I was. She allowed me to lift her face up so that I could see her. My breath caught; her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Her face was carefully blank. It seemed dreadfully familiar, yet I knew that she had never looked like this before. I would have killed the SOB who had hurt my Nessie this badly.

I felt sharp pain as I realized that I was the one who had hurt her this badly. It was my fault. I pulled my hand away. Nessie really did deserve better than me. I withdrew into myself. As if sensing my withdrawal, Ness stepped closer to me.

"No, Jake, don't. Don't pull away from me. We can fix this." Her words held more plea than conviction.

"It's better this way, Renesmee."

"Stop calling me that! What happened to 'Ness' and 'Nessie'?" She was too smart for me. I had been trying to distance myself even more by using her full name. She knew me so well.

"That's your real name." I said, keeping my voice carefully indifferent.

"No. Damn it, Jake. I am not going to let you do this!" I winced. Ness never cussed especially at me. I must have made her really angry. This isn't how I wanted to end things.

"It's too late, Renesmee. I'm leaving."

"No." Her voice broke a little. She grabbed my arm as I turned away. I sighed and removed her hand.

"Goodbye, Renesmee." She winced as if I'd slapped her. She must have heard the awful finality in my voice as clearly as I had. "I am sorry." I added because I had to try to remove her pain. Everything in me was fighting to do what she wanted. That's what I was supposed to do. She was my imprint. I was here to be what she needed. I had to work to convince myself that this was the right thing.

"Jake…" She whispered, begged. I had to leave. If I stayed any longer, I wouldn't be able to go. I turned and ran, changing into a wolf on the move. I stopped a good distance away, under the cover of trees, and dared to look behind me. What I saw almost had me turning back. Renesmee, my beautiful, strong, amazing Renesmee, was crying. Her arms were wrapped around herself. Her eyes were trained on me as if she could see me. I knew she couldn't, it was far too dark. Goodbye, my love. I thought. Then, I let the wolf take over, forcing him to run away instead of go back to Ness. Goodbye.

RPOV

Jacob was gone. I watched him fade into the darkness. He had left me all alone. The one person that I had believed would always be there for me was gone. I felt myself go numb, my body instantly rejecting the amount of anguish that I was feeling.

I raised a hand to touch my face when I realized that I was crying. I never cried. At least, I never cried over anything but Jacob apparently. I remembered the indifference in his voice. Had it been real? I so desperately wanted to believe that he had been lying that I knew he hadn't been. Anything that I wanted that badly couldn't be real.

I imagined him stopping far away, looking back with regret. I wished her could. I stared at the place where I wanted him to be, but I knew it wasn't real. Jacob was gone. He didn't want me. Maybe he would go running back to Leah. She was probably better for him anyway. A werewolf could never love a vampire. I wasn't' even a vampire! I was a freak. Of course Jacob couldn't love me.

Anguish built up inside of me. Is this how my mother felt when Dad left her? I had no answers. I wanted to turn into a zombie and just let myself be numb, but I had others to think of. The emotions I was feeling right now would kill Uncle Jasper. He and Aunt Alice would probably leave if I was like this for too long. Mom would be hurt. Dad would be hurt and angry. He would probably go after Jake. Even though this was all his fault. Grandma and grandpa would be hurt. I would be worrying and hurting everyone, ripping apart my family, putting Jake in danger. It was that last one that had me putting back my shoulders. Tears still fell down my face, but it was better than defeat.

I was defeated, broken, numb, but no one needed to know. I'd get Grandma to build me a house. I'd convince them that it was time for me to be independent. I'd go through every day with my eyes trained on the horizon, waiting. My life stretched out before me, endless and lonely. The last untouched piece of my heart shattered. Pain like white hot knives cut through me. I would have to endure this every day. At least I could hope that it would fade. I doubted it would, but it was all I had.

I slowly, painfully trudged home. In an instant, my life had completely changed. The world was black and white. I literally couldn't see the colors anymore. The stars seemed annoying. The cool night air a painful reminder of last night. Was it only last night? It seemed a lifetime ago.

I kept walking for my family. His was my gift to them. I would much rather curl up and die, but I couldn't. I didn't even have the comfort of mortality, a guaranteed end. All I had was false hope. I let myself think that he might return someday. When he did I would be waiting. I could never hate him. Even after this I still loved him. My first day of waiting began at the chime of midnight. I could only pray that it wasn't also the first day of the rest of eternity.