Note: Hooooo...boy. 17th chapter. My GOD. ANYWAY! Thank you again to my reviewers, and I don't own Jak and Daxter, though I know enough about them that if they were real, I'd be arrested for being a stalker.

On with the show!

CHAPTER 17 (Jeez...)

Torn was hunched over a pile of papers and boxes, thumbing through them. "Religious ceremony, legal ceremony...How about religious, Jak? I really don't want to deal with some crack job lawyer on such a special occasion... Jak? Jak! JAK! Wake up, you lazy ass!" Jak snorted awake. He had fallen asleep in his chair next to Torn. "Wha-What? Oh. Sorry. Religion whosits now?"

"I said, How about a religious ceremony, because lawyers are assholes."

"Sounds good." Jak said. He leaned back in his chair again and began to doze off, earning him a smack in the back of the head. "Ow! Torn!"

"Stay awake, would you? I'm not planning this whole damn thing by myself, because if that happens, we might end up getting married in a sewer or something."

"Sewer. Right." Jak mumbled. "JAK!"

"AAHH!" Torn smirked; Daxter had jumped up on Jak's shoulder and shouted to keep him awake. "Thanks, Daxter." Torn said quickly. "No problemo. I'll keep him awake." Daxter said. "Least I can do after you guys saved me from certain death." Torn nodded. He shoved a paper in Jak's face. "Pick who gets what."

"What?"

"Well, I assume you're not wearing a dress."

"Damn straight."

"So pick who wears what!" Jak looked down at the paper in front of him. It was covered with pictures of tuxedos in all shapes, sizes, and colors. "I like the blue one." Jak said, his voice still a bit thick from sleep. "You think they got any Ottsel-sized ones in there?" Daxter asked.

"Probably not, but we can custom order something." Torn said distantly. He was looking over another paper with wedding cakes printed on it. "Jak, take a look at this. It says if we have a limited number of guests, we don't have to pay as much."

"Cool. We have a limited number of guests. Sig, Ashlien, Keira, Onin, Pecker, and Daxter. And maybe Samos, if he won't screw it up."

"Can't forget Brutter."

"No way. Not forgetting Brutter." Daxter replied to Torn. "I remember we forgot to include him at that whole saving-the-world party. He figured out he wasn't invited, and snuck up and slashed everybody's engines. Nice guy when he wants to be, but he's still a Lurker through and through." Torn's blue eyes widened. "Damn." He said. He coughed. "So, Jak, you want the blue one?" Torn said.

"Yeah. Why? You want the white one?" Jak asked jokingly. "Hell no. What do you think I am, a girl?" Torn said. "I dare you to wear the white one." Jak replied.

"Now, Jak, aren't we a little too old for this?"

"Double dare you."

"Jak..."

"Triple Crocadog dare you, and if you go back on it, I'll tell Ashlien every excruciating detail of the honeymoon."

" . . . . . . . . .Goddamnit." Torn mumbled, defeated. "Fine." He added, circling the white and blue tuxedos on the paper. Jak grinned in his victory. "Don't get too cocky. I'll get you back." Torn said, waving his pencil in Jak's direction. Jak scoffed. "How so?"

"I'll think of something."

It was another week and a half of non stop planning before they got everything the way they wanted it to be. Jak looked ready to keel over. He had darkening bags under his eyes, and he hadn't slept in a week. Torn looked even worse. His tattoos somehow went from a dark powder blue to a purple color because all of the blood had drained from Torn's face and left him pale. His ears were drooping like a kicked puppy. He wasn't really aware of his surroundings. "So...Jak..."

"Eghhhh?" was the only sound Jak's tired tongue would make. "We...gotta...set a date."

"Not now...Sleep now..."

"Sleep. Gotta sleep." Torn agreed, and they both fell over on the spot, falling asleep on the floor, snoring softly. Ashlien walked in. "Oh boy. What happened here?" Ashlien somehow managed to drag Jak and Torn to a bunk and draped them over each other. She covered them the best she could with the thin blanket, then walked out. She scribbled a note saying she found them on the floor and that she dragged their fat asses to the bed and that they should watch where they fall over because someone could have gotten hurt tripping over them. She left it on Torn's desk and walked out.

Torn's eyes flickered open about four hours later, the light burning his retinas. "Owww...5 more minutes..." But Torn woke up anyway and stretched his tired, tattooed muscles. "Jak...Jak, wake up." Torn said, poking Jak lightly in the side. Jak stirred. "s'too early...no...ergh...10 more minutes."

"No, Jak. Get up." Torn ordered, poking Jak harder. "I'll get up on our wedding day. Leave me alone."

"Jak, you'll get up now, or I'll make YOU wear the white tuxedo."

"Damn it." Jak sat up and rubbed his eyes. "You suck."

"Yes, but what?"

"Screw you."

"Maybe later."

"Do you have to have an answer for everything?"

"You just hate it when I'm right." Jak got up at Torn's words and clumsily attempted to hit him in the head, only to have his clumsy attempt dodged and rebutted with an elbow in the ribs. "Ow."

"Yes. Ow. Now get up."

"M'up, M'up..." Jak got up. "Hey, look at this." Torn called over. "What?"

Torn and Jak:

I found you two collapsed on the floor like idiots. I dragged your fat asses into bed. Yeah. You're welcome. Watch where you drop next time. Someone could have broken something tripping over you two.

Ashlien

"Well that was sweet of her." Jak said.

"I doubt Ashlien is the type to be 'sweet', Jak." Torn answered. "But yeah, I guess she saved us the embarrassment of waking up on the floor." Torn laughed. "We should go find her and thank her."

"You go do that. I need some coffee."

End of Chapter 17

Wasn't it sweet of Ashlien to get our favorite men off the floor? Well, don't get used to it. She gets pissier in later chapters.