When Jack finds Rose, it looks like she's sleeping. In the darkened room, lit only by the faint light from the doorway, he can barely see the subtle shake of her shoulders.
She's crying.
He's beside her in an instant, crouching next to her, wanting to touch her but not daring. He doesn't know if she'd welcome him now.
"Rose?" he asks softly.
There isn't enough time to react before Rose launches herself at him and wraps her arms around him, duvet and all. He can feel her trembling against him as he reciprocates the embrace. "What happened?" He almost dreads the answer.
"I was so close. So damned close. I kissed him, you know? I kissed him and I thought he might've been kissing me back an' the stupid, bloody, fucking reset happened before I could even do anything! 'S not fair!"
Jack sighs as he strokes her hair, silently damning the curse of these temporal resets. Sure, it was fun to take loops off and do things he wouldn't normally do just to see what the consequences might be. He enjoyed himself and he knows Rose did too. This is just a much needed dose of reality.
This isn't what Rose needs. Not possibilities or potentials or no regrets. She needs consequences. She needs to live her life one new day after another. This temporal recursion has to stop.
"I know," he replies, brushing his lips against her temple. "I know it is. We didn't ask for this to happen. I think we need to work on getting out of this mess. The holiday's over."
She draws away from his embrace and looks at him, though he isn't certain what she can see in the dim light. When she kisses him, it's completely unexpected.
It doesn't last long, but he can still feel the tingle of where her lips had moved against his even after she's drawn away. "What was that for?" he asks. It isn't like him to doubt something like this. Normally, he assumes he knows. She wants him like he wants her. Simple enough, really. But that isn't it. Rose is worth more than that.
"It's a thank you," she replies. "I don't think I could survive this without you."
Tears burn his eyes as he pulls her back into another hug. "Me either," he tells her.
He's seen what temporal recursions can do to people who recognise what's happening to them. He's seen the broken shell of a man, left crying and driven mad from the curse of living the same day over and over again. No-one, especially no-one human, is meant to relive the same moments again and again.
Thank god he has someone to share this with.
"Right," he says after he swiftly steals a kiss, reciprocating her thanks in the only way he knows how. "I think it's time you and I broke this temporal recursion."
He feels the weight of her regard, even though her eyes are hidden in shadow. "An' how are we going to do that?" she asks.
"Trial and error," he replies. "There's got to be something that's common between these time loops. What's the one thing that never changes?"
"We always end up on Mars," Rose says. The answer is so simple it's no wonder he missed it. Mars. The two things that remain the same. They start in the TARDIS and end up on Mars.
"The Doctor said something about that. If we're stuck in a temporal recursion, we will always travel to Mars, no matter what. But what's so special about Mars? Why there? Why not somewhere else?" He's thinking out loud now. It's tempting to pace, but he needs to remain close to Rose.
"We're missing something." Rose slowly shakes her head. "The Doctor figured it out, remember? He said that it was 'S' something or other. What if it's something on Mars? Not the planet itself? I mean, we've tried changing things, doing things different. Nothing's worked. So what if we're missing the real cause? What if it's not somethin' obvious? What if it isn't even something that we did?"
He looks at her dumbly for a long moment, letting her words soak in. Mars and the TARDIS are the two things that never change. Think, he cajoles himself. The Doctor mentioned 'S'. What the hell could that mean? S-what?
He rakes his hand through his hair, pulling back from the embrace to rest on his knees. There's something important that he's missing, something that should be obvious, but isn't. The trauma of repeating the same day over and over again has taken its toll on his memories. He can't keep them in the right order any more. He doesn't know what came before they started trying to change things and what didn't.
The beginning. That's as good a place to start as any. "Rose, what's the earliest thing you can remember from today? And I don't mean this particular round of the recursion, just in general."
Rose is quiet for several seconds and he assumes that she's trying to sort her thoughts. He knows that it is like trying to rifle through a room full of boxes of similar shape and size, trying to find one that's not exactly like all the others.
"The console room. You and I were laughing 'bout something. The Doctor joined in an' then there was the mauve alert. We followed it to Mars an' then we got out of the TARDIS and went into the city. After that, I don't remember much. I just know that the mauve alert was caused by a broken communication device of some sort."
He stands and begins to pace. "Was there anything special about the city? Something that might've changed each time we went there? Something that was different enough that it couldn't necessarily be explained by us?"
Rose releases a whistling breath through her teeth. "Um, there was that bloke. Sar-something? He was always there. Didn't matter which way we went into the city, he always met us."
She's right. Damn, he just never put the pieces together before. It was almost like he - Saran? Sarennsen? No, Sarassen - was waiting for them. Oh, hell! That starts with an S. Then again, they might be chasing the wrong clue, no matter how promising it seems. "We changed things enough that he shouldn't've been there all the time. Didn't matter which direction we went into the city, who was with us or where we went first, did it?"
She shakes her head. "He was always there."
Jack smiles. "I think we've got a place to start, though. We'll just have to talk to Sarassen. Maybe he can shed some light on things."
"I don't think we've got much time left before the reset," Rose replies.
He frowns thoughtfully as he considers the time. She's probably right. It's getting close, at least. "We'll just have to find Sarassen when we first land on Mars."
Satisfied that they finally have a plan that has a chance of working, he reaches out and rests his hand against her cheek. "Try to get a bit more rest. We'll tackle this next reset."
She smiles, leaning slightly into his touch. "You too, Jack."
"I'll try," he says and moves towards the open doorway.
"An' Jack?" The sound of her voice causes him to turn back. Now, thanks to his bulk blocking the light, she's nothing more than a shapeless bundle of human and duvet.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks," she says again.
"Any time," he says and leaves her to her sleep.
The barren landscape and the red dust that clings to her clothes and coats her skin are practically old friends. It doesn't matter that this is technically the first time she's seen this place. Thanks to the temporal recursion, this is just the latest among many.
The Doctor's hand tightens around her own, drawing her attention away from her musings on the peculiarities of time loops and what counts as a 'first time' in these situations. Casting a curious glance towards him, he merely smiles in reply. She can easily see the worry that deepens the lines around his eyes.
Wondering when she'll crack, perhaps? No, that's not fair. He's trying his best, even though the Doctor has to be re-taught each time the recursion happens. Yet it does seem to be getting easier. All it takes is one mention of Gallifrey for him to believe them. Even the initial anger and accusations have stopped. She hasn't had to give her explanation of temporal recursions for at least, oh, seven loops by now.
But the spectre of insanity does still loom over herself and Jack. It's almost as much a friend as the landscape around them. She does wonder how much more of this she can take before she finally snaps. One more time? Two? A thousand? How many successive days of the same thing can anyone stand before they go mad? If madness doesn't get her first, the exhaustion will.
She sighs and rubs her hand across her eyes. She can't let herself dwell on could be's – well, will be's, she amends. Right now, they have to find Sarassen.
Jack strides ahead of them and she knows that he's just as impatient, if not more so, to get this over with as she is. She misses the days of knowing that tomorrow is literally a new day. Sometimes it seems as though that is more a fond dream rather than a memory.
The city looms in front of them and she almost pities the poor souls that are stuck in a place like this. Sure, it's a place to call home; but it's dying. These people are merely trying to cling onto something that won't last, can't last. However, sometimes it's hard to let go.
She shivers as the thought crosses her mind, feeling as though someone had just walked over her grave. It's a conscious movement when she draws nearer to the Doctor, needing that closeness. Despite the fact that she's unsettled, she doesn't breach the quiet that seems to blanket the city. Even the normal noises of a town are muted, but she suspects that might just be in her mind.
It's only when Sarassen steps out into the street in front of them that she realises they haven't thought this through. She and Jack had only talked about finding Sarassen, not about what they'd do once he was found. Greet him, perhaps? Ask him if he knows…
Her thoughts are arrested the second she looks into the man's eyes. Those aren't the eyes of a sane man.
"You," Sarassen hisses, staring directly at the Doctor. "It's your fault! You did this! You caused this!"
The Doctor takes a half-step forward to partially shield her from Sarassen's view. "What did I cause?" he asks. "Bit thick, me. You might have to spell it out."
"That won't work, Time Lord. I know what you are, what you've done. I know that you broke it!" Sarassen snarls as his hands fist at his sides.
"Haven't broken anything recently, I don't think. Rose? Jack? Remember me breaki-"
What happens next is almost too fast for her to see. She thinks Sarassen launches himself towards the Doctor, probably with every intention of throtting him for some unknown slight. But somehow Jack's there, blocking Sarassen, easily able to hold onto the struggling man.
"Let me go!" Sarassen screams, practically frothing at the mouth. "It's his fault. If I stop him that'll mean this time it'll work. It has to work! It's the only way! He has to be stopped!"
"Why do I have to be stopped?" the Doctor asks. She bites her lip as he moves closer to the still-fighting man.
"Don't come any closer, Doc. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep him still," Jack says, grunting as Sarassen's head impacts against his chin.
"Why do I have to be stopped?" the Doctor repeats. Though she can't see the Doctor's face, she can easily imagine his expression. Compassionate, probably. Worried, most likely. Curious, definitely.
"You mucked it up!"
"What?" the Doctor asks.
She doesn't think there's enough of Sarassen left beyond the hate to be able to respond, but somehow the man manages to surprise her.
"You and your blue box broke it," Sarassen says. "It was supposed to work. It was supposed to be able to save everyone. I was supposed to save everyone. Everything was supposed to change for the better! But it didn't happen. Everything just kept starting over again." The man giggles and a chill runs down her back at the sound. "And again and again and again and again…"
"What was it?" The words are out of her mouth before she has time to censor them.
Sarassen turns his gaze towards her and she feels like she's been caught in amber, struck silent by the force of his insanity. "The future, girl. The only way to save it. Now it's gone, all gone. I try it again and again, but he's always there, stopping me. Even when I can't see him, he's there. The Time Lord's protecting time even when it shouldn't be protected. He's destroyed tomorrow!"
God. This is her future, isn't it? Just seeing… God, she has to turn away, wants to, bloody needs to, but she can't. "How were you gonna save the future?"
Sarassen laughs, a high pitched sound. "With my time machine, of course! No-one believed me, you know. No-one can travel in time. Not here. Never here. But I was going to prove them wrong. So very, very wrong. When I saved them, they'd see." The man nods. "Tell them to let me go, girl, and maybe I can save it again. If you distract the Time Lord, maybe this time it'll work."
"It won't work," the Doctor says. "You can't change the past."
She bites her tongue against the automatic protest. She knows it's possible to change the past. She's done it before and been burned.
Rose blinks. God, she hadn't even thought of that. Reapers. What if the time loop is somehow protecting them from Reapers? She looks at the sky nervously, half-expecting to see a dragon-like creature diving towards her.
"Because you stopped me!" Sarassen replies, struggling a little harder against Jack's restraining grip. "Let me go!"
"Where's your time machine?" Rose asks, sensing that she might be able to reach the man where the Doctor and Jack can't. Sarassen's too far gone to accept logic. Even the Doctor's scolding isn't working.
"It's in my pocket," Sarassen replies. She gets the impression that he's paranoid as he looks around, giving the Doctor a glare. "But you can't tell anyone. It's a secret."
"Of course it is," she agrees. "Can I see it?" Rose knows that she's treading across dangerous ground, but she gets the sense that this is their last chance. She doubts that Sarassen will let this happen again should this fail.
The man frowns and, though he's obviously insane, his gaze seems to be weighing her worth. He seemed to trust her somewhat before, telling her things that he wouldn't've told Jack or the Doctor. The question is whether he trusts her enough to show her his time machine.
Sarassen starts to move, reaching towards his pocket, and Jack lets him. She's leaning forward, as though that gesture will cause Sarassen to be that much faster. Later, she blames complacence, not to mention her movements, for what happens next.
In a movement that's so fast it's almost a blur, Sarassen does something to Jack's hand. She can hear the crack of a broken bone and his cry of pain, see the tears that spring to Jack's eyes. Sarassen practically dances free of Jack's grip, moving to keep the Doctor and herself within view.
"It's time," Sarassen says as he reaches into his pocket.
The Doctor starts to step forward, but a warning gesture from Sarassen holds him still.
"What're you going to do?" she asks.
"Change the world," Sarassen says as he pulls out a silver sphere. She has a moment to register the Doctor's gasp of recognition before she's moving. She sees the button on the side of the device and somehow she knows that she has to stop it from being pressed.
Her world narrows to nothing more than Sarassen and that sphere. She has to stop him. She can't go through this again, not after being so close to ending the recursion.
Sarassen's thumb is drifting towards that button. He's saying something, but she's not listening. His words don't matter. It's only his movements that are her concern. He's reaching for that button and she can't let that happen.
Suddenly, she's launching herself towards Sarassen, her hands outstretched to grab the sphere. She grunts at the sharp pain of the impact against Sarassen's body, feeling their jumbled mass of limbs and torso fall towards the ground. She's trying to grab the sphere, but she fumbles it, her inexpert attempts causing it to slip through her fingers and head towards the floor.
She's prepared for the inevitable flash that signals a reset. She's even prepared for the second she hits the ground or the heavy body that collapses against her. She isn't prepared for the high-pitched hum of the sonic screwdriver or the small trail of smoke that rises from the silver sphere after it rolls to a stop somewhere near her left foot.
Then her attention is captured by something far more important – the sensation of strong hands wrapping around her neck.
"I was wrong." Sarassen practically spits out the words, his eyes boring into her own as he tightens his grip. "It's not the Doctor's fault, is it, girl?"
She chokes, barely able to draw in a breath let alone speak. Her hands grip his arms, attempting uselessly to force them away. He's too strong and he's got more than enough leverage to keep her where she is.
"It's yours. You're the one who's failed the city. You're the one who caused this. You are killing it! You! And now I'm going to kill you."
To be concluded...