I hate this thing. I already tried writing this twice, and the second time i was doing well and i was halfway through when the thing clicked on something that i did not click!!! So i have to rewrite this AGAIN. UGHHHHHHH!!

in other news...i'm sooo sorry. i had a really long apology before, but now i dont feel like it. damn. So anyway. Sorry. good things: Only one week left of school, and at the end of june im goin to Massachusetts with my daddio and i should wear a sign that says NINJA EMMETT for anyone who reads my stories to see me...blahblha.

Bad things: this chapter was deleted twice and im redoing it again but i mentioned that. i believe that i'm gettin carpal tunnel. I have to get to Massachusetts by plane, which i am not looking forward to. imma die. uhhh also...i think thats all. oh. and im hungry. and i have like no ideas so i'm makin it up as i go along!!!!! and my shift key is purty much broken except this little black rubber circle where it used to be, so if i have any uncapitalized words, i apologize. plus i cant copy and paste cuz the stupid thing wont let me without saying "internet explorer is not responding, lets all shut it down, woo!" ugh. here ya go:

"My name is Bella, i've gotta vampire guy with lips like morphine. Do-da-do," I sang as I skipped through the park. Then I tripped. Ow? I looked back to see if i had tripped on something or if it had been just my clumsy feet trying to kill me again.

I saw a little black book and picked it up. Death Note, it was called. Weird name. I opened it and read the first few pages, which were black with white writing. It said things about "the human whose name is written in this note shall die" and "if the time of death is not specified the victim will just die in 40 seconds" and "if the cause of death is not specified the victim will die of a heartattack."

Yeah, right. I doubted it was real...but I decided to test it out. I poised my pen from seemingly nowhere on top of the first blank page. It'd have to be someone mean, someone that no one cared about, someone bad...Mike Newton.

I ran to his window. I knew where it was because of my secret escapades (cheating on Eddie) with Mike a few months ago. I looked in the window to see Mike, dancing to some weird song that went, I'm slipping into the lava... Oh gosh. You do not want to imagine the dance moves he was experimenting with right now. Ugh.

Quickly, I wrote his name down and counted to forty in my head. At thirty-nine, his eyes grew wide, and then he collapsed onto the floor. Dead. Oh my gosh.

I ran (i was doing quite a lot of that today, wasn't I?) to my people's house.

"EDWARDOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. He was next to me instantly.

"Hello, ugly," he said.

"WHAT?!" i exclaimed.

"Kidding, kidding!" he waved his hand at me. "Gosh, take a joke."

"So, Edward. I found this today!" I held up the Death Note and he read the first page.

"Bella. Oh, my hideous little Bella," he said as I glared. "You didnt write a name in this right?"

I coughed and hid my pen in my back pocket. "Noooo.....of course not!! Heh. Why would I do that?! Psh."

He looked deeeeeeep into my eyes. "You swear?"

"Every damn day!" I joked. He gave me a 'not funny' look.

"No, i don't. Because i did."

"WHAT?!" he yelled. "Whose name?"

"Mike Newton."

He relaxed and smiled. "Good. He was worthless."

"I dunno," I debated out loud, "he was pretty good in bed, to be honest." He blinked at me.

"Uh...I mean...so I've heard," I stuttered.

Then I wrote Edward's name in my beautiful Death Note, hoping it would work. At thirty-nine, his eyes went wide as Mike's had, then rolled back into his head. Ew? Then Edward collapsed...as Mike had.

"Coolio," I said, shrugging. "Hey guys!! Edward's dead, let's party!" I shouted to the other Cullens.

Suddenly there was a disco ball above me, people around me dancing to the beat of loud music, and food. Yummy.

Then Edward got up, looking furious. Damn. Suddenly, again, everything was gone.

"How dare you guyS!" he accused. "You dare to throw a party when I'm dead?!"

"Well, Eddie," Emmett started.

"Yeah," Carlisle said with his cape on. "Well." Emmett glared at him. And, as if just noticing this, he glared at everyone else in the room: we were all wearing capes.

"WHY CAN I NEVER WEAR A CAPE!?" Emmett exclaimed to the sky.

"You're fat!" Alice said.

Edward kissed me randomly and then Alice said, "You're fat too, Edward-o!"

So Edward got sad. The end. Because a sad Edward makes for a Happy Everyoneelse!! Poor, poor moody woman!

Woo. Random? Review pleasey and then I'll update. See, now i have a good idea for my next chappie! woo. im happy.